Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Death Metal Rooster!

Stolen from http://www.mockpaperscissors.com/

Jennifer Lopez should STFU

Because if this is what you have to say on any subject:

“And I guess deep down I really felt like either this is not going to happen for me or it is. You know what I mean? And if it is, it will. And if it’s not, it’s not going to.”

It's time to take your mouth off of auto-pilot.

Honestly, it almost doesn't even matter what subject she was on, she could have been talking about bagels or penguins or speedometers. As it happens, she was talking about in vitro fertilization, which actually does make it even worse. Because this ridiculous pull-quote was spoken in defense of this position:

Lopez told Elle magazine in their February issue that she decided to forgo in vitro fertilization treatments while trying to get pregnant herself. “I … believe in God and I have a lot of faith in that, so I just felt like you don’t mess with things like that,”

So you're trying to tell me that your kids were conceived naturally. You expect me to believe that Marc Anthony

had sex with a woman? Come on!

Seriously, though, if you're going to take a stand on an issue, you really ought to consider having a well-reasoned argument that doesn't meet both definitions of tautology:


–noun, plural -gies.
1. needless repetition of an idea, esp. in words other than those of the immediate context, without imparting additional force or clearness

a compound propositional form all of whose instances are true, as “A or not A.”

See, it's kind of pointless to say "either it won't happen or it will" unless you're going to examine the consequences of either possibility, such as "if it doesn't happen then (fill in the blank) and if it does happen, then (fill in the blank)"

It's really stupid to start off with "it will or it won't" and then follow up with "if it will it will and if it won't it won't" That's the sort of prattle one would expect to hear from someone who has absolutely nothin to say but is in love with the sound of her own voice.

Sad News

Three Questions About Mark McGwire

#1) Now that McGwire has admitted to taking illegal steroids and lying about it, even perjuring himself before Congress, will he be prosecuted? Or is that treatment reserved for Barry Bonds?

FILE - This April 17, 2004, file photo shows former St. Louis Cardinals baseball player Mark McGwire getting emotional during pre-game ceremonies honoring him,  before the Cardinals game against the  Colorado Rockies in St. Louis.  McGwire said in a statement sent to The Associated Press on Monday, Jan. 11, 2010,  that he used steroids on and off for nearly a decade and he was apologizing.(AP Photo/Kyle Ericson, File)
"The toughest thing is my wife, my parents, close friends have had no idea that I hid it from them all this time,"

#2) Really? He really thinks he HID his steroid use? Really?

FILE - This is a Sept. 27, 1998, file photo showing St. Louis Cardinals slugger Mark McGwire smiling as he rounds the bases after hitting his 70th home run of the season in the seventh inning against the Montreal Expos, at Busch Stadium in St. Louis.  McGwire has finally come clean, admitting he used steroids when he broke baseball's home run record in 1998. McGwire said in a statement sent to The Associated Press on Monday, Jan. 11, 2010, that he used steroids on and off for nearly a decade and he was apologizing. (AP Photo/Amy Sancetta, File)

This is how you look when you're hiding steroid use? Pretty sneaky, sis!

#3) Why was everyone willing to take McGwire's word for it all these years that he was not using steroids? Why was that courtesy extended to McGwire but not Bonds? (Not that Bonds deserved it either)


I know people will say it's because Barry Bonds is kind of a jerk, but it's not like McGwire is exactly a fun guy either. He has a well-earned reputation for surliness. But for some reason, the sports media decided that Mark McGwire was the all-American hero and Bonds was just some overpriveleged punk. I would hate to think that that was based on skin color, but I don't know what else to think.