Thursday, January 23, 2014

Crazy Candidate of the Day

Today's crazy candidate:  Illinois' Susanne Atanus.





She looks pleasant enough. . .

Like most candidates, Susanne has a website.
According to ABC, it is  www.atanusforuscongress.com
If you click on the link to her website, you get this:


Atanusforuscongress.com

Related Links





So, that's pretty promising!

Although, it's probably better that her real website doesn't come up, because then you might get your brain assaulted by shit like this:

Chicago GOP hopeful: Autism and dementia are God’s punishments for LGBT rights





Yeah, apparently she is!

Candidate Susanne Atanus believes that autism and forms of dementia are punishments sent by God because of the growing support for marriage equality in the country and the prevalence of abortion.



Because no one ever suffered from dementia before Roe?

“I am a conservative Republican and I believe in God first,” Atanus said at an endorsement session with the Daily Herald on Monday. God controls the weather, she said, and tornadoes are evidence of his wrath.


Which is why they always hit those atheist strongholds like Kansas and Oklahoma! You never see a tornado spinning down Castro Street, or knocking down Planned Parenthood Headquarters.

“God is angry. We are provoking him with abortions and same-sex marriage and civil unions,” she said. “Same-sex activity is going to increase AIDS. If it’s in our military it will weaken our military. We need to respect God.”



If elected, Atanus is expected to propose throwing virgins into volcanoes to appease the fire gods and poking pins into dolls made to look like our geopolitical enemies.

3 comments:

Debra She Who Seeks said...

I think you spelled her name wrong. Isn't it "Ananus"?

Professor Chaos said...

Damn! I should've thought of that!

Who you callin' housewife? said...

Atanus, Limbaugh, Huckabee, etc., all sent here by God to punish us because we are not using our brains properly.