Glenn Beck's Delusions of Grandeur

Now Glenn Beck is saying he gets messages from God.

And he may even be serious.



Here's what he said on his radio insanity-fest:
(full transcript here)

God is giving a plan I think to me that is not really a plan. . . The problem is that I think the plan that the Lord would have us follow is hard for people to understand.

Because, you know if God had a plan he wanted people to follow, he would make it really confusing and hard to understand. So confusing that the recipient of the plan would not even be sure that it is a plan.

But I’m telling you, here’s what I feel with everything in me, and, if you’ve listened to this program for a long time, you know who I am. Um, and you know many of things I’ve done and said that have put me in, ya know, harm’s way one way or another, they always start at the same place, they always start at my gut or my heart, and then I figure it out as we go along.

Harm's way? When has Beck ever put himself in harm's way? Sounds like paranoid delusions to me.

All the stuff that I feel has been important on the show has been things that I felt
and didn’t understand.

Wow! A rare moment of honesty from Beck. He admits that even he doesn't understand his own ravings.

Because of my track record with you who have been here for a long time. Because of my track record with you, I beg of you to help me get this message out, and I beg of you to pray for clarity on my part. The plan that He would have me articulate, I think, to you is “Get behind me.” And I don’t mean me, I mean Him. “Get behind Me. Stand behind Me.”

That's it? God took the time to send a message to Crazy McCrybaby and it's "Get behind me?" That's it? Really? God wants people to stand behind him? Oh, thank goodness for Beck, because I totally thought that God wanted people to oppose and obstruct him! Now the Bible finally makes sense!

I truly believe I have done years now of reading the Founders, their diaries, their letters, the Pilgrims, their diaries, their letters.

That's not something you "truly believe." You either have spent years reading this stuff or you haven't. There's no believe.

I’ve held their letters in my hands. The exchanges between the Founders, I’ve held their actual letters in my hand. I have seen it with my own eyes — and I will tell you that God was instrumental and then [sic] knew it!

Of course, bear in mind that Glenn doesn't understand things. He must have missed this quote:

Of all the systems of religion that ever were invented, there is no more derogatory to the Almighty, more unedifiying to man, more repugnant to reason, and more contradictory to itself than this thing called Christianity.

-Thomas Paine (The Age of Reason)

Or this:

• 
  

• During almost fifteen centuries has the legal establishment of Christianity been on trial. What have been its fruits? More or less in all places, pride and indolence in the Clergy, ignorance and servility in the laity, in both, superstition, bigotry and persecution.

--James Madison

Or this:

Question with boldness even the existence of a God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason, than that of blind-folded fear.

--Thomas Jefferson

Back to Beck:

But that’s what He’s asking us to do — is to stand peacefully, quietly, with anger, quiet with anger, loudly with truth.

If there's anything God loves more than anger, it's silence!

Faith — is the answer. Get on your knees, don’t take it like a September 11th, get on your knees, please, I don’t care what church you go to, no church at all, I don’t care. Turn to Him.

But, like a week ago, you were pretty specific about what kind of churches we could go to. Now any old church will do? Even no church?

Also, I don't get the Sept. 11th reference. But then, I'm not fluent in right-wing gibberish.

If My Father in Law Worked in Advertising

A Couple of Observations About Sarah Palin

1) A Sarah Palin sentence is like an Elvis movie.

In an Elvis movie, you start with a certain number of Elvis songs, then fill in enough dialogue and action to flesh it out to movie length. Everything between the songs is just filling space until the next song comes along.

With Palin, she starts with a certain number of buzzwords, then fills the space in between with whatever random words pop into her head.

Here's an example:

"We believe that the best of America is not all in Washington, D.C. ... We believe that the best of America is in these small towns that we get to visit, and in these wonderful little pockets of what I call the real America, being here with all of you hard working very patriotic, um, very, um, pro-America areas of this great nation."

In other words:

Blah, blah, blah, REAL AMERICA, blah, blah, blah, SMALL TOWNS, blah blah blah, PATRIOTIC, blah blah blah PRO_AMERICA!

2) Palin made a big deal about Rahm Emmanuel using the word "retard." Which, by the way, he didn't. He said that some Democrats were "fucking retarded." It was Rush Limbaugh who used the word "retard." But that was OK because, um, I don't know why. But anyway. . .
Why, if it's so horrible for Rahm Emmanuel to disparage people by comparing them to the mentally disabled, is it OK for Sarah Palin to mock the media by comparing them to the physically disabled? Every time she complains about the non-FOX media (ie legitimate media) she refers to them as the "Lamestream Media." Isn't "lame" a rude way of saying crippled? It's Ok to mock people who are crippled? But not the mentally disabled? I'm just trying to figure out the rules, here.

Why does no one ever call her on this?




Oh, right!

Oklahoma City, 15 years later

Many people marked the anniversary of the domestic terrorist attack on the Federal Building in Oklahoma City somberly

AP – Pipe Sergeant Kevin M. Donnelly, of the DEA Black and Gold Pipes and Drums, walks past the Field of Chairs …

Across Oklahoma City, people observed 168 seconds of silence to honor the dead.

Some dabbed away tears as the ceremony closed with family members reading a roll call of those who died.

And then, there were the gun nuts:

Militia movement will be packing heat at gun rally on the Potomac

Yes, the militia movement, the same group that spawned Timothy McVeigh and Terry Nichols, chose the anniversary of the Oklahoma City bombing to hold a gun-waving circle jerk just a few miles from the Capitol.

Daniel Almond, a three-tour veteran of Iraq, is ready to "muster outside D.C." on Monday with several dozen other self-proclaimed patriots, all of them armed. They intend to make history as the first people to take their guns to a demonstration in a national park, and the Virginia rally is deliberately being held just a few miles from the Capitol and the White House.

Almond plans to have his pistol loaded and openly carried, his rifle unloaded and slung to the rear, a bandoleer of magazines containing ammunition draped over his polo-shirted shoulder. The Atlanta area real estate agent organized the rally because he is upset about health-care reform, climate control, bank bailouts, drug laws and what he sees as President Obama's insistence on and the Democratic Congress's capitulation to a "totalitarian socialism" that tramples individual rights.

So a paranoid conspiracy nut is hosting a loaded gun party in a National Park. What could possibly not go wrong?

On the lineup are several heroes of the militia movement, including Mike Vanderboegh, who advocated throwing bricks through the windows of Democrats who voted for the health-care bill; Tom Fernandez, who has established a nationwide call tree to mobilize an armed resistance to any government order to seize firearms; and former Arizona sheriff Richard Mack, who refused to enforce the Brady law and then won a Supreme Court verdict that weakened its background-check provisions.

Just a harmless group of delusional paranoids who masturbate to Guns & Ammo magazine while encouraging others to commit crimes. Nothing to worry about.

From the website of nutgroup ResistNet:

The mission of the “Restore the Constitution” rally is that it be held at a firearms carry-legal location as close to DC as possible and that it attracts as many participants as possible in order to underscore the seriousness and urgency of a simple message: Restore the Constitution!
This event is being coordinated to some degree with the planners of the Second Amendment March (SAM) taking place inside DC itself on the same day.

See, these are people who believe that the 2nd Ammendment is under attack and needs defending. No matter that the only reason they are allowed to carry loaded weapons in a National Park is that President Obama signed the law that legalized it. Somehow, they just know that he's comin' fer their guns!
Check out some of the comments on the Restore The Constitution Website:

How are you fearful of Americans exercising their freedoms in this country. President Osama hasn’t yet gotten rid of the Right to Bear Arms, although I’m sure he would like to.

He has actually expanded the right to bear arms, but probably the exact opposite is also true.

My question to everyone reading this article is this: “For you, as an individual, when do you draw your saber? When do you say “Yes, I am willing to rise up and overthrow an oppressive, totalitarian government?”

Is it when the government takes away your private business?
Is it when the government rigs elections?
Is it when the government imposes martial law?
Is it when the government takes away your firearms?

these people are really scary.

Little-Known Bible Facts #2

An obscure passage in Revelations predicts that the church will someday be led by a member of the Red Hat Society