The IOC Sucks

Because they apparently don't realize how fucking cool the Canadian Women's hockey team is:

IOC to investigate Canadian women's hockey team for celebration

Come on! Are you serious?

Does this picture not make you seriously want to move to Canada?

Gilbert Felli, the IOC's executive director of the Olympic Games, said that drinking in public was "not what we want to see" from athletes at an Olympic venue. The organization will investigate the actions and will speak with the international hockey federation and Canadian Olympic Committee and ask them to "act accordingly."

Come on! This ain't figure skating. It's hockey, a rough, rowdy boisterous sport. This sort of behavior should be totally acceptable for hockey.
Plus, look how cool they look.

You wouldn't want to party with these chicks?

They just beat the rest of the world at Canada's national sport, on Canada's home ice in front of a bunch of cheering Canadians, and you're going to give them crap about celebrating?

The IOC: Taking the fun out of sports singe 1894.

New Rules for Olympics

After seeing the Russian ice dancers' take on Aboriginal folk dancing, it's clear something has to be done.

"At times, Shabalin led Domnina around by her ponytail. They mugged, stuck out their tongues and mimicked the hand over mouth gesture that was once associated with American Indians."
(Yahoo News)

And it's not like they were just somehow unaware that this was going to be offensive:

When the Russian pair did the Aboriginal dance at the European Championships in January, they drew criticism from Aboriginal leaders who found the dance and costumes offensive. Domnina and Shabalin toned down their costumes and removed their face paint, but made no changes to their Aboriginal dance.

And why do this at all? Because the ice dancing officials decided that this year's theme for the original dance was to be "folk dancing." Now one might think that the Russian pair might choose a Russian folk dance, but no. So apparently it falls to me to make new rules for future Olympians.

Rule #1: No ice dancer may ape any culture other than their own. That should have gone without saying, but apparently not, because the American pair saw "Slumdog Millionaire" and figure they knew a little something about the culture and traditions of India.



Rule #2: If you have a son and a daughter who are both into ice dancing or figure skating, you are required to make them choose other partners, because this:

is just un-fucking-acceptable.

It is not possible for John Kerr to be gay enough to make titty-humping his sister acceptable.
I won't have it.

Rule #3: Biatholon will no longer be ski, stop, shoot, ski, stop, shoot. Participants will now be required to shoot while skiing. Preferably with a gun in each hand like a John Woo Movie.



Rule #4: Ski jumpers need to do something while they are in the air. Ski jumping is insanely dangerous, but the ski jumpers make it look so easy it seems kinda boring. You're up in the air for like five fucking minutes, do a trick. Or shoot something. I don't know, do something to make us appreciate your skill.





Rule #5: During individual figure skating, all skaters are on the ice at the same time. They should be knocking each other over like Battling Tops.



If it's good enough for short track, it's good enough for figure skating.

Lindsey Vonn uses UVEX ski goggles.

For the back story, see: http://monkeymucker.blogspot.com/2010/02/ioc-can-suck-it.html

Olympic gold medalist Lindsey Vonn uses Uvex ski goggles. She used them when she won both gold and bronze at the 21st winter Olympic games in Vancouver.

Pass on this information to everyone you know. Put it on the Facebook or the tweeter or the MySpace. Let's make sure everyone knows that Lindsey Vonn



Used Uvex ski goggles



when she won Olympic Medals



in the Vancouver Olyimpics.



The IOC may be able to stop UVEX from mentioning this totally true fact in their ads, but what are they going to do, sue me?

Really? They would?

Oh, shit!

I mean, bring it on!

Way to blow the Olympics, Mr. President!

So, I keep hearing that Rio being chosen over Chicago as the host for the 2016 Olympics is tantamount to the world's rejection of Barack Obama.

Rio chosen over Chicago, hmmm. . .

Yes, clearly this is a repudiation of president Obama, what other reason could there be for the memebers of the IOC to choose Rio

over Chicago?




Hmmm. . . What does Rio have





















that Chicago doesn't?

















Tough call!






Chicago. . .


















. . .Rio



















Famous Chicagoan. . .
















. . . famous Rioan




















Chicago's main export . . .



















. . . Rio's main export.
















yeah, it's a puzzle all right. I guess there's no one to blame but President Obama. Way to go, Mr. President! You blew it!