Tuesday, August 21, 2012

I'm Back, What'd I miss?

Team Chaos spent the last few days on the Redneck Riviera, so posting was a bit spotty.  So what happened while I was purposely not paying attention?

Well, we lost Phyllis Diller.
That's kinda depressing.
One of the last of the old showbiz legends.

Some more right-wing gun nuts killed more people which, of course, prompted absolutely no one to propose that maybe we ought to try and keep lunatics from getting military-grade assault weapons. Or at least, no one in a position to do anything about it has proposed such an idea.

Suspects in Louisiana deputy shootings tied to ‘sovereign citizen’ movement

Police say at least two of the seven suspects arrested for the fatal shooting of two Louisiana sheriffs deputies last Thursday are connected to the anti-government “sovereign citizen” movement.
According to WBRZ-TV, 28-year-old Kyle Joekel and 44-year-old Terry Smith had identified themselves as part of the movement, which was classified as a domestic terror group last year by the FBI.
Joekel and Smith, along with several members of Smith’s family and other associates, were arrested following an ambush on authorities in LaPlace, Louisiana, about 25 miles west of New Orleans. Deputies Brandon Nielsen and Jeremy Triche were killed in the ensuing shootout. Two more deputies were wounded.

A colossal asshole from Missouri said a disgusting thing about rape:

GOP Senate Candidate: Victims Of ‘Legitimate Rape’ Won’t Become Pregnant

Senate Candidate and Rep. Todd Akin (R-MO) told a local television station on Sunday that “legitimate rape” rarely produces pregnancy because “the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.” Akin cited conversations with unnamed doctors for the bizarre claim.

I don't know what is more stunning, the naked misogyny  or the blatant use of absurd junk science.

So, obviously a lot of people were offended by this gross claim, so Akin went ahead and made it worse:

Akin Clarifies ‘Legitimate Rape’ Comments: Women Make ‘False Claims’ About Being Raped

Because, you know, pregnant women will do anything for a free abortion! Why else would they get themselves all knocked up, if not to grab a free ride on the abortion-a-whirl?

Of course, the delegation from Wingnutistan is rushing to Akin's defense:

what he said was medically correct. And nobody has the full video, he gets cut off. Sorry, don't believe the spin. 

Who is Chris Loesch? I don't know, but I'll bet you every cent I have that he's not a fucking doctor! Because even I know that what Akin said, besides being disgusting, is absolutely NOT medically correct.

And whichever moron writes the blog "Instapundit" had this gem to add:


August 19, 2012

BY THE TIME I NOTICED THIS STORY, IT WAS OVER, but Todd Akin’s “legitimate rape” remarks pale in comparison with Whoopi Goldberg’s.

Yeah, candidates for the US Senate should definitely be held to the same standards as  hack comedians.
And of course, raving idiot Steve King (R-His Own Ass) had to jump in:

Rep. Steve King on the Campaign Trail

Posted: Aug 20, 2012 6:27 PM EDT By Heather Leigh

"Todd Akin is a strong Christian man, with a wonderful family," King said.

Yes, his family would have to be saints to put up with an ass like Akin.

King supports the "No Taxpayer Funding for Abortion Act."  It would ban Federal funding of abortions except in cases of forcible rape. Right now, Medicaid also covers abortions for victims of statutory rape or incest - for example, a 12 year old who gets pregnant. Congressman King says he's not aware of any young victims like that.

"Well I just haven't heard of that being a circumstance that's been brought to me in any personal way, and I'd be open to discussion about that subject matter," he said.

Yeah, that's a pretty scientific sample size, there. People who have brought up their  experiences with sexual abuse to Steve King have a zero percent pregnancy rate, so that should pretty much settle that. On a similar note, I personally don't know any millionaires, so I'm pretty sure they don't exist and giving them tax breaks is therefore pretty pointless.  Oh, also, Mr. King? Remember this?
In explaining himself, King argues that animals have more rights than fetuses, and suggests that
liberals have so devalued life, that a man can rape a young girl, kidnap her, force her to undergo an abortion across state lines, and then “drop her off at the swingset….and that’s not against the law in the United States of America.” 

TBS had softball legend Michelle Smith announcing a baseball game which naturally brought out the assholes:

  1. Who is woman calling the baseball game on TBS? Hope the house is clean and shirts have already been ironed...
  2. jwilliams310
    Why is there a woman calling this Dodgers-Braves game on TBS?? #thisisnotaleagueoftheirown
  3. Mark_uhhhhh
    @MLB_TBS Listening to a woman commentating on a baseball game is worse than having my nuts in a vice grip. She's clueless about the game.
  4. JLuc34
    Ew why is there a girl announcing baseball on tbs
  5. K_Train08
    Come on now...TBS has a girl announcer for the braves game and she's talking about softball.... #notokay #dontcare
  6. KMO_its_NBD
    I am sorry TBS, I just can't listen to a woman commentate a baseball game...even if she is a former softball player. Ditch the chick
  7. humblyreturning
    This softball talk on #TBS is a joke. I am no chauvinist but get this woman to stop talking during the #Braves game. Is this a sick joke?
  8. Nolan_Banales15
    There's a woman color analyst announcing the Dodgers/Braves game on TBS. #whatthehell
  9. Tylercutchall
    @bbarbz I found a commentator worse then the Nats... this bitch on tbs doing the braves game is terrible
  10. bbarbz
    @Tylercutchall the fact that it's a woman doing the broadcasting was all I needed to hear to know she's horrible
  11. jeff_poor
    Dear TBS: Why is there a woman in the broadcast booth of #Braves/Dodgers talking about Title IX and how to throw a softball? #TBSfail
  12. japplegate8
    I hope this is the last time #TBS puts this woman on TV. I bet your ratings are suffering.
  13. AlexanderKarlis
    I'm sorry but this woman announcer on @TBS is a fucking idiot. She's so simple minded and naive
  14. nocturnoll
    There's a woman commentator on tbs sunday baseball #whatsthisworldcomingto
I will make another wager, here. I will bet that Michelle Smith knows more about baseball than all of these Twiitering troglodytes combined.

What else?
Oh, Hank Williams, Jr is still a slobbering, racist disgrace to his late father's legacy:

From a review of Hank Williams Jr.'s show at the Iowa State Fair on Friday night:

Following the song "We Don't Apologize For America" a chant of "USA, USA" broke out amongst the crowd. Williams smiled, telling the crowd that he was their mouth piece and adding:

"We've got a Muslim president who hates farming, hates the military, hates the US and we hate him!"

The cheers that followed were loud and enthusiastic.
 Wait, the beer-drinking, pork-eating Muslim hates what now? Farming? Where the hell did that come from? I mean, obviously, he hates the USA, the nation which has chosen to elect him to its highest post. Why wouldn't he hate the US? And the military, sure, why else would he briong them home from Iraq if not to better express his hatred of them all up-close and personal? But farming? He hates farming? Why, because he really dislikes food? I don't even. . . I. . . I mean. . . Jeezus, Hank, you're making the rest of the teabggers seem almost rational.

 Oh, and some Ohio Republican idiot accidentally said this out loud:

“I guess I really actually feel we shouldn’t contort the voting process to accommodate the urban — read African-American — voter-turnout machine,” said Doug Preisse, chairman of the county Republican Party and elections board member who voted against weekend hours.
PlunderBund (http://s.tt/1lc3w)
So, that's at least some of what I missed. I think I was a lot happier not knowing.