Sunday, May 22, 2011

Are your children too young to be misinformed by FOX News?

Sure, FOX is great for misinforming adults, but they use a lot of big words that kids might not understand, like "deficit," "apocalypse" and "Santorum." Fortunately, Mike Huckabee has the answer.

New, From Mike Huckabee!

Give Your Kids An Exciting Way To Learn
The Facts About American History

With Learn Our History and The Time Travel Academy, your kids gain an understanding of important concepts and how those concepts play a role in our everyday lives. From understanding the role of government and taxes to national security, democracy and more, your children will learn to appreciate what it means to be an American and how fortunate they are to live in the the home of the brave and the land of the free!
No, really. This is totally serious.

At Learn Our History, our mission is simple. 

We're dedicated to celebrating America's contributions to the world and making it fun for kids to learn our history.

It's widely accepted that kids learn best through experience.  But, unfortunately, the only way kids are experiencing history today is by having it force-fed to them through dry text books, monotonous lectures and boring lessons.  On top of that, our children's classes and learning materials are often filled with misrepresentations, including historical inaccuracies, personal biases and political correctness.

See, according to Mike Huckabee, the problem with today's history teachers is that they inject their own political biases into their lessons. These videos will totally not do that. They will inject Mike Huckabee's political biases instead. Just like the founding fathers intended!

Learn Our History aims to promote the learning of America's history and the celebration of our great country by telling the stories of our shared past.

Because that's what history, real history, is all about. It's not supposed to be an objective analysis of the events of the past. It's supposed to be about how awesome America is and how that is due largely to Ronald Reagan!

  • The Reagan Revolution

    The Reagan Revolution

    The time traveling teens go back to see the lives of their parents and grandparents to explore the problems of America in the 1970s and how one great President was able to make a huge impact.

Each Time Travel Academy film utilizes history that is carefully documented through a three-step process.

 First, our lead researcher goes through various primary and secondary sources, including printed and online resources to determine the most important events and themes that will be included in each episode.  

Okay, let me stop you fight there. If your "lead researcher" doesn[t already know what the most important events in US history are, then I gotta think that he's not much of a researcher. Probably not what you'd call an "historian."
Those events and themes are then woven into a script in which the animated characters experience the history first-hand.  After its completion, the script is reviewed by at least two members of Learn Our History's Council of Masters, who suggest changes to make the film as historically accurate as possible. 

Council of Masters? What kind of cult are you running here?  Do you know what you get when you google "Council of Masters?" These guys: 

We work hard to make each Time Travel Academy film as accurate as possible, often using direct quotations from historical figures.  However, given that the Time Travel Academy is an animated children's series about a fictitious group of time travelers, we sometimes make slight modifications to the presentation of historical events

Yes, we make them as accurate as possible, but we change shit to fit in with the fictional story. That's just how responsible historians do things. Isn't that right, Leopold Von Ranke? 
  Ich spreche kein Englisch 
Our current Council of Masters is listed below.
  • Professor Larry Schweikart, Author of A Patriot’s History of the United States, #1 on the New York Times Non-Profit Paperback Best Seller List, and Professor at the University of Dayton
  • Professor Daniel Mahoney, Chairman of the Political Science department at Assumption College
  • Dr. Alan Corlew, an experienced high school and middle school history teacher with 20 years experience; he served as Head of School at Orchard Hills Academy and Principal at Harvest Academy
  • Andrew Howell, a high school history teacher at Spring Creek Academy and the Founder of Howell Academy, a private instructional organization

Assumption College? Harvest Academy? Well, why didn't you say so? With those kind of credentials, you gotta have confidence in the Council of Masters! If I knew you had actual high school teachers on the council, well, that just puts all doubts to rest!