Friday, October 30, 2009

Happy Halloween


I Dare You!

Thursday, October 29, 2009

The Crazy Broadcating Network

Have you ever actually seen the stuff they talk about over on Pat Robertson's CBN website?

'Cuz it's pretty nutty!

Here's what they have to say about Halloween:

"During this period demons are assigned against those who participate in the rituals and festivities. These demons are automatically drawn to the fetishes that open doors for them to come into the lives of human beings. For example, most of the candy sold during this season has been dedicated and prayed over by witches."

"Curses are sent through the tricks and treats of the innocent whether they get it by going door to door or by purchasing it from the local grocery store. The demons cannot tell the difference."

Oh, yeah. They're serious! Deadly Serious!

They don't mean demons in your candy the way that prohibitionists spoke of "demon rum." They mean DEMONS!!!!Okay, what else you got on Halloween?

It is generally agreed by historians that Halloween came to take the place of a special day celebrated by the ancient Druids.

The Celtic peoples lived in northern France, throughout the United Kingdom, and in Ireland. They engaged in occult arts, worshiped nature, and gave nature supernatural, animistic qualities.

Okay, looks like maybe you folks can be normal after all. Go on, you were saying about the Druids?

Interestingly, it has been claimed that 90 percent of the world’s sometimes mysterious “crop circles” lie within the geographical proximity of the ancient and possibly Druidic ruins of Stonehenge. At least some of these phenomena may be considered supernatural.

I'm sorry, what?

Crop circles? go on, pull the other one!

Here's another scaaaarrrryyyy story to put you in the Halloween Mood.

After watching a horror movie at the age of 12, Tara and her brother talked their mom into buying a Ouija board. What started out as innocent fascination turned Tara’s life into a nightmare filled with paranormal activity and oppression. An evil presence made itself known almost immediately.
“I could tell it was spelling something, but it was going so fast I couldn’t tell what it saying but I saw my name. It was saying, ‘I’m gonna kill you, Tara. I’m gonna kill you, Tara’ over and over.

She stopped playing with the Ouija board, but Tara’s life was dominated by loneliness and fear.

“I felt so alone. I felt like I didn’t have anybody. It’s almost like I was under this dark could of oppression. I opened that door to evil into my life. It brought in destruction. It brought in a dark oppression in my life. It seemed like everything from that point forward was spiraling downward.”

Strange things occurred around her, objects moved through her room at night, loud noises would echo through the house when no one else was home.

“I heard stomping up and down the hall, and I thought my dad’s home and he is not too happy. I ended up looking out into the hall and there was nobody there.”

Tara eventually got married and moved out of the house, but the darkness went with her.

“I would hear this loud evil chanting. I didn’t understand the language. It didn’t really sound like a human voice. It didn’t sound like a human voice could talk in that tone and be that loud. It felt like it was right there. You could definitely tell that it wasn’t outside. It was inside the house.”

Tara’s marriage eventually fell apart. One night as she slept she had a vivid dream that she was violently murdered.

Then I woke up. I opened up my eyes, and it just hit me that one day I’m going to die.

And now. . . . The Punchline:

Tara is now a prayer counselor with The 700 Club.

Here's another Halloween-themed article:


Suffer Not the Trick-or-Treaters

Did you ever wonder why Halloween seems to primarily feed off
of a market of 3-13 year olds?

No. No one has ever wondered that. Just like no one has ever wondered why the World series appeals primarily to baseball fans. But go on.

Did you ever wonder why Halloween seems to primarily feed off of a market of 3-13 year olds? This is a Satanic ploy for our children.


Seventeen-year-old Luke Woodham killed two students and wounded seven others in his Mississippi school after he became involved in Satanism, which he said bestowed "power over many things."
This is the state of some of the American children who are showing up at your doorstep on October 31st. I'm not saying that each of them are secret agents of the occult, yet it is important to consider the souls of the children behind the masks.

Are you sure? Are you sure that they're not all secret devil agents? How can we be so sure? Shouldn't we just run and hide from the little children just to be on the safe side?

Sadly, the demonic hauntings I experienced growing up are common among many young children today. I would venture to say that 20 years later, it has gotten much worse. The lures of the Enemy are running more rampant. Children do not have to sneak over to their friends' houses to access demonic influences.

So we should be afraid of every child we ever see anywhere, then. Right?
Gosh, I wonder what could be making the children so darn evil?

Occultic-oriented rock performers have flourished in this generation.

I think maybe you're thinking of the 1970's?

Not that any of these guys were actually occultists either, any more than Boris Karloff and Bela Lugosi were really monsters, but anyway. . .

Okay, one more spoooooky article, then it's lights out, kids!


Do Vampires and Ghosts Really Exist?

By Steve Russo

Ooh, ooh! call on me! I know the answer! It's NO!

Isn't it?

Are vampires real?

According to the Ancient Society of Vampire Hunters, there’s a difference between true vampires and human ones. True vampires are supernatural undead creatures with specific identifying characteristics. These characteristics are lacking in the human vampires, who sometimes call themselves ‘‘real vampires,’’ but are in reality simply misguided humans.

Oh, Come On!

Do ghosts exist?

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say no?

But what are ghosts? Are they spirits of people who have died?

Um, No?

So do ghosts really exist? If they aren’t angels or spirits of dead people, the only other reasonable possibility is that ghosts are probably demons.

What? No. No, that is not the . . . no. No! How is that your "reasonable possibility?" Reasonable possibilities are things like "that noise is just the house settling" or "the flickering firelight makes the shadows look like they're moving." or "you had a bad dream."


The way I understand it, aren't demons sentenced to an eternity in Hell? How are they getting time off to come up to Earth and haunt people or make their ouija boards issue death threats? Who's in charge down there, Micheal Dukakis?

(if you're under 40, google Micheal Dukakis + Willie Horton)

For more stories like this one, sign up to receive's Family Wrap-Up in your email every Friday.

Oh, man. I'm doing it. I'm signing up right now. This is too good a freak show to pass up!

Torn Between Two Loves!

I can't decide whom I love more.

Alan Grayson

Or Al Franken

God, I love how the contempt drips from his voice.
And I love how the hack from the Hudson Institute thinks she got him with the cancer question, and Franken just hits it out of the park.

President Obama Honors Fallen Troops.

This is how it should be done.

Watching the current president choking back tears while solemnly honoring the fallen makes me think of the way the previous president behaved.

I hope that Barack Obama's trip to Andrews to watch some of our best young people come home in boxes inspires him to bring all of our troops home.

But I'm not holding my breath.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Sweet Hammer of Thor, I fucking Hate Joe Lieberman!

With friends like Joe, who needs enemies?

(from UPI)

WASHINGTON, Oct. 28 (UPI) -- U.S. Sen. Joe Lieberman, Ind-Conn., threw cold water onto Democrats' healthcare reform effort, saying he'll help filibuster unless the public option is yanked.

God Damn it, Joe! See, this is why everyone hates you. Why would you possibly oppose a public option?

I think a lot of people may think that the public option is free. (source)

No. No one thinks that. That is a straw man argument that the opponenets of reform have constructed. Everyone knows it will cost money. The difference is that instead of money coming out of your paycheck to go to Aetna, money will come out of your paycheck to go to a publicly-run plan. A plan that will not have a profit-motive to screw you out of coverage. Everyone knows this. You're either stupid, or you're lying.

If the public option, the government run health insurance company, negotitates hard to lower the reimbursement, the money it's paying to hospitals, doctors, they're gonna have to get that money somewhere, and where they're gonna get it is from the 200 million Americans who today have private health insurance. Premiums will go up. It's exactly what's happened with Medicare and Medicaid.

So the problem is that the public option will cost too little?

My hospitals in Connecticut told me a while ago that they get 70 percent of the average cost of patient care from Medicaid, about 90 percent from Medicare. If that was it they'd go out of business. So they charge the private health insurance companies 130 percent of the average cost, and that's what would happen with this new entitlement, new government run health care program. It's just not worth the risk.

Really? Really? The private health insurers hire such shitty negotiators that they end up paying 130% of the cost? Really? Have you ever looked at a health insurance statement?
I'm looking at one right now. Column 1 reads: Piedmont Hospital, X-Ray or Lab Services. Amount submitted, $358.00 Column 2 reads: Amount Negotiated or allowed, $70.91

For the mathematically impaired, that means that Aetna negotiated a payment of 19.8% of the amount the hospital was billing. Where the hell do you get 130%? Joe, "your" hospitals in Connecticut are lying to you. Well, probably not lying, exactly. The hospitals may be billing private insurers 130% of the cost, but the insurers sure the fuck aren't paying it!
So, you know what? He wants to filibuster, call his bluff! Somebody lend Harry Reid a pair and tell him that if Joe wants to filibuster, make him do it for real. Make him go all Jimmy Stewart and keep talking for days on end. Let the public see just how hard Joe is willing to work to make sure that they don't have access to a public healthcare plan. A plan which polls continue to show is popular with the public.

Make sure everyone in America has a chance to turn on C-SPAN and see how hard Joe Lieberman is willing to work to protect insurance industry profits. Then everyone can join me in shouting "Sweet Hammer Of Thor, I Fucking Hate Joe Lieberman!"

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Holy Crap! The AP Does It's Freakin' Job!

AP IMPACT: Statisticians reject

global cooling

WASHINGTON – Have you heard that the world is now cooling instead of warming? You may have seen some news reports on the Internet or heard about it from a provocative new book. Only one problem: It's not true, according to an analysis of the numbers done by several independent statisticians for The Associated Press.

Holy Crap! I can't remember the last time I saw a major news outlet actually verifying the veracity of someone's claims. Usually, the best you can hope for is that they'll quote someone who disputes the claim and say "OK, we've presented both sides, we'r objective!"

But someone at the AP finally figured out that there aren't two sides to every story. If the story is about, say, the budget, you can have someone on one side saying "this is a good budget" and someone on the other side saying "this is a bad budget" and really, neither one can be right or wrong, it's a matter of opinion. But if one person claims "the budget totals 3 trillion dollars" and the other side claims "the budget totals 10 trillion dollars" then you have the responsibility to figure out which is correct. Because they can't both be right. (although they can both be wrong)

So with stories about global warming, if one side says "the planet is getting hotter" and the other side says "the planet is getting cooler," you need to find out which is correct. And damned if the AP didn't actually do just that!

In a blind test, the AP gave temperature data to four independent statisticians and asked them to look for trends, without telling them what the numbers represented. The experts found no true temperature declines over time.

The recent Internet chatter about cooling led [the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration's] climate data center to re-examine its temperature data. It found no cooling trend.

Statisticians say that in sizing up climate change, it's important to look at moving averages of about 10 years. They compare the average of 1999-2008 to the average of 2000-2009. In all data sets, 10-year moving averages have been higher in the last five years than in any previous years.

So thank you, Associated Press, for finally doing your fucking job!

Now where the hell was this when Bush was claiming there were WMD's in Iraq?

Rush Limbaugh has No Integrity

Let's say you had a radio show.

And let's say you read something that was posted on a humor/satire website.

And let's just say that you were dumb enough to believe it and too lazy and perfidious to do any basic fact-checking.

Then let's say that after you reported the joke as fact, you were informed that the joke was, in fact, a joke.

There are a couple of legitimate responses from which you could choose.

You might say something like: "Sorry, folks, it looks like I've been had. That story was made up as a joke. I'll try to be more careful in the future."

Or you could get angry at the person who posted the joke and try to blame him for your mistake.

But what if you were Rush Limbaugh? (uggggh, shudder!)
If you're Rush Limbaugh, you go with the "it's false, but I stand by it" defense.

"So, I can say, "I don't care if these quotes are made up," he said. "I know Obama thinks it.

"You know why I know Obama thinks it? Because I've heard him say it."

Monday, October 26, 2009

She Does Have A Point

Louisiana Senator Mary Landrieu was on NPR recently, where she had this to say about polls which show a majority of Americans favor a public option.

"I think if you asked, 'Do you want a public option but it would force the government to go bankrupt,' people would say 'No,'" she said.

Well, she does have a point.

Just like if you asked "would you like a nice cold beer?" most people would say "Yes." However, if you ask "would you like a nice cold beer that Mary Landrieu has peed in?" most folks will say "No."

(I believe the lone "yes" came from Sen. David Vitter.)

Or if you ask would you vote for Mary Landrieu, many Louisianans answer "yes."
But if you ask "Would you vote for Mary Landrieu knowing that she is kinda dumb and thinks that you can be easily manipulated by tricky questions?" you get a lot more "No's"

Saturday, October 24, 2009


For the last Caturday before Halloween, the Daily Irritant is proud to present:


Just A Reminder

This spooky little girl would just like to remind you,
just one more week until Halloween!

Friday, October 23, 2009

I'm starting to think they really believe their own b.s.

The other day, whenIi was writing about Bill Donohue, I got to thinking: Does he really believe his own b.s.? Does he really think that Western civilization and culture are being beaten down by multiculturalism, or that anyone who makes a Christian-friendly movie gets "run out of Hollywood"?

And of course, he's not the only one who seems determined to play the victim at every turn. Check out today's helping of bullshit from Charles Krauthammer.

Fox wars

The 'post-partisan' president makes an enemies list

Friday, October 23, 2009

The White House has declared war on Fox News. White House communications director Anita Dunn said that Fox is "opinion journalism masquerading as news." Patting rival networks on the head for their authenticity (read: docility), senior adviser David Axelrod declared Fox "not really a news station." And Chief of Staff Emanuel told (warned?) the other networks not to "be led [by] and following Fox."

The signal to corporations is equally clear: . . . Think twice before you run an ad on Fox.

. . . the current White House goes beyond that. It wants to delegitimize any significant dissent.

Fox News is no monopoly. It is a singular minority in a sea of liberal media. ABC, NBC, CBS, PBS, NPR, CNN, MSNBC vs. Fox. The lineup is so unbalanced as to be comical -- and that doesn't even include the other commanding heights of the culture that are firmly, flagrantly liberal: Hollywood, the foundations, the universities, the elite newspapers.

So, maybe Charles Krauthammer actually believes that making an unflattering (though demonstrably correct) remark about FOX News is tantamount to declaring war.

And maybe he does really believe that ABC, NBC, CBS, etc. are lefty equivalents of FOX.

You know, I could maybe give him MSNBC if we ignore the fact that they give Republican Congressional alumnus and Gingrich revolutionary Joe Scarborough his own show. And ignore the fact that they trot out Pat Buchannan every couple of days as if he had anything legitimate to say. But even if we pretend that MSNBC is the liberal FOX, no rational person could think that ABC, CBS, NBC, etc. are doing anything other than doing a second-rate job of reporting the news. So I had been assuming that people like Krauthammer were just being disingenuous. But maybe they aren't. maybe they really do think of themselves as victims.

I think people of that ilk have confused supremacy with parity. I think that they look at FOX, where their view is given complete supremacy (and facts be damned) and they actually see it as fair and balanced. Whereas they look at, say CNN where their viewpoint is treated as one possible point of view they actually see this as an attack on them and their values.

Maybe this is why, when the cashier at Wal-Mart says "happy holidays," thus acknowledging that some people celebrate Channukah or Kwanza, or nothing, they see this as a "War on Christmas!" Maybe they really do feel this way, as if Christmas is under attack from some unseen malevolent force.
So maybe Bill Donohue really looks at multiculturalism as a threat to Western Civilization. Maybe in his mind, if the Dead White Men canon is not taught as the indisputable pinnacle of achievement, it's the same thing as saying Shakespeare Sucks! To a normal person, it sounds like "Shakespeare was a great writer, but so were James Baldwin and SEI SHŌNAGON. But to the Donohoes of the world, it's one or the other. If Omar Khayyamm was a great poet, then somehow that diminishes Keats and Whitman.

It's like you say to a Philadelphia fan, "hey, the Phillies are a great team, but the Yankees are looking pretty good, too" and the guy from Philadelphia shouts "Why are you always running down the Phillies?"

So maybe this is why these folks always seem to think that everyone's against them, everyone's out to get them!
Look, Krauthammer even thinks "the foundations" are biased against the right.

. . . . flagrantly liberal: Hollywood, the foundations, the universities, the elite newspapers.

The foundations include groups like the Heritage Foundation, the American Enterprise Institute, the Competitive Enterprise Institute, the Family Research Council, the Hoover Institute, The Free Congress Foundation, the CATO Institute, The RAND Corporation, the Adolph Coors Foundation, the Koch family foundations, and the various Mellon-Scaife family foundations. And there are more conservative/right-wing foundations where these came from.
And sure, there are also progressive foundations like People for the American Way,, etc. but the right-leaning groups far outstrip progressive ones in numbers, money and influence. But to someone like Krauthammer, the fact that there are progressive foundations at all translates in his mind to the world of the foundations being biased towards the left. Either the foundation-o-sphere is the exclusive domain of right-wing opinion or it is irreperably slanted against the right. There is no in-between.

Maybe that's why there's no reasoning with people like that.

T. Boone Pickens is a Dick

WASHINGTON - Oil tycoon T. Boone Pickens told Congress on Wednesday that U.S. energy companies are "entitled" to some of Iraq's crude because of the large number of American troops that lost their lives fighting in the country and the U.S. taxpayer money spent in Iraq.
"They're opening them (oil fields) up to other companies all over the world ... We're entitled to it," Pickens said of Iraq's oil. "Heck, we even lost 5,000 of our people, 65,000 injured and a trillion, five hundred billion dollars."

Of course, by that logic, if someone were to invade the Pickens estate and shoot T. Boone Pickens, he would be entitled to inherit at least some of the Pickens fortune.

Hey, T. Boone. You see this guy?

This guy is less dickish than you.

All About My Work

Kim Kardshian and Reggie Bush are back together!

Why should you care?

You shouldn't.

But it gives me an excuse to post this , wherein Kim explains the source of their past relationship problems:

Kim and boyfriend Reggie Bush, split in July but are now back together and working on their issues. "Before, I was strictly all about my work," Kim admits.

Her "work"!
She was all about her work!

Someone please explain to Kim what work is.

Being followed around by cameras is not work.

Dressing like a streetwalker is not work.

Actually being a streetwalker would probably qualify as work, in that you are doing something unpleasant for money, but you actually have less dignity than a streetwalker.

Streetwalkers do what they do out of desperation. You made yourself in to a whore out of what? Boredom? An insatiable lust for unwarranted fame? A burning desire to be well-known without having accomplished a fucking thing?

See, here's an example. See what Reggie is doing here? That's work. It involves effort.

What you're doing here is not work. You are expending no effort. You're only making Reggie's work more difficult.

So Kim, I think it's safe to just go ahead and stop concentrating on your "work" now.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Rush has Lost It.

Okay, I'm going to go ahead and call it, as of Thursday, 10/22/09, Rush Limbaugh has officially lost it.

Limbaugh said, “Obama is out there saying that Fox News is talk radio. I am living rent free in this guy’s head. Fox News is talk radio. If that’s true, MSNBC is pornography, and Obama likes MSNBC. CNN is child porn, my God folks…”

If MSNBC is porn, that's got to be the worst porn ever. Look at this cast:




OH, Ye GAWDS!!!!!

As for calling CNN "child porn?" I don't even get it. I think Rush has just gone completely 'round the bend.

I remember when I first stumbled on to Rush Limbaugh on the radio back in 1988 or 89. He was an ass even then, but he was kinda funny. He was entertaining in his way, and he made sense. I disagreed with him on pretty much everything, but at least I could understand what point he was making. Now he's like a mental patient. What the hell is he even saying about MSNBC and CNN? What in the world would you find pornographic about either network?

I think he's just given up any pretense of trying to make sense and now just shouts vile accusations at whomever it is he doesn't like. I expect that in his personal life, he must be constantly making these sorts of claims

"My ex-wife is a reptilian Satan-worshipper!"

"That rude waiter was a Nazi collaborator!"

"The guy who cut me off in traffic is a puppy-raping child murderer!"

"My other ex-wife is a baby-fisting lycanthrope!"

And so on.

Rush, it's over. You need help. Please, check yourself into a psycho ward before you hurt yourself or someone else.

What could be Lamer?

Finally, the answer to that age-old question:
"What could be lamer than a Civil War Re-enactment?"

Well, this.
This could be.

St. Martin’s Press and Gingrich Communications Announce First Ever Historical Re-enactment on Twitter

“Twitternactment” to Re-enact the Battle of Trenton

Newt Gingrich and God knows how many other pathetic weirdos will be re-enacting the battle of Trenton using Twitter.



Twitter users can follow General George Washington (@genwashington76), Jonathan Van Dorn, a private in the colonial army (@pvtvandornNJ), and Hessian commander Colonel Johann Rall (@colonelrall), as they simulate the crossing of the Delaware River and the attack on Trenton the following morning in real time.

So you thought guys running around in Confederate uniforms firing toy guns at each other was pathetic? You don't know the meaning of the word "pathetic" until you've witnessed a Twitter battle!

Yeah, I'm pretty sure that if Twitter had existed in the 18th Century, George Washington would Not have taken time away from fighting the Revolutionary Fucking WAR to send "real-time tweets" to a bunch of douchebags in their jammies. If General Washington had caught one of his men "tweeting," he would have had him court-marshalled if he didn't just shoot him in the head to save time.

“In To Try Men’s Souls, Bill Forstchen and I try to bring Washington and the other historical figures to life, trying to imagine what their conversations were like and what they were feeling while crossing the Delaware in extreme cold and sleet,” said Newt Gingrich. “This “twitternactment” will be a new way for people to experience history “in the moment.”

Someone needs to tell Newt that imaginary conversations using anachronistic technology probably doesn't qualify as actual "history." Let me save you some time, you want to know what Washington and his men were feeling while crossing the Delaware?
Cold And Scared.

There, now you can skip the Twit-enactment, or whatever it's called.


Credit Card Advice

Woman holding credit card up to face, looking up (Getty Images)

Worst things to do with credit cards

1) Eat Them

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

You Like Me! You Really Like Me!

Hey, Check Out What I just Won:
This super-cool award was given to me by JADEDJ the auteur of Banquet of Consequences.

So apparently I'm pretty awesome.

No Wonder It's Selling So Well!

I was wondering how they were selling so many copies of a book "written by" Sarah Palin.
Now I know. It's organizations like and Newsmax buying up tons of copies to use as free giveaways.


Get Sarah Palin's New Book

Great Offer #1!

Get Sarah's book FREE with our Newsmax magazine offer — Go Here Now.

$34.95/yr. plus your choice of a free book
with your subscription

Subscribe today by clicking below on your free book choice.

take a look
Arguing with idiots, glenn beck
Even for free, I think I'll pass, thanks.

do me a favor, though. Since Sarah and Newsmax and SarahPac and whoever are bound to put their ads under this post, go ahead and click on them. Don't buy anything ar sign up for anything, just click on their ads. It'll cost 'em a couple of bucks which will make me smile. And the revenue keeps Blogspot operating as a free blog-hosty thing.

Being Glenn Beck for Halloween

I need to start practicing.

Let me just slip on the Crazy pants

Here goes:

Why in the world do so many words end in -allow?

There can't possibly be another set of 5 letters which end so many English words.

Callow is a word.
Sallow is a word.
Swallow is a word.
Tallow is too.
So is Gallow.

Hallow, Shallow, Fallow, Mallow, and Wallow are all real English words.

Ballow is rarely seen, but it's a real word, too.

That's eleven, and I'm no linguist. Oh, and that's not counting ALLOW itself, which is a word on its own.

Why were the inventors of English so obsessed with these five letters? I think it's obvious.

the first three A-L-L spell the word ALL.
The next two stand for
One & World.
All One World, as in the One World Government.
The early speakers of English were trying to warn us about the coming of the One World Government as foretold in Revelations, Nostradamus, and the U.N. Charter.

Or were they trying to plant the idea in our heads that we should Allow the One World Government.

Hmm, interesting isn't it that English itself is an amalgam of French and German. One Language for One World. And it's right in front of our faces, but we just can't see it.

Wow! I've gotta stop this. I can see how easy it is to make yourself crazy. I do not want to end up like crazy Glenn Beck.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Bill Donohue is a real person! Who knew?

I'd seen Bill Donohue on the Colbert Report and I had just assumed that he was acharacter created for the show, like the black Republican character that Tim Meadows portrays occasionally. But no! Apparently, Bill Donohue is a real person, and his organization, the "Catholic League," is an actual thing. Who knew?

And here's the proof. Could a fictional character pen a column for the Washington Post? The Washington Times, sure. But the Post? Probably not!

America's secular saboteurs


There are many ways cultural nihilists are busy trying to sabotage America these days:

Wow, right off the bat! Opening strong with a burst of paranoia right in the first sentence. I think we can see where this is going already. The "nihilists" are going to be "anyone with a point of view different than Bill Donohue's." And anyone with a different point of view is naturally OUT TO DESTROY AMERICA!!!!!

multiculturalism is used as a club to beat down Western civilization in the classroom;

Right, because acknowledging the contributions of other cultures is obviously the same thing as saying that Western Civilization Sucks!

Everyone knows that the only literature worth reading is Shakespeare, Mark Twain, and the King James Bible. If students are required to read, say Gabriel Garcia Marquez, or the Epic of Gilgamesh, well, how will they know that everything good ever written was written in English, which is the language God speaks because English is so obviously superior to every other language ever. Hmm? How are they going to learn that? Answer me that, smug little multi-culti nihilist.

Not for nothing, but wouldn't a belief in multiculturalism make one definitionally NOT a nihilist? Just sayin'. Do go on, Bill.

sexual libertines seek to upend the cultural order by attacking religion;

Unless you're referring to the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence*, I have no idea what you're talking about. Who is attacking religion while being a sexual libertine. I think sexual libertinism would take up so much of one's time that one would not have much opportunity to attack religion.

activist left-wing legal groups try to scrub society free of

the public expression of religion;

Yeah, not true. The ACLU, et al have no problem with you or anyone else expressing your religious views publicly. The ACLU in particular would fight any effort to keep you from doing just that. That is what they do. What they object to is the use of public funds and publicly-owned land for religious expression. They like the idea of the separation of church and state. And so should you, by the way, because if the US of A ever did decide to pick a state-sponsored religion, you can bet that it won't be Catholicism. There are way more Protestants around. But don't worry, the ACLU will be there to prevent Protestants from persecuting Catholics should that day ever come. It's what they do.

elements in the Democratic party demonstrate an animus against Catholicism;

Really? You know John Kerry, Pat Leahy, Ted Kennedy, Bob Casey, Chris Dodd, Joe Biden, Dick Durbin, Tom Harkin, Nancy Pelosi, Hilda Solis, John Dingell, Charles Rangel, and Dennis Kucinich are all Catholic. And there are more, lots more. Check it out.(LINK)

and secular-minded malcontents within Catholicism and Protestantism seek to sabotage their religion from the inside.

What makes people like Bill Donohue so paranoid? Why do you think everyone's out to get you, Bill? Do you really believe that there are discontented catholics who think to themselves, "I should just quit this church, but no! I will remain in the pew and take down this whole organization from the inside! Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!!!!" Do you know how ridiculous you sound?

Ok, that's one paragraph. Just the first paragraph of Bill's diatribe. And I left a little out. And I'm already exhausted. Let me take a quick kitten break.


Oh, well hello to you too, little fella!

AAAA!!!! (squeal like a schoolgirl) That did it! I'm re-born! I'm ready to plunge back into the demented world of Bill Donohue!

Ok, you were saying, Bill?

Yesterday's radicals wanted to tear down the economic structure of capitalism and replace it with socialism, and eventually communism.

Oh, my God! Bill Donohue accidentally wrote something that is correct. There actually have been radicals who have wanted to replace capitalism with socialism or communism. Good job, Bill! Keep it going!

Today's radicals are intellectually spent: they want to annihilate American culture, having absolutely nothing to put in its place.

Oh, well it was nice while it lasted.

Seriously Bill, that's just too ridiculous even for you. Who are these people who want to annihilate American culture and replace it with. . . .nothing? Who do you think wants that? Come on, you should be able to at least name just one of these people.

In that regard, these moral anarchists are an even bigger menace than the Marxists who came before them.

Because they're imaginary!!!!!

Sexual libertines, from the Marquis de Sade to radical gay activists, have sought to pervert society by acting out on their own perversions. What motivates them most of all is a pathological hatred of Christianity.

I think what motivated the Marquis de Sade was his raging boner. I'm pretty sure that all sexual libertines are motivated by their libidos. They probably aren't throwing orgies and key parties (look it up!) with invitations reading "Come to Bob and Jane's house Friday night for a big let's-hate-Jesus-festival."

So, Jim how was the orgy last night?

Oh, it was great! We really stuck it to those Catholics! Western civilization is bound to fall any day now!

They know, deep down, that what they are doing is wrong, and they shudder at the dreaded words, "Thou Shalt Not." But they continue with their death-style anyway.

Because deep down, everyone has the same mores as Bill Donohue. Most of us just don't know it yet. But the libertines, they know. They just manage to repress it long enough to finish the orgy.

Secular saboteurs have often seized the arts to make a statement. That's why the blasphemous often tracks the obscene: if the goal is to put an artistic dagger into the heart of culture, then it makes sense to use all the ammo available by attacking the sacred.

That's why there's a bazillion-dollar porn industry in the San Fernando Valley. There's such a large assortment of people who are ready and eager to get naked and screw on camera if it means the destruction of that Goddamned western civilization.

I will not have sex on camera! I'm not that kind of girl!

C'mon, baby! If you do, you'll be plunging a dagger into the heart of American culture!

Well, why didn't you say so? In that case, I'm willing to sacrifice my dignity for such a noble cause!

There was a time when Hollywood made reverential movies about Christianity. But those days are long gone.

Now, Hollywood chooses to try to make movies that will make money instead.

And when someone finally makes a film that makes Christians proud,
he is run out of town.

That has never happened. Never, not once, not ever. You made that up. Who has been run out of town? No one, that's who. You're just making shit up.

Were it not for Mel Gibson, there would have been no "Passion of the Christ." But for every Harvey Weinstein who likes to bash Catholics, there is always someone else waiting in the wings to do the same.

So you've just decided to give up on the whole trying-to-make-sense thing? Yes, Mel Gibson made "The Passion." Was he run out of town? No! Even after his anti-Semitic, drunken rant he was not run out of town. The next sentence about Harvey Weinstein just doesn't follow. It's like a bad edit. I think you're running out of steam, better wrap this up.

Catholics were once the mainstay of the Democratic Party;
now the gay activists are in charge.

Which is why gay marriage has been legalized and "don't ask, don't tell" has been repealed. Oh, wait! neither of those things has happened! But if the gay activists are running the party with majorities in both houses and the presidency, you'd think. . . . oh never mind. If Bill says it it must be true!

Indeed, practicing Catholics are no longer welcome in leadership roles in the Party:

May I introduce to you Nancy Pelosi.
And John Kerry.
And Joe Biden.
Never mind, we've been over this already.

The fact that Catholics for Choice, a notoriously anti-Catholic front group funded by the Ford Foundation, has a close relationship with the Democrats says it all.

Catholics for Choice. Is Anti - Catholic. Catholics. . . . who are anti Catholic? How paranoid can you be? Why would the Ford Foundation waste its time and money trying to undermine the Catholic Church? Do you ever listen to yourself? Do you know how crazy you sound?

This goes on for a while, but seriously, I don't have the strength. You can read the whole crazy mess here if you're interested. I'm going to just skip to the end.

The culture war is up for grabs. The good news is that religious conservatives continue to breed like rabbits, while secular saboteurs have shut down: they're too busy walking their dogs, going to bathhouses and aborting their kids.

Okay, what decad is this? There are no more bathhouses! They were all shut down in the '80s during the AIDS panic. And what do you have against dog-walking? Catholics don't walk their dogs? Because they're too busy fucking all the time? (to make more Catholic babies, certainly not for any enjoyment!)

Are you sure you're not a Colbert show character?



Monday, October 19, 2009

The Crazy Lady has Too Much Time On her Hands

The crazy lady is named Debbie Schlussel.

And when Debbie is not busy modeling her biker mama - sheriff of Israel vest,

Or cuddling with Sean Hannity,

She has her own website. Which people read. Really!

And she writes about important things.

Like Tinkerbell.

The Disney character.


See, this is the way most of us remember Tinkerbell :

Tiny skirt, bare legs, low-cut top, really not the sort of outfit you'd want to wear if you were going to be flying overhead, am I right, ladies? Also, not an outfit you would want to wear if you would like to not be mistaken for an underaged sex worker.

So Disney decided to give Ms Bell a new outfit for their latest straight-to -video masterpiece.

Seems reasonable, right?

Now she can fly around in a non-hoohoo-exposing skirt, and not have to worry about popping out of her top. Seems like people should be happy that their little daughters get to see aTinkerbell who isn't always half-naked.

But no.

Reasonable? Debbie Schlussel doesn't do reasonable.

To Debbie Schlussel, the new outfit represents some sort of triumph of the pro-gay Muslim feminist agenda? or something? Idon't know. let's let Ms Schlussel explain her objection to a cartoon character's outfit.

Tinkerbell Gone Butch: Disney Revamps Glamorous Nymph Into Tomboy

By Debbie Schlussel

Either Disney is trying to appease “modest” Muslims or they’ve gone the way of the rest of Hollywood and are trying to make their feminine characters more masculine.

Right, because when you are making a sequel to Peter Pan, your primary target market is the hijab-wearing observant Muslim demographic.

And, clearly Hollywood is making female characters more masculine. Why just look at these recent films!

Yeah, what a bunch of butchy tomboys are coming out of Hollywood these days. Cooking, falling in love with vampires, wearing animal-print dresses. How can you even tell the boys from the girls anymore?

Either way, the new and unimproved uniform and image of Tinker Bell leaves a lot to be desired from the formerly cute and feminine minidress clad nymph.

Right, the new Tinkerbell is so not cute! You know, except that she is. But clearly she oughta be showing more skin. Come on, Tinkerbell, the guys aren't paying to see you act!

The new image is butch and silly.

I'll give you silly, seeing as how her outfit is made of leaves, but butch? Really? Because she's not flitting around in a skirt that would make a hooker blush, that makes her "butch"? Really?

Gone is the cute strapless green dress, the magic wand, and very visible angel wings.

As you stated moments ago, Tinkerbell is a nymph. Not an angel.

Gone are the girly shoes, and now, instead, there are lace up boots reminiscent of the Jolly Green Giant, Robin Hood, or an elf. No, your mother doesn’t wear hiking boots. Your Tinker Bell does.

Yes my mother does wear hiking boots. When she's hiking. You got a problem with that?

And what Tinkerbell is wearing are hardly hiking boots. Have you ever seen hiking boots with pom-poms on them?

Oh, and now, there’s this stupid-looking visor/hat contraption, which I predict will, someday in the future, morph into a hijab.

Wow. I predict that you will never predict anything correctly ever. And a lot of women wear visors. Go watch a softball game sometime. The visor keeps the sun out of her eyes without giving her "hat-head."

Disney said it wanted to give “Tink” a tomboyish look. Uh, talk about overdoing it. The new Tinker Bell could be dating Rosie O’Donnell.

Right, because any woman who dresses in a practical outfit is obviously a big ol' lesbian! And so what if she were? (I prefer to think of cartoon characters as asexual, but since you brought it up) What if Tinkerbell had a crush on Wendy instead of Peter? How would that be any of your business? Tinkerbell is entitled to have a private life!

There’s nothing wrong with rebranding something to keep up with the times, but turning a charming, cute girly character into some masculine, butch action star is stupid. Unless your audience is strictly WNBA.

Because every woman who has ever played sports is a total lesbian!

Honestly, you really think this:

is butch and masculine?

If you’re a parent who thinks the new covered up version is a welcome change in a sexualized world, think again.

No, don't. You got it right the first time, parent. Why exactly should we think again?

. . . .think again. Tinker Bell has been wearing a skimpy dress for decades

And this is relevant how? Cartoons featured characters in blackface for decades, should that also not have been allowed to change?

Tinker Bell has been wearing a skimpy dress for decades (watch the slide show). That’s what nymphs who fly around with magic wands do. This isn’t about modesty, or she’d be wearing baggy clothes and they wouldn’t have been in talks with a porn star [Paris Hilton]to play her.

I don't know how to break this to you, but nymphs who fly around with magic wands are imaginary! So there really is no data to support your claim. You might imagine nymphs flying around half-naked, I would imagine them wearing jet packs and space suits. Also, it may surprise you to learn that porn stars are capable of being fully dressed. Remember that show Roseanne? The waitress who worked in Rosanne's sandwich shop? That was infamous porn star Traci Lords. She was in several episodes and not once did she disrobe or perform any lewd acts on camera. I'm quite sure that if Disney had signed Paris Hilton to play the part of Tinkerbell, they would have supplied her with appropriate wardrobe.

This isn’t about putting your girls in a less sexually-saturated world. It’s about putting them in a more emasculated one, where the men are girls and the Tinker Bells are men.

Seriously? You think the disney corporation is part of some evil plot to emasculate the world? (since just over half the world's population is female, I'm not really sure how that would work) And how did the men become girls? Did they also change Peter Pan's outfit? Did they make it somehow gayer than the original?

And that’s never a good thing. As I always say, matriarchical societies die. They simply don’t have staying power.

Okay, if you're going to make a claim like that, you really have to have some evidence to back it up. Where is your research? The fact that you always say something doesn't make it true. And neither does the fact that to you it seems like it should be or must be true because it fits in with your peculiar ideology.

And by the way, every society dies out eventually. Seen any Etruscans lately? When's the last time you met an Inca or a Babylonian?

Matriarchal societies (and yes, the word is matriarchal, not matriarchical) have no staying power? Well, if most women were like debbie Schlussel, then that would probably be true. But if you had smart women in charge, women like, say Hilary Clinton, Barbara Boxer, Nancy Pelosi, etc. I'd have to think that things would go just fine. How much worse could they do than the guys?

Butch Disney characters for girls is not a positive development.

And we know this because Debbie Schlussel has declared it to be so. You know, Deb, I have 3 nieces and I would way rather have them look up to WNBA players than a half-naked nymph. Although I would rather they saw the cartoon nymph as a role model rather than someone like you.