MERRY CRIPSMAS!

Oh, God. I'm a dead man, aren't I?

Terrible Marketing Campaigns - Pistachios

What is the thinking behind this campaign? Are they trying to get us to stop eating their product? What other reason could there be for assembling this collection of the most loathsome creeps in America? I half suspect that these ads are actually produced by the almond people or cashew people with the intent of creating a psychological linkage between the pistachio and this rogues' gallery of lowlifes.



I mean really, Levi Johnston? The man whose very existence seems to be a ploy to make the Palin family seem sympathetic by comparison? A man who is known for only one accomplishment, which was impregnating an underage girl then deserting her? Which, to be fair, is one more accomplishment than this person:



The fact that "Snookie" has touched a pistachio with her bare hands makes me leery of touching any of them lest it be the one she has handled. Is this campaign really working?

And then of course, there is the man who knows no shame.



What the hell? Why would you want a sleazy criminal endorsing your product? How is this supposed to make your product seem appealing? Rod Blagojevich? What the hell? Was Tom DeLay unavailable? You couldn't get "Duke" Cunningham? Cheney not returning your calls? You couldn't find anyone with less dignity than Blagojevitch? Oh, you did?



God, that's just depressing. Miss teen Carolina trying to make a career out of having her IQ mocked. Gee, let's see, I've humiliated myself on TV, the entire internet is mocking me because they think I'm a moron, how should I handle this situation? Maybe I could do something to prove that I actually am an intelligent person. . .no, maybe I'll just start acting stupid on purpose and get paid for being ridiculed!
How am I supposed to get a hankering for your product when I'm just feeling sorry for your spokeswoman?
The whole campaign is just depressing.

Isn't the idea of "celebrity" endorsements supposed to be that on some level the viewer will associate the product with the movie star or athlete or whatever and subconsciously start to think that buying the product will make him in some way similar to the admired person? That's why it's usually someone like Micheal Jordan or Peyton Manning in this type of ad. Is there really a demographic out there who admires any of these people? And do they buy nuts by the truckload? Because otherwise, this whole campaign just doesn't make a bit of sense.

Kim Kardashian Reaches a New Level of Shamelessness.

It was once said of someone that "She would go to the opening of an envelope." That used to be the standard for someone being a pathetic publicity whore. Now, thanks to Kim Kardashian, we have a new, lower, standard.

(via The Superficial)

 

Yeah, she's cutting the ribbon at the grand opening of a public toilet.

Today, Procter & Gamble (NYSE: PG) Charmin® Restrooms return to Times Square for the fifth consecutive year, giving holiday visitors and local New Yorkers a free, clean and family-friendly place to “enjoy the go” during this busy time of year. To launch the 2010 Restrooms, Charmin is calling on one of the newest New Yorkers, Kim Kardashian, to reveal its new location at 142 West 42nd Street, and this year’s themed bathroom stalls representing iconic U.S. locations, as part of the first-ever Charmin Go Nation national competition.

I don't know what's worse, the fact that Charmin is having a grand opening for a toilet, or that they use the phrase "enjoy the go." That is just horrible. Just really awful. And then what sort of competition are they having? No, wait. I don't want to know. 

“With my recent transition to New York, I’ve been checking out all the gifts the City has to offer visitors and New Yorkers alike,” says Kardashian. “During the holiday shopping season, I’m happy to join Charmin as they give the gift of the Restrooms near Times Square.”

"Also, I have no shame and not a spec of dignity!" she might as well have added. "Are people looking at me? LOOK AT ME!!!!! TALK ABOUT ME!!!! PAY ATTENTION TO ME!!!!!" she practically continued. "How many times do I have to humiliate myself in public before you like me?"

 

How about now? Are people talking about me now? I'm practically committing statutory rape here, people!

 

How about now?

Now?

 

Oh my gosh, quit looking at my big butt! 

 

I'm serious, you guys! Quit looking at my butt!

 

Seriously, stop! Heeheeeheeeheee!

 

Hooray! I'm Famous!

This is who they are

This is who Joe Barton is, or who he would like to be.

Joe Barton put together a Powerpoint slideshow to e-mail to his colleagues in the House laying out his case for why he should be the next chairman of the Energy and Commerce Committee, because what better way to decide who to put in charge of important government things than a Powerpoint slideshow? Here's one of his slides:

 

  

That's it. That's all he's got. ". . . put anything in my scope and I will shoot it." All he can promise is to destroy. He has no ideas of his own. He just wants to destroy any accomplishments of the guys on the other side. These guys are like teenage anarchists destroying for the sheer joy of destruction. They have no interest in actually governing. They have made it quite clear that they don't believe in government. And yet, a large number of people apparently think that it's a good idea to have the government run by anti-government ideologues. It's like putting a Klansman in charge of the NAACP. It just makes no fucking sense. It's like putting Richard Simmons in charge of a bakery. Or making Madeleine Murray O'Hare  the next pope.

This is who they are:

GOP says it'll block bills until tax cuts extended

Senate Republicans threatened Wednesday to block virtually all legislation until expiring tax cuts are extended 

Like children throwing a tantrum, they will not let the grownups do anything until they get what they want, and they don't give a damn whether we cab afford it. They want their tax cuts, they want their tax cuts now, they want their tax cuts for all eternity, for ever and ever amen and deficit be damned! Oh, they'll be the first ones to cry and wail about the deficit. Once they get  their tax cuts, then the deficit will suddenly become important again, but right now they have the opportunity to cut into the deficit simply by doing nothing and they would rather hold every piece of legislation hostage in service to tax cuts for the top 2%. They don't care. They do not care if the country goes bankrupt, they don't care if we can't fix roads and bridges or we can't have decent schools or libraries, they do not care. They know what they want and that is all that matters to them. They are spoiled greedy nasty children. This is who they are.

P.S. I gotta think Eisenhower must be spinning in his grave right about now.

Latest Discoveries

 From the fertile musical soil of Atlanta, GA come these new musical discoveries.

1) We saw these guys at the Little 5 Points Halloween Parade/Festival. I looooooooooved 'em. They're sort of a jug-band / psychobilly mix, I guess? Anyway, their name is Uncle Daddy & The Kissin' Cousins. Check 'em out:


2-muleskinner blues from rob downs on Vimeo.


1-moonshine from rob downs on Vimeo.

2) Our scooter club rode behind these guys in the parade. They kept us entertained and we did our best to dance while riding scooters. They're called Mermaids:


Mermaids - "Whirlpool" from Alex Adan on Vimeo.

Find more artists like Mermaids at Myspace Music

when we saw them, they had a Theremin player which was pretty cool.

3) This guy I just happened to hear on the radio on the way home from work. This is Tyler Lyle:

Find more artists like Tyler Lyle at Myspace Music

4) These guys are actually from Athens, GA, but they spend a fair amount of time in ATL, and they've been getting a lot of buzz lately, so here are Modern Skirts: