Saturday, August 4, 2012

How did Trump get my E-mail?

How did this show up in my in-box?

The Trump Effect

Why America's Most Famous Billionaire
May Soon Prove to Be Its Most Influential



Billionaire Donald Trump has put his celebrity status and business power behind Mitt Romney 

Business power? what does that even mean? How is there no explanation of that term? What is "business power" and how is it something that could be "put behind" a candidate?

and with his undeniable appeal among independent voters,

A voting bloc made up of the half-dozen or so people who don't loathe Donald Trump. (All of whom work for CNN)

and with his undeniable appeal among independent voters, a Newsmax magazine special report finds that he may prove to be a political kingmaker come this November. 

Ooooh, Newsmax. Now it makes sense. The online magazine for people who think the moon landing was fake and professional wrestling is real. 

Newsmax magazine's report — "The Trump Effect" — has just been released and reveals Donald Trump's pivotal role in the GOP primary and how he is working behind the scenes to engineer a victory for Mitt Romney. 

Oh, his pivotal role? His pivotal role? You mean waiting until it became obvious that Mitt Romney was inevitably going to be the nominee before jumping in to endorse him? That pivotal role? And when has Trump ever done anything "behind the scenes?" He's been shoving his ugly mug in front of any TV camera he can find to trot out the embarrassing birther crap over and over no matter how many times he's been debunked.Engineer a victory for Romney? If Romney wins, it will be in spite of the albatrosses around his neck with names like Trump, Nugent, and Jameson.

First Lady of Porn Jenna Jameson Endorses Mitt Romney for President

"I'm very looking forward to a Republican being back in office," the ex-porn queen recently told CBS' San Francisco affiliate. "When you're rich, you want a Republican in office." 

Jenna Jameson  
Less embarrassing than Trump.

On a side note, how pathetic is it that Romney not only accepts, but actively seeks out the endorsement of someone like Ted Nugent? He had to go meet and interview with Nugent before getting the seal of approval of Mr. "Yank Me Crank Me." The man who wants to be president goes groveling to the guy who waves around machine guns while threatening the Speaker of the House and two US Senators? The guy who admits he shit and pissed himself to get out of going to VietNam?  The guy who made a living singing songs about vaginas while wearing a loincloth? That's the guy whose approval you need to run for president? What a country!

So how in the hell did Newsmax magazine get the idea that Donald Trump is in a position to be come some sort of a kingmaker?

The Newsmax magazine report features Klein's exclusive interview with Trump

Oh, of course. They asked Trump. 
In this week's Newsmax, our sources tell us that Donald Trump is the world's greatest lover, a world-class athlete, and is smarter than science! Yes, our source is Donald Trump, why do you ask? He's the greatest, most luxurious source the world has ever seen!

It also reveals the surprising results of a Newsmax poll that provides a unique picture of the "Trump voters" — independent voters in key swing states who listen to Donald Trump. 

Pictured: Both of them

 Newsmax includes incisive commentary from such experts as Bill O'Reilly, George Will, Kathleen Parker, Michael Reagan, Christopher Ruddy, Ben Stein, Dr. Laura and David Limbaugh — to name a few. 

Jeezus, you really got the right-wing farm team workin' for ya there. You couldn't even get the top Limbaugh.

This edition of Newsmax magazine also includes:
  • Hidden welfare: disability claims soar under Obama 
You know, I've been on disability. I was laid up for a couple of months after an accident. It is NOT welfare. I paid into disability insurance before I was on it, and I'm paying into it now. It comes out of my paycheck. So fuck you, Newsmax.

  • Mayors take action against bloated union pensions
  • Corruption laws hurting U.S. businesses 
If our businesses aren't going to be allowed to be corrupt, how can they expect to survive? And what's with these union guys expecting to collect on the pensions they earned during their working years?

  • The weight culprit: high-fructose corn syrup linked to obesity

What a scoop! Wait, this isn't 2005!

  • Campaign '12: Wisconsin could go red this year
Yeah, Wisconson's totally on the verge of going red! Wait, this isn't 1955!
( you know, cuz back then, "Red" meant that. . . oh, ask your grandpa, he probably got that one)

  • Mark McKinnon: GOP should woo independent voters
Brilliant! Also, the Olympic athletes should try to win medals, and vegetarians should avoid eating meat.

Ben Stein says Newsmax reveals the “unafraid, uncomplicated, bare-knuckles truth about today’s dangerous world.” 

And who would have a more objective view of Newsmax than a guy who gets paid by Newsmax? Which this Newsmax promo pointed out itself just like 2 paragraphs ago! Remember: Newsmax includes incisive commentary from such experts as Bill O'Reilly, George Will, Kathleen Parker, Michael Reagan, Christopher Ruddy, Ben Stein, 

You can't get a reccomendation from someone a bit less biased?

Mike Reagan, the elder son of the late President Ronald Reagan and chairman and president of The Reagan Legacy Foundation, says: “I guarantee that you’ll love Newsmax magazine. The liberal media moguls hate Newsmax.”
Wow. That is just, actually it's kinda sad. It's like you're not even trying. I know your target market is people with no critical thinking skills, but still, have a little fucking pride in your work.

And Sarah Palin says Newsmax is one of her top news sources and describes it as "very very helpful, valuable."  

Geez, One of her top news sources? So one of the sources included in "ya know, all of them?"
And you couldn't even get her to try and string together a complete sentence? "very very helpful, valuable" is the best word-salad she could toss for this?