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Wednesday, September 23, 2015

Awkward Moments

I heard a few minutes of the most recent Republican debate on the Majority Report's MST-style coverage. There wasn't a whole lot of interest, unless you enjoy hearing Jeb! and the others pushed into their lockers and given wedgies by Donald Trump. But I did enjoy this awkward moment from hillbilly Elmer Gantry Mike Huckabee's opening statement.

 I'm Mike Huckabee. I'm delighted to be on this stage with some remarkable fellow Republicans.

None of us are a self-professed socialist.

 Oh, you know he thinks he just zinged Bernie Sanders! Like ooh, what a sick burn! You do know what "self-professed" means, right Cletus? It means he's not embarrassed or ashamed or whatever of being a socialist. It means he refers to himself that way. You're not insulting him. It's like calling me "incredibly handsome" and expecting me to hang my head in shame. But I'm not offended, I would say "yes, I know. I say that to myself in the mirror every day."
 Like this, only handsomer.

But that wasn't even the awkward part. I mean, sure it was awkward, but then came this:

 None of us on this state are under investigation . . .

 Then there's this awkward little pause when he realizes that Chris Christie and Scott Walker are on stage with him.

. . .by the FBI . . .
Um. . .

because we destroyed government records, or because we leaked secrets.

 I think I handled that pret-ty well!

Marco Rubio tried the self-effacing humor route:

Thank you. My name is Marco Rubio. I'm from Florida. . .  And I'm also aware that California has a drought, and so that's why I made sure I brought my own water.

Now the CNN Transcript says (Laughter) but that is a lie. That joke fell flatter than a Polish joke at a Polish funeral.

 John Kasich decide to go with Plain-style babbling:

GOV. JOHN R. KASICH, R-OHIO: Hello, I'm John Kasich, the Governor of Ohio. Emma, and Reese, my children, and Karen, love 'ya girls. Thanks for watching tonight.

By the way, I think I actually flew on this plane with Ronald Reagan when I was a congressman, and his goals, and mine, really much - are pretty much the same. Lift Americans, unify, give hope, grow America, and restore it is to that great, shining city on a hill.

Yes, he was a great one, and I learned much from watching him. The most important thing, hope to Americans, unify, lift everyone in America.


jadedj said...

What's to say. They speak for themselves...with feet in mouths. I'm pretty much sick of the whole gaggle. How many more months of this shit?

Margaret Benbow said...

Scott Walker has just dragged his sick humiliated sorry-butt-under-
investigation self back to our state. We feel the national stage
should have had to put up with him a little longer. For us it's been
four years.