Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Sarah Palin Buys a Home in Hell's Waiting Room


Scottsdale, Arizona. A place where the damned congregate to acclimate themselves to the brutal heat and desolation which they will be facing for the next eternity.

Now Sarah Palin has purchased a home walled compound in this barren wasteland.


Seriously. This is it.

For some reason, people are taking this as a sign that she is seriously going to run for president. I can't see it. She wasn't willing to put in the work to be a halfway-decent vice-presidential candidate, I can't see her doing the exhausting work of a presidential campaign. Also, I can't really picture her giving speeches for which she is not paid.

So why would she purchase a $1.6 million home in Arizona, of all places?


Here are a few possibilities I thought of:
# 1: She bought a $1.6 million dollar walled-in compound to get away from all those darned elitists.
      'Cuz she's jes' plain folks!

#  2: Living in a walled-in compound in the middle of a god-forsaken desert is a great way to meet some of    those hot Navy Seals. (Reason #1 for Todd Palin)


# 3: Needs concrete walls to feel safe from Katie Couric.

# 4:Because it's all about Alaska. And Family. And America. But mostly her love for Alaska. And it's sad that you just don't get that.

# 5:  Because the Constitution, the Founding Fathers, God, America, Reagan.

# 6: Lots of room for free-range Mama Grizzlies.

# 7: To be closer to Bristol, because someone's gotta lug Trig around when the cameras are off!

# 8: Because living in Alaska was one more thing she could quit.

# 9: Going to live in all 50 states alphabetically.

# 10: Alaska no longer insane enough.


tennysoneehemingway said...

Perhaps she bought it because she was supporting the troops? Arizona/Afghanistan - not much difference is there? Alternatively, she's going to change her name to Garbo and 'just want to be left alone.' Either way, she's not quite right in the head.

Professor Chaos said...

Supporting the troops! Damn, I can't believe I missed that one!

Unknown said...

She wants the Navy seals to chopper into her compound and discover her porn collection...

Anonymous said...

I am confused--is she hiding from the Pakistanis or the Arizonans? How will the news media find her in this secret location?

Joe H.
Stevensville, MD

Blueberry said...

Sarahzona! Another reason added onto the pile of reasons I don't want to visit AZ again.