Thursday, February 27, 2014

Lack of Perspective

Paula Deen thinks that Paula Deen is sorta like Micheal Sam.


Deen says in the People magazine coming out Friday that "I'm fighting to get my name back. I feel like 'embattled' or 'disgraced' will always follow my name. It's like that black football player who recently came out," Deen said, referring to NFL prospect Michael Sam. "He said, 'I just want to be known as a football player. I don't want to be known as a gay football player.' I know exactly what he's saying."


How does she know what. . . wait, first of all, who says "black football player" like that's something unusual? Like how old guys sometimes say "lady doctor" or "lady cop" because they still think that female doctors or cops are unusual. Does she not know that there are lots and lots of black football players? They're even allowed to play quarterback now, Paula!

Also, Micheal Sam is saying he doesn't want to be known for being unusually courageous, for taking a big risk in the interests of advancing the cause of equality, whereas you don't like being known as a racist. Not really the same thing, you know.

“I’m fighting to get my name back,” says Deen, who adds that weathering the scandal involved facing her “greatest fear.”
“I used to have dreams that I lost everything,” she says. “And when it finally happens, you think, ‘I’m still alive.’ ”

Yes, you totally lost everything. EVERYTHING!
Except you're still really rich.
And you still have a hugely successful restaurant.
And people still buy your cookbooks.
And you'll probably be invited to CPAC.

But other than that, yeah you lost everything! It's a miracle you survived!

Oh, but don't woory, you may be getting another chance to pull yourself up out of destitution:
Nearly nine months later, she is now hoping to reboot her business with a new company funded by a $75 million deal with private investment firm Najafi Companies.

Hopefully you'll be able to survive on that!

A New Twist On Victim-Blaming

Generally, when a Priest is accused of molesting boys, the defense follows one of two victim-blaming templates.
There's the traditional "Ah, kids make stuff up, this child is a wicked little liar" defense. Then there's the Bill Donohue "damn choir boys always seducing these innocent priests!" defense.
 Now the arch-diocese of Minneapolis has a new defense: Blame the victim's parents.

Reverend Sexually Abuses Two Young Boys, Church Blames Their Mother

By Lina Batarags, Wed, February 26, 2014

In 2012, Rev. Curtis Wehmeyer pleaded guilty to sexually abusing a 12-year-old boy and a 14-year-old boy, and to possessing child pornography.
The reverend reportedly abused the boys in his white 2006 camper, which he kept parked outside of Blessed Sacrament Church in St. Paul. Here, he “got drunk, smoked pot, and looked at child pornography.”
He also lured his 12 and 14-year-old victims in, “plied them with alcohol,” and told them to touch themselves while he turned on pornography. Police records indicate that he touched one of the boys several times.

So, you know, standard priest stuff.

Now, the boys’ mother has said the church officials are blaming her for not protecting her sons.
In court earlier this month, Archdiocese lawyers said that she should not have allowed her children to spend time alone with Wehmeyer.
“She was aware of the time (her son) spent with Mr. Wehmeyer, and she knew that such interaction was contrary to established Archdiocese policy,” the Archdiocese said in its filing.

Holy fuck!
(no pun intended)

Their defense is seriously "hey, you shoulda known better than to leave your kids alone with a fuckin' priest! I mean, whaddidya think was gonna happen? What's he supposed to do, NOT molest 'em? He's a priest for fuck sake!"

Leaders in the Archdiocese reportedly knew of Wehmeyer’s “risky sexual behavior” when he was appointed as a pastor of Blessed Sacrament and St. Thomas the Apostle in 2009. The two St. Paul parishes later merged.

Because of course they did. It's standard operating procedure. You know you got a degenerate priest on your hands, what are you gonna do, warn somebody? Yeah, that'll go over great with the higher-ups!

The church has cut back on payments for family therapy and treatment, further adding to the family’s strains.
For example, although the Archdiocese followed through on promises to pay for family therapy, it did not pay for one of her son’s 66-day stay at a Washington County crisis home this summer, because the bill was for housing, not mental health treatment.

Jesus Christ!
(No pun intended)
These bastards are going to exploit loopholes to keep from paying for the trauma that they caused?  Is this a church or Union Carbide?

And they want to make John Paul II a saint!

a a a

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Responsible Journalism

I always like to look at the headlines on Yahoo's home page, mainly because I no longer subscribe to our local paper the Atlanta Journal Constitution (and they know why!) Anyway, it's not only a quick way to get a glance at what's going on in the world, it's also a place to find just stunning examples of the most top-notch journalism available!

For example. This story from the website "OddNews" with the reasonable, objective-sounding headline:

‘Pure evil’: City caps sewer of woman fighting to live ‘off the grid’

 The fight of Cape Coral, Florida resident Robin Speronis to live “off the grid” has escalated with the city’s recent decision to cap her access to the sewer so she can no longer use it. It’s a move she calls, “pure evil.”

Gee, that does sound like a total dick move on the part of Cape Coral, which is a city in Florida so what did you expect?

Since November 2013, WFTX Fox 4 has reported on Ms. Speronis’ ongoing battle with the city to live without most utilities. The self-sufficient woman has lived for more than a year-and-a-half using solar energy, a propane camping stove, rain water, and eating mainly non-perishable food

Wow, she sounds like she could be a pretty awesome environmentalist. Also, she sounds like she could be a paranoid Libertarian nut. So I Googled her to find out.

Yep, Loonie Libertarian!
Here's a sample from her website:

The basic premise that people have rights that can trump government power is not seriously disputed, at least not in the America that I grew up in. Natural rights, in particular, are considered beyond the authority of any government or international body to dismiss.

She has written three books with chapter headings like:
2  Our Founding Fathers Did Intend For Us To Have Medical Freedom – Just Like Religious Freedom

5  Noncooperation With Evil A Moral Obligation

  We Are At War With Our Government…Yes We   Are…!!     

And let's not forget Chapter 8:

8  Where I Buy My Colloidal Silver Generators      

Yeah, Colloidal Silver, the substance that offers all sorts of health benefits like turning people blue, and um. . . that's pretty much it.


Also, it seems she may have killed her husband:
She has been in Restaurant Management, a Massage Therapist, an Esthetician, and a Real Estate Broker. Her advanced studies in the Natural Sciences allowed her to completely free her husband from the healthcare system and home death him naturally.

Robin considers her first book, “My Love Was Greater Than My Fear: Freeing My Husband Completely From The Healthcare System And Home Deathing Him Naturally”, as detailing the basis of the foundation of her “off-grid” journey.

But I digress.
So she's a nut. But it seems like she certainly has the right to live "off the grid" if she wants to. And it doesn't seem right that the city should be punishing her for that choice. Oh, but wait. This is a story about a right-winger being "victimized" by evil guv'mint bureaucrats, so there's probably going to be a little more to it. . .
What if we scroll all the way down to paragraph 5, past the helpful photos of her rain barrels and her pro-bono lawyer, past the part where most people have already gotten bored with this story and are searching for Kim & Kanye news. . . and. . . yep! There it is!

Also discussed at the special hearing was the fact that Speronis had been using the sewer system for the past year yet not paying for the service amassing a past due bill in the thousands. After her testimony admitting that she had used the service without paying for it, the city decided to cap the sewer line.

Ohhhh, the city is stopping her from using the sewer because she hasn't been paying her goddamnded sewer bills! well, I'm sure this was just an innocent oversight on her part, she'll probably be making arrangements to pay what she owes, and. . .

 Connie Barron, Cape Coral spokesperson told The News-Press, “She also gave clear indications she does not intend to pay for this service but intends to continue to use the system. We really had no choice but to cap the sewer.”

Damn! Someone get the Pulitzer Prize Committee on the phone, I think we have a winner! A story about a freeloader finally having her services cut off for lack of payment turned into a tale of a poor innocent victim of a "pure Evil" local government? This story will be taught in Journalism classes for decades!

Oh, and here's another little tidbit about Ms Speronis hidden down at the bottom of the story:

Speronis’ time living on the grid hasn’t gone so well for her either. As reported by the Cape Coral Daily Breeze , in June 2011, she plead no content to larceny, and was sentenced to 10 years of state probation and ordered to pay $32,000 in restitution. In January 2012, she had her real estate license revoked following a second complaint that she had not returned a $3,500 deposit following a failed condo sale.

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Religious Lunatics in Positions of Responsibility

These guys were both very recently in positions of serious responsibility.

First up: Tom DeLay

Tom Delay apparently actually thinks that God himself took pen in hand and actually wrote the Constitution. Not the Bible, the Constitution.
Tom DeLay really seems to believe that the United States of America was founded, not by George Washington and Thomas Jefferson and John Adams, etc. but by God. And that at some point in our history, the United States did not have a secular government 
Pictured: The Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost

I mean, I know right-wing religious fanatics are always claiming that the Constitution is based on the Bible, or Christian principles, even though a cursory reading of the document would actually disabuse one of that notion pretty quickly, but I don't think I've ever heard anyone actually claim that God actually wrote the damn thing.

And this man was the House majority leader. He was in a position of serious responsibility, one of the main forces setting our nation's legislative agenda. And he used his position to seal off the capitol rotunda? Is he even allowed to do that? And his plan to improve the nation was to have a bunch of Congressmen falling to their knees in the rotunda so that God would "heal our land?" Honestly, you could do that at home, you don't need to be a fucking Congressman to "seek the face of God." Wouldn't it make more sense to just stay home and kneel and pray and leave being a Congressman to those who would solve problems by legislating?

Next up: Gen Jerry Boykin (Ret)

Here's what General Boykin had to say recently about the second coming

The Lord is a warrior and in Revelation 19 is says when he comes back, he’s coming back as what? A warrior. A mighty warrior leading a mighty army, riding a white horse with a blood-stained white robe…. I believe that blood on that robe is the blood of his enemies ‘cause he’s coming back as a warrior carrying a sword.

Um, first of all, have you ever actually read that fever-dream of a book, Revelations? It's like William Burroughs without all the buttsex. (which admittedly doesn't leave all that much) It's fucking nuts. You're really going to take that book seriously? 
I was raised pretty fundamentalist, and even we were taught that Revelations is all symbolism. (I think the prevailing scholarly opinion is that all the bad things in Revelations, the dragons and monsters and what-not, are all cleverly-disguised allusions to the Roman Empire)

Secondly, Jesus wears a blood-stained robe? Why would you assume that's the blood of his enemies? Might it not have to do with his hands and feet having nails driven through them? And thorns sticking into his head?
The Lord is a warrior and in Revelation 19 is says when he comes back, he's coming back as what? A warrior. A might warrior leading a mighty army, riding a white horse with a blood-stained white robe ... I believe that blood on that robe is the blood of his enemies 'cause he's coming back as a warrior carrying a sword.  - See more at:
The Lord is a warrior and in Revelation 19 is says when he comes back, he's coming back as what? A warrior. A might warrior leading a mighty army, riding a white horse with a blood-stained white robe ... I believe that blood on that robe is the blood of his enemies 'cause he's coming back as a warrior carrying a sword.  - See more at:
Thirdly, Why would God need a sword? He's God. From what we've learned from the preceding books of the Bible, he can conjure up fire, floods, famine, pestilence. He can have all the first-born killed. He can heal the sick, raise the dead, and make the little girls talk out of their heads.
(wait, that last bit was Johnny Rivers)
Anyway, why would he need a sword when he could kill anyone he wants to by saying the word?
And if you're really taking all this Revelations stuff literally, then this next bit doesn't quite fit:

And I believe now – I’ve checked this out – I believe that sword he’ll be carrying when he comes back is an AR-15…. The sword today is an AR-15
 So, if you're taking this all literally, why isn't a sword a sword? You say God is literally coming back on a literal horse in a literal blood-stained robe, but when he says "sword," he probably means that as a metaphor for an AR-15? And why so specific? Couldn't God conjure up some sort of super Star Wars gun that no one had ever seen before? Why would he use a gun that any nut can get at any gun show?

And now, Boykin goes for some sort of wingnut gold medal by being perhaps the first lunatic to sombine the second coming with the second amendment.

Now I want you to think about this: where did the Second Amendment come from? ... From the Founding Fathers, it's in the Constitution. Well, yeah, I know that. But where did the whole concept come from? It came from Jesus when he said to his disciples 'now, if you don't have a sword, sell your cloak and buy one.' 

I know, everybody says that was a metaphor.  IT WAS NOT A METAPHOR! He was saying in building my kingdom, you're going to have to fight at times. You won't build my kingdom with a sword, but you're going to have to defend yourself.  And that was the beginning of the Second Amendment, that's where the whole thing came from. I can't prove that historically and David will counsel me when this is over, but I know that's where it came from.

Holy shit! There's one I've never heard before. Where in the hell does he come up with that? Has any historian ever found any shred of evidence that any of the founders were thinking of that Bible verse when they wrote the second amendment? (And David Barton doesn't count?) 

This man was fucking United States Army general! I had no idea he was this insane. I know he got drummed out of the Army because even the Bush administration found his anti-Muslim rhetoric embarrassing, but holy fuck, he's a loony!
It's terrifying to think that this man once commanded an Army! It's a miracle that this nut never invaded Saudi Arabia, or Dearborn, MI!

Saturday, February 22, 2014

A Reminder to Republicans

Just a Reminder to any Republicans out there.

  This is your guy.

This is the face of your once-proud party:

This is what you've become. You are now the party of a guy who refers to the President of the United States as a "sub-human mongrel."

You are now the party of a man who waves around machine guns while threatening members of Congress.

Because this scumbag, this nasty, vile little shitbag, has been given the approval of your party again and again and again.

I don't know why he has suddenly become an issue, campaigning with Greg Abbot for Governor of Texas, but Nugent has had his ring kissed by the leading lights of the right for some time now.

Remember this?

Your standard-bearer in the last election went to Nugent to ask for his endorsement.
Did anyone in your party object?
  Did anyone even point out that it was, let's ay "unseemly" for a man who wants to be the President to associate himself with a man who threatened the life of the current one? A man who called the Secretary of State a "worthless bitch" and suggested she ride his machine gun out of town?

And of course, it's not just him.

Remember this once and future presidential candidate jamming with Uncle Ted, doing a song about fucking underage groupies?

 Family Values!

And did anyone in your party object when one of your asshole teabagging Congressmen invited this scumbag to the State of the Goddamm Union Address?  Did any of the leaders of your pathetic little party have the balls to stand up and say "no, Steve Stockamn, you can not invite this 'man' to the SOTU. You can not bring a man who has threatened the life of the President in to a room in which the President will be speaking, have some goddamm common decency!"

No, no one in your party mad a fucking peep.
And no one said a word when the Congressman called Nugent a Great American or Patriot or whatever the fuck he said about him. You were all fine with having this scumbag in the halls of Congress as long as it was a thumb in the eye of President Obama!

So, just a reminder of how things work.

You get the Nuge.

We get the Boss   

We get Janeane Garofalo

 You get Victoria Jackson

we get Matt Damon and Ben Affleck 

You get Jon Voigt, Frazier, and Cliff from Cheers.

We get Tina Fey, You get Sarah Palin

You're done. It's over. We win.

Thursday, February 20, 2014

Least Self-Aware Person in the World

Guess who posted this?

“Lazy hands make a man poor, but diligent hands bring wealth.” Proverbs 10:4 
I came across this Scripture and wanted to pass it along.  I love it because it reminds me of my parents and the work ethic they instilled in all of us kids. If you want something, you go out and work for it.
No one owes you anything, and I’m embarrassed to be in a generation that doesn’t have that mindset.
Honest, hard work, is the only way to do it right. Don’t rely on anyone to provide for you.
The world doesn’t owe you anything!

Can you guess? Can you guess which advocate for the work ethic posted this? 
Yep, Bristol Palin!
Bristol Palin, who I'm pretty sure has never done an honest day's work in her life, posted this scolding of America's youth for not being hard-working enough.
Irony is dead.
Roll this sentence around in your noggin for a second:
 I love it because it reminds me of my parents and the work ethic they instilled in all of us kids.
Really. Your parents?  YOUR parents?
Okay, I don't know much about your dad, but your mom instilled a work ethic in you? When was that? Was it while she was pissing off the McCain team by refusing to do the debate prep or do her homework before interviews, or learn anything?
Maybe it was when she quit her job halfway through for reasons that she never could make entirely clear.
Or maybe when she had FOX build a studio in her house so she could toss her word-salads without even having to drive down to the local affiliate.
And whatever work ethic your parents instilled in you, I'm not sure it really took. Because when have you ever done anything that could be described as "work?"
No one owes you anything, and I’m embarrassed to be in a generation that doesn’t have that mindset.
Honest, hard work, is the only way to do it right. Don’t rely on anyone to provide for you.
Yeah, honest, hard work! It's just disgusting how many of today's young people will just sit around expecting to be given reality TV shows just because they're related to someone famous!
Or how many kids just expect to be paid money to promote abstinence just because they're unwed teenage mothers!
Or how these darn kids today just think that they should be handed book deals just because their mothers give Bill Kristol a chubby. 

Irony is dead and Bristol Palin just pissed on its corpse.

I knew this guy looked familiar!

 I saw this story a while ago:

Securities Fraud Investigation Nabs Ohio Republican Along With A 'Secretive' Church

And I thought the guy in the picture looked familiar.

Ohio state representative, Peter Beck (R-54) was just indicted on 53 counts. He already is facing 16 felony counts from an indictment last July.

Hmm, no. . . name doesn't ring a bell. . .

but he definitely looks familiar.

Hmmmm. . . where have I seen this guy before?

Then it hit me.

Oh my God, it's Robert Blake from Lost Highway!

Yep, that's him!

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Random Thoughts

1.   Just watched Room 237 on Netflix. Now I rally really want to watch the Shining again, but Netflix doesn't have it. Neither does Hulu. Neither does the library. How am I to go on living? 
If you haven't seen Room 237, I definitely recommend it. It's all about the various theories people have developed about various levels of meaning in Stanley Kubrick's film The Shining. They range from the entirely plausible (Kubrick meant the film as an allegory for the Holocaust and/or the Native American genocide) to the far-out (Kubrick uses The Shining to confess to his part in faking the moon landing). It's totally fascinating, and really makes me want to re-watch the Shining, since I had thought that the film was mainly an experiment in how much scenery Jack Nicholson could chew. (spoiler alert: A LOT!) 
You can almost see bits of the Overlook Hotel stuck in his teeth!

2.    Endorsements are out of control. I just saw an ad that said Makita is the "official tools of the Mexican National Soccer Team." Why? Why would any tools be the official tools of the Mexican National Soccer team? I could understand if they said "Adidias, the official cleats of the National soccer team," because they use cleats and presumably would have their choice of any brand and if they chose Adidias that would be a pretty strong endorsement. But Makita? Why would you want to be the official tools of a soccer team? Soccer teams don't use hand tools, they don't even used hands! 

Pretty much any time you see that some brand is the "official ____ of _____" it's going to be bullshit. Did you know that McDonalds is the "official restaurant of the Olympics?" That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. First of all, McDonalds is not a restaurant. Restaurants serve food. And secondly, does anyone think that any Olypmic athletes are setting foot in McDonalds? 
Think she eats a lot of french fries?

Okay, maybe Sean White, but only when he's really stoned.

3.    Do you think George Zimmerman even knows he's lying anymore?

George Zimmerman: ‘I Certainly Was A Victim’

George Zimmerman still believes that he was a victim the night he shot and killed unarmed teenager Trayvon Martin. ”I certainly was a victim when I was having my head bashed into the concrete and my nose broken and beaten,” Zimmerman told CNN on Monday. ” So I wouldn’t say I was not a victim.”

Does he even know anymore, or has he told the lie so many times he actually has started to believe it?

Oh, and while we're on the subject, please God let this story be true!

George Zimmerman chased by angry mob in Miami

The biggest shame is that most people will only remember Devo as the guys who wore flowerpot hats and sang "Whip It" and the theme from Dr. Detroit. Sure, Devo could create perfect pop songs like "Girl U Want" or "Through Being Cool," but they also produced some of the most innovative, subversive music ever heard. They were amazing enough to impress David Bowie and Iggy Pop, who helped them get a record deal. (on Warner Bros, no less. The Seventies were a crazy time!)

Check out some of their art-damaged early work:

Monday, February 17, 2014

Credit where credit isn't due.

(via Motley Fool)

The NRA Reveals Who's to Blame for Ammo Shortage: You

If you own a gun -- and surveys say that somewhere between 24% and 45% of you do -- it will come as no surprise when I say that the price of ammunition is on the rise.

Gee, I wonder why that would be. Could it possibly be because the NRA, Gun Owners of America, and other gun-fellating groups have been scaring the pants off of the paranoid rubes, telling them that Obama is comin' fer their guns?

And this is your first clue to why prices have been shooting up. If prices are sky-high, yet shoppers are still buying -- and not just buying, but sweeping the shelves clean, there's only one logical conclusion:

That gun-nuts are paranoid, stupid and gullible?


To-may-to, to-mah-to!

Credit is due to the National Rifle Association

Of course it is. . .oh, wait. You weren't done yet, were you?

Credit is due to the National Rifle Association for debunking conspiracy theories about "the government" causing this crisis.

Oh, come on!
The NRA is "debunking" the ridiculous conspiracy theories that they helped foster and promote, and you think they should get "credit?"

Time for some good news
The NRA doesn't exactly bring clean hands to this debate, of course. The association's incessant drumbeat of panic-talk about President Barack Obama wanting to "come and take your guns" was arguably the firing pin that ignited the wave of panic-buying in 2007-2008. Still, the NRA deserves some credit for finally explaining the cause.

No! No they don't! You don't get "credit" for finally admitting you've been lying since 2008! You can't get the lunatic fringe all riled up and scared and heavily armed and then say, "hey, guys, you know all that stuff we were saying about how the scary black man is going to take your guns and out you in a FEMA camp? Yeah, that might not be totally true." I mean, sure, you can do that, but you sure as hell shouldn't get any "credit" for doing it.

Friday, February 14, 2014

Despicable People Saying Ridiculous Things

Despicable person number one: Tom "Krystalnacht" Perkins.

"The Tom Perkins system is: You don't get to vote unless you pay a dollar of taxes,"
Perkins said.
"But what I really think is, it should be like a corporation. You pay a million dollars in taxes, you get a million votes. How's that?"

How's that? How's this?

And the horse you rode in on!
Despicable person number two: Nicole Miller CEO Bud Konheim:

"We've got a country that the poverty level is wealth in 99 per cent of the rest of the world," he told CNBC. "So we're talking about woe is me, woe is us, woe is this.
"The guy that's making, oh my God, $35,000 a year...Why don't we try that out in India or some country we can't even name....China, anyplace, that guy is wealthy."

Yeah, great, $35k a year makes you rich in fucking China. That's great. In the US of A, it makes you fucking poor. And by the way, $35k is about double what someone making minimum wage in this country earns with a full-time, 40/hr a week job.

Fuck you in every country on Earth!

Despicable person number three: Clarence Thomas

"My sadness is that we are probably today more race- and difference-conscious than I was in the 1960s when I went to school. To my knowledge, I was the first black kid in Savannah, Ga., to go to a white school. Rarely did the issue of race come up," Thomas said during a chapel service hosted by the university.

Oh my God. I don't even have a middle finger for that one, because honestly, I don't know how to react to that. Is Thomas serious? Does he just look back at his youth through such thick rose-colored glasses that he actually remembers race being a non issue? In Savannah, Georgia? n the 1960's?
Maybe Clarence Thomas was the only black guy in Georgia in the 60's to be somehow magically unaffected by racism? Or is he just so invested in making himself believe right-wing bullshit talking points that he's actually convinced himself that race was just not problematic in the Jim Crow South? I don't know, I just kind of feel sorry for him.

In general, though, he does absolutely remain a despicable person.

Despicable person number four: Sharon "2nd amendment solutions" Angle.

It's Charleton Angle and her flintlock

“I think it (voter fraud) is an element in every election across the United States,” Angle said when asked about voter fraud in the 2010 election. “I’ve been traveling and I have done quite a bit of it and they asked me two questions. One is, ‘What are you doing now?’ And the other is, ‘Did Harry Reid steal the election?’
Steal the election? You handed it to him, genius! When you threatened armed insurrection, you gave the voters all the motivation they needed to vote for your opponent. No one stole the election, you just made the mistake of showing people how despicable a person you really are. So you get nothing. Good day.

Thursday, February 13, 2014

How does something like this get published?

I mean, I know the wall Street Journal is owned by Murdoch now, and its op/ed page has always been a den of right-wing hackery, but holy fuck, this is really beyond the pale:

Drunkenness and Double Standards

A balanced look at college sex offenses.

How. How is there a "balanced look" at sex offenses? Like it's really unfair how the rapist always automatically gets blamed every time there's a rape?

Oh holy shit, that's actually the point this cockhole is going to make, isn't it?

The headline in the New York Times's Education Life section reads "Stepping Up to Stop Sexual Assault." The story, by reporter Michael Winerip, is more balanced than that.

Oh, yeah, hey, don't worry. The headline might seem like it's all anti-sexual-assault, but don't worry, it's totally fair and balanced!

Unlike many journalists writing about this subject, Winerip acknowledges the problem of wrongful accusation

Yes, that horrible problem that accounts for, what, about 0.01% of all rape charges?

He recounts the story of Dez Wells, who was a star basketball player at Ohio's Xavier University. A female student went to the campus police claiming Wells had raped her. He denied the charge, saying that the pair had consensual sex after a game of truth or dare. Investigators concluded no rape had occurred.

Well that proves it! If the star basketball player was involved, obviously investigators were going to be totally objective in examining the case. And since they were unable to show that the sex was other than consensual, obviously the charges were false!

Also completely exonerated!
The article then relates a case about a "legitimate rape" that took place in Amherst, Mass. Then goes on to say this:
Winerip makes clear that the unambiguous brutality of the alleged Amherst attack is atypical. "These aren't people jumping out of the bushes," Sgt. Richard Cournoyer, a Connecticut state trooper who's investigated a dozen assault allegations against University of Connecticut students, tells the reporter. "For the most part, they're boys who had too much to drink and have done something stupid. When we show up to question them, you can see the terror in their eyes."

Holy Fuck! This guy is a cop, and he refers to rapists as "boys who have done something stupid?" This is the guy who investigates sexual assault charges against U.Conn students? And the reporter thinks that this is an indication not of the sorry state of law enforcement on Connecticut, but of the, what, bias against accused sexual predators?

Winerip notes that between 2005 and 2010, "more than 60 percent of claims involving sexual violence handled by United Educators"--an insurance company owned by member schools--"involved young women who were so drunk they had no clear memory of the assault." We know from Sgt. Cournoyer that the accused young men typically are drinking to excess, too. What is called the problem of "sexual assault" on campus is in large part a problem of reckless alcohol consumption, by men and women alike. (Based on our reporting, the same is true in the military, at least in the enlisted and company-grade officer ranks.)

And what more unimpeachable source could there be than Sgt. Cournoyer, the man who thinks rapists are innocent based on the fact that when questioned by police they seem frightened?
Also, if you want to have credibility when discussing any type of violent crime, it helps to put the name of the crime in quotation marks, you know, just to kind of subtly raise the question of whether this crime really exists at all. Like Ted Bundy was convicted of several counts of what prosecutors called "murder."

But wait. Taranto hasn't actually gone as far off the rails as he is capable of going. here's where it gets really outrageous:

Which points to a limitation of the drunk-driving analogy. If two drunk drivers are in a collision, one doesn't determine fault on the basis of demographic details such as each driver's sex. But when two drunken college students "collide," the male one is almost always presumed to be at fault. His diminished capacity owing to alcohol is not a mitigating factor, but her diminished capacity is an aggravating factor for him.

Wow. Wow, I'm just trying to wrap my head around that analogy. Sexual assault is like two drunk drivers colliding? This is your analogy? How does that even make sense? In the drunk-driving scenario, both drivers are at fault and each driver causes equal harm to the other. Does that sound like what happens in a sexual assault? And sexual assault is merely a matter of two students "colliding?' Like this guy just wasn't watching where he was going and he tripped and fell penis-first into an equally unsuspecting woman?

here's a better drunk-driving analogy. A woman is walking along the sidewalk. She is injured when a drunk driver jumps the curb and strikes her with his car. But, hey, the pedestrian was also drunk, so really who can say who is to blame, right?
Although to make the analogy more apt, the drunk driver would have to intentionally have steered his car onto the sidewalk with the express purpose of striking the pedestrian.

So, to sum up. Rapists are just young fellas who drink too much and do something foolish, rape is like a collision between two drunk drivers, and  star athletes are often falsely accused. Hmm. I'll bet if I do a Google search for "James Taranto + War on Men" I'd get a lot of results, wouldn't I?


Monday, February 10, 2014

Bad Ads -- Subaru

I don't understand the point of Subaru's new campaign

What is the point supposed to be? What message are they trying to get across? Their cars can be driven by dogs? That can't be the point, because obviously their cars can not be driven by dogs. Is the point that it's cute when dogs do people things? Sure, it is cute, but what does that have to do with Subaru? They don't say a damn thing about the car in the whole ad except the ridiculous nonsense about "dog tested, dog approved." And what is the point of that slogan? Obviously, dogs did not test nor approve of these cars. And if they had, that wouldn't really be much of an endorsement. Dogs love everything. They're idiots. They eat their own feces.

The Missus is convinced that this ad, like most ads we hate, is aimed at Millenials, who, as she says, ruin everything. Seems as good an explanation as any.

Thursday, February 6, 2014

Oh Please, Oh Please, Oh Please. . .

Oh please God, let this really happen!

First on CNN: Conservative group pushes to topple GOP leaders in Congress

Washington (CNN) - A conservative group is launching a new campaign which calls on "the GOP leadership in both the House and the Senate to step aside."
ForAmerica told CNN that it's putting six figures behind its "Dump the Leadership" campaign between now and November's leadership elections. 

 The group says that its digital ads will target House Speaker John Boehner, Majority Leader Eric Cantor and Majority Whip Kevin McCarthy, as well as Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell and Minority Whip John Cornyn
God? I don't ask for much, but please please please let this be a real thing!

Oh please do this. Please, I'm begging you, "For America," whoever you are. I'm begging you to actually go through with this!

"Time and again, year after year, the Republican leadership in the House and Senate has come to grassroots conservatives, and Tea Party supporters pleading for our money, our volunteers, our time, our energy and our votes," said ForAmerica Chairman Brent Bozell in a statement to CNN.

Oh hell yes! It's Brent Bozell! He's actually crazy enough to really do this!

 So if this works out the way I think it might, and I have every reason to believe that it will, we should be seeing a shit-load of unelectable candidates from the Sharon Angle/Todd Akin wing of the far-right in Republican primaries across the nation. If they win their primaries, they increase the odds of their states and districts going blue. If they lose, they still might damage the incumbents enough by forcing them to tack to the extreme right that they increase their states and districts' chances of going blue. It's a win-win!

Let a thousand Christine O'Donnnells bloom!
I'm not a witch! I'm a fucking lunatic!

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Crazy Candidate of the Day - You knew it was only a matter of time edition

You had to know it was only a matter of time until she threw  her tricorn tinfoil  hat into one ring or another.

Victoria Jackson Files for County Seat in Tenn. 
Look at all these books I've never read!

Former "Saturday Night Live" cast member Victoria Jackson has filed to run as an independent candidate for a seat on a county commission outside Nashville, Tenn.
Jackson, who calls herself a tea party conservative, moved to Thompson Station in Williamson County last year. She told The Tennessean ( she filed as an independent because she's "very disappointed with the Republican Party."

 Really, Victoria Jackson? Are you really running for office?

Yes! I’m Running for Office! Vote Jackson!

Yes! I’m Running for Office! Vote Jackson!

I have just become an “empty nester” so I have time in between acting jobs to get involved.

A ha ha ha ha ha ha!!! "Between acting jobs!" Ahahahahaha!!!!
What are you working on Casual Sex? Part 2?
This is my first time running for office. I want to be an example to other moms, and regular folk to get involved in their local government. It’s the only way we will save America.

And if you're trying to save America, you're probably going to want to wait until the kids are out of the house and you have some spare time "between acting jobs." It's not like saving America is all that urgent or anything.
So what are Ms Jackson's (if you're nasty) policy positions? Well, she's in favor of AMERICA!! WOO HOO!!! And some other kinda crazy shit.
I’m against Common Core

Well, a lot of people are against Common Core. That doesn't sound all that crazy. Of course, the link she provides leads to a story on Wing Nut Daily by despicable harpy Phylis Sclafly entitled Education dictates more like 'Communist Core' So that seems pretty sensible.
I’m against Agenda 21, which is being implemented already at the local level,
No. No it isn't. What exactly going on that you think is implementation of "Agenda 21?"
Agenda 21, which is being implemented already at the local level, in offices like Main St. Franklin where “Franklin Tomorrow” pushes “innocent” policies like bike paths and walking trails, perhaps unaware of the United Nations plot to separate American citizens from their private property, eliminate suburbs, and concentrate people groups into cities, forcing mass transit, eliminating cars under the false-science guise of “human caused” global warming/climate change.

Oh my God! That sounds like something generally shouted through a bullhorn by someone standing on a milk crate on any streetcorner in Los Angeles! Anyone who sees a vast global conspiracy behind the building of a bike path is exactly the sort of person who should hold public office! People who see walking trails as a sign of an impending takeover of a scary globalist agenda are exactly the kind of people who should be put into positions of responsibility!
Our Freedom of Speech is under attack. At the Manchester Muslim Community Outreach Event last year, State Attorney Bill Killian announced to a group of 1,000 that American citizens could be federally prosecuted for saying disparaging remarks against Islam. This is not Freedom of Speech. This is the beginning of the implementation of Shariah Law

Okay, I don't know who Bill Killian is,
 but if he said that, he is either a moron or a liar.
And if you really believed that criticizing Islam was a federal crime, would you really be posting shit like this on your own website?
". . .every civilization Muslims have infiltrated for the last 1400 years, they have annihilated. That’s why they’re bad neighbors.”
They are infiltrating America right now.

Islam is a Satanic cult written 600 years after the Bible. It takes the Word of God and rewrites, distorts it. Mohammed admits that he thought he was demon possessed when he got his first “revelations.” He practiced “black magic.”
That's pretty fucking bold. Aren't you worried that the black helicopters might come and take you away to a FEMA re-education camp?
Our Freedom of Religion is under attack. Pastors who preach the Bible, are being accused of “hate speech” if they agree with God’s view of homosexuality.

Because if someone criticizes the way you express your small-minded, hateful religious views, that's the same thing as attacking your freedom. Oh, excuse me, I meant  
I support fiscal responsibility, personal responsibility, and the Constitution. I’m for less taxes, less regulation, less government. I support small business. I want to keep District 2 rural. I think nature is important. But, something needs to be done about the traffic jam on Main Street/Columbia Pike.

Okay, I'm a little confused. You want to keep District 2 rural, but you don't want regulations? Because anything you, as a county commissioner to keep your district rural would be regulation. When you keep developers from building in your rural district, that's regulation.
Also, you want to keep it rural, but what, build more roads? How are you planning on easing traffic in some way that apparently would be harmful to nature, while keeping things rural but without taxes or regulation?
Well, I'm sure you'll explain all this during the debates!