When Mitt and I were first married, we lived in a tiny basement apartment, eating tuna and pasta while Mitt attended Harvard. Our only source of income was the huge stock portfolio that Mitt's father had given him that we were able to sell of a little at a time. Why, at one point, things looked so bleak that we thought one of us might have to go out and get a job! A job, can you imagine?
Of course, I was no stranger to hardship, being the daughter of immigrants. By which I mean my grandfather came from Wales. It still pains me to remember how people would sometimes have trouble understanding something he said, or would comment on how he had a "cool accent." Many a time people mistook him for Tom Jones!
Being the daughter of immigrants was sure tough! The town we lived in was only the fifth most affluent town in the United States. Do you know that over 50 percent of the homes there are worth less than one million dollars? Thank God we made it out of that slum!
Well, that's all the time we have for tonight. Join me next time for Ann Romney's Tales of Woe when I tell the heartbreaking story "I Married a Robot."
I have not watched a minute of the Republican Convention. I just can't put myself through that, no matter how many potential laughs there are.
I assume it looks a little something like this:
But from what I'm hearing, some weird shit is going on there. For one thing, none of the speeches are about Mitt Romney. The speeches could all have been written before they chose the nominee. Mitt Romney is the Johnny Bravo of politics. They had the songs, they just needed a guy who fit the suit.
The one speech that was about Mitt was delivered by Ann Romney who was then completely punked by Chris Christie
I want to talk to you about LOVE!
Love is for sissies, we want respect!
Also Ann Romney is weird. For one thing, when she shouts "I Love you Women!" she sounds like Lyle the effeminate heterosexual stating his dedication to heterosexuality.
I love Vagiiiiiiinas!!!
And what she loves so much about women is that "we are the mothers, the daughters, the sisters, the grandmothers. . ." Yes, being related to other people, that's quite a fucking accomplishment. That's really the best you could come up with? You do know that women do actual things, right? Oh, I guess you probably didn't know that.
And now she's out talking to Latina women, I wonder how that's going?
Artist's rendition
Ann Romney Woos Hispanic Voters,
Urging They Get Past ‘Their Biases’
Really, Ann?
"You’d better really look at your future and figure out who’s going to be the guy that’s going to make it better for you and your children. . .
Because Latinas just love being lectured to by condescending rich white ladies!
“It really is a message that would resonate well if they could just get past some of their biases that have been there from the Democratic machines that have made us look like we don’t care about this community,” Romney said. “And that is not true. We very much care about you and your families and the opportunities that are there for you and your families.”
We just want those opportunities to be in Mexico or Guatemawhatsitcalled, wherever you people are from. Why are you so biased against us?
She stressed her immigrant roots, mentioning that her grandfather was Welsh.
“I know what it’s like to be the daughter of immigrants,” she said
Um, yeah, daughter and granddaughter are not the same thing. You are the granddaughter of an immigrant who, by the way, came from an English-speaking country and was white, so it's a little different experience from what a Juanita Torres might have.
And we all know you grew up rich, so don't act like you have anything in common with first-generation Mexican-Americans.
Romney praised the first lady of Puerto Rico, Luce Fortuno, who introduced her last night, calling them “kindred spirits.”
“What she and her husband are doing on that little island is quite remarkable. You should be so proud,”
Well, it's just adorable how you folks on that precious little island are just really doing so great and all!
And lastly, are the Republicans seriously going with a convention theme based around an intentional misconstruing of something that the president said? There is really no low to which these people will not sink.
I saw a Bobby Jindal bumper sticker today. Bobby Jindal! And the car had Georgia plates, so I can only assume that this driver is envious of Louisiana and wishes we had a dead-eyed dimwitted dullard in our state house instead of whatever it is we do have.
Probably.
Anyway, so I wondered what Bobby Jindal was up to now. More exorcisms? More disastrous public speaking? Not quite.
Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal (R) on Monday sent a letter to President
Obama saying the federal government was not doing enough to help
Louisiana cover the expenses it’s taking on in preparation for Tropical
Storm Isaac.
“Unfortunately, your limited declaration does not
provide for reimbursement of expenses that the state is taking to
prepare for the storm,” Jindal said in his letter.
Wow! That is just a stunning level of hypocrisy, especially considering that Jindal is best known for mocking the Federal government's spending on volcano monitoring. I guess that if you live in a stste that is threatened by hurricanes, Big Brother should step in and help you, but if the threat in your state is a volcano, then suck it up, ya wuss, try being self-reliant for once!
President Obama on Monday declared a state of emergency for Louisiana,
which is expected to be in the path of Tropical Storm Isaac.
The
action by Obama makes federal funding to the state available
immediately, but Jindal said it “only provides for direct federal
assistance” and doesn’t “provide for reimbursement of expenses that the
state is taking to prepare for the storm.”
Also, Waaaah!!! Waaaahhhh!!!
Oh, no! The big bad federal government is not spending enough money for this bitchy little teabagger? Funny how all of a sudden, maybe government spending isn't so bad after all?
Also, you're supposed to spend money preparing for storms. Why would you complain about not being reimbursed for money that your state is spending to protect the residents of your state? Why would someone else pay for that? That's why you're supposed to collect taxes, genius.
Jindal said Monday that he would not attend the Republican National
Convention this week. He had been expected to speak on Tuesday night in
the middle of a program dominated by popular Republican governors,
leading up to New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie's keynote address.
Let me guess what the subject of Jindal's speech was going to be. Um, "Federal government bad, me no like?" or "Government spend too much, me cut size of government?" or " Federal government stay out of states' business?" Or maybe "Ugh, Oop, Fire Bad!"
Kind of hard to play the austere fiscal deficit hawk while demanding more federal money at the same time.
Also, Jindal's been a little busy lately handing taxpayer money to private voucher schools that teach things like the Loch Ness Monster disproves evolution and the Klan wasn't really all that bad. (seriously!)
Mother Jones has a list of 14 wacky "facts" these schools are teaching, using textbooks from Bob Jones University Press and other right-wing bullshit publishers. A couple of examples:
Slave masters were nice guys: "A few slave holders
were undeniably cruel. Examples of slaves beaten to death were not
common, neither were they unknown. The majority of slave holders treated
their slaves well."—United States History for Christian Schools, 2nd ed., Bob Jones University Press, 1991
As if that were even possible. You by definition can not be treating well someone you are enslaving.
The KKK was A-OK: "[The Ku Klux] Klan in some areas of
the country tried to be a means of reform, fighting the decline in
morality and using the symbol of the cross. Klan targets were
bootleggers, wife-beaters, and immoral movies. In some communities it
achieved a certain respectability as it worked with politicians."—United States History for Christian Schools, 3rd ed., Bob Jones University Press, 2001
In some communities it achieved a certain respectability because those communities were made up of racist assholes.
The Great Depression wasn't as bad as the liberals made it sound: "Perhaps the best known work of propaganda to come from the Depression was John Steinbeck's The Grapes of Wrath…Other
forms of propaganda included rumors of mortgage foreclosures, mass
evictions, and hunger riots and exaggerated statistics representing the
number of unemployed and homeless people in America."—United States History: Heritage of Freedom, 2nd ed., A Beka Book, 1996
Rumors of things that were actually happening all the time all over the place? How propagandistic! (is that a word? Probably not)
This one's a Beka Book. I hadn't ever heard of Beka Books, so I looked them up.
For one thing, it's not "a Beka Book." It's an "A Beka Book," for whatever that's worth.
Anyway, here's their mission statement:
A Beka Book provides Christian schools and homeschools with
outstanding curriculum and textbooks built on a foundation of academic
excellence and Christian character training. Schools and homeschools
benefit from our treasury of textbooks and teaching materials that
reflect the very best in traditional education, comprehensive
curriculum, and eternal truths.
Like the eternal truth that great depressions aren't really all that bad.
Here's their take on Mathematics:
The text presents a Scriptural view of working, tithing, saving, paying
taxes, and budgeting time and money and gives a positive introduction to
the American free-enterprise system.
Because what better source of mathematics than the Bible, a book which never mentions anything about math!
Here's a blurb about one of their history texts:
Land I Love presents the history of America from the 1490s to the
present with special emphasis on the personalities and events that
shaped the American character. A variety of illustrations, maps, and
photographs invite students to explore the past as they read this
fascinating narrative account of U.S. history. Through the story of
America’s rise to greatness, students will learn to recognize the hand
of God in history and to appreciate the influence of Christianity in
government, economics, and society.
So, will students learn to see the hand of God in our overthrow of Allende and installation of the man for whom the phrase "death squad" was coined? Or maybe they'll see the hand of God in the Trail of Tears, or the slave trade. Or maybe the hand of God will be evident in the section about the bombing of Cambodia, or the Contra war. It all seems so very godly.
Anyway, you can pretty much expect to see this sort of thing coming soon to a school near you, because if you don't think that the Louisiana model isn't going to be used as a template by the Moral Majority types who have been taking over local school boards for the last 30 years, you are more of an optimist than I.
Horrible bag of turds Andrew Napolitano recently weighed in on the whole "legitimate rape" thing. In his defense of Todd Akin, he included this gem:
When rape results in pregnancy, the baby has the same right to life
as any child born by mutually loving parents. Only the Nazis would
punish a child for the crimes of his or her father.
18 The Lord
is longsuffering, and of great mercy, forgiving iniquity and
transgression, and by no means clearing the guilty, visiting the
iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth
generation.
Exodus 20:5 --
for I the Lord
thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the
children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me;
Exodus 34:7 --
7 Keeping
mercy for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, and
that will by no means clear the guilty; visiting the iniquity of the
fathers upon the children, and upon the children's children, unto the
third and to the fourth generation.
So, yeah, according to Judge Andrew Napolitano, God is a Nazi. If you find yourself in the vicinity of Judge Napolitano, watch out for lightning.
Whenever there is a mass shooting on the news, like the recent one in Colorado, or the Virginia Tech shooting or whatever, the gun nuts always come out with their "if only those people had been armed, they could have stopped it," or "if I'd a been there, I'd a shot that sumbitch" kind of nonsense. If only there were more gun-toting rednecks in that theater, or on that campus or wherever, this tragedy could have been avoided.
I know I'd feel safer with this guy around!
So, let's look at the most recent gun-related tragedy, the Empire State Building shooting:
Police: All Empire State shooting victims were wounded by officers
By David Ariosto, CNN
New York (CNN) -- On a busy Friday morning in
Manhattan, nine pedestrians suffered bullet or fragment wounds after
police unleashed a hail of gunfire at a man wielding a .45 caliber
pistol who had just killed a former co-worker.
The officers unloaded 16
rounds in the shadow of the Empire State Building at a disgruntled
former apparel designer, killing him after he engaged in a gunbattle
with police, authorities said.
Three passersby sustained
direct gunshot wounds, while the remaining six were hit by fragments,
according to New York Police Commissioner Ray Kelly. All injuries were
caused by police, he said Saturday.
Okay, these were cops. These two guys were highly trained in the use of firearms. And they were used to encountering scary, life-or-death situations because they were NYPD cops. And they succeeded in wounding 9 innocent bystanders while killing the shooter. These were New York City police officers, the best possible people to be involved in this sort of thing,
and they managed to shoot 9 innocent bystanders. How well do you think Cletus from the gun club might do?
Sorry, wrong Gun Club.
The guys you want sitting next to you at Batman.
Do you really think, now think seriously for a minute, do you really think that a bunch of moviegoers in a dark theater blinded by tear gas would have been able to get off a kill shot without accidentally shooting, oh, I don't know, maybe every other audience member?
Do you really think that a bunch of college kids, completely unprepared to engage in a firefight, would shoot the right guy in a moment of panic? Because if you do, I don't see how you explain trained police officers missing their target 8 different times.
At 10:30 on Monday night, Ann Romney
is scheduled to take the stage at the Republican National Convention,
in Act 1 of her husband’s four-day introduction to the nation. But tens
of millions of people will not be able to watch. . .
Advisers to Mitt Romney,
facing a blackout of the opening-night program they fastidiously
scripted to soften perceptions of the candidate, are angry.
Um, guys, seriously, they're doing you a favor. It isn't going to help your candidate to have that haughty, imperious bitch broadcast into the voters' living rooms.
A while back, I started writing a musical based on my idea of what Gilbert & Sullivan might have to say about today's political scene were they somehow alive today. I call it
Anyway, I got tired of it and stopped, but now I'm starting up again. Scene 3: The Modern Libertarian.
Enter Ron and/or Rand Paul:
I am the very model of a modern Libertarian
I've all the flawless logic of a senile centenarian
I don't believe in government
I miss no chance to bash it
But when my SSI check comes, you bet your ass I cash it!
When anyone says regulate, I say the market should decide
And when it comes to poverty, I say the market will provide.
I don't believe the government should ever interfere with us,
Except to make some rules about the contents of your uterus!
I am the very model of a modern Libertarian
My following is mostly made of college-aged contrarians
I talk about morality
I think that kindness is a vice
I think that I can make Ayn Rand compatible with Jesus Christ
I know our mythic history, George Washington and Thomas Paine
Ayn Rand and Ronald Reagan each have favored spots within my brain.
Of Austrian economics I know quite a lot, or so I'm told
At least enough to crucify this country on a cross of gold.
I've all the sensitivity of any brute barbarian
There's nothing that I hate more than a weak egalitarian
In matters of society, bourgeois or proletarian
I am the very model of a modern libertarian
Team Chaos spent the last few days on the Redneck Riviera, so posting was a bit spotty. So what happened while I was purposely not paying attention?
Well, we lost Phyllis Diller.
That's kinda depressing.
One of the last of the old showbiz legends.
Some more right-wing gun nuts killed more people which, of course, prompted absolutely no one to propose that maybe we ought to try and keep lunatics from getting military-grade assault weapons. Or at least, no one in a position to do anything about it has proposed such an idea.
Suspects in Louisiana deputy shootings tied to ‘sovereign citizen’ movement
Police say at least two of the seven suspects arrested for the fatal
shooting of two Louisiana sheriffs deputies last Thursday are connected
to the anti-government “sovereign citizen” movement.
According to WBRZ-TV,
28-year-old Kyle Joekel and 44-year-old Terry Smith had identified
themselves as part of the movement, which was classified as a domestic
terror group last year by the FBI.
Joekel and Smith, along with several members of Smith’s family and
other associates, were arrested following an ambush on authorities in
LaPlace, Louisiana, about 25 miles west of New Orleans. Deputies Brandon
Nielsen and Jeremy Triche were killed in the ensuing shootout. Two more
deputies were wounded.
A colossal asshole from Missouri said a disgusting thing about rape:
Senate Candidate and Rep. Todd Akin (R-MO) told a local television station on Sunday that “legitimate rape”
rarely produces pregnancy because “the female body has ways to try to
shut that whole thing down.” Akin cited conversations with unnamed
doctors for the bizarre claim.
I don't know what is more stunning, the naked misogyny or the blatant use of absurd junk science.
So, obviously a lot of people were offended by this gross claim, so Akin went ahead and made it worse:
AKIN: You know, Dr. Willke has just released a statement and part of his
letter, I think he just stated it very clearly. He said, of course Akin never used the word legitimate to refer to the rapist, but to false claims like those made in Roe v. Wade and I think that simplifies it….. There isn’t any legitimate rapist…. [I was] making the point that there were people who use false claims, like those that basically created Roe v. Wade.
Because, you know, pregnant women will do anything for a free abortion! Why else would they get themselves all knocked up, if not to grab a free ride on the abortion-a-whirl?
Of course, the delegation from Wingnutistan is rushing to Akin's defense:
@sevenlayercakewhat he said was medically correct. And nobody has the full video, he gets cut off. Sorry, don't believe the spin.
Who is Chris Loesch? I don't know, but I'll bet you every cent I have that he's not a fucking doctor! Because even I know that what Akin said, besides being disgusting, is absolutely NOT medically correct.
And whichever moron writes the blog "Instapundit" had this gem to add:
Yeah, candidates for the US Senate should definitely be held to the same standards as hack comedians.
And of course, raving idiot Steve King (R-His Own Ass) had to jump in:
Rep. Steve King on the Campaign Trail
Posted:
Aug 20, 2012 6:27 PM EDT
By Heather Leigh
"Todd Akin is a strong Christian man, with a wonderful family," King said.
Yes, his family would have to be saints to put up with an ass like Akin.
King supports the "No Taxpayer Funding for
Abortion Act." It would ban Federal funding of abortions except in
cases of forcible rape. Right now, Medicaid also covers abortions for
victims of statutory rape or incest - for example, a 12 year old who
gets pregnant.
Congressman King says he's not aware of any young victims like that.
"Well
I just haven't heard of that being a circumstance that's been brought
to me in any personal way, and I'd be open to discussion about that
subject matter," he said.
Yeah, that's a pretty scientific sample size, there. People who have brought up their experiences with sexual abuse to Steve King have a zero percent pregnancy rate, so that should pretty much settle that. On a similar note, I personally don't know any millionaires, so I'm pretty sure they don't exist and giving them tax breaks is therefore pretty pointless. Oh, also, Mr. King? Remember this?
In explaining himself, King argues that animals have more rights than fetuses, and suggests that liberals have so devalued life, that a man can rape a young
girl, kidnap her, force her to undergo an abortion across state lines, and then “drop her off at the swingset….and that’s not against the law in the United States of America.”
TBS had softball legend Michelle Smith announcing a baseball game which naturally brought out the assholes:
Who is woman calling the baseball game on TBS? Hope the house is clean and shirts have already been ironed...
I will make another wager, here. I will bet that Michelle Smith knows more about baseball than all of these Twiitering troglodytes combined.
What else?
Oh, Hank Williams, Jr is still a slobbering, racist disgrace to his late father's legacy:
From a review of Hank Williams Jr.'s show at the Iowa State Fair on Friday night:
Following the song "We Don't Apologize For America" a chant
of "USA, USA" broke out amongst the crowd. Williams smiled, telling the
crowd that he was their mouth piece and adding:
"We've got a Muslim president who hates farming, hates the military, hates the US and we hate him!"
The cheers that followed were loud and enthusiastic.
Wait, the beer-drinking, pork-eating Muslim hates what now? Farming? Where the hell did that come from? I mean, obviously, he hates the USA, the nation which has chosen to elect him to its highest post. Why wouldn't he hate the US? And the military, sure, why else would he briong them home from Iraq if not to better express his hatred of them all up-close and personal? But farming? He hates farming? Why, because he really dislikes food? I don't even. . . I. . . I mean. . . Jeezus, Hank, you're making the rest of the teabggers seem almost rational.
Oh, and some Ohio Republican idiot accidentally said this out loud:
“I
guess I really actually feel we shouldn’t contort the voting process to
accommodate the urban — read African-American — voter-turnout machine,”
said Doug Preisse, chairman of the county Republican Party and
elections board member who voted against weekend hours.
They breed a very special kind of asshole in Wasilla.
Via HuffPo:
Mega-Gaffes From Another Wasilla Republican
Posted: 08/16/2012 4:54 pm
But soon [Mark] Ewing distinguished himself. . . After talking about
cutting the operating budget, he cited education as one of the problems.
"We are spending millions and millions of dollars educating children
that have a hard time making their wheelchair move and, I'm sorry, but
you've got to say, 'no' somewhere. We need to educate our children, but
there are certain individuals that are just not going to benefit from an
education."
After his comment in the debate was published in The Mat-Su Valley Frontiersman, he received a lot of email. He doubled down on a local right wing radio show stating:
"Actually, you know, that was a response that isn't
politically correct. But I'm going to use a quote from Jack Nicholson
and that is, 'most people can't handle the truth.'"
That's not what I said!
Then he went on to insinuate in Facebook posts (now deleted) that he'd been misquoted by The Frontiersman
Aah, the Wasilla two-step! "I said that, I'm proud I said that, but I didn't say that and how dare you say that I said that!"
A comment on the op-ed, appearing to be from Ewing, stated that he'd
"checked the Wasilla Chamber website and realized the words in the paper
were mine and I should have made that point clear and apologized to the
Frontiersman... and also to the public. It was a poor decision on my
part to not remember what I said used to describe children with special
needs. I know now that what I meant to say and what I said were
completely different and after reading comments from a broad parental
base that all children can learn regardless of their handicap I am not
against teaching special needs children and clearly not trying to hurt
any students or parents that have a child in that situation. This
election is not worth my creditably or using a bone headed remarks that
may hurt others..." (sic)
And a new twist, the "I said that but what I meant was the opposite of what I said."
Sarah Palin would be proud.
'Joe the Plumber': 'Put a fence on the damn border and start shooting'
PRESCOTT, Ariz. -- The man nicknamed "Joe the Plumber," during the
2008 presidential campaign told crowds in Prescott the solution to
securing the border is putting up a fence and shooting at illegal
crossers.
He first made the remarks Friday night at a campaign event for
Republican state lawmaker Lori Klein, who is now running for a state
House seat in District 1.
"For years I've said, you know, put a damn fence on the border, going
to Mexico and start shooting," Samuel "Joe" Wurzelbacher told a crowd
at a fundraising dinner.
He reiterated the comments the following day at a "Patriot Rally" with
Klein, saying: "I'm running for Congress. How many congressmen or people
running for Congress have you heard, put a fence up and start shooting?
None? Well you heard it here first. Put troops on the border and start
shooting, I bet that solves our immigration problem real quick."
Because sneaking in to the country is obviously a capital offense.
he chairman of presumptive Republican presidential
nominee Mitt Romney’s national steering committee on Tuesday angrily
shouted for a CNN anchor to “put an Obama bumper sticker on your
forehead” after she tried to fact check Republican claims about Rep.
Paul Ryan’s (R-WI) plan to overhaul Medicare.
CNN’s Soledad O’Brien pointed out to Romney surrogate John Sununu
that the candidate’s plan would turn Medicare into a voucher system much
like the budget proposal offered by his vice presidential pick, Paul
Ryan.
[…]
“I understand that this is a Republican talking point because I’ve
heard it repeated over and over again,” O’Brien observed. “These numbers
have been debunked, as you know, by the Congressional Budget Office. … I
can tell you what it says. [Obama’s plan] cuts a reduction in the
expect rate of growth, which you know, not cutting budgets to the
elderly. Benefits will be improved.” “Soledad, stop this!” Sununu shouted. “All you’re
doing is mimicking the stuff that comes out of the White House and gets
repeated on the Democratic blog boards out there.”
“I’m telling you what Factcheck.com tells you, I’m telling you what
the CBO tells you, I’m telling you what CNN’s independent analysis
says,” the CNN host explained. “Put an Obama bumper sticker on your forehead when you do this!” the frustrated surrogate shot back.
“You know, let me tell you something,” O’Brien said. “There is
independent analysis that details what this is about. … And name calling
to me and somehow by you repeating a number of $716 billion, that you
can make that stick when [you say] that figure is being ‘stolen’ from
Medicare, that’s not true. You can’t just repeat it and make it true,
sir.”
(via Romney surrogate to CNN host: ‘Put an Obama bumper sticker on your forehead’ | The Raw Story)
You know, CNN has been looking for a new identity, maybe this could be it. Maybe they could be the network that calls a lie a lie. Maybe CNN could be the network that doesn't call baldfaced lying "the other side of the story." Maybe they could be the network who is biased in favor of the truth. Ms O'Brien has even provided them with a good new slogan:
I may be the only one, but I thought the opening ceremonies for the London games were a total train wreck. But they got the Ms Saigon effect by closing with Paul McCartney, so no one seems to remember the stupid choreography
Or the top-hatted men patting the grass like it was a puppy's head, then nodding contentedly as if lawn-petting were some sort of accomplishment.
No one remembers Kenneth Brannagh strutting amongst the working men as if to represent, what, the Industrial Revolution's giving rise to the wealthy industrialist douchebag?
And everyone forgets how incredibly irritating the two young people sending texts and IM's to each other while living in a house constructed of VH1 pop-up video was.
Sure, there were a couple of cool moments, like forging an Olympic ring out of molten iron, and the salute to the National Health, and Rowan Atkinson. But then there was an inflatable Voldemort and a gaggle of Mary Poppinses who completely neglected to fight him, and the whole thing was just awful.
So the closing ceremonies seemed like a good effort to right the many wrongs by concentrating on a salute to British pop music.
But then, no Stones. If you have a Beatle headlining the opening, you ought to have at least one Rolling Stone do the closing. Are you telling me that SNL can book Mick Jagger but the Olympics can't? And where was David Bowie? They played "Fashion," but would it be too much to ask that he show up to sing it himself? They did have some good musical guests, like Madness and the Pet Shop Boys, but you're touching on England's synth-pop masters and no Depeche Mode? And Annie Lenox is great, but how do you not take this opportunity to re-unite her with Dave Stewart?
You can't get Led Zeppelin back together, or Pink Floyd, or the Smiths, but the Spice Girls? Was anyone excited about a reunion of unemployed disposable pop tarts?
And speaking of disposable pop acts, why, when you are saluting bands from the Who to ELO, why in the world would you include lightweight flavor-of-the-month acts like One Direction or Jessie J? And it's not bad enough that this Jesse J person, who is I guess some sort of singer, appeared singing her own trash, but to have her join Brian May on stage to sing QUEEN? Where the fuck does she get the balls? Of course, that atrocity is nothing compared to the crime against humanity of trotting out talentless, obnoxious alleged comedian Russell Brand to do "I am the Walrus." If you felt earthquakes in London yesterday, that was rock and roll legends spinning in their graves.
Seriously, this nothing is going to do "I am the Walrus?" It was sacrilege enough to hear him covering Gene Wilder. Russell Brand taking on the Beatles? That would be like if we had the Olympics here in America and had Dane Cook come out to sing Hank Williams. Or Carrot Top do Gershwin. Or have Micheal Winslow make trumpet noises to the tune of "So What."
There's no fucking excuse for that. Seriously, if anyone reading this is from England, can I ask you? Is having produced Russell Brand something of which England is proud? Why would they trot him out onto this international stage?
Also, if you feel the need to pat tribute to Oasis, why not get a good band to cover them? I get why you wouldn't book Oasis themselves, they might not show up, or they might show up drunk and punching each other, but the singer from that "beady eye" band was just horrible. You got the Kaiser Chiefs to cover the Who. Why not someone good to cover Oasis? And as long as you're having younger bands stand in for older bands that couldn't make it, could no one do T. Rex? Inexcusable.
And how do you not include the Kinks?
Or Elvis Costello?
Or Robert Smith?
Or Mick Jones? Between the Clash and B.A.D. Mick Jones has made a hell of a contribution to the pop music of the latter half of the 20th Century.
Why not Morrisey?
Or Richard Thompson?
Or The Buzzcocks?
Or who was more influential than Wire?
Bryan Ferry was. Where was Bryan Ferry?
Hell, for that matter, why not A Flock of Seagulls? And sure, laugh all you want, but they made a hell of a lot more impact than Jesse J or whoever that rapper was that I never heard of and no one will remember next year.
And where the hell was U2? How could you not get Bono to show up for this kind of international good will event?
Where was Rod Stewart? Why not have a Faces reunion?
And what about Elton John? If Roger Daltrey wasn't going to sing "Pinball Wizard," why not have Sir Elton? Isn't he the one who sang it in the movie?
Damn right, I was!
Where was Van Morrison?
What about Eric Clapton and Jeff Beck?
I mean, if you had to maybe bump the salute to women who look pretty on runways, or people who beat on trash cans for a living to fit in Jeff Beck, Eric Clapton and Jimmy Page jamming on one stage, orthe Davies brothers performing together again, or Ozzy Ozbourne rejoining Black Sabbath, I think we could have forgiven you.