Monday, April 27, 2009

One News Now

Why, oh why do I keep opening the e-mails that these people keep sending me? Am I just a masochist, or do I need material for this blog that badly?

The latest dispatch from Insanistan opens with this headline:

Napolitano should go, say lawmakers

Then the first sentence in the article reveals that it is just one lawmaker:

A Texas congressman is calling on President Obama to fire Department of Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano

John Carter, R-TX

And why would this guy want Ms Napolitano fired?
for defending the now infamous DHS report on "right-wing extremists."
Ah, of course!

Of course, only in Wingnuttia is this report considered "infamous" or in need of defending.

Here's a handy time-saver. How about, if you're a Congressman from Texas, we just go ahead and assume that you are baboon-ass crazy, and we'll all just ignore you? How would that be? Because, seriously, you have no fuckin' idea what you're talking about.

Then, there's this:

Right of conscience at issue in Iowa

which talks about the "Alliance Defense Fund," a group which is encouraging public officials in Iowa to refuse to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples based on the long-standing legal principle that you don't have to follow the law if you really don't want to.

The Alliance Defense Fund (ADF) is moving to protect the freedom-of-conscience rights of county officials in Iowa.

By court edict, homosexual "marriage" has been legalized in The Hawkeye State. Attorney Douglas Napier of ADF has helped develop a policy to protect county employees who will not provide marriage licenses on the basis of conscience.

"The Iowa attorney general [Tom Miller] has issued a misleading statement to county recorders around the state, putting a heavy-handed threat against them [and] saying if they don't issue same-sex marriage licenses, he may bring legal action against them," Napier explains. "Mr. Miller conveniently omitted any discussion of their rights of conscience or the recorders' duty to protect the rights of their employees."

Yes, Mr. Miller conveniently omitted any discussion of imaginary rights, like my right to disregard the posted speed limit because driving 55 sucks, or my right to punch Douglas Napier in the nose because, you know, c'mon! The guy's a douche!

They then go on to this :

Obama Middle East policy shows change in values
Okay, so this seems reasonable. An analysis of the differences between Bush's cowboy foreign policy and Obama's sanity. Go on. . . .

Barack Obama's obvious comfort level with leaders of un-free countries shouldn't surprise anyone. He is not only our first black president. He is also our first president who doesn't like the free country he was elected to lead and feels his job is to change it.

Ohhhh, how did i not see this coming? This is going to be about Chavez, isn't it?

Obama's cordial encounter with Venezuelan thug Hugo Chavez, his bow of deference in London to the Saudi Arabian king, are extensions of behavior we have always seen on the black left. Jesse Jackson openly embraced Chavez, as well as having maintained relations with the likes of Libyan dictator Muammar Qaddafi and Yasser Arafat.

Okay, first of all, Venezuela is not an "un-free country." (un-free? really? Jeez, don't you own a thesaurus?) Venezuela is what you call a Democracy. The voters of Venezuela elected Hugo Chavez. You don't have to like him, but no matter how much you un-like him, that won't make him any less legitimate.

Jesse Jackson openly embraced Chavez, as well as having maintained relations with the likes of Libyan dictator Muammar Qaddafi and Yasser Arafat.

This should be kept in mind as our president now makes his own effort to bring peace to the Middle East.

Riiiiiight, we should definitely keep in mind what Jesse Jackson may have done, since that would, of course, be a predictor of what Obama might do? or something? I guess? Um, I gotta tellyou, correspondent Star Parker, you're sounding just a teensy bit racist here.

Really? Wow!

Ok, never mind about the whole racist thing, heheheh!

It should be clear to anyone conscious and watching that central to Obama's Middle East strategy is to disabuse the long-held notion that there exists a "special relationship" between the United States and Israel.

The Arab world has always resented the U.S.-Israel connection and has felt that because of this, Americans would never be an honest broker in Arab-Israeli negotiations.
Gee, where would they get that idea?

Obama is out to change this. His first hundred days, from his very first television interview -- given to an Arab television network -- have focused on warming up our relations with Islamic nations and cooling down our Israeli ones.

Ooohhh, sure would hate to have warm relations with Islamic nations. It's so much more fun to be in constant conflict!

The great American writer Mark Twain visited the Holy Land in 1867 before Jews made their miraculous return to their ancient homeland. He reported that there was nothing there. "Palestine is desolate and unlovely."

And as everyone knows, if a land is "unlovely," it's free for the taking! Help yourself to Oklahoma!

There's more, but I just don't have the strength.