My problem with the new Planet of the Apes trailer

Well, two problems reaaly. My first problem is that they are making another Planet of the Apes movie. Didn't they already make more than enough of these silly movies in the 1970's?

 

Apparently, Monkey Lovin' was considered acceptable back then?

 And haven't they already done the obligatory "gritty reboot?"

 

And didn't we all laugh at it then? So why in the world would they think to make a new version with a completely different origin story with the "unintended consequences of science" theme popularized by Mary Shelley?

 

Why we can't have stem-cell research, because this might happen.



 


But, since the movie industry has developed a crippling fear of anything original, I guesss I shouldn't be too terribly surprised. They made a Miami Vice movie, for God'sake. And an A-Team movie. And Two Charlies' Angels movies!

But here's my main problem with the new Planet of the Apes trailer:




Okay, I get that the chimps are super-smart. And I get that they are seriously pissed off, and rightly so. And there are a lot of them, and they're very strong. But what the filmmakers seem to have forgotten is that people have guns. If a bunch of angry monkeys started tipping over cars on the Golden Gate Bridge, how long do you think it would take for the SFPD to mow them all down? Okay, maybe the SFPD isn't our best defense, but eventually, these damn dirty apes are going to wind up in East Palo Alto or Richmond, and they're going to run into these muthafukkas:

 

Or they'll wander into Oakland and run smack into these sob's:

 

Either way, there's gonna be a whole bunch of dead monkeys pretty quick.

Granted, these monkeys are pretty scary.

 

But how are they going to beat a species who have this:

 

And this:

 

And this:



I just don't see how you could make a Planet of the Apes movie that's so unrealistic!

Now this is more like it:

Who the hell put this scumbag in charge?

The Fast Fix: Grover Norquist’s effect on the debt ceiling

 

I knew this little turd had his stupid "No new taxes" pledge, and I knew some Republicans had signed it, but holy shit! Two Hundred and Forty members of Congress?  How dare they? How dare they sign an oath to a single person when they are supposed to represent the people of their district and the people of the United States in general? So even though a majority of the people want to see a compromise on the debt ceiling, even though most people want to see the Bush tax cuts expire for the richest, and most people want to end tax breaks for huge super-profitable corporations, these assholes are apparently willing to ignore the will of the people because they owe their loyalties to one little shitbag who hates taxes.

 

Bow before me, Republicans! Pledge to me your loyalty!

Don't the members of Congress take a much more serious oath upon taking office? Don't they swear to support and defend the Constitution? The Constitution which requires that we do not default on our debt payments? Shouldn't that oath supercede any brain-dead promise to a weasly little bag of scum who clearly does not have the best interests of the Nation in mind?

 

.Fuck it, I'm rich. What the hell do I care if the country goes broke?

Why is this even allowed? Isn't this a pretty blatant conflict of interest? And also just blockhead stupid. No matter the circumstances, no matter what might be best for the US of A, you swear that you will not allow even the slightest revenue increase? Because your anti-tax anti-government ideology is more important to you than the health of the US economy. Does that sound like responsible leadership to anyone?

Reuters – Wed, Jul 20, 2011

Police bust prostitution ring catering to Wall Street

 

So the entire House, Senate and the White House are all under arrest?

What the Hell is Wrong with These Guys?

Gay conservative group reaches out to Bachmann  

As gay-issue advocacy groups increase pressure on Minnesota Rep. Michele Bachmann over her views about homosexuality, the gay conservative group GOProud is requesting a meeting with the Republican presidential candidate to possibly lend a hand.

  

We're considering supporting Colonel Sanders!

In an interview with Politico, GOProud chairman Christopher Barron said he was "concerned" and "troubled" by Bachmann's record and past statements about gay issues, but would not "be part of any 'war against Michele Bachmann.'"

GOProud officials generally stress that sending a Republican to the White House trumps a candidate's view on one issue.

 

Sure, she's a cat, but she's gonna cut our taxes!

You know, I could see taking that position if the one issue where you disagree with a candidate was, say, monetary policy, or drug enforcement, or anything other than whether you personally deserve to be treated as a second-class citizen. How is that not a deal-breaker? It's like saying "my wife and I agree on almost everything except for the matter of her fucking other men. I'm certainly not going to let one little difference spoil our otherwise perfect marriage."

 

**NOTE** The preceding example has absolutely NOTHING to do with my marriage. My wife is awesome like you wouldn't believe. I was just using that as an example of an equally pathetic thing that someone, not me, could theoretically say.

GOProud's website lists 10 legislative priorities, and only one--the opposition to a federal marriage amendment--concerns gay rights.  The other nine focus on issues that could appear on any conservative group's website, such as lower taxes, support for Second Amendment rights and repealing the 2010 health care law.

Wow! It's so important to these guys to prevent people from having medical care that they would make common cause with someone who views them as undeserving of equal rights. They would rather have discrimination against them enshrined into law than have insurance companies not be able to screw people out of coverage based on pre-existing conditions. Unbelievable! What the hell is wrong with these guys?

 

And the winner for most ironically named organization is. . .

Did You Know That There Are Some People Who Actually Take Dick Morris Seriously?

So apparently, Dick Morris took the hooker's toes out of his mouth long enough to talk to Sean Hannity about the debt limit.




Nothing like two guys who know nothing about economics discussing economics in the guise of experts.

Dick Morris says there is no chance of going into default. Forget the fact that everyone who actually does know anything, from academic economists to Wall Street assholes, say that the US will absolutely default if the debt ceiling is not raised. No, let's take the word of the guy who wrote THIS:



Yeah, how did that pan out again? I can't seem to remember which one of them ended up winning the presidency. Was it the one who lost her party's primary or the one who chose not to run at all?



Seriously, has Dick Morris ever been right about anything?