Apparently, there is a thing now called "rolling coal" or "coal-rolling" or "being a huge festering pile of dicks."
Rolling Coal: Conservatives ‘screw’ Obama by modifying trucks to spew toxic black smoke
The way it works is this:
Let's say you were a rage-fueled, cro-magnon manchild with serious psychological problems based largely on small penis size. And let's say you're in your giant truck, just drivin' around over-compensating when you see some nerd driving a Prius or riding a bicycle.
Now, granted, this nerd isn't bothering you, he isn't causing you any harm. He isn't forcing you to drive a nerd-mobile or ride a nerdcycle, but still. . . you'd just really like to stick it to this nerd for being such a goddamm nerd all the time, caring about the environment and what-not. (Or maybe just trying to save a little money at the gas pump or get a little exercise, or whatever these nerds are into)
What can you do?
Well, now you can modify your truck so blow great billowing clouds of toxins into the air. The air that this guy has to breathe, ha ha! And. . . um. . . also. . . you. . . have. . . to . . . breathe. . . oh. But anyway, that'll sure show him!
I mean, it's one thing to cut iff your nose to spite your face, but these guys are cutting off their own noses and the other guys' noses and everyone else's noses to spite the President's face. That is a spectacular bit of assholery!
Conservatives who detest President Barack Obama and EPA clean air regulations are modifying their vehicles to purposefully spew black smoke into the atmosphere.
So-called “coal rollers” install smoke stacks and special equipment in their diesel trucks that makes the engine think that it needs more fuel, resulting in plumes of black smoke.
According to Slate’s Dave Weigel, the phenomenon is not new, but it is becoming more popular among conservatives who want to protest the president and his efforts to clean up the environment.
Because, fuck yeah! Who the fuck wants breathable air?
Someone once joked that if President Obama came out in favor of oxygen, conservatives would all suffocate themselves. That joke wasn't all that far off, apparently.
“I run into a lot of people that really don’t like Obama at all,” a smoke stack seller in Wisconsin told Weigel. “If he’s into the environment, if he’s into this or that, we’re not. I hear a lot of that.”
Hey, fellas. The President is also really really into eating food and reproducing!
“To get a single stack on my truck—that’s my way of giving them the finger,” he added. “You want clean air and a tiny carbon footprint? Well, screw you.”
And sure, that finger is also jammed into my own eye, but it's totally worth it to make a gesture that the dang president will never see or probably even hear about. Take that, O'Bummer!
In June, Vocativ reported on the trend of “coal rollers” using their toxic exhaust as revenge against “nature nuffies” who drive environmentally friendly cars, like the Toyota Prius.
Why in the hell would you think you need to take "revenge" against someone who, um . . . drives a car? Pretty sure these people don't understand what the word "revenge" means. Or pretty much any other word.
“The feeling around here is that everyone who drives a small car is a liberal,” a South Carolina truck owner named Ryan explained. “I rolled coal on a Prius once just because they were tailing me.”
Oh, wait. That son of a bitch was driving behind you? Oh, well then he was obviously asking for it.
“It’s bad for the environment. That’s definitely true,” he admitted. “And some of the kids that have diesel trucks can look like tools. And you can cause a wreck, but everything else about it is pretty good.”
Sure, there's death and sickness and horrible suffering, but everything else about the plague is pretty good!
The Clean Air Task Force estimates that pollutants from diesel vehicles “lead to 21,000 premature deaths each year and create a cancer risk that is seven times greater than the combined risk of all 181 other air toxics tracked by the EPA.
Ha! Take that, NoBama!
Maybe next time you'll think about that next time you try to "clean up" the "air!"
Oh, and apparently, these assholes are paying up to $5,000 to be able to make their "statement," and there's apparently no law against it, even though I once got a ticket for excessive exhaust because I was poor and drove a beat-up old car, but that was years ago, and it was in California, so maybe things are different out here in "Real America."
Is it wrong to wish emphysema on these fucktards? 'Cuz I kinda wish they would get emphysema.
Yeah, probably wrong.