Monday, October 19, 2009

The Crazy Lady has Too Much Time On her Hands

The crazy lady is named Debbie Schlussel.

And when Debbie is not busy modeling her biker mama - sheriff of Israel vest,

Or cuddling with Sean Hannity,

She has her own website. Which people read. Really!

And she writes about important things.

Like Tinkerbell.

The Disney character.


See, this is the way most of us remember Tinkerbell :

Tiny skirt, bare legs, low-cut top, really not the sort of outfit you'd want to wear if you were going to be flying overhead, am I right, ladies? Also, not an outfit you would want to wear if you would like to not be mistaken for an underaged sex worker.

So Disney decided to give Ms Bell a new outfit for their latest straight-to -video masterpiece.

Seems reasonable, right?

Now she can fly around in a non-hoohoo-exposing skirt, and not have to worry about popping out of her top. Seems like people should be happy that their little daughters get to see aTinkerbell who isn't always half-naked.

But no.

Reasonable? Debbie Schlussel doesn't do reasonable.

To Debbie Schlussel, the new outfit represents some sort of triumph of the pro-gay Muslim feminist agenda? or something? Idon't know. let's let Ms Schlussel explain her objection to a cartoon character's outfit.

Tinkerbell Gone Butch: Disney Revamps Glamorous Nymph Into Tomboy

By Debbie Schlussel

Either Disney is trying to appease “modest” Muslims or they’ve gone the way of the rest of Hollywood and are trying to make their feminine characters more masculine.

Right, because when you are making a sequel to Peter Pan, your primary target market is the hijab-wearing observant Muslim demographic.

And, clearly Hollywood is making female characters more masculine. Why just look at these recent films!

Yeah, what a bunch of butchy tomboys are coming out of Hollywood these days. Cooking, falling in love with vampires, wearing animal-print dresses. How can you even tell the boys from the girls anymore?

Either way, the new and unimproved uniform and image of Tinker Bell leaves a lot to be desired from the formerly cute and feminine minidress clad nymph.

Right, the new Tinkerbell is so not cute! You know, except that she is. But clearly she oughta be showing more skin. Come on, Tinkerbell, the guys aren't paying to see you act!

The new image is butch and silly.

I'll give you silly, seeing as how her outfit is made of leaves, but butch? Really? Because she's not flitting around in a skirt that would make a hooker blush, that makes her "butch"? Really?

Gone is the cute strapless green dress, the magic wand, and very visible angel wings.

As you stated moments ago, Tinkerbell is a nymph. Not an angel.

Gone are the girly shoes, and now, instead, there are lace up boots reminiscent of the Jolly Green Giant, Robin Hood, or an elf. No, your mother doesn’t wear hiking boots. Your Tinker Bell does.

Yes my mother does wear hiking boots. When she's hiking. You got a problem with that?

And what Tinkerbell is wearing are hardly hiking boots. Have you ever seen hiking boots with pom-poms on them?

Oh, and now, there’s this stupid-looking visor/hat contraption, which I predict will, someday in the future, morph into a hijab.

Wow. I predict that you will never predict anything correctly ever. And a lot of women wear visors. Go watch a softball game sometime. The visor keeps the sun out of her eyes without giving her "hat-head."

Disney said it wanted to give “Tink” a tomboyish look. Uh, talk about overdoing it. The new Tinker Bell could be dating Rosie O’Donnell.

Right, because any woman who dresses in a practical outfit is obviously a big ol' lesbian! And so what if she were? (I prefer to think of cartoon characters as asexual, but since you brought it up) What if Tinkerbell had a crush on Wendy instead of Peter? How would that be any of your business? Tinkerbell is entitled to have a private life!

There’s nothing wrong with rebranding something to keep up with the times, but turning a charming, cute girly character into some masculine, butch action star is stupid. Unless your audience is strictly WNBA.

Because every woman who has ever played sports is a total lesbian!

Honestly, you really think this:

is butch and masculine?

If you’re a parent who thinks the new covered up version is a welcome change in a sexualized world, think again.

No, don't. You got it right the first time, parent. Why exactly should we think again?

. . . .think again. Tinker Bell has been wearing a skimpy dress for decades

And this is relevant how? Cartoons featured characters in blackface for decades, should that also not have been allowed to change?

Tinker Bell has been wearing a skimpy dress for decades (watch the slide show). That’s what nymphs who fly around with magic wands do. This isn’t about modesty, or she’d be wearing baggy clothes and they wouldn’t have been in talks with a porn star [Paris Hilton]to play her.

I don't know how to break this to you, but nymphs who fly around with magic wands are imaginary! So there really is no data to support your claim. You might imagine nymphs flying around half-naked, I would imagine them wearing jet packs and space suits. Also, it may surprise you to learn that porn stars are capable of being fully dressed. Remember that show Roseanne? The waitress who worked in Rosanne's sandwich shop? That was infamous porn star Traci Lords. She was in several episodes and not once did she disrobe or perform any lewd acts on camera. I'm quite sure that if Disney had signed Paris Hilton to play the part of Tinkerbell, they would have supplied her with appropriate wardrobe.

This isn’t about putting your girls in a less sexually-saturated world. It’s about putting them in a more emasculated one, where the men are girls and the Tinker Bells are men.

Seriously? You think the disney corporation is part of some evil plot to emasculate the world? (since just over half the world's population is female, I'm not really sure how that would work) And how did the men become girls? Did they also change Peter Pan's outfit? Did they make it somehow gayer than the original?

And that’s never a good thing. As I always say, matriarchical societies die. They simply don’t have staying power.

Okay, if you're going to make a claim like that, you really have to have some evidence to back it up. Where is your research? The fact that you always say something doesn't make it true. And neither does the fact that to you it seems like it should be or must be true because it fits in with your peculiar ideology.

And by the way, every society dies out eventually. Seen any Etruscans lately? When's the last time you met an Inca or a Babylonian?

Matriarchal societies (and yes, the word is matriarchal, not matriarchical) have no staying power? Well, if most women were like debbie Schlussel, then that would probably be true. But if you had smart women in charge, women like, say Hilary Clinton, Barbara Boxer, Nancy Pelosi, etc. I'd have to think that things would go just fine. How much worse could they do than the guys?

Butch Disney characters for girls is not a positive development.

And we know this because Debbie Schlussel has declared it to be so. You know, Deb, I have 3 nieces and I would way rather have them look up to WNBA players than a half-naked nymph. Although I would rather they saw the cartoon nymph as a role model rather than someone like you.