An Open letter to Everyone Invoilved With "Project Runway"

Dear Everyone,

     Please, please, please for the love of God, stop using the singular "pant." I don't know why it's so annoying, and I don't know why I find it vaguely creepy, but it is and I do. The term has always been "pants." As in "I have designed this pair of pants which do not fit my model correctly and make her appear to wearing Huggies." Why do you all insist on using "pant," as in "I think instead of a dress, I will design a jacket and a pant which will be too tight and make my model look lumpy and misshapen."

If you are for whatever reason, you are uncomfortable with the term "pants," there are other alternatives.

Slacks

Trousers

Britches

Pantalones

Cullotes

Whatever. Just please stop saying "a pant."

I thank you for your prompt consideration of this matter.

Taking a Couple Days Off

Looks like I'll be taking a couple days off while I work on a different web project.
I'll be back irritating everyone very soon.
Try to hold back your tears.

My problem with the new Planet of the Apes trailer

Well, two problems reaaly. My first problem is that they are making another Planet of the Apes movie. Didn't they already make more than enough of these silly movies in the 1970's?

 

Apparently, Monkey Lovin' was considered acceptable back then?

 And haven't they already done the obligatory "gritty reboot?"

 

And didn't we all laugh at it then? So why in the world would they think to make a new version with a completely different origin story with the "unintended consequences of science" theme popularized by Mary Shelley?

 

Why we can't have stem-cell research, because this might happen.



 


But, since the movie industry has developed a crippling fear of anything original, I guesss I shouldn't be too terribly surprised. They made a Miami Vice movie, for God'sake. And an A-Team movie. And Two Charlies' Angels movies!

But here's my main problem with the new Planet of the Apes trailer:




Okay, I get that the chimps are super-smart. And I get that they are seriously pissed off, and rightly so. And there are a lot of them, and they're very strong. But what the filmmakers seem to have forgotten is that people have guns. If a bunch of angry monkeys started tipping over cars on the Golden Gate Bridge, how long do you think it would take for the SFPD to mow them all down? Okay, maybe the SFPD isn't our best defense, but eventually, these damn dirty apes are going to wind up in East Palo Alto or Richmond, and they're going to run into these muthafukkas:

 

Or they'll wander into Oakland and run smack into these sob's:

 

Either way, there's gonna be a whole bunch of dead monkeys pretty quick.

Granted, these monkeys are pretty scary.

 

But how are they going to beat a species who have this:

 

And this:

 

And this:



I just don't see how you could make a Planet of the Apes movie that's so unrealistic!

Now this is more like it:

Who the hell put this scumbag in charge?

The Fast Fix: Grover Norquist’s effect on the debt ceiling

 

I knew this little turd had his stupid "No new taxes" pledge, and I knew some Republicans had signed it, but holy shit! Two Hundred and Forty members of Congress?  How dare they? How dare they sign an oath to a single person when they are supposed to represent the people of their district and the people of the United States in general? So even though a majority of the people want to see a compromise on the debt ceiling, even though most people want to see the Bush tax cuts expire for the richest, and most people want to end tax breaks for huge super-profitable corporations, these assholes are apparently willing to ignore the will of the people because they owe their loyalties to one little shitbag who hates taxes.

 

Bow before me, Republicans! Pledge to me your loyalty!

Don't the members of Congress take a much more serious oath upon taking office? Don't they swear to support and defend the Constitution? The Constitution which requires that we do not default on our debt payments? Shouldn't that oath supercede any brain-dead promise to a weasly little bag of scum who clearly does not have the best interests of the Nation in mind?

 

.Fuck it, I'm rich. What the hell do I care if the country goes broke?

Why is this even allowed? Isn't this a pretty blatant conflict of interest? And also just blockhead stupid. No matter the circumstances, no matter what might be best for the US of A, you swear that you will not allow even the slightest revenue increase? Because your anti-tax anti-government ideology is more important to you than the health of the US economy. Does that sound like responsible leadership to anyone?

Reuters – Wed, Jul 20, 2011

Police bust prostitution ring catering to Wall Street

 

So the entire House, Senate and the White House are all under arrest?