Monday, January 30, 2017

So everything is just insane now.




Soulless Trump flack Kellyanne Conway was apparently upset at the media.
I know, a dishonest right-wing hack upset at the media? Who'da thunk it?

http://www.theblaze.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/Screen-Shot-2016-10-27-at-10.39.55-PM.jpg



I went on three network shows and spoke for 35 minutes on three network Sunday shows. You know what got picked? The fact that I said ‘alternative facts,’ not the fact that I ripped a new one to some of those hosts that they never cover the facts that matter.





Yeah, it's like think of all the times I didn't say "fuck" in Church.
But the one time I shout out "Halle-fuckin-lujah," and that's all anyone remembers from the whole Christmas pageant!

Yeah, Kellyanne. The one thing that everyone remembers from your appearances on TV was your stunningly amoral defense of lying. No one found your ten millionth chorus of "blame the media" to be all that memorable. Quell surprise!

Then she really starts to go off the rails




Not one network person has been let go. Not one silly political analyst and pundit who talked smack all day long about Donald Trump has been let go. They are panels every Sunday, they are on cable news every day.
Who is the first editorial writer? Who is the first blogger that will be left out, that embarrassed him at outlets. We know their names. I’m too polite to mention their names, but they know who they are, and they are all wondering who will be the first to go. The election was three months ago. None of them have been let go.




Okay, here's a better question Why haven't any of the pundits, columnists and various talking heads who predicted a quick and easy victory in Iraq been fired? Why do they still get to be on every show every day? The quagmire should have been easy to predict. In fact, many did predict just that, but they weren't welcome on TV then, and they still aren't because there is no punishment for being wrong and no reward for being right.
That should really be a much bigger concern if you actually do give a crap about media integrity or whatever it is you're pretending to care about. 
 Failing to predict Il Douche's victory is a bit different, considering how improbable that victory was. Firing journalists for getting this one wrong would be like firing sportswriters for failing to predict Villanova's win over Georgetown in 1985.

What you seem to be angry about is that journalists had enough misplaced faith in the American electorate as to assume that they would never elect an unqualified, unstable buffoon of a fascist to the highest office in the land. I think we can cut them a bit of slack on that one. Especially as long as Bill Kristol is still employed.





If the mainstream media were a thriving private sector business that actually turned a profit, which is not true of many newspapers, 20% of the people would be gone. They embarrassed, they failed to protect their shareholders and the board members and their colleagues.



https://31.media.tumblr.com/a3012708cef6535c7bee1d601ae231df/tumblr_inline_nchzepgFti1rkde24.gif



 Um. . . none of that makes sense? How did they fail to protect all those people? Never mind, you were on a roll. A manic, demented roll. Don't let me stop you.





And yet we deal with him every single day. We turn the other cheek. If you are part of team Trump, you walk around with these gaping, seeping wounds every day, that’s fine. I’m here every Sunday morning. I haven’t slept in in a month.


Oh My Gawd! Okay, that may be the first true thing I've ever heard you say, that you haven't slept in a month. Speed kills, Kellyanne!

http://wvut.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/meth-slogan-not-even-once.jpg

The rest of that paragraph, though. . . hoo boy!
First of all who is this "him" that you deal with every day?


https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/77/81/14/7781141ba4ac9ea042d3161df7b2b9bc.jpg
Probably



And when has anyone on "team trump" ever turned the other cheek? Do you even know what that expression means?
And the gaping seeping wounds you have, those are called "witch's teats." They're what you get when you sleep with the Devil.

http://68.media.tumblr.com/361a8d26e2d24f92d3a427cc3932c117/tumblr_inline_morr2hbxjM1qz4rgp.gif





Insane example # 2:

Orange Julius Caesar has an insane piece of insane anecdotal evidence to back up his insane claims about voter fraud.




WASHINGTON — On Monday, President Trump gathered House and Senate leaders in the State Dining Room for a get-to-know-you reception, served them tiny meatballs and pigs-in-a-blanket, and quickly launched into a story meant to illustrate what he believes to be rampant, unchecked voter fraud.

Mr. Trump said he was told a story by “the very famous golfer, Bernhard Langer,” whom he described as a friend, according to three staff members who were in the room for the meeting.




I don't know how famous this Langer is, I had never heard of him before this.




The witnesses described the story this way: Mr. Langer, a 59-year-old native of Bavaria, Germany — a winner of the Masters twice and of more than 100 events on major professional golf tours around the world — was standing in line at a polling place near his home in Florida on Election Day, the president explained, when an official informed Mr. Langer he would not be able to vote.



Okay, so a German citizen was told that he could not vote in an American election. If this story were true, which it obviously isn't, that would be a good indicator that the system works and those attempting to vote illegally are rebuffed.

 Now, the story is just started and I already know it's not true because they wouldn't come up to this guy while he's in line and tell him that he can't vote. If he was going to be told he can't vote, it would happen when he got to the front of the line where he would have to fill out a form and show ID. No election official is going to look at a potential voter waiting in line, say "hmm, something's hinky here, I smell sauerkraut," and just walk up  to him and say "nice try, Fritz, but you can tell the Kaiser that we're a little too smart for him down in Florida!"


https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/c0/cb/aa/c0cbaa35e7b6e37e46db7dfaf73acb2f.jpg

Gottverdamt! How did he know?




Ahead of and behind Mr. Langer were voters who did not look as if they should be allowed to vote, Mr. Trump said, according to the staff members — but they were nonetheless permitted to cast provisional ballots.




"Did not look like they should be allowed to vote? What even does that mean, he asked as if he didn't know that meant brown skin.
 Also, if you know anything about how elections work - and obviously, Hair Furor does not -  you would know that provisional ballots are never ever ever counted. Theoretically they could be under the right circumstances, but in real life they never are. If these fraudulent Hispanic voters were given provisional ballots, that's the poll workers' way of getting them to leave without making a scene. They were not actually casting their votes.

But somehow in Cheeto Mussolini's mind, this is proof positive that foreigners, the wrong kind of foreigners, mind you, not the good Germanic kind, are being allowed ton such large numbers that they swayed the popular vote so. . . um. . . I don't know the guy's fucking crazy.


http://vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/glee/images/7/72/Gone_crazy.gif/revision/latest?cb=20120420153255


Oh, and the Times was not able to get ahold of Langer, but they did talk to his daughter who had this to say about that:



“He is a citizen of Germany,” she said, when reached on her father’s cellphone. “He is not a friend of President Trump’s, and I don’t know why he would talk about him.”








3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Mate, I wouldn't want to have to turn on trump, no matter how long it took. No one ever wanted to get their job back that badly.

His name is slang for fart in Britain. PLEASE spread this.

(I am British and that is actually true.)

Professor Chaos said...

Anon - Wait, Trump is slang for fart? Why am I just hearing about this now?

Anonymous said...

It is. Ask anyone from the UK. Please spread this.


(As far as I know it's been around long before he was well known, so it's not like anyone ,"did a Santorum" on him.)