Thursday, September 25, 2014

3 People who feel entitled to their own numbers

1. Georgia Governor Nathan Deal:
Yeah. He got elected with that slogan.

     After many years of Republican governance, Georgia surprisingly ranks dead last in unemployment.

Georgia's unemployment rate jumped to 8.1 percent from 7.7 percent in July to the highest among all the states. It was followed by Mississippi at 7.9 percent.

So, naturally, Deal has questioned whether some mysterious  entity might be "influencing" the Bureau of Labor Statistics:

“It’s ironic that in a year in which Republican governors are leading some of the states that are making the most progress, that they almost, without exception, are classified as having a bump in their unemployment rates,” he said in a clip circulated by the Democratic Governors Association. “Whereas states that are under Democrat governors’ control, they are all showing that their unemployment rate has dropped. And I don’t know how you account for that. Maybe there is some influence here that we don’t know about.” 
Or maybe that's what they want you to think! 

Asked to clarify the governor’s remarks, a Deal spokeswoman pointed out that the federal Bureau of Labor Statistics had in previous years reported high unemployment rates in July and August only to revise them downward the following year.
“Given the increase in jobs we’ve seen this month, the BLS’ pattern of downward revision and the drop in unemployment claims, the number doesn’t make sense,” said the spokeswoman, Jennifer Talaber. “States with Republican governors across the country are also seeing spikes in their unemployment rates.”

Why, it's almost as if Republican economics don't work or something!

2: Paul Ryan
Pretty much "serious thinker" personified!

Whenever someone takes the time to look at one of Ryan's proposed budgets, the obvious thing that jumps out at them is that the enormous decrease in revenues will inevitably lead to even larger defecits.

So, rather than revise his numbers, Ryan would rather change how the math is done:

He tells Klein, “Those of us who live in the tax system want to lower everybody’s tax rates.” If you lower everybody’s tax rates, then everybody will be paying less in taxes, and then the government will have less revenue, right? That’s where Ryan’s solution comes in: He plans to press the government budget agencies to adopt the optimistic assumption he prefers, which is that cutting tax rates for the rich creates faster economic growth. Ryan spent much of the Bush years assailing what he called “static scoring,” which is the standard budget practice of measuring the fiscal impact of tax cuts as if they do not contain magic pixie dust.

Because if you're just going to assume that less money coming in results in having less money, then I just don't think we have anything left to discuss! Obviously cutting revenue decreases the deficit, because I really really want it to!

3: Me.
 As far as you know.

Because I know damn well that I weigh a nice even 200 pounds, no matter what the scale at my doctor's office says.

This Just In. . .

Eric Holder To Step Down As Attorney General

Injury Update

I've been having a back issue that makes sitting at the computer for long stretches very uncomfortable. So posting will likely be spotty for a little while.

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

We have reached maximum derp.

The nexus of evil and stupid has been discovered:

Michele Bachmann: Phyllis Schlafly Is A Feminist Role Model Because She Ended The Cold War

Well that's just silly. Everyone knows that Ronald Reagan ended the Cold War by saying "tear down this wall" and then Gorbachev was all like "oh, shit I guess I better tear it down then, because this senile washed-up actor said I have to" and then the Germans tore it down during the Bush I administration.

I believe that Phyllis Schlafly is the most consequential female woman in public policy in the last fifty years of the 20th Century. Had there not been a Phyllis Schlafly, I believe that we wouldn’t have seen a rise of the pro-family movement. Had there not been a rise of the pro-family movement, I don’t believe that there would have been a Ronald Reagan. Without a President Ronald Reagan, I don’t think we would have seen the ability to defeat the evil, and yes that’s what it was, Soviet empire and to bring a conclusion to the Cold War. Just as Ronald Reagan was consequential, Phyllis Schlafly was extremely consequential because she was a tee to tee up this president that we had.

Okay, can we pleeeeease be clear about this? The Soviet Union was an unworkable, unpopular, top-heavy system that collapsed under its own weight just as everyone always predicted they would. Ronald Reagen gets zero credit for having been in office just prior to the inevitable collapse. He does get credit, however, for pretending that the Soviets were much stronger and much more of a threat than they ever were and using that as a reason for an insane military spending binge that helped to make us the world's largest debtor nation.

But back to Phylis Schlafly. 
Lookin' good, Phyl!

Schlafly is a uniquely nasty piece of work, a woman who made a very successful career of telling women they shouldn't have careers. A woman who became powerful and influential by telling women that they should never have power or influence. Also, just a nasty, smirking snake of a human being that delighted in trying to make other people's lives worse.

But sure, she's Bachmann's "heroine." The worst heroin since Black Tar.

Gawd, just watch this video:

Love how she starts out mentioning that Schlafly was "smack in the middle" of the ERA "topic" without mentioning that she was one of the leaders of the opposition. That she was a woman who opposed rights for women. So, sure, she was smack in the middle just like Simon LeGree was smack in the middle of the slavery/abolition debate.

Then she explains how a pamphlet works. Seriously. She explains that it's the front of the paper and then the inside and then the back. And she says it like she's just amazed by this innovation which, come to  think of it, she actually may be.

And she says "everything Phyllis said, you could take to the bank" just as the video shows the  Schlafly Report headline "Social Justice: a Code Word for Anti-American." 


Pictured: a more sensible headline.

Also, she really thinks she's taking a courageous stand by referring to the Soviet Union as "evil." 

And she sees no irony in a woman who opposes the idea of equality for women running for Congress. She apparently sees no hypocrisy in someone who opposes the idea of women having equal status with men putting herself up as a candidate for a position of authority. I mean, it's hard for me to wrap my head around the idea of someone who is most known for saying that women should have no power or authority and should stay at home submitting to their husbands turning around and saying "vote for me to be a goddamned lawmaker." But all Bachmann sees is that aw, darn it, she didn't win!

Then she says that she is "her biggest fan, if not one of her biggest fans" which is fucking backwards, you idiot! You mean to say "one of her biggest fans, if not THE biggest." Otherwise it makes no sense. The way you said it means "I'm her biggest fan although I am not one of her biggest fans" which makes less sense than the things you normally say.

Then comes the coup de dolt:

"Phyllis was willing to be everything feminists wish they were, decades before feminists figured out that they needed to be independent women in their own right," she said. "Phyllis was already there. And so rather than lifting Phyllis Schlafly as the tremendous role model that she has consistently been throughout the decades, she was slashed and slashed by the feminists when she was exactly the epitome of what they had hoped to be." 

Holy what the Huh???

How do you even come up with something like that?

I'm fairly certain that figuring out "that they needed to be independent women in their own right" is pretty much the dictionary definition of becoming a feminist.
And why on Earth would you think that feminists would "lift" up someone whose entire raison d'etre was to try to thwart their goals? And tried to insult them at every turn?
A woman who famously says shit like:
“Feminism is doomed to failure because it is based on an attempt to repeal and restructure human nature.”
 “Men should stop treating feminists like ladies, and instead treat them like the men they say they want to be.”
"By getting married, the woman has consented to sex, and I don't think you can call it rape."

Why would you think that feminists would want to elavate someone like that? It's like asking why the Giants don't have a statue of Tommy Lasorda at their stadium.
 'Cuz fuck that guy!

 Anyway, it goes on for a few more minutes like this and it's goddamm insane. Watch the video, it's actually worth watching in the same way that "Plan 9 From Outer Space" is worth watching.

Sunday, September 21, 2014

Wanna turn your daughter into a murderous psychopath?

Of course you do, why wouldn't you?

Well, just get her one of these for her next birthday, and soon all the neighbors will be wondering where their pets went!

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Never coulda seen this coming!

Sheriff Arpaio forced to return military weapons

PHOENIX -- Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio is preparing to send back hundreds of weapons received under the US Government's controversial 1033 program, which sends military surplus equipment to local agencies.
Arpaio says the MCSO lost or misplaced 9 guns over 20 years, and is now being forced to return all items received.

So he's not only an asshole, he's also dangerously incompetent? Who knew?

You know, some of those "lost" or "misplaced" guns could easily have ended up in the hands of Mexican drug cartels. So I will expect Darrell Issa to launch a full investigation any moment now.

Fast and Furious 6 Movie Poster Is it only 6? Seems like a lot more.

More than 100 agencies are "suspended" from the program for similar reasons, but Arpaio says to his knowledge, the MCSO is the only agency to be terminated.

Oh, Jeezus. Ya know, maybe giving military-grade weaponry to every local yokel  county sheriff who ever made Paul Newman spend a night in the box might not have been such a great idea.

"We'd like to find them.  We don't know where they're at.  We keep auditing to try to find them, but way back then we didn't have the high tech computer system [to track them]," Arpaio explained. 


You really need a "high tech computer system" to keep track of where you put the ASSAULT RIFLES?

You seriously need a computer for that? 'Cause I'm pretty sure this guy could handle that task:

 How high-tech a system do you need? I'm thinking this system should be plenty high-tech enough: 

Does your department not have one of these?

You put the guns in. You lock the door. You don't, and I can't stress this enough, you DON'T give every Tom Dick and Harry the combination. Then when Al Queda comes storming into Arizona, you unlock the safe and your assault rifles are ready to defend whatever it is you have in Arizona that you think is worth defending.  It's not that complicated. And actually, it should really be even easier because you can lock the safe and lose the combination because you will NEVER EVER NEED MILITARY-GRADE ASSAULT WEAPONS TO PERFORM THE DUTIES OF LOCAL LAW ENFORCEMENT!!!

"It really doesn't mean anything. Look at the handguns.  They probably don't work anyway.   We have plenty of our own," Arpaio said Tuesday.

Oh, yeah. . . I totally don't even care. I wasn't even like using those anyway.  I totally forgot we even had them. Yeah, I got like, a ton of other guns okay? I don't even need your stupid guns anyway.

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Colorful News

Street gangs tone down use of colors, tattoos 

HARTFORD, Conn. (AP) — Nearly gone are the gang days of the 1980s and '90s, when the Bloods wore head-to-toe red

the Crips wore blue and Latin Kings wore black and gold.

 Gangs from coast to coast have toned down their use of colors and are even removing or altering tattoos.
Today, the most you might see is part of a red handkerchief hanging out of a back pocket or a gold and black baseball cap, said Johnmichael O'Hare, a Hartford police sergeant who monitors gangs.         

One such neighborhood gang in Hartford, Money Green/Bedroc, often wore the kind of athletic jerseys popular among kids nationwide,

In Los Angeles, court injunctions allow police to enforce nighttime curfews and arrest people for hanging out in public and wearing gang colors."So we don't see so much wearing of the colors. We don't see so much of the tattooing,"

Monday, September 15, 2014

Karl Rove is still shameless.

Holy fuck, this prick doesn't even make a pretense of anything approaching honesty.

This is what that piece of shit had to say on some garbage FOX show:

The president is suffering because of the policies of his administration, squandered the peace, and have led to the circumstances we find ourselves in today

The peace.

He squandered "the peace."

The two wars he inherited apparently qualify as "the peace."

Un fucking believable.

Saturday, September 13, 2014

I love a parade Vol. III

Just a few more pictures from the Dragon*Con Parade.

These are Gumbys
The person on the far right wins my award for cleverest costume - Gumby dressed as a Gumby..

 This would appear to be tiny Spiderman hanging out with Gotham City villains.

Not cool, tiny Spidey, not cool.

Probably the less said about this next group the better: 


More Box Heroes, an Atlanta institution:


 No idea.

Um, a robot?

I have no clue.

Wait, now I do:

Putting the Dragon in Dragon*Con

Admiral Akbar busting ghosts?

This has to be from Star Wars, right?

Oh my God, I actually know this one!
Back to the Future!

Ooh, two in a row -- Indy!

Scary sword guy?

On the right, Powerpuff Girls. On the left? Maybe porn characters?

The Periodic Table of Elements

And as we all know, the most terrifying element is Sodium:

The Ice King

Some guy. Looks like a jerk.


Wreck-it Ralph, Disney princesses and some walking eclairs.

And, to reward you for your patience, I will close with a little beefcake:

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Georgia Republicans Say Things Out Loud

If you ever wonder why we rarely venture outside of Atlanta. . .

Georgia State Senator Complains That Voting Is Too Convenient For Black People (Updated)

Posted on

But holy shit! You're supposed to pretend that your voting restrictions are preventing "voter fraud." You're not supposed to admit that you don't really want them coloreds votin'.

The Atlanta Journal-Constitution reported on Tuesday that Georgia state Senator Fran Millar (R) penned an angry response to DeKalb County’s announcement that early voting will be available on Sunday, October 26, and that an early-voting location will be opened at The Gallery at South DeKalb Mall. Millar represents part of the county and is Senior Deputy Whip for the Georgia Senate Republicans.

Millar wrote:
Now we are to have Sunday voting at South DeKalb Mall just prior to the election. Per Jim Galloway of the AJC, this location is dominated by African American shoppers and it is near several large African American mega churches such as New Birth Missionary Baptist. Galloway also points out the Democratic Party thinks this is a wonderful idea – what a surprise. I’m sure Michelle Nunn and Jason Carter are delighted with this blatantly partisan move in DeKalb. 
(Pictured: Michelle Nunn being delighted)

 Hmm, if only there were a way to make it worse. . .

On his Facebook page Tuesday, Millar stood by his comments, writing: “I would prefer more educated voters than a greater increase in the number of voters. If you don’t believe this is an efort [SIC] to maximize Democratic votes pure and simple, then you are not a realist. This is a partisan stunt and I hope it can be stopped.”

 Wow! Well, played, sir!
(yes, I said "sir." Despite having an old lady name, Fran Millar is actually a man.)

State Sen. Fran Millar (R-GA)
State Sen. Fran Millar (R-GA)

 Any other Georgia Republicans want to step tp the plate and say something out loud that you shouldn't?
Next up, Congressman Jack Kingston: 
I swear, this was the most flattering picture I could find.

A lot of people would like to stay on the sideline and say, ‘Just bomb the place and tell us about it later.’ It’s an election year. A lot of Democrats don’t know how it would play in their party, and Republicans don’t want to change anything. We like the path we’re on now. We can denounce it if it goes bad, and praise it if it goes well and ask what took him so long.

Oh my Gawd!
That's the sort of thing that Stephen Colbert says when he's parodying you people!
Do you have any idea how this sounds to a normal, sane person?

 You're talking about a horrible situation in which people are being beheaded, buried alive, crucified, etc. And you're seeing this through the prism of a pr victory for your party? That's what you're focused on? The incredibly difficult decision that leaders in Washington and in other countries are facing about whether to intervene at the possible cost of even more lives, you see this as an electoral win-win?
And you actually admit out loud that your strategy is to wait until the President does something, anything, and then figure out how to criticize whatever it is he did or didn't do? You're actually admitting that. I mean, we've all pretty much figured out that that's what you folks have been doing since 2009, but holy fuck, man. You're not supposed to say it out loud!