Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Coal Mining Tragedy

The tragic accident in the Massey coal mine in West Virginia was sadly predictable and preventable.
The Massey Coal Mining Company has long flouted safety regulations nad gotten away with it. And now at least 25 miners are dead due to the company's negligence and indifference to human lives.

From the Washington Post:

Massey has frequently been cited for safety violations, including about 50 citations at the Upper Big Branch mine in March alone. Many of those 50 citations were for poor ventilation of dust and methane, failure to maintain proper escape ways, and the accumulation of combustible materials.


The U.S. Mine Safety and Health Administration cited the mine for 1,342 safety violations from 2005 through Monday for a total of $1.89 million in proposed fines, according to federal records. The company has contested 422 of those violations, totaling $742,830 in proposed penalties, according to federal officials.

But the company had a litany of violations just last month at the Upper Big Branch mine, according to the U.S. Mine Safety and Health Administration Web site. In March, U.S. Mine Safety and Health Administration officials cited the mine, which is owned by Massey subsidiary Performance Coal Co., for failing to control dust; improperly planning to ventilate the mine of dust and the combustible gas methane; inadequate protection from roof falls; failing to maintain proper escapeways; and allowing the accumulation of combustible materials."


Why hasn't this ridiculously dangerous operation been shut down? Maybe because Massey CEO Don Blankenship's habit of throwing campaign money at mostly Republican candidates? Or maybe because of the general anti-regulation attitude that has infected Washington since the 1980's? The kind of attitude that leads to this kind of toothless enforcement of safety rules:

Mining companies are permitted to contest violations and proposed penalties and safety violations are not placed on a company's permanent safety record until a dispute is settled, officials said.

That's right. If you or I commit a crime, the judge hands sown a sentence. If a mining company violates the law, the U.S. Mine Safety and Health Administration proposes a penalty, and the mining company gets to contest it. And then something like this happens:

From the New York Times:

A justice of the West Virginia Supreme Court and a powerful coal-company executive met in Monte Carlo in the summer of 2006, sharing several meals even as the executive’s companies were appealing a $50 million jury verdict against them to the court.

A little more than a year later, the justice, Elliott E. Maynard, voted with the majority in a 3-to-2 decision in favor of the coal companies.

That coal-company executive mentioned in this story? Don Blankenship.

Judge of the Day: Elliott Maynard

Elliott Maynard Justice Elliott E. Maynard Don Blankenship Don L Blankenship Above the Law blog.jpg
On the left: Chief Justice Elliott E. Maynard, of West Virginia, and today’s Judge of the Day. On the right: Don L. Blankenship, chief executive of Massey Energy. The setting: exotic Monaco.


Since the Federal agencies won't do their jobs enforcing the rules, I hope the miners' families sue this son of a bitch into the poorhouse.




Monday, April 5, 2010

Sunday, April 4, 2010

A Chaos Classic

In celebration of Easter, Spring, and my laziness, I present a re-run of a post from back when no one was reading this.

The Worst Song I Heard at Work This Week

I knew I had given out the title to "life Less Ordinary" too soon! Because today I heard "And We Danced" by The Hooters, which is apparently a band made up of busty white-trash waitresses. Just take a quick gander at some of the lyrics these wordsmiths have produced:
(and yes, it took two of them to craft this gem)

She was a bebop baby on a hard day's night
She was hanging on Johnny, he was holding on tight


Bebop baby? really? What the hell does that mean? She was the daughter of Charlie Parker?

Oh, and the Beatles reference, nice! You know, it was clever when Lennon & McCartney coined the phrase "hard day's night" because no one had used it before. You're just repeating a phrase from vastly superior songwriters. No one's impressed. Ooh! maybe I'll entitle my next post "Johnny B. Goode Along the Watchtower Cries Mary!" What craftsmanship!

But hold on, it gets worse! I know! Hard to believe, right?

And we danced
Like a wave on the ocean, romanced


Ok, two things. First, "danced like a wave on the ocean." What would that even look like?


Cuz I'm picturing this:




But more importantly, there's the "romanced" thing. What, did you just tack that word on to the end of the line to make a rhyme? That's the laziest bit of songwriting I've ever seen. You couldn't come up with anything else?
Here, try this:

and we danced
like a couple of pervs with no pants.

or this:

and we danced
like a boil that needs to be lanced.

or even:

and we danced
we were both surgically enhanced.

Oh wait, one more!

and we danced
like a miniature collie from France.

Ok, that took me like five minutes, so there's no excuse for just throwing a random word on the end of the line.
What if other writers took your approach, Hooters?
just imagine. . . . . .

But soft, what light through yonder window breaks?
It is the east, and Juliet is the sun, Pancakes!

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate. Croquet!

Let me tell you about the very rich.
They are not like you and I, Bitch!

Then there's the rest of the chorus:

We were liars in love and we danced
Swept away for a moment by chance

(there, see! It's not that hard to find a legitimate rhyme)
And we danced and danced and danced

Oh, come on! Really?
You are the laziest songwriters ever.

Ooh, wait! One More!

And we danced
I had paid for her time in advance.

ok, last one

and we danced
I had borrowed a suit from Jim Nantz.

oh, I just thought of one more

and we danced
she ignored my political rants.

and we danced
to the tune of gregorian chants.

and we danced
she wanted to waltz, but I can't.

Ok, that's it.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Thanks, I Feel So Much Manlier Now!

http://images.teamsugar.com/files/upl1/1/13839/05_2009/ba5195103ded7dfd_He-Man.jpg

Did you know that there is a "Manhood Academy" on the Internet?

No? Well, you're probably a sissy-pants, that's why!

If you're a real stud-man like me, you can enter the academy here: http://blogs.warwick.ac.uk/images/topbanana/2006/02/23/village_people_macho_man.jpg


What? The Village People were totally Macho! One of them's a cowboy, for God's sake! Sheesh!

Anyway, here's what these dudes are all about:

Men around the world- Welcome aboard!

Manhood Academy is the first training and research center of its kind. Backed by a global community of men, we've worked to reestablish a healthy male culture that can effectively address its social expectations.

Sounds vaguely positive, go on.

There are too many emasculated males around the globe who don't have any resources to help them establish their lives and identities; these men don't know how to attract women. They don't know how to build male friendships. They don't know how protect their rights as men. They don't know how to stand up for themselves. They don't even know the meaning of Manhood.

AAGH!! Emascu-what now?

See, I didn't even know that my man-rights were under attack until I ran across these guys.


Anyway, here are their goals:

Expose Feminism: On the surface, feminism appears to be concerned with equal rights for women. But in reality, this dangerous social philosoophy has damaged the proper relationship structure between men and women.

They have a point. Women with rights? Sounds pretty dangerous to me. Pretty soon they'll want to drive cars and have control over their own bodies! Insanity!

Retrain men: Too many men have been emasculated by Feminism. They don't know how to lead women, socialize with other men, make decisions, meet their needs or stand up to the emasculating "bitch" behavior of dysfunctional women. By retraining men to effectively wield their authority, we hope to improve their lives and make them effective leaders.

Ack! What's with all the castration imagery? But, yeah, most men have no idea how to socialize with other men. That's why you never see a sports-themed bar or hunting / fishing supply shops anymore. Gone, all gone. Replaced by girlie places like Hooters and Cigar bars.


men doing manly things by lilfloridagirl83.

Retrain women: Too many women have been cheated by Feminism. They have been erroneously taught to compete with men by usurping male authority. This completely neglects the importance of fulfilling different gender functions. These functions are meant to complement rather than than compete with each other; men should be in charge of women as a means of caring for female needs. . .

This one actually goes on for quite a while, but I think the main point is that it's just silly to think that women could take care of their own needs. I mean, what are they going to do, get jobs? Buy their own stuff? Have satisfying non-sexual relationships with non-men? It's crazy, right?

machismo


Support male culture: Only healthy, happy, competent men are in a position to properly care for others. Yet Feminism's constant assault on male culture along with its demonizing of male sexuality and belittling of male leadership makes this virtually impossible.

You know, there's really no need to go around assaulting male culture. Just because male culture sometimes includes date rape and the occasional domestic assault, I mean come on! Boys will be boys!

http://hypescience.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/09/machismo-grande.jpg


So, anyway, to save you the trouble of clicking on to the website, I copied a list of their FAQ's and I will try to answer them myself, so you wimpy guys don't have to embarrass yourselves in front of real men.

http://www.martinfrost.ws/htmlfiles/gazette/rugby_maul.jpg

Q: Why was Manhood Academy created?

A: Duh, to get a bunch of men who are having doubts about their manliness together to do manly things like, say, wrestling.

View Image

Q: What is manhood? What's it for? Why do men even need to be aware of it?

A: What's it for? To compete with other men. To see whose manliness is bigger. Or firmer. Or more. . . um, you know, competition. Like sports!

View Image

yeah, sports!

Q: Why are you guys against Feminism? Do you hate women?

A: No, of course not! Not all women! We like the ones who will have sex with us and/or make us food! The other kind, yeah we kinda do hate them.

View Image

We don't hate these women!

Q: Why should a woman "submit" to a man? That sounds like outdated, blatant sexism?!

A: You say that like it's a bad thing!

Q: Why do you guys use misogynistic terms like "cunt" and "bitch"? Isn't that hate speech? Why resort to name-calling?

A: Um, because it's easier than coming up with well-reasoned arguments!

Q: What if I strongly disagree with something on this site? Am I allowed to respond to anything said on here?

A: Sure, queer. Go ahead and disagree, homo!

Q: I read something else that interested me, and I want to try some other method/system. Hopefully this will work better than the Manhood Academy.

A: You're gay!

Q: I'm offended by your misogynist terminology. Why do you use such hateful speech?

A: Because fuck you! What are you a girl?

View ImageAaahhh, manliness!