Wednesday, June 17, 2020

Shit you couldn't make up

Lately I've been seeing way more than the usual amount of news stories that, were a writer to include them in a movie script, would be considered too unrealistic.

Take this for example:


Okay, first of all, there is no such thing as "Cancel Culture." Cancelled is just an expression, a slang term if you will. When you find out that someone you used to be a fan of has done something awful and tou can no longer watch or enjoy their work, it's just easier to say "Loius CK is cancelled" than to say "I always enjoyed Louis CK's stand-up comedy and I liked his TV show and he's very talented, but now that I know he's a sex creep, I can't watch him anymore."

Anyway, I get why the revanchists at FOXwould be annoyed by people "cancelling" a cartoon about puppy cops, or a very good but very racist movie, but the Confederacy?
First of all, the Confederacy was cancelled 150 years ago by Ulysses S. Grant

Ulysses S. Grant | American Battlefield Trust

You're Goddamm right!

Secondly, The Confederacxy?
Were you under the impression that before Milenials got on Twitter everyone was pretty okay with the fucking Confederacy?

An Award-Winning Sand Sculpture by Damon Langlois Captures a Crumbling  Abraham Lincoln | Colossal

Or look at this story:

NYC detectives union to file lawsuit against George Floyd protesters

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What? How. . . I mean. . . WHAT?

The head of the NYPD detectives’ union said that they plan to sue protestors who injure police officers.
“If you assault a New York City Detective and there are no consequences from the criminal justice system, we have to have other means to protect our detectives,” said Paul DiGiacomo, president of the Detectives Endowment Association.

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Oh my God. First of all, if a civilian injures a New York City Detective, there are absolutely going to be consequences from the criminal justice system. Of course there will be. I know cops are really wedded to this whole "everyone's against us" narrative, but what do you think happens when someone injures a cop? Do you think that the DA just shrugs and says "boys will be boys?" Do you think they get a half-assed grand jury procedure that miraculously results in no charges being filed? It's ridiculous and disingenuous and frankly a bit dangerous to imply that people get away with assaulting police officers. There are always consequences for assaulting a cop. There are also consequences for being rude to a cop, being in the way of a cop, or walking on the sidewalk too close to a cop.

In protests against police brutality, videos capture more alleged police  brutality - The Washington Post

And with or without the backing of the criminal justice system, y'all don't seem to have any trouble finding "other means" of dealing with people who piss you off.

Chief responds to Vallejo police brutality accusations in light of video -  ABC7 San FranciscoPhilly police commander seen beating protesters faces aggravated assault  charges -WHYY

But the irony that seems to escape the NYPD is that it is the police who, time and time again, have killed, beaten, and injured civilians with "no consequences from the criminal justice system." That's the whole problem. That's how we got here. If it were even a little bit true that civilians were injurung cops with impunity, I would have to say "now you know how every black person probably feels." But it isn't. It's not true. Not even a little nit. If you wrote an episode of Law and Order with a cop character who was this big a crybaby, the producers would tell you it was too unrealistic. Yet here we are.

Also, no TV show or movie would let a writer get away with a character as batshit crazy as Michael Flynn:

Exclusive from Gen. Flynn: Forces of Evil Want To Steal Our Freedom in the Dark of Night, But God Stands with Us

Aubrey Plaza What GIF by truTV's The Chris Gethard Show - Find & Share on  GIPHY

The idea or notion of a heaven on Earth is the very real sense of being free. Freedom is oxygen. Like the air we breathe that keeps our lungs full and our hearts beating, the celestial feeling of freedom brings a sense of peace to our souls.

Freedom is oxygen. Which is why every citizen of the Soviet Union suffocated in the 1950's.

Freedom must never be taken for granted. Securing our freedom demands a high price — and that price requires hard work and sacrifice. Both will bind us all by the value they produce, but only if we are willing to seek new opportunities and new ideas.

Jesus Christ, this is gibberish!

I don't think I can read any more of this drivel. It's not even funny.

What else has been in the news lately? Oh, this:

NYPD lieutenant apologizes

Well, good. That's a start at least.
Oh wait. There's more?

NYPD lieutenant apologizes for kneeling alongside George Floyd protesters

for gods sake (With images) | Intj personality, Intj problems, Intj

Of course. I should've known. Of course he's apologizing for the one decent thing he did.

A Manhattan NYPD lieutenant has apologized to his fellow department members for taking a knee alongside George Floyd protesters — telling them that “the cop in me wants to kick my own ass.”

Of course. Because that's the natural cop reaction to anything he doesn't like. Kick someone's ass.

In a June 3 email obtained by The Post, Lt. Robert Cattani of the Midtown South Precinct wrote that he lost sleep over the “horrible decision to give into a crowd of protesters’ demands.”

Right, why should you give into the demands of the crowd? I mean, it's not like you're some kind of public servant or something. You certainly wouldn't want the ordinary people of New York to think that the police are on their side.

Police sources expressed relief that Cattani had apologized — but questioned what he was thinking in the first place.
“I’m glad he took it back, because your officers are out here battling with these guys and that’s what you do to show appreciation? Never show your weakness,” one insider said.

Right, The citizenry is the enemy. You are at war with the people of your city. Do you people listen to yourselves? You're not in Fallujah.

I swear to God, you couldn't make this shit up!

Tuesday, June 9, 2020

The Democrats are not coming to save us.

Let me begin by stating for the record that I, Professor Chaos, will be voting for Joe Biden or for whomever they replace him with at the convention because no matter how many problems I have with Biden, the alternative is much much worse.

That being said, Joe Biden and the Democratic leadership are not coming to save us.

Yes, they are better than the Republicans. Much better. Or much less awful, if you prefer. But no positive change is going to come from these people.

At a time in our hiustory when the people are demanding radical change to way our citizenry is ploiced, the Democratic leadership gives us performative posturing.

Kente Cloth Is Beloved In Ghana. Why Did Democrats Wear It ...

The people cried out "Defund the Police!" and Pelosi and the Dems respomded "Got it!  Kneel for 8 minutes! While wearing African cloth for some reason no one can really explain."

"No, seriously" the people said. "We rreally want to defund the police!" And Biden gave us this headline:

Biden Walks a Cautious Line as He Opposes Defunding the Police

Parks & Rec 4.07 - Jerry-facepalm - TVIV Gifs

In the face of continuing protest marches calling to “defund the police” nationwide in the aftermath of George Floyd’s killing, Mr. Biden’s campaign said in a statement that he “hears and shares the deep grief and frustration of those calling out for change” and that he “supports the urgent need for reform.” But a campaign spokesman, Andrew Bates, said flatly that Mr. Biden was opposed to cutting police funding and believed more spending was necessary to help improve law enforcement and community policing.

Any minute now, I’ll be a great-grandmother – wtf Am I On ...

Seriously? How is Biden's strategy always to come out in opposition to whatever Democratic voters want? Medicare For All polls at around 65-70% among all voters and obviously higher among the Democratic base.

So what does Biden have to say?

Dk logo med
Biden says he'll veto Medicare For All. Says he always knew Iraq had no WMDs, was bamboozled by Bush
Tuesday March 10, 2020

unveiling my 750iL twin turbo e32

Oh that's great.
You know, if you're going to come out against a highly popular policy proposal, it helps to toss in the fact that you knew the bloody quagmire you supported was begun on false pretenses and that you were outsmarted by a dimwit.

So now the Dems have come out with their police "reform" proposal.

Al Jazeera English
Democrats to unveil sweeping US police reform plan. Proposal expected to ban: • chokeholds • racial profiling • require nationwide body cameras

Oh,, they're going to ban chokeholds! Like we don't know that chokeholds are already banned in a lot of jurisdictions but somehow still keep being applied. For instance, the chokehold was banned in New York in 1993, but somehow still managed to kill Eric Garner and the officer apoplying that chokehold was never charged with a crime or faced any actual consequnences. But the Democrats have a solution! They're going to. . . ban the chokehold even more, I guess?

And ban racial profiling. How is that going to work? Racial profiling is such a stupid term. It sounds like it's some kind of academic formula that police departments ude to identify suspects, something really complex whose use could be discontinued, when it's really just the cops saying "hey, look. A black guy. Let's stop-and-frisk him!" How are you going to end the use of "racial profiling?" No cop is ever going to admit that he pulled ovewr a driver or stopped a pedestrian because of his race. He's going to say that the car was speeding, or the black guy walking down the street was behaving suspiciously, or the black guy he killed was "resisiting arrest." And how would you prove that he's lying? You can't.So your ban is meaningless. It's like if my wife says I'm not allowed to choose movies on Netflix on the basis of how much nudity they have. And then I choose some movie with lots of naked boobies in it. And she says "hey, I thought we agreed that you wouldn't choose boobie movies," and I say "Gosh, I didn't know that 9-1/2 Weeks had nudity! How was I to know?" She can't really prove that I knew. I can claim that I heard it was a thought-provoking relationship drama and she can't really say for sure that I'm NOT dumb enough to have thought that. In fact, after 25 years of marriage, she probably assumes that I am.

And they're going to require nationwide bidy cams? You mean like the ones that are already required by departments all over the country? That always seem to malfunction right at the time when something bad happens? . Isn't it always the way that the time you forget to turn your body cam on is the one time that you have to fire your weapon to defend yourself against an unarmed black teenager? Murphy's law, I guess

So they're going to push these aesthetic "reforms," the bill will die in the Senate, and cops will continue to run roughshod over the rights of minority communities, but the Dems will pat themselves on the back for being "woke" and continue to not understand why more people don't show up to vote for them.

And eventually Trump will leave office and everyone will want to pretend that the problem is solved. I can't tell you hoiw many Tweets I've seen these last few weeks with video clips of cops beating, teargassing and firing at protestors with some line about "this is Trump's America!" As if police brutality was something that began in January 2017.
As if Philandro Castile, Alton Sterling, Keith Lamont Scott, Terence Crutcher and many more unarmed black men weren't killed by cops just in the last year of the Obama administration.

Or as if the militarization of police departments was some new development spurred by Cheeto Mussolini. Police departments have been militarizing since at least the 1980's in response to the crack epidemic. And at first it was just big cities with lots of gang activity like Los Angeles and Miami, but over the last several administrations it has spread to small and medium-sized towns across the country. It's not like this wasn't happening under Barack Obama and it's not like it's going to stop under Joe Biden.
Don't forget,this was Biden's response to the Rodney King beating in 1991:

Biden proposed 'Police Officer's Bill of Rights' two months after Rodney King beating

Sensing upcoming unrest, lawmakers in Washington began to act. In May 1991, Biden authored a Senate bill that would have provided greater protections to cops accused of misconduct. The " Police Officer's Bill of Rights Act" aimed at strengthening protections when law enforcement officers were accused of misconduct. 
And his response to the current unrest:

“Instead of standing there and teaching a cop, when there’s an unarmed person coming at them with a knife or something, you shoot them in the leg instead of in the heart is a very different thing. There’s a lot of different things that could change,” 

Judge Judy Facepalm Gif By Agent M Loves Gif - Find ...

You know, I used to jokingly make the analogy about voting blue as the lesser of two evils that it was like if you are offered a choice between a slap in the face and a kick to the crotch, you would be crazy not to opt for the slap. Now it seems voters are being offered a choice between one party that wants to shoot you in the heart and one that just wants to shoot you in the leg. So of course, you gotta choose the leg. But it's hard to generatemuch enthusiasm for that choice.

But no, the Democrats are not coming to save us. Joe Biden is not coming to save us.
 Nancy Pelosi is not coming to save us. They will rip up a speech or give a sarcastic clap, then turn around and authorize billions of dollars to put children in concentration camps. They aren't going to make anything better. But the alternative is worse.