Monday, January 2, 2012

Fun With Real Quotes

In which I add writer's embellishments to some of the dumbest quotes of 2011.


And I said "Oh, hi Mom!"

And will continue to be for the next four years.

Because no one is more secular and atheist than radical Muslims!


Hear ye, Hear ye!

In my capacity as King, I hereby decree that henceforth, the first month of each year shall be known as "JONESUARY!"

This is, of course, to honor "The Voice," or as he is more commonly known
"Tom Mother-Fuckin' Jones!"

If you've never seen Tom Jones perform live, do yourself a favor and catch him next time he comes around. Or take a trip to Vegas or Atlantic City or Reno or wherever to see the man before it's too late. The man is 70 years old, there may not be a lot of chances left.

We've seen him a few times, most recently last year on his "Praise & Blame" Tour, and he still has the golden pipes. I know, when people think of Tom Jones, they think of kitsch, they think of the guy with the Greg Brady 'fro and the open shirt shakin' his money-maker for a bunch of horny old ladies, but A) looking past the gigolo act, he's always been a great singer and B) he doesn't really do that anymore. The man has dignity. He's not this guy anymore:

Now he's this guy:

And if you haven't heard his latest album, "Praise and Blame," check it out on his MySpace Page, or listen to a couple of samples below: