Saturday, September 8, 2012

Bad Ads -- Febreze

They expect us to believe that these are real.

They expect us to believe that someone is walking up to women on the street and asking "would you mind putting on these blindfolds and following me into this abandoned warehouse? Oh, and my friend here with the video camera will be there, too." And that these young ladies are shrugging and saying "sure, why not?"

I don't know whether Febreze is a good product or not. It might work, I don't know. But there is no way in hell that these "experiments" are real. I'm calling bullshit.

What the fuck is wrong with Arizona?

Is it the heat? Is that what makes everyone so goddamned crazy down there? Because, honestly, the people they put into positions of responsibility in Arizona. . . well, it makes your head spin.

Last summer, a drunk Arizona police officer named Robb Gary Evans drove himself to a bar, flashed his badge to avoid paying cover at the door, and then walked up behind a woman, put his hand up her skirt, and ran his fingers over her genitals. A jury convicted him of sexual abuse, a felony with a maximum sentence of 2 and a half years in prison, and Evans was fired from the police force after an internal investigation.

I know what you're thinking, but stunningly, the drunk molestor cop is not the bad guy in this story. I mean, obviously he's a bad guy, but the story gets even horribler:

Nevertheless, Arizona trial Judge Jacqueline Hatch, who was appointed to the bench by Gov. Jan Brewer (R-AZ), decided that Evans’ actions did not warrant jail time — sentencing him probation and 100 hours of community service. Evans also will not have to register as a sex offender.

 Image Hosted by

Wait, what?

No time at all? For a sexual assault?

What was the judge's reasoning? 

 Judge Jacqueline Hatch

Bad things can happen in bars, Hatch told the victim, adding that other people might be more intoxicated than she was.

“If you wouldn’t have been there that night, none of this would have happened to you,” Hatch said.


If you hadn't been there? I mean, I get when the victim-blamers say "you shouldn't have gone to a frat-house party," or "you shouldn't have gone up to his room." I mean, they're still wrong, but but I can see the reasoning there at least, those are places with an increased possibility of being assaulted, but a concert? A public place full of people, a place where there are presumably security personnel? How is that a place that one should know better than to go to?

I mean, I could see if the concert was "Rape-A-Palooza," or the "25th Annual MolestationFest!" but why would anyone not expect to be safe in a concert hall or nightclub or wherever? Also, no matter how shady this place might be, the assault is still THE FAULT OF THE ASSAULTER, NOT THE ASSAULTEE. How does anyone not get that? How is anyone, much less a judge, going to say "well, to be fair, there's some blame on both sides here." That is so disgusting. I can't imagine anything worse this nutbag judge could have said.
 “You learned a lesson about friendship and you learned a lesson about vulnerability.”
Sadly, I don't have to imagine. Because she also said this:

“I hope you look at what you’ve been through and try to take something positive out of it,” Hatch said to the victim in court.  


Make something positive? Out of being assaulted? Would you tell a robbery victim to make something positive out of being robbed? 

“You learned a lesson about friendship and you learned a lesson about vulnerability.”

Friendship? How did she learn anything about friendship? The drunken sexual-assaulting cop wasn't a friend of hers. He apparently just walked up to a random stranger and shoved his hand up her skirt which, to be fair, would not have happened had she been dressed more appropriately.

What a proper lady wears to a concert

“When you blame others, you give up your power to change,” Hatch said that her mother used to say.

Yes, when a crime is committed,  you can't just go around blaming the criminal! If some asshole decides to reach out and grab your genitals, ask yourself, "would this have happened if I had had the good sense not to have genitals?"

Would it surprise anyone to learn that this horrible terrible judge was appointed by horrible, terrible Jan Brewer?


Seriously, Arizona, what the fuck?

You got Brewer, you got Arpaio,

You got Ben Quayle

 You can barely see her lips move!

You got Jesse Kelly

Yes, of course he's the one with the fucking machine gun!

What makes you people so crazy down there? It's gotta be the heat, right?