Tuesday, June 29, 2010

I Apologize to Texas

Sorry, Texas.

I shouldn't have said that you make the rest of us look sane by comparison. At least not before getting a gander at the Idaho GOP platform.

Take for instance, Resolution 2010-02:
Whereas the county sheriff is the chief law enforcement office of the county; therefore Resolved, assert the Tenth Amendment and put the US Government and Idaho State on notice, that all police Actions be under and approved by the sheriff - including - but not limited to FBI, ATF, state Highway Patrol, and USFS. . . .

That's right, FBI, ATF, etc. you will all respect the authoritah of the County Sheriff!

Thet's right, boy, I'm in charge of this here investigation! Step aside, Agent Cooper!

Although I must say I'm not sure why Idaho State has to be put on notice.

Or there's the section entitled Sound Currency:

We recognized the failure of the Federal Reserved [sic] System to maintain a sound US dollar and the danger of merchantile [sic] controlling the issuance of our currency. We believe the Federal Reserve Bank should be abolished. . . and encourage citizens to engage in a systematic acquisition of precious metals which represent real value as opposed to paper currencies.

Let free Idahoans pay taxes, and other fees due to the State, County and City in silver and or gold in any form. Payments to City, County, or State employees requested to be paid in silver and or gold, Will be complied with.

Oh, that's going to be fun. Let's see, I owe you $1200 dollars, I believe this bag of gold nuggets will cover that. Gold! Gold, I tells ya, Gooooold!

This party platform brought to you by Goldline International!

We. . . affirm the right of voters to vote for the candidate of their choice.

Okay, that sounds great. Very nice. Probably unnecessary, but still. Very nice. But wait. what was that in the previous paragraph?

We support to restore the constitution's checks and balances and to protect the rights and sovereignty of the states by repealing the 17th Amendment.
[atrocious syntax in original]

What the hell? You don't want people to be able to vote for their Senators? I thought you were big on voters and democracy and all that good stuff. Why would anyone want to repeal the 17th Amendment?

So, anyway, they go on about the State of Idaho should nullify any Federal Laws that they don't like, and how jurors should be able to interpret the law as they see fit, not as some fancy-pants judge tells them to, cause what does he know, he just went to Law School and spent his adult life in the courtroom. I figger I know just as good as him!

And they resolve that the Iowa legislature should pass a "Health Care Nullification Act," because they got it into their heads that they only have to follow laws that they like.

So, Texas. I apologize. Maybe you're not any crazier than anyone else. And besides, you did give us Molly Ivins, Willie Nelson, and King of the Hill.