Restoring Stephen Baldwin?

Apparently, Stephen Baldwin needs help.



I don't know what my favorite part of this is. Maybe it's the fact that they plan to show those doubters who think that God isn't helping Stephen Baldwin by helping him themselves. Wouldn't that just prove that they really don't believe that God is going to help Stephen? If you think that God is going to help Stephen Baldwin, why not save your money?

Maybe it's the fact that they think that Baldwin's faith has cost him acting jobs. Not his poor acting skills, his general douchebagginess, or the fact that he looks like this:





Hmm, he used to get plenty of roles when he looked like this:



What could have changed? Probably it's those damn heathens running Hollywood punishing him for his faith!

Or maybe it's at the end when they refer to giving your spare change to a Hollywood D-lister as a "movement."

Then they ask you to go to the website, so for some reason I did.
And here's what I saw.

How This Movement Works

TOKEN GIFTING IS THE MECHANISM

Long ago, when God restored Job he used Token Gifting as the mechanism for his restoration. The scripture says "everyone who had known him before came and ate with him in his house...each one gave him a piece of silver and a gold ring" Job 42:10-11

So, God took everything away from Job, including killing his children, (just to win a bet with the devil) and then HE didn't even give Job his stuff back? His friends and neighbors had to take him on as a charity case? I can't believe that anyone who takes that story literally would want to associate with that god!

What if 10% of the 159 million Christians in America gave a Token Gift? What if 10% of the worlds 2 billion Christians gave a token gift? What would the media have to say about such an event?

I think they might say that Stephen Baldwin has come up with the greatest scam of all time. Let's all show our faith in God by sending Stephen some money? And that will bring glory, not to Stephen's grifting ability, but to God? They should glorify God by showing that they have no confidence in God to help Stephen get back on his feet? You'd think they might at least trust God to get Stephen an acting gig. I mean, it apparently works for Kirk Cameron. I guess God liked "Growing Pains" better than whatever it is Stephen Baldwin is famous for.

Oh, and there's a Q & A section:

Q- Why doesn't his family help him?
A- His family does not perceive Stephen’s predicament as a matter of spiritual warfare. They see Stephen’s outspoken Christianity as poor choices therefore they will not help.

Really? They won't help him because they think he's too outspoken? Did anyone actually ask his family about this, or is this just an assumption? I think Billy and Daniel can't help him because all their money goes to the various rehab centers around LA. And maybe Alec just thinks Stephen should quit whining and begging strangers for money and get a damn job!

Q- What happened to his wealth?
A- When he became an outspoken Christian in 2002 his income went down by 70% when he refused roles with gratuitous sex and violence.

And got fat.
Also, if you know you're going to be turning down roles with sex and/or violence, wouldn't it behoove you to cut back on your lavish lifestyle, maybe live within your means? Because 30% of a movie actor's salary should still get you a decent middle-class lifestyle.

Q- If Stephen was not involved how did you get permission to do this?
A- Daniel Southern is Stephen’s spiritual advisor and the President of Stephen’s ministries. We contacted Daniel who gave us written permission to build the site .

God, that must have taken a lot of arm-twisting. "hey, broke guy, would it be all right if we collected a bunch of money for you and you could pass it off as some sort of religious work?"
"Oh, I guess so. If it will help God.'

Q- Why does Stephen need personal wealth?
A- Stephen’s influence is in Hollywood. Hollywood worships money and without it you are seen as a loser and cannot be an effective influence to this group.

And Goddammit, I am not -- I mean Stephen is not going to be a fucking no-money loser! Because he needs to be rich. To help God. And to throw it in that bastard Alec's face, oh he thinks he's soooo great, with his Oscar and Emmys and popularity. But mostly to help God!

Q- How much money does he need?
A- From what I read in public court documents Stephen needs several million dollars to pay all of his creditors but he deserves hundreds of millions for his Job like faithfulness in the face of relentless loss and persecution.

Oh, my God. That is just shameless! This asshat runs up millions of dollars in debt. On a movie actor's salary, and we're supposed to look at him as some hapless victim of godless Hollywood? And reward his idiocy with "Hundreds of millions?" Get a job, you bum! You seriously can't get work on the PAX Network? They built a show around Billy Ray Fucking Cyrus! Where he plays a doctor! A doctor! They have no standards, and no cussing or naughty business. You can't latch on with ABC Family or the Disney Channel? Are you even looking?

Q- What percentage of a gift actually reaches Stephen?
A- 100% goes directly into his bank account through online gifting. The bank account was arranged by Daniel Southern. Daniel was Billy Graham’s Crusade Director for almost 20 years.

Oh, that's reassuring! 100% goes directly into the accounts of Deadbeat McPanhandler? No one is even getting a paying job out of this scam?

Stephen Baldwin has just moved into first place in the voting for biggest turd in the universe.

Glenn Beck's Delusions of Grandeur

Now Glenn Beck is saying he gets messages from God.

And he may even be serious.



Here's what he said on his radio insanity-fest:
(full transcript here)

God is giving a plan I think to me that is not really a plan. . . The problem is that I think the plan that the Lord would have us follow is hard for people to understand.

Because, you know if God had a plan he wanted people to follow, he would make it really confusing and hard to understand. So confusing that the recipient of the plan would not even be sure that it is a plan.

But I’m telling you, here’s what I feel with everything in me, and, if you’ve listened to this program for a long time, you know who I am. Um, and you know many of things I’ve done and said that have put me in, ya know, harm’s way one way or another, they always start at the same place, they always start at my gut or my heart, and then I figure it out as we go along.

Harm's way? When has Beck ever put himself in harm's way? Sounds like paranoid delusions to me.

All the stuff that I feel has been important on the show has been things that I felt
and didn’t understand.

Wow! A rare moment of honesty from Beck. He admits that even he doesn't understand his own ravings.

Because of my track record with you who have been here for a long time. Because of my track record with you, I beg of you to help me get this message out, and I beg of you to pray for clarity on my part. The plan that He would have me articulate, I think, to you is “Get behind me.” And I don’t mean me, I mean Him. “Get behind Me. Stand behind Me.”

That's it? God took the time to send a message to Crazy McCrybaby and it's "Get behind me?" That's it? Really? God wants people to stand behind him? Oh, thank goodness for Beck, because I totally thought that God wanted people to oppose and obstruct him! Now the Bible finally makes sense!

I truly believe I have done years now of reading the Founders, their diaries, their letters, the Pilgrims, their diaries, their letters.

That's not something you "truly believe." You either have spent years reading this stuff or you haven't. There's no believe.

I’ve held their letters in my hands. The exchanges between the Founders, I’ve held their actual letters in my hand. I have seen it with my own eyes — and I will tell you that God was instrumental and then [sic] knew it!

Of course, bear in mind that Glenn doesn't understand things. He must have missed this quote:

Of all the systems of religion that ever were invented, there is no more derogatory to the Almighty, more unedifiying to man, more repugnant to reason, and more contradictory to itself than this thing called Christianity.

-Thomas Paine (The Age of Reason)

Or this:

• 
  

• During almost fifteen centuries has the legal establishment of Christianity been on trial. What have been its fruits? More or less in all places, pride and indolence in the Clergy, ignorance and servility in the laity, in both, superstition, bigotry and persecution.

--James Madison

Or this:

Question with boldness even the existence of a God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason, than that of blind-folded fear.

--Thomas Jefferson

Back to Beck:

But that’s what He’s asking us to do — is to stand peacefully, quietly, with anger, quiet with anger, loudly with truth.

If there's anything God loves more than anger, it's silence!

Faith — is the answer. Get on your knees, don’t take it like a September 11th, get on your knees, please, I don’t care what church you go to, no church at all, I don’t care. Turn to Him.

But, like a week ago, you were pretty specific about what kind of churches we could go to. Now any old church will do? Even no church?

Also, I don't get the Sept. 11th reference. But then, I'm not fluent in right-wing gibberish.

If My Father in Law Worked in Advertising

A Couple of Observations About Sarah Palin

1) A Sarah Palin sentence is like an Elvis movie.

In an Elvis movie, you start with a certain number of Elvis songs, then fill in enough dialogue and action to flesh it out to movie length. Everything between the songs is just filling space until the next song comes along.

With Palin, she starts with a certain number of buzzwords, then fills the space in between with whatever random words pop into her head.

Here's an example:

"We believe that the best of America is not all in Washington, D.C. ... We believe that the best of America is in these small towns that we get to visit, and in these wonderful little pockets of what I call the real America, being here with all of you hard working very patriotic, um, very, um, pro-America areas of this great nation."

In other words:

Blah, blah, blah, REAL AMERICA, blah, blah, blah, SMALL TOWNS, blah blah blah, PATRIOTIC, blah blah blah PRO_AMERICA!

2) Palin made a big deal about Rahm Emmanuel using the word "retard." Which, by the way, he didn't. He said that some Democrats were "fucking retarded." It was Rush Limbaugh who used the word "retard." But that was OK because, um, I don't know why. But anyway. . .
Why, if it's so horrible for Rahm Emmanuel to disparage people by comparing them to the mentally disabled, is it OK for Sarah Palin to mock the media by comparing them to the physically disabled? Every time she complains about the non-FOX media (ie legitimate media) she refers to them as the "Lamestream Media." Isn't "lame" a rude way of saying crippled? It's Ok to mock people who are crippled? But not the mentally disabled? I'm just trying to figure out the rules, here.

Why does no one ever call her on this?




Oh, right!

Oklahoma City, 15 years later

Many people marked the anniversary of the domestic terrorist attack on the Federal Building in Oklahoma City somberly

AP – Pipe Sergeant Kevin M. Donnelly, of the DEA Black and Gold Pipes and Drums, walks past the Field of Chairs …

Across Oklahoma City, people observed 168 seconds of silence to honor the dead.

Some dabbed away tears as the ceremony closed with family members reading a roll call of those who died.

And then, there were the gun nuts:

Militia movement will be packing heat at gun rally on the Potomac

Yes, the militia movement, the same group that spawned Timothy McVeigh and Terry Nichols, chose the anniversary of the Oklahoma City bombing to hold a gun-waving circle jerk just a few miles from the Capitol.

Daniel Almond, a three-tour veteran of Iraq, is ready to "muster outside D.C." on Monday with several dozen other self-proclaimed patriots, all of them armed. They intend to make history as the first people to take their guns to a demonstration in a national park, and the Virginia rally is deliberately being held just a few miles from the Capitol and the White House.

Almond plans to have his pistol loaded and openly carried, his rifle unloaded and slung to the rear, a bandoleer of magazines containing ammunition draped over his polo-shirted shoulder. The Atlanta area real estate agent organized the rally because he is upset about health-care reform, climate control, bank bailouts, drug laws and what he sees as President Obama's insistence on and the Democratic Congress's capitulation to a "totalitarian socialism" that tramples individual rights.

So a paranoid conspiracy nut is hosting a loaded gun party in a National Park. What could possibly not go wrong?

On the lineup are several heroes of the militia movement, including Mike Vanderboegh, who advocated throwing bricks through the windows of Democrats who voted for the health-care bill; Tom Fernandez, who has established a nationwide call tree to mobilize an armed resistance to any government order to seize firearms; and former Arizona sheriff Richard Mack, who refused to enforce the Brady law and then won a Supreme Court verdict that weakened its background-check provisions.

Just a harmless group of delusional paranoids who masturbate to Guns & Ammo magazine while encouraging others to commit crimes. Nothing to worry about.

From the website of nutgroup ResistNet:

The mission of the “Restore the Constitution” rally is that it be held at a firearms carry-legal location as close to DC as possible and that it attracts as many participants as possible in order to underscore the seriousness and urgency of a simple message: Restore the Constitution!
This event is being coordinated to some degree with the planners of the Second Amendment March (SAM) taking place inside DC itself on the same day.

See, these are people who believe that the 2nd Ammendment is under attack and needs defending. No matter that the only reason they are allowed to carry loaded weapons in a National Park is that President Obama signed the law that legalized it. Somehow, they just know that he's comin' fer their guns!
Check out some of the comments on the Restore The Constitution Website:

How are you fearful of Americans exercising their freedoms in this country. President Osama hasn’t yet gotten rid of the Right to Bear Arms, although I’m sure he would like to.

He has actually expanded the right to bear arms, but probably the exact opposite is also true.

My question to everyone reading this article is this: “For you, as an individual, when do you draw your saber? When do you say “Yes, I am willing to rise up and overthrow an oppressive, totalitarian government?”

Is it when the government takes away your private business?
Is it when the government rigs elections?
Is it when the government imposes martial law?
Is it when the government takes away your firearms?

these people are really scary.