Now This Takes Some Freakin' Balls!

Mon Apr 4, 11:22 am ET

Transocean awards safety bonuses to execs

 I'm sorry, what kind of bonuses?

. . . executives at Transocean—which owned the Deepwater Horizon platform  that blew up and claimed the lives of 11 oil workers while touching off the BP oil spill—are collecting safety bonuses for their performance in 2010.

Safety? But what about the whole Gulf thing? With the 11 people killed? And all the oil in the water?

While noting "the tragic loss of life" in the incident that led to last summer's Gulf disaster, the company said in a regulatory filing that it would pay two-thirds of a possible safety bonus to senior managers because—outside of the Deepwater Horizon explosion—the company's 2010 safety record was "exemplary," claiming it was "the best year in safety performance in our company's history."

The best year in company history, other than the biggest oil spill in US history?

That's like saying Bush did a great job on security, except for 9/11.

I know. I know, people really do say that.

Other bonuses given out include:

To Charlie Sheen for most sober year in Hollywood history.

 

To Rutgers University for best year booking guest speakers.

Brendan McDermid  /  REUTERS

Reality TV star Nicole 'Snooki' Polizzi earned $32,000 to speak at Rutgers University recently, $2,000 more than Nobel Prize winning author Toni Morrison will receive to speak at the school's graduation.

And the award for mother of the year goes to. . .  

. . . This Lady!

Beauty Pageant Mother Injects 8-Year-Old Daughter with Botox and Takes Her Waxing.

 According to The Sun, "beauty-pageant obsessed single mum" Kerry Campbell gifted her daughter Britney with Botox injections for her eighth birthday last year. Botox injections are now a regular part of Britney's beauty regime – once every three months – which also includes waxing.

 "I know one day she [Britney] will be a model, actress or singer, and having these treatments now will ensure she stays looking younger and baby-faced for longer."

 "My friends think it's cool I have all the treatments and they want to be like me, says Britney. "I check every night for wrinkles, when I see some I want more injections. They used to hurt, but now I don't cry that much…I also want a boob and nose job soon, so that I can be a star."

Gohmert Stakes His Claim to the Title "Craziest Member of Congress."

I don't know what's crazier, the idea that Obama has some secret officer corps or whatever that he can call up at a moment's notice, or the thought that the President of the United States would intentionally deplete the military in order to acheive some sort of vague but nefarious goal. Either way, ball's in your court, Bachmann!

Seriously, though, there is something horribly wrong with this country if people like Gohmert and Bachmann can keep getting elected. People who seemingly go out of their way to show themselves as mentally unstable should not be put into any position of responsibility. I wouldn't hire one of these nutbags to manage a Starbucks, let alone be an important part of the Federal Government. How can this happen? Aren't their constituents embarrassed every time they see their representative on TV? How do you have a discussion about any subject with someone from another district without that person throwing "yeah, well at least we aren't represented in Congress by Louie Gohmert" in your face? How do you look at yourself in the mirror knowing that you voted to put a lunatic like Bachmann in a position of importance in the government of the good old U S of A?

Someday, when historians are analyzing the collapse of the U.S. they will look at clips like this one and ask "what the hell made people think that they should choose paranoid crackpots to be their leaders?" and surmise that we all must have fallen under the spell of some doomsday death cult or something that made us wish for our own destruction.

Um, I'll Take Your Word For It

Teabaggers In Action - Volume Three

Today's teabagger is South Carolina Governor Nikki Haley:

 
Seen here practicing her "adorable child" look.

Firswt of all, she spells her name "Nikki." Generally, that spelling is reserved for sex industry workers and the  bass player of Motley Crue.



But that's not the real issue. I'm pretty sure spelling doesn't count for much in South Carolina conservative circles.

But here's a fun story about Gov. Haley:

Gov. Nikki Haley replaces Darla Moore

I know, I know, who's Darla Moore?

Well, up until recently she was a member of the board of trustees for the University of South Carolina.
Go, Cocks!



Not only was she a member of the board, she was also a major patron of the school. In fact, their business school is named the Darla Moore School of Business. So, it's probably safe to say she was comitted to the University and felt pretty passionately about it.

But don't take my word for it:

Miles Loadholt, chairman of the board, said Moore's contributions to the university have been priceless.

"The importance of Darla Moore's philanthropy cannot be overestimated," he said in a statement. "Her constant push for excellence not only at a state level, but in a global context, will be a standing legacy and among her many contributions to the university."

 

 So why replace her? Well, there are two reasons. The first is that Ms. Moore hurt the governor's wittle feelings. (sideways frowny-face)
 

 

As Haley explains events, Moore lost her seat basically because she didn’t express sufficient interest in keeping it. She didn’t return Haley’s calls, as the governor tells it, and when Haley tried to meet with Moore, there was a three-week wait.



The governor told me she couldn’t wait. She has only one voting member on the board and, says Haley, “I have to pick one who will report to me and return my calls.” (source)

 

How very mature of you, Madame Governor!

The second reason? To reward a campaign donor.

Haley tapped Lexington lawyer Tommy Cofield to replace Moore,
Cofield and his sister Amy Cofield donated a combined $9,000 to Haley's gubernatorial campaign, according to the State Ethics Commission. (source)

So, sure it's fine to be an extremely generous donor and an asset to the University for over a decade, but how does that enrich me personally?
 
So much for the teabaggers getting in there and cleaning out corruption, eh?
 
By the way, here is Ms. Moore's response to her removal:
 

Her response to Haley’s insult was to offer the university another $5 million for an aerospace research center to be named for fellow Lake City star Ronald McNair, an African American astronaut who died in the Challenger explosion in 1986.

Yeah, I could see where you'd feel like you needed to get rid of her!

Nice work, South Carolina Teabaggers!



Lazy Reposting

from Crooks & Liars:

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March 31, 2011 10:00 AM

The video the Wisconsin GOP doesn't want you to see! - *gasp*



.This complete video, once on YouTube and then on the Talking Points Memo website, has been yanked from both, simply because of the heat a rookie republican congressman (and former reality tv star) got for daring to mention he's having trouble getting by on "only" $174,000, partly due to higher health care costs because of worse federal coverage than he was used to from Wisconsin as a District Attorney.



Evan McMorris-Santoro at TPM details the farce controversy.



GOPers Demand Sean Duffy Salary Tape Be Pulled From The Internet



First the Republican Party in Polk County, Wisconsin, pulled the tape of Rep. Sean Duffy (R-WI) fretting about making ends meet on his $174,000 a year salary from its own website. Now they want it gone from the whole Internet.



For a couple hours, the local county GOP was successful. But we've put an excerpt of the video back up.



A day after TPM posted the video we obtained of Duffy talking about his salary at a Polk County town hall meeting earlier this year, the Polk County GOP contacted the video provider we used to host the video, Blip.tv, and demanded the video be taken down.



The tape caused a stir for Duffy, a first-term conservative best known for his past as a reality TV show star on MTV's The Real World. Democrats flagged the comments about his taxpayer-funded salary (which is nearly three times the median income in Wisconsin) and criticisms began to flow Duffy's way.



In the clip, Duffy is asked whether he'd support cutting his own salary. Duffy says he would, but only as part of a plan where all public employees' salaries would be cut. He then said that the $174,000 in salary (not including benefits) he receives is a squeeze for his family of seven to live on:



I can guarantee you, or most of you, I guarantee that I have more debt than all of you. With 6 kids, I still pay off my student loans. I still pay my mortgage. I drive a used minivan. If you think I'm living high on the hog, I've got one paycheck. So I struggle to meet my bills right now. Would it be easier for me if I get more paychecks? Maybe, but at this point I'm not living high on the hog.



No doubt Crooks and Liars will receive a similarly sternly worded cease-and-desist letter, and the clip will be pulled from here also. But for now, here is the clip the Wisconsin GOP are so scared of being seen. (Can this story get any more pathetic?)



Tags: Polk County, Rep. Sean Duffy, Republican Party, Wisconsin