I stand corrected

THIS is the most ridiculous homophobic comment ever:

Kevin Swanson Warns 'This Whole Lesbian Whatever' Has Turned People Into 'Feces-Eaters'

          

Submitted by Brian Tashman on Wednesday, 5/21/2014 2:35 pm -

Um, what?

 

Not seeing anyone eating any poop here.

Maybe. . .


Nah, look at those teeth. They've obviously never eaten any poop.

So who's doing all the poop-eating?

On Monday, “Generations Radio” host Kevin Swanson warned that “this whole lesbian whatever, the Neronic agenda” — the term he regularly uses to describe the LGBT rights movement — has helped plunged society into “dysfunctionality” and turned people into “feces eaters.”

Oh, so it's not the lesbians who are eating the poop, they're somehow causing society in general to go around eating poop? Damn you, you devious lesbians, always one step ahead of us!

“There’s not just divorce: people are eating their own feces, there’s incest everywhere,” Swanson lamented. 

Oh, and incest too? Okay, lesbians, you win! We'll give you whatever you want, just please stop making us eat poop and fuck our sisters!

He said that only churches like his can draw the feces-eaters back to God: “There’s a contrast between the feces-eaters and the church and I think the feces eaters look at the church and go, ‘Whoa, they don’t eat feces, they’re different, they’re weird.’

 Oh, my God, I was just saying that the other day. Our neighbor invited us to his church and I asked him "your denomination does eat poop, right?" and he says "no, we don't ever eat any poop," and I'm all like "woah, weirdo cult alert!"

Yes they do see the church as weird and our communities will see our churches as weird, but some will say, ‘But they’re doing better than we are.’”

Doing better than the incestuous poop-eaters? Ha! I'd like to see that!

By the way, this guy refers to a "Neronic agenda?" What the fuck does that even mean? I actually thought it was "Necronic" and had something to do with death, but according to RWW, it refers to the Roman Emporor Nero for some bizarre reason.

Following a discussion of how same-sex weddings are “Neronic weddings” as they were developed by Nero. . .

Um, I did what now?

Is there any truth to that? Who fucking knows? The only scholar of ancient history I know is my father-in-law, and I'm not about to call him up and open that whole can of worms, so I'm just going to assume it's total bullshit. If it were true, I don't really think it would be at all relevant, either. Should we give up the violin because Nero played one?

 

Just think what we'd have to give up because of Caligula!

 

Nope, still no poop!

Most Laughable Homophobic Comment Ever?

And I know that there is nothing funny about homophobia, but sometimes its practitioners are just soooooo ridiculous that I can't help but laugh.

Case in point,  Florida (of course) State Representative Charles Van Zant
(Presumablyno relation to Townes. Or to Little Steven) who offered up this gem:

These people, that will now receive $220 million from the state of Florida unless this is stopped, will promote double-mindedness in state education and attract every one of your children to become as homosexual as they possibly can. I’m sorry to report that to you.

The part that makes me laugh is the "as homosexual as they can possibly be" line. Because I picture some sort of gayness coach saying things like "Okay, so you're attracted to members of your own gender, that's great. But I know you can be more homosexual than that. Come on, kid you can do it!"

Better!

Keep working. . ..

 

Getting there. . .

C'mon kid, I need you to be as homosexual as you possibly can! 

Yeah! I knew you could do it!

Oh, by the way, the thing that's going to make Florida's children all turn as gay as they possibly can be? Common Core.

No, really.

Or, more specifically, the company that will be administering the tests.
Seriously.

Rep. Charles Van Zant says testing company promotes homosexuality

Lawmaker stands by comments in interview with Channel 4

I don't know how creating testing materials is supposed to turn kids gay. I could see how a paranoid troglodyte might think that a teacher could slip enough pro-gay propaganda into class materials to somehow influence little hetero kids into thinking "girls sure are purty, but have I ever really given dick a chance?" But how the testing company is supposed to do that is beyond me.

ORLANDO, Fla. -
A state lawmaker from Clay County claims the company charged with creating new state standardized tests in Florida promotes homosexuality.

“Please, go on their website. Click the link to what they’re doing with youth and you will see what their agenda really is," said Van Zant. "They are promoting as hard as they can any youth that is interested in the LGBT agenda and even name it 2-S, as they define as having two spirits. The Bible says a lot about being double-minded."

It does? double-mindedness? That's something that comes up a lot, does it? Because in all my Bible-studyin' years, I don't remember that term ever coming up. But okay, I'll click the link, why not?
American Institutes for Research

• Home
• Our Topics
• Social Development

LGBT Youth

Adolescence marks a time of tremendous opportunity for positive growth and development as young people transition into adulthood. Exclusion, rejection or bias can make this journey perilous. A disproportionate number of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender youth experience physical and emotional abuse at home, in school and in their communities simply because of their identity.

 Ooh! What a controversial stance! Many LGBT youth get treated shitty by people? That translates into "soon you will all join us on the dark side, by which I mean the gay side, bwah hah hah hah!!" ?

A Guide for Understanding, Supporting, and Affirming LGBTQI2-S Children, Youth, and Families

A new guide provides information for educators, human service providers and allies about supporting the health and well-being of children and youth who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, questioning, intersex and/or two-spirit (LGBTQI2-S) and their families. 

Or, in other words. . .

 

Join me, and together we will rule the Castro!

 Also, it may be worth noting that they pretty specifically do not call homosexuality "S-2" or "two spririts. That is mentioned as a seperate category of being "intersex." Which is pretty different, I think. I mean, I'm not the biggest expert in what the scary non-breeder people are up to to try and destroy America, but I'm pretty sure that intersex and gay are two separate things.

Anyway, it may shock you to learn that while the AIR website says many positive things about treating LGBT youth like decent human beings, nowhere on the page does it mention anything about how to turn straight kids gay, let alone how to get them to be as homosexual as they can possibly be.

 

D'oh! Why did I provide a link to a page that shows how full of shit I am?

 Oh, right. Florida!

Van Zant confirmed he made the comments at an event two months ago, although he did not know he was being recorded on video. He said Common Core could introduce homosexuality to children, something he said should be left to parents to discuss with their kids.
“I don't think that has any place being introduced in Florida schools,” Van Zant said.

And neither does science! Or History. Or  Geography. The only textbooks we need are the Bible and everything by David Barton!

  

Who, perhaps not coincidentally, looks like the guy who kidnapped Helena on Orphan Black.

Anyway, here's the video, via Think Progress, in case you don't think that anyone could be this fucking weird and stupid.



a

I haven't kept up with the news lately. . .

. . . has Barack Obama resigned yet?

I mean, I'm sure that by now there must be at least 10 or 20 million patriots swarming the Mall in DC demanding his ouster, and. . .

 

Oh. 

Oh, I see.

But surely there must be a bunch more in other parts of. . .

Oh.

So, which million of you guys are going to be the ones to stay for the long haul?

And the best part is, those people who did show up? They're surprised by the "dismal turnout!"

Jackie Milton, 61, who came all the way from Texas for the protest said he was disappointed with the numbers. “It’s a very dismal turnout,” Milton told The Washington Post. “It ain’t no million. And it ain’t looking like there’s going to be millions,” he said. 

So how does this happen? How do people really get their hopes up that millions and millions of people are really going to show up to demand the resignation of most pf the government? Granted, these are the same people who were completely stunned when Mitt Romney lost the election to Barack Obama even though ALL the polls predicted exactly that. But how does that happen?

I suppose  that's what happens when you live in the FOX News /AM talk radio bubble. Because in the bubble, everyone, absolutely everyone just hates hates HATES Barack Obama. And absolutely everyone knows that he is just constantly violating the Constitution on myriad uncountable and unexplainable ways. Everyone in the bubble knows that the future of the Republic is in danger if these darn liberals like Barack Obama and Mitch McConell aren't immediately removed from office. 

And if 100% of the folks in the bubble think this way, it's only reasonable to assume that something close to 100% of ALL people must think that way, it's just simple statistical analysis. So, let's say maybe 90% of 300 million people, and maybe only half are able to make it to DC, I suppose some folks can't afford cars because of Obama's job-killing policies, that means that. . . um, carry the one. . about . . . 135 million people who could be reasonably expected to show up.

Or maybe this many?

 

I saw this a couple weeks ago

and I'm still not over it.

[Tucker]Carlson also pointed out that he preferred the Grateful Dead to rap music because it was “wholesome.”

Fuck you, Carlson. Don't you ruin the Dead for me. This is worse than the time that teenage me was playing some record and my mom walked by my room and said "oh, I like this song." Because no one wants to like any music that their mom likes but at least my mom wasn't a shit-eating little prick like Tucker Carlson.

And by the way, I know that a lot of the FOX/talk radio assholes are doing it for the money, but Tucker Carlson has never had to do anything for the money. He was born with a silver spoon up his ass, he's just horrible for the fun of being horrible.

And he's saying that the Grateful Dead are "wholesome?" Where does he come up with that? Has he ever heard any of their lyrics?

 I come in from Memphis
where I learned to talk the jive
When I get back to Memphis
be one less man alive
Good Mornin Mr. Benson
I see you're doin well
If I had me a shotgun
I'd blow you straight to Hell

or how about

And it's three days ride from Bakersfield and I don't know why I came
I guess I came to keep from payin' dues
So instead I've got a bottle and a girl who's just fourteen
And a damn good case of the Mexicali Blues
. . .

I went down to those dusty streets, blood was on my mind
I guess that stranger hadn't heard the news
'Cause I shot first and killed him, Lord, he didn't even draw
And he made me trade the gallows for the Mexicali Blues

or 

One of them cowboys, he starts to draw,
And I shot him down, Lord he never saw.
Well I grabbed a bottle, cracked him in the jaw,
Shot me another, oh damn he won't grow old.
In the confusion, my uncle grabbed the gold,
And we high-tailed it down to Mexico.

I love those cowboys, I love their gold,
I loved my uncle, God rest his soul,
Taught me good, Lord, Taught me all I know
Taught me so well, I grabbed that gold
And I left his dead ass there by the side of the road.

or 

Got a wife in Chino, babe
And one in Cherokee
First one says she's got my child
But it don't look like me

I set out running but I take my time
A friend of the Devil is a friend of mine

 Wholesome? God, Tucker Carlson is an idiot!

You think you know where this is going. . .

. . . but you're wrong!

(via MPS) From Lunatic hate-monger Tony Perkins of Family Research Council comes this quote:

“Contraception is made available as if it were candy which sends a message. . .

Okay, so you think you've seen this movie before. Contraception is widely available and it's turning our innocent young ladies into giant slut-bags, etc. . .

 

 well it’s there, it must be there for a reason. . .

 Or maybe it's the one about how no young person would ever get it into his head to go out and do sex to a lady if it were not for society's evil influence, placing contraception within his grasp and what-not?

 and then we’re surprised when — this is not justification, it’s wrong, we are all responsible for our actions — but we’re surprised when people act on these outside factors that they are surrounded by.



 Oh, no wait. Maybe it's the even worse movie where a right-wing moralizer makes excuses for rapists? It's not the boys' fault that they get so tempted by the slutty temptresses, what with evil secularist society making contraceptives so readily available, how can they control themselves? One of those quotes?

Nope!

 Here's the actual ending of this Tony Perkins quote:

 

 It leads to tyranny.”

How the what? Leads to tyranny? I would've bet money he was gonna say "leads to whoredom" or "leads to fornicationville" or something that at least has some relation to the availability of sex stuff, but tyranny? Just to be sure, here's the quote in its entirety:

“Contraception is made available as if it were candy which sends a message, well it’s there, it must be there for a reason, and then we’re surprised when — this is not justification, it’s wrong, we are all responsible for our actions — but we’re surprised when people act on these outside factors that they are surrounded by. It leads to tyranny.”

 I've searched the intertubes for some context, and this is all I can find:

“It leads to tyranny,” added Perkins."This is the challenge we have when we abandon objective truth and jettison the moral law and live by an arbitrary standard that is put in place by government.”

 How exactly making birth control available has anything to do with objective truth, or what "objective truth" has to do with abandoning moral law or what any of that has to do with tyranny is anyone's guess.