Stupid people say stupid things

And these are elected officials.


Stupid person # 1:

Texas’ Abbott: ‘Drive around’ to look for dangerous chemicals

07/02/14 12:39 PM—Updated 07/02/14 12:40 PM

Um, why should we drive around looking for dangerous chemicals?

. . . because Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott (R), the frontrunner in this year’s gubernatorial race, declared that state records on dangerous chemical locations can be withheld from the public. The Texas Tribune reported yesterday on the state A.G.’s rationale.

 

Why would you not? Why would you not want people to know what chemicals are being stored where? Why would you withhold that information from the public?

 

Oh, right!

But anyway, that's not even the stupid part. Here's the stupid part:

 

Republican Attorney General Greg Abbott, under fire for blocking public access to state records documenting the location of dangerous chemicals, said Texans still have a right to find out where the substances are stored. 

 

As long as they know which companies to ask.

 

“You know where they are if you drive around,” Abbott told reporters Tuesday. “You can ask every facility whether or not they have chemicals or not. You can ask them if they do, and they can tell you, ‘Well we do have chemicals or we don’t have chemicals,’ and if they do, they tell which ones they have.”

 


 Seriously, you want people to drive around to various companies, walk up to the gate, ask for the manager and ask him to reveal trade secrets to you? Seriously?

  

You're not getting past this guy.

I mean, sure, technically they could tell you. But they fucking won't. These companies won't even tell Congress what kinds of chemicals they use. Under subpoena! They just say "trade secrets, bitches!" and walk away laughing. You think they're going to give that information to Joe Citizen? You're a fucking idiot if you think theere's any chance of that happening. 

Stupid person # 2:

 Republican state Sen. Brandon Smith of Kentucky has a new theory on why climate change couldn’t possibly be slowly warming the earth’s temperature, resulting in legions of effects to the environment and its inhabitants.

Republican? Kentucky? Oh, you just know this is gonna be good!

 

 “As you sit there in your chair with your data, we sit up here in ours with our data and our constituents and stuff behind us. 

No. No, you don't get your own data. There is one set of data. And then there is a bunch of numbers made up by some shills on the Koch payroll. Also, might want to leave out the fact that in addition to phony data you also have "stuff" behind you.

  

But anyway, that's not even the stupid part. 

This is the stupid part:

I don’t want to get into the debate about climate change, but I will simply point out that I think in academia we all agree that the temperature on Mars is exactly as it is here. Nobody will dispute that,” said the senator in a video posted by the weekly publication. “Yet there are no coal mines on Mars. There are no factories on Mars that I’m aware of.”

 

 

 The temperature on Mars. The same as the Earth? You're serious?

On average, the temperature on Mars is about minus 80 degrees F (minus 60 degrees C). In winter, near the poles temperatures can get down to minus 195 degrees F (minus 125 degrees C). A summer day on Mars may get up to 70 degrees F (20 degrees C) near the equator, but at night the temperature can plummet to about minus 100 degrees F (minus 73 C).  (http://www.space.com/16907-what-is-the-temperature-of-mars.html)

And you say that "academia" is in agreement with you? Academia?

 

Sure, nobody will dispute that. Nobody who has the vaguest realization that Mars is quite a b it further from the Sun and therefore can not help but be considerably colder than Earth will dispute that. Or, to put it more succinctly, no one who ever took 5th grade science  class will dispute that, which kind of leaves out "academia." 

So, from what other laws can someone get religious exemption?

Because, post-Hobby Lobby, it seems that  anyone can claim some deeply-held religious belief and exempt themselves from the law.

Well, not anyone, Alito specifically said that the ruling wouldn't apply to Jehova's Witnesses and their anti-transfusion stance, but really, why not? If a mainstream Catholic or Protestant can get a religious exemption, wouldn't the equal protection clause require that Jehova's Witnesses or Christian Scientists, or Scientologists be allowed to deny their employees coverage for transfusions, or psychiatric care, or any medical care at all, as the case may be?
And religious-based colleges are already claiming that they should be exempt from anti-discrimination laws. (here)

So, what other laws are "religious" people going to exempt themselves from?

There are laws against beating children, right? What if some parents decide that their religion commands them to beat their kids? With a rod? The Bible says "spare the rod, spoil the child" or something like that, right? So what's to stop a parent from claiming that their religious beliefs exempt them from having to follow the law against child abuse?

What about those cases that come up now and again where some loonie parents let their kids die because their religion forbids them to use doctors or medicine? Couldn't they claim that their religious beliefs, stupid as they are, trump the laws of the land?

Or do religious exemptions only go to corporations?

A Spectacular Bit of Assholery

I've heard of cutting off your nose to spite your face, but this is ridiculous.

Apparently, there is a thing now called "rolling coal" or "coal-rolling" or "being a huge festering pile of dicks."

Rolling Coal: Conservatives ‘screw’ Obama by modifying trucks to spew toxic black smoke

By David Edwards
Monday, July 7, 2014 9:03 EDT

The way it works is this:


Let's say you were a rage-fueled, cro-magnon manchild with serious psychological problems based largely on small penis size. And let's say you're in your giant truck, just drivin' around over-compensating when you see some nerd driving a Prius or riding a bicycle.

Now, granted, this nerd isn't bothering you, he isn't causing you any harm. He isn't forcing you to drive a nerd-mobile or ride a nerdcycle, but still. . . you'd just really like to stick it to this nerd for being such a goddamm nerd all the time, caring about the environment and what-not. (Or maybe just trying to save a little money at the gas pump or get a little exercise, or whatever these nerds are into)

What can you do?

Well, now you can modify your truck so blow great billowing clouds of toxins into the air. The air that this guy has to breathe, ha ha! And. . . um. . . also. . . you. . . have. . . to . . . breathe. . . oh. But anyway, that'll sure show him!

I mean, it's one thing to cut iff your nose to spite your face, but these guys are cutting off their own noses and the other guys' noses and everyone else's noses to spite the President's face. That is a spectacular bit of assholery!

Conservatives who detest President Barack Obama and EPA clean air regulations are modifying their vehicles to purposefully spew black smoke into the atmosphere.
So-called “coal rollers” install smoke stacks and special equipment in their diesel trucks that makes the engine think that it needs more fuel, resulting in plumes of black smoke.
According to Slate’s Dave Weigel, the phenomenon is not new, but it is becoming more popular among conservatives who want to protest the president and his efforts to clean up the environment. 

 Because, fuck yeah! Who the fuck wants breathable air?

Someone once joked that if President Obama came out in favor of oxygen, conservatives would all suffocate themselves. That joke wasn't all that far off, apparently.

“I run into a lot of people that really don’t like Obama at all,” a smoke stack seller in Wisconsin told Weigel. “If he’s into the environment, if he’s into this or that, we’re not. I hear a lot of that.”

Hey, fellas. The President is also really really into eating food and reproducing!

 “To get a single stack on my truck—that’s my way of giving them the finger,” he added. “You want clean air and a tiny carbon footprint? Well, screw you.”

And sure, that finger is also jammed into my own eye, but it's totally worth it to make a gesture that the dang president will never see or probably even hear about. Take that, O'Bummer!

 In June, Vocativ reported on the trend of “coal rollers” using their toxic exhaust as revenge against “nature nuffies” who drive environmentally friendly cars, like the Toyota Prius. 

Why in the hell would you think you need to take "revenge"  against someone who, um . . . drives a car? Pretty sure these people don't understand what the word "revenge" means. Or pretty much any other word.

“The feeling around here is that everyone who drives a small car is a liberal,” a South Carolina truck owner named Ryan explained. “I rolled coal on a Prius once just because they were tailing me.”

Oh, wait. That son of a bitch was driving behind you? Oh, well then he was obviously asking for it. 

“It’s bad for the environment. That’s definitely true,” he admitted. “And some of the kids that have diesel trucks can look like tools. And you can cause a wreck, but everything else about it is pretty good.”

Sure, there's death and sickness and horrible suffering, but everything else about the plague is pretty good!

The Clean Air Task Force estimates that pollutants from diesel vehicles “lead to 21,000 premature deaths each year and create a cancer risk that is seven times greater than the combined risk of all 181 other air toxics tracked by the EPA.

Ha! Take that, NoBama!
Maybe next time you'll think about that next time you try to "clean up" the "air!"

Oh, and apparently, these assholes are paying up to $5,000 to be able to make their "statement," and there's apparently no law against it, even though I once got a ticket for excessive exhaust because I was poor and drove a beat-up old car, but that was years ago, and it was in California, so maybe things are different out here in "Real America."



 Is it wrong to wish emphysema on these fucktards? 'Cuz I kinda wish they would get emphysema.
Yeah, probably wrong.

Bad Ads - Kia

The formula for this type of ad is usually pretty simple.

The pretty girl likes our product, so you should buy our product because of some reason. I guess maybe the pretty girl will get mixed up about what it is that she likes and will accidentally think she likes you because you are eating/drinking/driving our product?

Anyway, this ad tweaks that formula a bit. For some bizarre reason, they went with "pretty girl likes soccer, so you should buy a car?"




I had to see these ads several times before I even realized they were ads for cars. I thought they were promos for the World Cup, maybe ESPN spots? It can't possibly be an effective ad campaign if I'm confused as to what the ads are for.

I did final;ly figure out that they were car ads, but that didn't really make them much better. Because when I went to YouTube to find the video, I searched for "Hyundai World Cup ad." So, good job, Kia, the one car-related thing your ads made me think of was that Hyundai is the official car sponsor of the World Cup. Money well spent, Kia!

This is supposed to be scary?

So, I guess this map has been making the rounds of the so-called "news" programs lately.






Apparently, it's supposed to show ISIS's 5-year plan for  (insert scary music) WORLD DOMINATION!!!!

So, for a moment, let's pretend that the source for this map isn't incredibly dubious.
Lets' pretend that the networks aren't seriously reporting on something they saw on Twitter.
Let's say this map is for real.

So what?

Maybe ISIS really does have a 5-year plan for re-conquering the Ottoman territories. So what? Anyone can make a plan for world domination. These guys did it every week:

 

At the Chaos Compound, we make plans to take over Europe every couple of days, and yet we still live here in Atlanta, and not in Versailles.

So what if they have some stupid plan for taking over the Mediterranean. Does anyone seriously think they have any chance of pulling it off?

It's one thing to walk in to the fucked-up power vacuum of a shambles of a country like Iraq and take over (and they have yet to pull that off), but who really thinks that this rag-tag bunch of Medieval thugs would stand a chance of taking over a rich, well-organized country like Saudi Arabia? Let alone Spain or Greece?

So why are we pretending that this is serious? Could it maybe be that the agenda of the American media id possibly being driven by folks that would love nothing more than to involve us in another pointless war? Because maybe war is good for ratings? And maybe some of their sponsors maybe make tons of money off of military contracts? Or maybe even the companies that own the networks also might make monies off of military contracts?


Or are we really supposed to be scared that these guys are capable of world domination?

 

 

Oh, and by the way, Che Guevarra called, he wants his look back.