Monday, January 13, 2020

Conservatives are never funny

Exhibit G or H or Z or whatever, Joey Weatherford. These are his attempts at humor from last week.

War crime

Okay, so first of all, I have no idea whether AOC and/or Ilhan Omar said that Trump is a monster for targeting cultural sites or that targeting cultural sites is a war crime. But it's true. There's no joke here, because either they didn't say that which gives you no basis for a joke, or they did say a thing that is one hundred percent true and correct which isn't funny. It is absolutely a war crime to target cultural sites and to do so would be monstrous. Cultural sites are places where a lot of people tend to be. Civilian people. Innocent people. Families with children. Attacking these sites would be the moral equivalent of the Iranians firing missiles into Disneyland.

Then there's the "punch line." AOC says "I didn't even know there were 52 Irans." The only way this would be remotely funny is if she had said something similar to this at some point. But since she has not, there is no humor in this. It's just like saying "wouldn't it be funny if this person we don't like said something really stupid?" And that's not a joke.


This just doesn't even make sense. I don't have the slightest clue what the joke is even supposed to be here.

Keep driving

Nancy Pelosi is the speaker of the House of Representatives. She is not the mayor of San Francisco or the governor of California. "Cleaning" her district does not fall within her bailiwick.


So. . . I guess this is based on the assumption that everyone hates the popular two-term President Barack Obama? Like THAT would be the reason people wouldn't vote for Biden? Not his support for the illegal invasion of Iraq, not the bankruptcy bill, not his stated desire to keep locking people up for marijuana because he thinks it's a "gateway drug," but because he might appoint Barack Obama to the Supreme Court? The man who left office with a 60 percent approval rating?

Awaken sleeping giant

Sleeping giant?
When has this giant slept?
Let's see, we invaded Afghanistan, Iran's neighbor to the East. Then we invaded Iraq, their neighbor to the West.Then we got involved in the bloodbath in Syria, just to the Northwest of Iran, all the while with the neo-cons and PNAC lunatics rattling sabres at Iran, designating them part of the "axis of evil."
Then we assassinate an Iranian general who was a national hero to the people of Iran. So Iran retaliates by firing some missiles into unoccupied military bases in Iraq, a country we are continuing to occupy illegally. And Joey Weatherford's take on this is "oh, now you've done it! We were just sitting here being totally cool, not meaning you any harm, but now you went and started something!" What a fucking moron.

Do your job

The feds will step in?
The feds will step in?
What does that mean? Does this genius think that the federal government can just take over a state if they don't think it's being run properly? Does he think the federal government works like Michigan and can just remove the governor from power and replace him with an "emergency manager?"

If Gavin Newsom is doing a poor job as governor (and he may or may not be, I don't know) they have these things in California called "elections," and the people of the state can vote to replace him. I remember the last time California had a governor that people weren't happy with. His name was Gray Davis. And Darrell Issa got a recall election to remove Davis, hoping that he would be able to buy the governorship. As it happened, the people of California decided that they had so enjoyed it the last time that a washed-up movie actor had been governor that they elected Arnold Schwarzenegger governor. So if Newsom is really that bad at his job, just be a little patient, and someone will put Jon Voigt in charge.

But the feds are NOT going to "step in." You'd think that, given how passionately right-wing idiots feel about states' rights, they'd be the last people who would want to see the "feds" "step in." It's almost as if they don't actually have any principles or really believe in anything other than gaining and holding on to power.

Also, since when are threats funny?