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Thursday, January 17, 2013

Things that can't possibly end well.

Nutsos are building their own communities, walled-off sanctuaries from the unpleasantries of modern life like facts, information, civilization, etc. Oh, and they're going to be heavily armed, in case you were wondering.

So, what would life be like in one of these communities? Let's have a look, shall we?

the CitadelThis is the Citadel.

Not to be confused with the military college in South Carolina, this Citadel is more like the town of Woodbury in the Walking Dead. For example, as of now, neither actually exists.


castle tower The Citadel is evolving as a planned community where residents are bound together by:

  • Patriotism
  • Pride in American Exceptionalism
  • Our proud history of Liberty as defined by our Founding Fathers, and
  • Physical preparedness to survive and prevail in the face of natural catastrophes — such as Hurricanes Sandy or Katrina — or man-made catastrophes such as a power grid failure or economic collapse.

So, basically, a big group of jerks?

 DESCRIPTION: The Citadel Community will house between 3,500 and 7,000 patriotic American families who agree that being prepared for the emergencies of life and being proficient with the American icon of Liberty — the Rifle — are prudent measures. 

So everyone's toting around rifles. What could possibly go wrong?

 LOCATION: We are in the process of selecting the ideal location among the beautiful mountains of Idaho in the American Redoubt.

Yeah, I didn't know what that meant either. Apparently "The American Redoubt" is how militia/survivalist types refer to the  Idaho/Montana/Wyoming area, because probably they think that Deadwood was a documentary about the  present-day Mountain West.

Kim Murphy, a reporter for The Los Angeles Times summed up one motivation for the movement: "For a growing number of people, it's the designated point of retreat when the American economy hits the fan. When banks fail, the government declares martial law, the power grid goes down."[5]

No credit check. No background check. Zero down payment. Zero interest. Zero property taxes. There will be no HOA. There will be no recycling police and no local ordinance enforcers from City Hall.

So, basically FREEDOMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!
No taxes, no HOAs, so no one's financing any kind of local government. Sounds like some kind of Utopian hippie commune, except with guns. Lots and lots of guns.

 HOUSING DETAILS: All homes will be built of poured concrete for exceptional strength and durability.
So, basically, bunkers.

 Oh, and there's a "Patriot Agreement" everyone has to sign. You can see the whole thing here, if you're interested.  Here are a couple of highlights:

Two: Every able-bodied Patriot aged 13 and older governed by this Agreement shall annually demonstrate proficiency with the rifle of his/her choice by hitting a man-sized steel target at 100 yards with open sights at the Citadel range. Each Resident shall have 10 shots and must hit the target at least 7 times.
Three: Every able-bodied Patriot aged 13 and older governed by this Agreement shall annually demonstrate proficiency with a handgun of choice by hitting a man-sized steel target at 25 yards with open sights at the Citadel range. Each Resident shall have 10 shots and must hit the target at least 7 times.

 That is weirdly specific, and with no way of financing local government, I don't know who's going to enforce these rules.

Four: Every able-bodied Patriot of age within the Citadel will maintain one AR15 variant in 5.56mm NATO, at least 5 magazines and 1,000 rounds of ammunition. The responsibility for maintaining functional arms and ammunition levels for every member of the household shall fall to the head of household. 

Hmm, huge ammounts of ammunition combined with patriarchy? Where do I sign up?

Five: Every household within the Citadel will remain stocked with sufficient food, water, and other preparedness essentials (to be detailed elsewhere) to sustain the needs for every member of the household for a duration of one year.

Because if we can stay hidden for a full year, eventually the black helicopters will give up and look elsewhere.
Eight: All Patriots, who are of age and are not legally restricted from bearing firearms, shall agree to remain armed with a loaded sidearm whenever visiting the Citadel Town Center. Firearm shall be on-the-person and under the control of the Resident, not merely stored in a vehicle. 

Oh, my God, it's Dodge City. Not the real Dodge City where visitors had to check their firearms at the Sheriff's Office and retrieve them when they left, but the constant shootout-riddled Dodge City of the movies.

With any luck, this could be us in a few years!

Nine: Each household will provide ONE able-bodied Patriot (aged 13 or older) who shall muster one Saturday per month for Martial/Support Training for neighborhood-level training & musters, as set forth by the Militia Commanders of the Community.

Anyway, it goes on and on like this, just textbook paranoia type nonsense. One would think that they would have trouble attracting applicants, but according to their website:
Even before unveiling our national advertising campaign, more than 200 families reserved space within our community!
Also, according to their website:
The Citadel is not profit-driven. The Citadel is Liberty-driven: specifically Thomas Jefferson's Rightful Liberty. 

But you know what definitely is profit-driven?


Or whatever he's calling it. (From Beck's stupid website)

Glenn unveils his most ambitious and visionary dream: Independence

Thursday, Jan 10, 2013

Yes, Independence USA, Glenn Beck's answer to Disneyland! No, seriously!

The ambitious project, projected to cost over two billion dollars, has been heavily influenced by Walt Disney.

Thank God Walt's not around to see what he has spawned!

As Glenn has been explaining throughout the week, Disneyland was originally intended to be a place where people would find happiness, inspiration, courage and hope. Over time, Walt Disney’s original vision has been lost. While hundreds of thousands still flock to the town, it’s become commercialized and the big dreams and the heart have been compromised. 

Right. Disneyland was never envisioned as a money-making venture! It was a labor of purest altruism! By the way, Glenn, since when do you Ayn Rand disciples object to things being "commercialized?" And since when do you admire people who selflessly try to inspire people and spread happiness?


 While Independence is very much a dream at this point, the proposed city-theme park hybrid would bring several of Glenn’s seemingly disconnected projects into one place. Media, live events, small business stores, educational projects, charity, entertainment, news, information, and technology R&D – all of these things would have a home in Independence. 

As would paranoia, stupidity, historical revisionism, and grifting, grifting, grifting!

 You want an Ann Taylor, go some place else… This is where people work and create their own businesses, quintessentially American businesses.

Yeah, fuck you, Ann Taylor, founded in New Haven, Connecticut by the son of a dressmaker! We want American businesses!

  Anyway, there's a bunch more at his awful website, or there's a good summary here, if you're interested, but suffice it to say, there's no way either of these little communities end well.


jadedj said...

As to the first fine idea: hell stinkin' stinkin' stinkin', er...wait, wait...that there "Patriot Agreement", uh, ain't that like, you know...rules...which will have to be enforced by...officals, eelected or otherwise?

Independence USA: "While Independence is very much a dream at this point..."should read, "...Glenn Beck's WET DREAM at this point".

Brewella Deville said...

Competition for the title of village idiot is going to be fierce in Beck's Moronica.

This will end up like most other real estate scams. A few concrete slabs will be poured, a few idiots will shell out their deposits, and lawsuits will be filed by the hundreds when the entire enterprise swirls down the crapper.