Monday, June 1, 2009

I steal a meme from Dr. Monkey

Yesterday, Dr. Monkey posted:

The current list of things that are going to make me hurl
if I have to hear any more about them

So I thought, why not steal from the best?

Here's my current list:

1. Anyone who has participated in American Idol. (As a contestant, judge,or whatever)

2. Anyone whose last name rhymes with Lard-Assian.

3. The New York Yankees

4. The Boston Red Sox

5. Movies based on Superhero comics.

6. TV shows where idiots compete for the affections of another idiot.

7. The Hills, Real Housewives of anywhere, or any other show dedicated to the daily lives of the rich and vapid.

8. Jack Brayer / Kenneth the Page.

9. Miss California

10. The term "baby bump."

That's my ten, what's yours?


Due to its ongoing financial problems, Chrysler is having to close about 25% of its dealerships.
What do you think of that, Conspiracy Cat?

Oh, Conspiracy Cat, that's what you say about everything! Surely no one else could see anything sinister in this!

Oh, really? Malkin? Well, that doesn't count. Everyone knows she's a nutjob. It's not like anyone else. . . .Really?! Like who?

Doug Ross @ Journal took a look at all of the owners whose names appeared more than once in the Chrysler dealer closing list, and:

of those who contributed to political campaigns, every single one had donated almost exclusively to GOP candidates. While this isn’t an exhaustive review, it does have some ominous implications if it can be verified.

Yes, Doug, the rampaging army of yetis amassing along the Canadian border also has ominous implications if it can be verified. (hint: it can't)

Who else?

This is a must-read from Gateway Pundit. It appears that of all the Chrysler dealers that are being closed down by the UAW/Obama-owned Chrysler corporation, all but one were donors to either the GOP or to Obama’s rivals (Hilary Clinton/John McCain, etc…) in the presidential primaries and election.

The implications here are staggering.

Yes, if by "staggering" you mean the type of staggering you see outside of bars at 2:00 am.

Speculation is growing that the government is safeguarding political donors and other Democrat favorites when selecting dealerships that will be closed. . . Disturbing is the fact that we all could easily conceive political motives behind the closings… yes, the federal government is that evil!

Also, we could easily conceive political motivations behind leap year, male pattern baldness, and the disappearance of the McRib sandwich, if we were crazy, paranoid and stupid.

What must it be like to be these people? How do you go about your day-to-day life convinced that absolutely everything is a conspiracy against you, your religion, and your political leanings? I don't see how you get out of bed in the morning. I would be hiding in a hole I dug in the woods if I thought that evil people and institutions were all out to get me!

There are, of course, a couple important facts that get left out in these folks' "analyses" of the dealer closings. One is that almost all of the people that own car dealerships are, for one reason or another, conservatives/Republicans. So complaining about the large percentage of Republican-owned dealerships being closed down is akin to complaining that most of the player selected to the NBA All-Star team are unusually tall.

The other important point is that Barack Obama is NOT the one deciding which dealerships to close. That should go without saying, but apparently, being obviously fictitious is no reason for these people to disbelieve something. After all, these are the same people who believe that there is a concerted effort underway to rid the world of Christmas.