Saturday, May 15, 2010

Leave Britney, I Mean Bushie, Alone!

Neil Cavuto, perhaps the tooliest tool in the FOX news tool chest, thinks we should stop blaming W for the things that he is, um, responsible for.

The Statute of Limitations for Blame

Tuesday, May 11, 2010
By Neil Cavuto

Is it me, or is George Bush the gift that keeps giving? Now he's the reason for this big old Gulf oil spill.

Today, Massachusetts Democratic Congressman Ed Markey saying: "For years, the Bush administration's oil strategy placed the granting of drilling leases ahead of safety review."

Ipso-facto — Bush to blame for the big leak-o.

If you can't refute the accusation, you can always fall back on sophomoric rhyming! I think I learned that in Debate class.

Just like he's apparently behind that big thousand-point swing-o.

Just like he's to blame for the unemployment rate that's higher than when he left office, and the deficits that are much higher than any year he was in office.

All problems, all Bush, all the time — probably until the end of time.

Right, why would he bear any responsibility for policies enacted by his administration? Why should a recession that began on his watch be laid at his feet?

It's the NCAA recruiting violation principle. See, if a coach for State U. breaks the rules, say, offers recruits money, hookers, and booze to come play for State, and the NCAA finds out, there are sanctions to be levied. So the first thing that happens, is the dishonest coach leaves State U. and gets a job at A&M Tech, where there are no sanctions, because A&M Tech's previous coach didn't break the rules. Meanwhile, the new coach at State U. gets saddled with a program that has lost its right to offer scholarships or whatever because his predecessor was a cheater. See, once the old guy leaves, the new guy gets held responsible for whatever shit the old guy pulled. In the world of college sports, this is considered totally fair.

cavuto_sumos.jpg image by martin_fierro

So Cavuto is not being a dishonest, whining little douchebag here. He's just following the NCAA's example. Once Bush left office, he is no longer responsible for things that he did. Whoever occupies the Oval Office at this moment is culpable for every mistake ever made in that office. So I look forward to hearing Barack Obama's excuse for Teapot Dome. And I will never forgive him for the Gulf of Tonkin Resolution. How dare he?

I've heard him ripped for everything from making our kids fat, to our allies furious. Everyone still furious at him for destroying us, all the while forgetting how he might have had a tiny role in protecting us.

You know, except for that one day in September, but that's really such a minor blip on the radar. Also, offer not valid in New Orleans.

But those in power now seem to be admitting they were all powerless then — pretty much useless then. Mere marionettes then, whose strings were apparently pulled by a guy they're calling an idiot now.

Yes, those in power now were not in power then. How is this a confusing concept? Just because the Democrats are in the majority at this moment does not negate the fact that they were recently in the minority.

Oh, I'm sorry Neil. "Fact." It's a noun meaning:

1. something that actually exists; reality; truth: Your fears have no basis in fact.
2. something known to exist or to have happened: Space travel is now a fact.


Think about that now, and ask yourself this: When does the statute of limitations run out on blaming someone?

I don't know, when it stops being true? When will it no linger be my fault that I sideswiped another car and took off the sideview mirror? God! That was like five years ago. It's not my fault anymore! Once someone else is in the driver's seat of that car, it's their fault that the mirror is missing!