Sunday, October 24, 2010

Crazy Candidate of the Day

Today's Crazy Candidate is Arizona's Jesse Kelly.

Jesse Kelly is a teabagging Libertarian running for Congress from Arizona's 8th District. Jesse don't like no government regulations, and if a few people have to get Salmonella, well that's just their problem.

Via C&L:
During a question-and-answer period, a voter asked Kelly about the recent salmonella outbreak, which led to recall of more than half a billion eggs.The voter asked if Kelly, if elected, would he help pass a law that would allow the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) and other government agencies to shut down companies that have too many safety violations, such as the companies that allowed millions of eggs that sickened people to be sold to the public.

Sounds reasonable. Sounds more than reasonable, it really sounds like a no-brainer. Why aren't we able to shut down companies like Massey Energy, Deepwater Horizon, and Farmer Bob's Salmonelleggs when they have demonstrated repeatedly that they don't give a shit about safety?

Kelly responded that he doesn’t “believe what we’re lacking right now is more regulations on companies,” complaining that “you could probably spit on the grass and get arrested by the federal government by now.”

We don't need any dang guvmint reg'lations, and to prove it, here's a blatantly untrue scenario I just thought up!

When the voter followed up by asking, “Who’s protecting us?” Kelly responded, “It’s our job to protect ourselves.”

Seriously, if you don't have the scientific acumen to be able to test your food for salmonella before you eat it you really have no business eating eggs!

And when the lady asks “Am I supposed to go to a chicken farmer and say I’d like you to close down because all of your birds are half dead?” Kelly first demonstrates a stunning level of ignorance saying "I don't know much about chicken farmers or salmonella outbreaks. I really haven't heard much about that" (paraphrase) as if that's a defense. Then spouts some ridiculous completely untrue bullshit about regulations:

But I know this: Every part of our economy that is regulated by the government doesn’t have fewer disasters, it has more”

Does he have any evidence, any statistics to back this up? No. He does have a bizzare interpretation of the recent oil spill to offer as support for his stupid bullshit argument.
Kelly claims that the BP oil spill was the fault of the government because they wouldn't allow the oil companies to drill directly in the offshore fisheries. Never mind that BP consciously decided to violate safety procedures. Never mind that their penny-wise approach led them to omit a blowout valve that might have prevented the disaster. No, the real problem is that they couldn't just set up an oil derrick next to Bubba Gump's shrimp boat.

Check out the video:

This is what we're going to get if, as predicted, the teabaggers and their allies in the "mainstream" Republican Party retake the House and/or Senate this year. No regulations, if you get salmonella it's your own fault. Better a few people die of food poisoning than our libertarian ideals be compromised! No rules for oil companies, they can drill wherever they want and we'll just trust that they know best. And no matter how fucked up things get, we'll just wrap ourselves in the comfortable delusion that government interference would make it even worse.

Someone Just Said Something Dumber Than George Will

George Will is not off the hook, because this someone was Kim Kardashian, exhibit A in the case of Eevrything That is Wrong With Modern American Society. George is supposed to be intelligent. We almost expect an empty bikini like Kim Kardashian to say smothing like this:

"I hate when women wear the wrong foundation colour, it might be the worst thing on the planet when they wear their make up too light," she says

Famine, disease and warfare might also contend for the title of "worst thing on the planet," but yeah, the smart money's on women wearing the wrong foundation. Great going, Ray-J's urinal! Way to identify the big problems facing the planet.

George Will Makes the All-Time Dumbest Political Prediction


Northern Iowans are Minnesota Twins and Minnesota Vikings fans. This fact could be portentous 16 months from now when the Iowa caucuses occur and
Minnesota's two-term governor, Tim Pawlenty , probably will be seeking the
Republican presidential nomination.

Seriously? Are all Iowans this retarded, or just Republican Caucus participants?
You really think that Iowans are going to look at the slate of candidates and think, "Hmm, Pawlenty, he's from Minnesota, right? Hey, so are the Vikings! He's got my vote! I was going to vote for Newt Gingrich, but I really hate the Falcons!"

Now he may end up being right in a way, Pawlenty might do well in the Iowa caucus, but if he does, Will better not say "I told you so." That would be like saying "I knew the Giants would beat the Phillies because Orange is a way stronger color than red!" If I had predicted the Giants win for that reason, I would still be an idiot even though they did win.

Oh, but the stupid isn't done yet. Because Will goes on to add this:

His mild manner seems to appeal to some jalapeƱo-flavored conservatives. A new
biography of Rush Limbaugh says that, so far, Pawlenty is second only to Sarah
Palin as Limbaugh's choice for 2012.

So how does that bode well for Pawlenty? Seems like anyone idiotic enough to let Limbaugh influence their vote would go Palin. Assuming that he hasn't quit the race before their state's primary.

Oh, and also this:

Tall (6 feet 3), slender and rarely strident, Pawlenty probably is the only
potential president who will announce: "I'm not exactly Lady Gaga."

One would assume that no candidate would feel the need to point that out.