Friday, July 30, 2010

Huckabee Ups The Ante on Glenn Beck

Hey Beck, you think you sound nutty with your conspiracy theories about fascism and Black Panthers and the Weather Underground and Homer Simpson? (seriously, Homer Simpson)

Well Mike Huckabee will see your Obama-is-bringing-socialism, and raise you an Obama-is-bringing-on-the-end-of-the-world.

Lat Sunday, Huckabee had as a guest the super-creepy Apocalypse-porn author and Kirk Cameron sugar daddy Tim Lahaye to discuss, I don't know, something crazy no doubt.

Yes, Tim. I believe the signs of the impending apocalypse are plagues, earthquakes, false prophets, and a bailout of US automakers. Then the four horsemen, War, Famine, Death and Healthcare reform will ride in and do something not at all positive, and then the sun goes out, the stars fall from the sky, and Banking regulations will be proposed.

What the hell? Even if this whole "Raw Socialism" were actually happening, what does that have to do with doomsday? When is socialism ever mentioned in any part of the Bible ever?

And how did Jimmy Carter get dragged into this?

Oh, wait, I do seem to remember that apocalypse during the Carter Administration. . .

Oh, and by the way, Tim, you probably already know this, but for as long as there have been Christians, some of them have always thought that they were living in the "End Times" or the "Last days." Saint Paul thought that 2,000 years ago. And I'm pretty sure he was wrong. And every other person who has ever said that his times were the "end Times" was wrong. So it's a pretty good bet that you're wrong, too. Also, you're creepy and weird. Please go away.

Cheap Patriotism

Today, I saw a van from this company:


The People's Choice for all your Plumbing & Electrical Needs

parked outside the local Home Depot.

It looked a lot like this van:

painted up with flags and bald eagles and "In God We Trust," and whatnot.

I would not hire this plumber/electrician service just because of this cheap tawdry display of superficial patriotism.

I'm not convinced that sincere, genuine patriotism isn't a vice itself, but I probably shouldn't open that can of worms.

The thing is, why would I want to hire a plumber based on his claims not to do the best quality work, or have the lowest prices, or most convenient availability, but because he loves America! And he trusts in God! who looks for that in a plumber? If Traitor McBlasphemy can get your toilet working better than Reverend Unclesammington, wouldn't you go with whoever does the best job?

It's so pathetic that a company would resort to cheap emotional manipulation to drum up business. It seems to me that if you're using the symbols of your nation to make a couple of bucks installing faucets, maybe you're not really all that patriotic anyway.

Just like all those businesses that work the Jesus-fish into their logo or promotional materials.

It's like they love Jesus so much, that they'll reduce him to the status of a company mascot.

And I guess they figure that people will see the fish and think "Now, that's the company I want to give my business to, because they seem to share my religious convictions."

It's tacky. And if you believe that Jesus sacrificed his life to save the world from eternal damnation, you think you'd be a bit more respectful.

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Fair Warning

The other day, I saw someone was quoted as warning that, should the Republicans retake the House, they would do nothing but "issue subpoenas and have one hearing after another"

Now, that seems like a bit of an exaggeration, it's kind of unfair to say that they would do nothing else. Who said that? Was it you, Keith Olbermann? Was it you, Micheal Moore? Come on, 'fess up!

Oh, here it is. Here's the quote from the Minn. Post:

What Bachmann thinks should happen if the Repubs get control of the House

BACHMANN: "Oh, I think that's all we should do...I think that all we should do is issue subpoenas and have one hearing after another.

Okay, it was Michele "I don't know how to spell Michelle" Bachmann, the pride of Minnesota!

And she's dead serious.

So, you've been warned, voters. At least one influential Republican has issued fair warning that she and her party have zero interest in actually governing. Here is what does interest Bachmann:

This is the year - this is it. All of our chips are on November. If we don't get it back and then starve the beast - the House, we have the power of the purse - so we can starve ObamaCare. We don't have to fund any of these programs and that's exactly what we need to do - defund all of this nonsense and then unwind it.

So that's the agenda. Do nothing positive, defund and unwind, and hold hearing after hearing to try to take down the administration. The goal is not to use government for what they think is positive ends, just to prevent the other guys from acheiving what they think are positive results. It's childish destruction as a legislative program.

And it doesn't matter that what she wants to unravel only exists in her overheated crazy little pea-brain:

one thing that you should is that the most dramatic story that's happened in the last 18 months is that the federal government - before 18 months ago, the private economy was 100 percent held in private hands. But today 65 percent of the economy is now held in government's hands - either in direct ownership or in control. This is your future we're talking about. So we got to unravel that.

This is obviously false. She could not be more wrong about this, but it's not going to matter. If this moron crackpot has subpoena power, she will use it to haul witnesses into the House chamber to grill them about their part in her paranoid daydreams.

I know it's easy to fall into the trap of feeling that there's no real difference between the parties, and a pox on both their houses. I know I fell that way a lot. And it's hard not to be really disappointed with Barack Obama and the Democrats. We should be disappointed, what with soldiers still dying in Iraq, Gitmo still open, and universal healthcare still a pipe dream. But if sane and decent people sit out this election and leave the field to the Teabaggers, this is what will happen. She's given us fair warning.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Crazy Candidate of the Day

Today's Crazy Candidate is Kansas' Joan Heffington.

Joan would like to be the next governor of Kansas, for some reason, and here are a few of her promises from her website


  • Sign into law only those bills that have 2/3 approval of the people
So, there will be no laws! Interesting. Go on.

Require that a Biblical and Constitutional reason exist for the passage of any new laws

Your honor, I propose that we ammend the tax code to read simply "give unto Caesar the things that are Caesar's." I cite the case of Matthew 22:21.

Review jail population for false/frivolous charges; if found, charges will be expunged
& person released

Letting the innocent out of jail? What a radical notion!

Repeal the War Powers Act so that Congress and the people must vote on decisions to go to war

Um, technically, the president can't go to war without Congress issuing a declaration of war, but there's no way you could be expected to know that.

And here's a little of her background. Again from her website:

✝ Founder of Association for Honest Attorneys (A.H.A!),
a non-profit organization seeking “justice for all”

Oh. That sounds like a good thing. Justice for all. Good thing she provided a link to the website of A.H.A.
you can click here,
Visit the Association for Honest Attorneys Website

or I can save you some time. Let me just show you the members of the AHA:

A.H.A! Board Members

Joan Heffington, C.E.O.

Cortland Berry, Director


I'm not kidding. God is listed as a board member.

God is all about truth, love and justice, so He fits right in with the A.H.A! He has been our unofficial guiding force since we began in 2003, and we look to Him to guide us in all of our decisions. God is our most trustworthy board member, and we know that He will never leave us nor forsake us. He helps us speak the truth in love, and protects us for doing what is right. God is the author of “The Holy Bible,” which is the standard of living for all mankind. Like us, it is not His desire that anyone should perish, even lawyers whom he especially tries to warn (Luke 11:52).

I looked up that verse, and it really is about lawyers! I had no idea lawyers were mentioned in the Bible.

Here's the verse according to this website which doesn't seem to have a name:

Woe unto you, lawyers! for ye have taken away the key of knowledge: ye entered not in yourselves, and them that were entering in ye hindered.

Interestingly, it doesn't say "woe unto dishonest lawyers,"or "woe unto lawyers excepting those of whose board I am a member." but anyway. . .

His laws under the Ten Commandments are the foundation of the
United States of America.

Okay, we've been over this (here) That just simply isn't true. No matter how many times you people repeat it, it isn't true.

So why should you vote for Ms Heffington instead of her opponent and fellow nut Sam Brownback?

Here's why:

Many of the polls appear biased in Brownback’s favor, but after traveling to 35 cities, we have only found 3 people who will vote for him. We haven’t seen any sign of Brownback himself in Kansas since he filed to run on 6/8. Maybe he’s afraid to answer questions about Heffington’s claims that he was involved in the CIA abuse of National Security Letters using innocent Kansans as experiments for chemical and biological warfare.

Ha! Only three voters that - wait, what?

Heffington had called Brownback’s office 4/12/07 for help removing the unwarranted National Security Letter against her, and three weeks later, a woman working in her office was targeted with a steroid cocktail mix I.V. in a Wichita hospital. Also, when an innocent 22-year old boy was targeted last fall, Heffington called Tiahrt’s office to ask for a congressional inquiry. Two weeks later, the state brought a false lawsuit against her for practicing law without a license.


Maybe I'm not understanding this correctly, let's look at a recent column in the Topeka Journal.

Heffington, a former Boeing employee and homebuilder in the Wichita area, said covert government operatives are infiltrating hospitals in Kansas and elsewhere to conduct biological and chemical warfare experiments on unsuspecting patients.

In February, she said, she learned operatives implanted microchips in a man who had refused to give the government a lucrative invention he had created. The microchips were transported through a window and into the man's body using a satellite, she said. "The technology is so advanced that they can do it that way," she said.

The state of Kansas is operating under a dictatorial French law that the CIA helped establish here in the 1950s, Heffington said.

"They needed a state where unsuspecting people could be treated like guinea pigs so they could try out their covert activities," she said.

Okay, one last thing. Here's Joan Heffington on Elena Kagan:

Elena Kagan’s appointment shows that wealthy elite lawyers still control the high court. THE GOOD: She’s against late term abortion. THE BAD: a Washington insider, Harvard law degree, Catholic but not Christian.

Um, Jewish. So, yeah, not Christian. But also not Catholic.

THE UGLY: On 10/15/09, Kagan as Solicitor General for the U.S. Supreme Court filed “no response” to our writ of certiorari in our case against Pres. Bush and others for illegal surveillance/wrongful death of Mark Heffington. On 11/09/09, the high court refused to hear the case, citing no reason.

So she ignores lunatics?

Also, I think the court cited no reason to spare you the embarrassment of citing the legal principle of "we don't take cases from loonies."

All in all, this is one baboon-ass crazy candidate. But all things considered, still probably better than Brownback.

Monday, July 26, 2010

Crazy Candidate of the Day, Sane Edition

Today's crazy candidate is Colorado's Ken Buck.

The crazy thing is, he's not really crazy.

But once you've cast your lot in with the teabaggers, having a moment of sanity in front of a live microphone is just a crazy thing to do.
From The Denver

Ken Buck Calls Tea Party Backers 'Dumb----s'

GOP U.S. Senate Candidate Disparages Those Questioning President Obama's Citizenship

Republican U.S. Senate candidate Ken Buck called Tea Party backers who doubt President Barack Obama's citizenship "dumb----s" to a Democratic operative recording his comments.On an audio tape obtained by The Denver Post, Buck was caught saying, "Will you tell those dumba---s at the Tea Party to stop asking questions about birth certificates while I'm on the camera?"

Ooooh. . . . yeah, bad move, Ken! You really don't want to insult your main base of supporters, no matter how much they're begging for it.

You know, Ken, it's funny. I hadn't ever heard of you until I heard a story on the radio about you telling people they should vote for you because you "don't wear high heels,"

and when I look you up on the interwebs, this is what I find? You trashing the teabaggers?

Don't get me wrong, the teabaggers deserve your trashing. It's just that you've apparently been running as one of them. And trashing the people you're depending on for votes? Well, that's just crazy!

Oh, you know what else is crazy? Check out this snippet:

His Republican primary opponent, Jane Norton, quickly issued a news release Sunday night declaring: "KEN BUCK TRASHES TEA PARTIERS.""Ken Buck is two steps short of a fraud," Norton campaign spokesperson Cinamon Watson said in the release.

Yeah, your opponent is being represented by a person named "Cinamon."


That might be a cute name for a pony, or a kitten, hell, even a stripper might be able to pull that off (no pun intended), but the spokesperson for a Congressional candidate? Named Cinamon? (and it's not even spelled right?) Now, that's crazy!

An even bigger middle finger

On the way home from Asheville, we were listening to a podcast of the Bugle (and if you haven't heard The Bugle, you're missing out on some good laughs. Check it out here) and either John Oliver or Andy Zaltzman mentioned that using corn to make ethanol was akin to the biggest possible middle finger to hungry people in the developing world. And I thought he was right. Until I got home and saw a commercial for this:

Friday, July 23, 2010

Worst TV Show Ever

In Touch Exclusive:
Kate Gosselin and kids to meet Sarah Palin in Alaska!

Forget ex-husband JonKate Gosselin could rename her TLC hit Sarah & Kate Plus 8! In Touch can exclusively reveal that Kate and her brood have traveled to Alaska with cameras in tow to meet up with the northern state’s most famous resident, Sarah Palin.

O, God there is no way this won't be on TV. These two publicity whores don't do anything that isn't designed to bring more attention and/or money their way. (for the record, Jon Gosselin is just as big a whore)

Maybe they could call it: Horrible Parents Profit From Their Kids.
or Soulless Mommies Drag Children Across the Tundra for Fun and Profit!
or Honey, I Exploited the Kids!

“Sarah, Kate and the kids will go camping,” a source says, adding that Sarah’s father, a retired science teacher, and brother, a third-grade educator, will conduct a hands-on natural history lesson for 9-year-old twins Mady and Cara, and 6-year-old sextuplets Aaden, Joel, Collin, Leah, Hannah and Alexis.

What the hell kind of science are they going to learn from this collection of snake-handling tongue -speakers? You know Sarah's afraid of witches, right?

A mother of a big family herself, former vice presidential candidate Sarah is thrilled about the upcoming visit. “She’s excited because it will be fun and educational for the children. Sarah will even teach Kate how to avoid bears!” the insider adds.

Fun and educational for the kids? Really? That's why she's excited? Because someone else is going to have fun and learn something? Not because it's more free publicity for her and probably another fat paycheck from some stupid cable network? Because I don't think Sarah is ever excited for anyone but Sarah. And neither Sarah nor Kate ever go anywhere there aren't TV cameras.

The Stupidest Question I've Heard in a While

From some stupid website called "Big Journalism"

does anyone really believe that Andrew Breitbart would intentionally distort a video clip to make a one-day splash?

Aha. Ahahaha. BaHaHaHa!!!!!!

Risk his growing reputation with a deliberate, easily refutable distortion?

Growing Repu. . . BAHAHAHAAAA!!!!
Oh, God! Stop, you're killing me!

Risk his growing reputation! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

Okay, no, I'm sorry! Would Breitbart intentionally distort a video? Just to make a one-day splash? Seriously? That's like asking if John Dillinger would intentionally rob a bank just to get money! Oh, the very idea! As if Dillinger would risk his sterling reputation just for the financial gain he might expect from bank robbery! For shame! Why, robbery was the furthest thing from Dillinger's mind! He only asked the teller to put the relevant currency in his bag, if she misunderstood and accidentally gave him all the money in the bank, well how was he to know?

Would Andrew Breitbart intentionally distort? How is that even a question? The only way I could see anyone even half-seriously posing that question is if. . . hang on a second, let me check something. . .

Oh, okay. Now it makes sense.

Oh, how could anyone think that Mr. Burns would do something dishonest?!?!
Who could suggest such a thing?

So good going Breitbart, you got someone who works for you to defend you. Great job. Maybe you can call him as a witness when Shirley Sherrod sues you for defamation of character. Hopefully after ACORN finishes suing you for libel, and every ACORN employee who was made to look like a criminal in your fraudulent bullshit pimp 'n' ho video sues you for defamation.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Things I Miss About San Francisco -- Elvis Edition

To be fair, this post should really be things I miss about California since a couple of these are from LA, but anyway. . .

Unusual Elvises, in order of unusualness:

The lead singer for the band Dread Zeppelin, Tortelvis is the self-described "Rock N Roll Singer Inna Reggae Style." The band started out doing reggae versions of Led Zeppelin songs (hence the name) then mixed in Elvis, Disco, and whatever else they thought needed to be taken down a peg.

And lest you think they aren't paying proper respect to Led Zeppelin, here's an endorsement from none other than Robert Plant:

Anyway, here's a sample:

#2: El Vez, the Mexican Elvis

#3: Elvis Herselvis, the Drag King

Elvis Herselvis is the alter ego of Leigh Crow. The Elvis Herselvis website is still under construction, and I couldn't find any clips of her band "Elvis Herselvis and the Straight White Males," but this is her other band, the Mighty Slim Pickins:

#4: Extreme Elvis.

Extreme Elvis was born in the 1990's when a San Francisco-based performer thought "what if Elvis had lived? And continued to just let himself go?" The answer would horrify everyone.

I'm not going to post any videos of EE, because I don't want to scare off anyone, but if you're interested, there are plenty here. But I will warn you that none of them will be safe for work. Or home. Or prison. They are not for the easily offended, or the easily sickened. Here is a description of EE from

Extreme Elvis is possibly the greatest living Elvis tribute artist alive today. If he’s still living, that is. His site was permanently shut down years ago by the FBI and Homeland Security for copy write infringement and other heinous crimes…or was it? Reality becomes a blur. Aside from a few online interviews, a story in Gigs From Hell and fading memories of the fascinating biography from his old site, nothing remains but a small handful of unforgettable performances which remain seared into my brain.

Extreme Elvis burst on the about scene eight years ago, leaving a trail of carnage, urine stained blue suede shoes, feces soaked mikes and broken hearts.

Apparently, the part about the FBI is true, this is what you get if you open his homepage:



Individuals involved in the operation and use of
the Extreme Elvis network are under investigation
for criminal copyright infringement

Anyway, if you're interested in a good freak show, check him out, but proceed with caution. And remember the Extreme Elvis motto:

Every generation gets the Elvis they deserve.

(in the interests of full disclosure, I should mention that Extreme Elvis once felt me up at Kimo's and I'm still not completely recovered)

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Oh, the Stories You'll Find on Page 2!

On page 2 of today's Atlanta Journal Constitution was this headline:

Worker Says BP ignored reports.

For some reason, they apparently didn't think this story was important enough to include it on their website. I found the story posted on "Democratic Underground"

here's what the New York Times is reporting:

In the final days before the Deepwater Horizon disaster, BP continued drilling for oil despite internal reports of a leak on a critical safety device on the rig, a company official testified on Tuesday.

What a shock! A corporation ignoring safety! Well, I never!

Ronald Sepulvado, a BP well site leader, said he reported the problem to senior company officials and assumed it would be relayed to the Minerals Management Service, the federal agency that regulates offshore drilling. The leak was on a control pod connected to the blowout preventer, an emergency mechanism that failed to activate after the April 20 disaster.

See, now here's the problem with that. Why is the MMS sitting around waiting for BP to report safety problems? Why aren't they out there doing inspections and finding the problems themselves. Do cops sit around the precinct waiting for crooks to come turn themselves in?

“I assumed everything was O.K., because I reported it to the team leader and he should have reported it to M.M.S.,” Mr. Sepulvado said.

He could not explain why the company did not respond to his report.

Oh, I can. I can explain that one. Um, they did not respond to your report because it seemed financially expedient to not do so. If they relay the information to the proper authorities, then they have to shut the rig down and make expensive repairs. They decided to roll the dice, save the expense upfront and just hope that nothing would go wrong, at least nothing for which they could be held liable.

Investigators also pressed Mr. Sepulvado about two audits that found problems with other equipment on the rig and the well it was drilling, including the blowout preventer, known as a BOP.
“In both of those audits, it indicated that the BOP was well past” its inspection date, said Jason Mathews, a panel member.
The audits of the rig were conducted by BP in September 2009 and by ModuSpec in April 2010. The company’s audit identified problems with the rig’s engines, ballast systems, thrusters and drilling equipment, and as a result, BP scheduled the rig for a shipyard visit in early 2011.

So in 2009, their own audit (and why the hell they get to do their own audit is a whole other problem) their own audit showed a bunch of problems, so they scheduled it for maintenance TWO YEARS LATER? If you see that your car's brakes are shot, would you think, gosh, that could cause an accident, I could maybe even kill someone, I'd better see if my mechanic has any openings in 2011?" Of course you wouldn't. But that's because you have a soul and a conscience and common sense. BP has none of those things. No corporation does. Corporations are not people. They may be run by people, but they are not people. And, hell, we don't just trust people to do the right thing on their own. That's why we have cops and jails and courts and laws, because we know that people, who presumably have consciences and empathy, will sometimes do very bad things if left to their own devices. So why would we expect a soulless, faceless entity like a corporation to behave any better? And yet we keep hearing certain people repeatedly calling for less and less regulations on businesses. It's goddamned insane. No company should be allowed to do anything as potentially dangerous as deep-sea oil drilling without an enforcement agent looking over their shoulder every step of the way. Because we've seen what happens otherwise.

And any individuals within BP who were responsible for the decision(s) to cut corners on safcety should be held criminally and civilly liable. Tony Heyward and his cronies intentionally took reckless risks with safety and 11 workers died as a direct result. These assholes need to do time, then be sued into the poorhouse by the families of the victims, as well as every fisherman, shrimper, hotelier, and boat operator whose livelihood was destroyed by their thuggish behavior.

On Law & Order, it's called "depraved indifference," and Jack McCoy has sent better men than Tony Heyward to prison on that charge.

Go get 'em Jack!

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Happy 75th Birthday to Sleepy LaBeef

Today is the 75th birthday of the great Sleepy LaBeef, one of the great rockabilly pioneers who for some reason has bever really gotten his due.

Lyrics That Somehow Snuck Past The Censors

#1: Start Me Up, by The Rolling Stones

As the song fades out, Mick Jagger repeats the line
"you, you, you make a grown man cry."
But in the last repetition of this line, he clearly says
"you, you, make a dead man cum."

How that ever got on the radio without being bleeped is a mystery to me, and no matter how many times I've heard it on various radio stations, I have never heard that line censored.

The Rolling Stones - Start Me Up - MyVideo

#2: Who Are You? by The Who

Towards the end, while Pete Townsend, John Entwhistle and Keith Moon are repeating "who are you? Who, who are you?" He slips in the line "Well, who the fuck are you?" I have never heard this line bleeped.
It happens at about the 5:40 mark in this video:

CSI- The Who- Who Are You - MyVideo

#3: Walk on the Wild Side, by Lou Reed
The line "But she never lost her head,
even when she was giving head"
got past the censors in 1972, and it still gets played on the radio today.
The story I heard, which may not be true, is that the expression "giving head" as a slang term for oral sex was not in the common parlance in '72, and so the censors just didn't realize what the line meant.

#4: Relax, by Frankie Goes To Hollywood

The entire song could really have been bleeped, I think it was banned by the BBC. The song is about trying not to climax too soon during gay sex.
Here are a few sample lyrics:

Relax, don't do it
When you want to go to it
Relax, don't do it
When you wanna cum

Relax, don't do it
When you wanna suck it to it
Relax, don't do it
When you wanna cum.

And it's not like the video wasn't a tip-off:

Although, I think they did end up having to make a different video for MTV with the band performing on syage with lasers and whatnot but still, this has to be the dirtiest song to ever get mainstream airplay.

Monday, July 19, 2010

Another (alleged) Domestic Terrorist

I-580 shootout suspect mad at left-wing politics

Monday, July 19, 2010

Oakland -- A 45-year-old parolee, described by his mother as angry at left-wing politicians, opened fire on California Highway Patrol officers on an Oakland freeway early Sunday and was hit by return fire while wearing body armor, authorities said.

Williams' mother, Janice Williams of Groveland. . . said her son, who had been a carpenter and a cabinetmaker before his imprisonment, was angry about his unemployment and about "what's happening to our country."

Williams watched the news on television and was upset by "the way Congress was railroading through all these left-wing agenda items," his mother said.

Police found in the truck a suspicious object that prompted investigators to call a bomb squad to the scene. The object was detonated Sunday without mishap in the center divide of the freeway.

Law enforcement sources said Williams has a history showing he is both anti-government and anti-corporation, and against liberal causes.

The Alameda County Bomb Squad robot takes a handbook from... Lacy  Atkins / The Chronicle

The Alameda County Bomb Squad robot takes a handbook from the shootout suspect's truck on I-580 in Oakland on Sunday.

"There is no doubt in our mind, given the body armor and the extensive amount of ammunition he had, that he was on his way to do a very serious crime against either someone or a group of people," Cross said.

Among that evidence was a white three-ring binder recovered from the truck by a bomb squad robot. Scrawled by hand on the cover of the binder was the word, "California." Officials would not describe the contents of the binder.

(full story here)

Janice Williams [the suspect's mother] said she kept the guns because "eventually, I think we're going to be caught up in a revolution." But she said she had told her son many times that "he didn't have to be on the front lines."

She said she had no explanation for his actions.

Really? I can think of one. Being raised by a paranoid lunatic, maybe?

This Song Goes Out to Dick Cheney, Who's Recovering From Heart Surgery

Attractive Eighties Women: Gonna Throw A Party When You Die

I have only one wish for when your life ends,
Come back as a zombie, I'll kill you again!

Sunday, July 18, 2010

How can One person be This Dumb?

Remember how we all laughed at Sarah Palin for coming up with the word "refudiate" a couple days ago? Well, apparently, it was not so much a slip of the tongue as she honestly thinks that this is a real word:

Refudiate screenshot

Then she took that "tweet" down and replaced it with this:

Sarah Palin - Refute Mosque tweet


–verb (used with object), -fut·ed, -fut·ing.
to prove to be false or erroneous, as an opinion or charge.
to prove (a person) to be in error.

You know, Sarah, I actually would like to refute the "Ground Zero Mosque Plan," if I may. There is no plan to build a mosque at "Ground Zero." No Muslim church or organization owns that land and therefore, they can not build anything there. The land is owned by, I believe the Port Authority, or maybe the City of New York, but either way, there is not going to be a mosque built there.

There is a plan to build a mosque and Islamic Community Center a couple of blocks away from ground zero, that is true. But since the Cordoba Institute owns that land, they can do with it as they wish. Property Rights. Look it up, it used to be a core conservative value.

Never one to just let something drop, Palin has responded to criticism thusly:

English is a living language

No. No we don't got to celebrate it. And Shakespeare coined new words on purpose, not by misunderstanding already existing words. And what the fuck is "wee-wee'd up?" Where the hell does that come from? Never mention Shakespeare again, you stupid, stupid person!

Saturday, July 17, 2010

David Thorne May Be The Funniest Guy I Never Heard Of Until Today.

Defending mel Gibson

I would have thought that never-been-funny-comic Whoopi Goldberg would be the only one stupid/nutty enough to stick up for Mel Gibson. I was wrong. Commentors on the FOX "News" website have no qualms about sticking up for ol' Mel.

The defenses range from the sorta-qualified:


Mel is still an awesome director, producer and actor. Granted, there is no excuse for his outrageous ranting behavior, however, we do not know the circumstances that brought that on. MG is a very complicated man.

(excusing Mel's behavior while stating that there "is no excuse," way to cover all the bases!)

To the conspiratorial:

Cordell Olsen

Crusade Against Mel Gibson Stamped, Sealed and Delivered by the New World Order

To the blame-deflecting:


Mel's really gone into the toilet, hasn't he? Should have stayed with your wife, Mel. What did he expect from this money grubbing bimbo?

To the flat out might-as-well-have-been-written-by-Mel-himself:

Julianne Walton

They want to go after Mel Gibson cause He made a movie about Christ and everyone knows that most of the hollywood industry is saturated with jews. This is their way to get back at him.

Hey, that sounds kind of racist, there, Julianne!

I am not saying this in a racist way it is simply the truth...if you don't believe me just check it out for yourself.

Thanks, I will!
Oh, and you're a goddamned idiot. I'm not saying that in a racist way, it's just true!

Anyone else want to weigh in?

Leaf Evans

If she was shaking her baby like he claims, she deserves more than just a broken tooth.

Way to support and encourage domestic violence, Leif! And by the way, the name "Leif" is spelled with an I, not an A.

It goes like this:






Anyone else?


I never heard of Bing Crosby being jailed for his conduct. I think Gibson should be left alone. I dont know the personal circimstances involved and I have never hit a woman. Having said that, since women have equal rights and serve in combat roles they should be able to defend themselves. I recall Sean Connery in a Barbra Walters interview once said that "upon occasion I do believe its permissible to slap a woman."

And there is no greater moral authority than Sean Connery. In fact, my minister used to always say "if you can't find the answer in the Bible, just rent Goldfinger. If Sean Connery says it's Ok, then who are we to disagree?"


Oxi and Mel are just the perfect pair. Made on "earth" for each other. Notice how when they first shown footage of them on tv....notice oxi was towing him along like a ragdoll? No respect at all. I would never drag a man around like that.....and if he let me, I would not want him. $$$ or not! Men should be rugged, hairy and masculine.....YOWZA! mmmm Mike Rowe, good example of YOWZA! The Cheaters deserve each other. Maybe she is a dominatrix and things got out of hand....who knows.

Yes, because when S&M play gets out of hand, it is usually the dominatrix who suffers injury? I guess?

I think you

North Dakota

He Should've Taken Her Deep Sea Fishing Like Joran & Natalee



She probably had it coming. How come women can push men's buttons to the point the snap and when they do they get arrested? She is probably using the child as a pawn, not letting him see her, threatening custody and visitation..etc. The women should be arrested for mentally abusing men.

Ummm, Okay. You do realize that you're pushing my buttons now, right? So I guess I can knock your teeth out and then have you prosecuted for making me snap? Is that how it works?


I somehow think she's a bi-polar maniac. Gibson was married for years with six kids and he did nothing ever to hurt them. She's driven him to the edge it looks like and don't blame him in ways for his feelings and reaction. A hormonal woman is something to be feared


This individual is what gives woman a bad name. She's after his money and wow she's gonna get paid big. Peolple use many words to express what they feel especially when their angry, that doesn't make you a racist. The N word is basically in everyones mouth these days.

Um, not everyone's! Just racists' and rappers'. And by the way, you mean "they're" not "their."

Okay, we have time for one more. Anyone got a real grand finale kind of comment to go out with?


I use the "N" word and I am not a racist. A racist is one that is prejudicial against a race. When blacks act like thugs I call them niggers. When Mexicans act like thugs I call them spics. When whites act like thugs I call them white trash. So race has absolutely nothing to do with the language you use. I will say however that I am put off with the way all the minorities are being catered to because they are minorities.

Crazy Candidate of the Day -- Oops, Sorry! Edition

Ooooohhhhh, now I feel kinda bad. Previous Crazy Candidate of the Day Ernest Pagels apparently really is crazy. Literally. He was discharged from the Air Force after being diagnosed with some sort of "paranoid personality disorder."

Apparently, he does not think that this should disqualify him from holding public office.

Also, he's a birther! Surprise, surprise!

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Defending the indefensible: Palin vs. Whoopi

Here's Palin being stupid and spouting gibberish in defense of the teabaggers on stupid Sean Hannity's stupid show of stupidness:

And yeah, she uses the word "refudiate," which is of course, not an actual word, but that's not even the stupidest part. Claiming that teabaggers don't tolerate racism is like sying that my car doesn't tolerate gasoline. Of course, nobody's saying that ALL the teabaggers are racist,I'm sure some of them are just baboon-ass insane in non-racist ways. Some of them just can't distinguish between small steps toward healthcare reform and Nazi Germany, but when you see people with signs like this:

cameronr:  Teabonics (via Pargon) This doesn’t even make sense.

And no one is objecting, well, that's pretty much the dictionary definition of "tolerating racism."

Oh, and here's a lovely "tweet" from the Springboro Tea Party leader:
Nope, nothing racist there!

And what is this "beautiful movement, full of diverse people, diverse backgrounds" she talks about? The teabaggers are about the least diverse group I've ever seen, and what the fuck is so "beautiful" about a bunch of angry fat people screaming about Nazis and Communists and Tyranny? What beauty do you see in that?

Submitted by snowbird
What beautiful threats of gun violence those are!

Submitted by Snowbird

Aah, so beautiful! And just look at the diversity!

Oh, wait. No, there he is! There's our "diverse" guy!

And it's interesting that the racism isn't what's divisive, it's the NAACP pointing out the racism that's divisive.

And this is just gibberish: "So to be called a racist, yes, those over there on the left who are opposing that good message of Tea Party Americans are using this racism accusation in order to keep people away from not only the movement, but keeping them — keeping a wall built between what the message actually is and the American public that is today receiving that message very well."
And Tea Party Americans is not an ethnic group. It's like calling me a baseball American, or a blogger American. It's just stupid. Almost as stupid as sticking up for Mel Gibson.

But no one could possibly be sticking up for crazy Mel right about now, right?

Oh, Jeezus!

Seriously? Mel's not a racist because he's nice to your face? You've never met someone who's insincerely pleasant? I smile and converse pleasantly with people I can't stand every day. It's called having a job. Just because I listen to "Bob" prattle on about his impressions of next year's NBA teams without screaming at him to shut the hell up and try doing some goddamned work for a change you lazy piece of crap, doesn't mean that I actually like that loser. And Mel's an actor. He can fake nice better than most.
And you know about drunks, right? You know that they say stupid shit when they're drunk, right? But do you really think that Mel has no problem with Jewish folks, it's just the alcohol talking. He doesn't really know what they're saying? Don't be ridiculous! What alcohol does is lower your inhibitions so that you say out loud what you normally have enough sense to only think. If Mel's sober, he says "Oh, I'm sorry, Officer, was I speeding?" but he's still thinking "Bloody Jew! You people are responsible for all the wars in the world." He's still an anti-Semite, he just has enough sense to keep it under his white hood--I mean under his hat!
And then after all that about how drunks say things they don't mean, you say "I don't think he was drunk." So, according to your theory, he really meant the "pack of N---ers" comment. So how is he not a racist?
Claiming that Mel Gibson is not a racist is like claiming that Roman Polanski didn't rape a 13-year-old girl.

Ooohhh, right! That's strike 2, Whoopi.

Oh, yeah! I forgot about that! Steeeeerike Three! Yer out, Whoopi! Please never speak publicly again.