Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Most Insane Headline of the Day

Apparently, the Washington Examiner is an actual newspaper in some city called Washington Deecee, or something. (story on Wonkette)

The Crazy Lady is Back

The first time I stumbled on to Crazy Lady Debbie Schlussel's website, she was freaking out over the cartoon character Tinkerbell (seriously).

The next time, she was being a total ass about Haiti. (here)

What has she found to freak out over now? The Navy.

With Women, Obama Turning U.S. Navy Into “Village People’s” Navy

Wow! So wrong right off the bat! I'm no expert in the various immaginary branches of the military. I couldn't distinguish between McHale's Navy and Arnie's Army, but I can tell you for sure that there are NO women in the Village People's Navy.


Several months ago, I told you about Barack Obama’s boneheaded plan to put women in Navy submarines, where there are very close quarters, and thus, sanitary and sex issues. It’s not a good idea. And as I noted, when women were put on ships, it immediately resulted in many of them getting pregnant, with many of them having to be sent home during the first Gulf War on one ship alone.

Which means that every woman in every submarine will always get pregnant every time always.

Women on subs will be a huge headache. It’s only just starting. Periods and pregnancies do not belong on Navy submarines.

Of course the good news is, if you have one, you don't have the other.

How many women on subs will get pregnant? And who will end up paying the tab for sending them home? You will. Social experiments in the military are always a disaster. And the U.S. taxpayer is always the loser.

Yeah, social experiments in the military totally suck. Like, remember when Truman integrated the Armed Forces? He tried to make black soldiers and white soldiers fight together in the same unit? And remember how all the black soldiers got pregnant, or something bad? Something bad must have happened, right? I mean, it's not like we still have interracial military companies, right?

Operation Petticoat doesn’t even work in liberal Hollywood’s movies. It won’t work in real life.

Because light-hearted screwball comedies are a pretty good gauge of what will and won't work in the real world. Didn't Adam's Rib teach us all we need to know about why a DA should not prosecute a defendant represented by his wife? And now that's the rule. It's called the Spencer Tracy Rule. Look it up!

Basically, what it comes down to, is if you have men and women in the same space, they're going to fuck. There's just no way around it, that's just a scientific fact. Even though there is pretty much no privacy on a submarine, if there are men to be fucked, Navy women will find a way! And contraception? Pfft! maybe those wimpy Air Force chicks use contraception, we Navy gals prefer unintended pregnancies, and the opportunity to contact STD's! What fun!

Dang, this Debbie Schlussel is some kind of crazy idiot!

P.S. If you want to check out her diatribe, here's the link. Scroll down to the end and you'll see a Village People video with the caption "By the way, here’s a little music video about what Barack Obama is trying to do to the U.S. Navy . . ." just to drive home her point that having men and women serving together is somehow going to turn the Navy gay. Freakin idiot!