Monday, November 29, 2010

Terrible Marketing Campaigns -- Miller Lite

Miller Lite certainly isn't the first product to use the "if you don't buy our product, you're not a real man" approach, but usually it's somewhat less blatant than this:

I don't know what's more ridiculous, the whole "If you don't like Miller Lite, you're probably just some big ol' pansy" approach or the initial premise that a person might actually walk up to a bar, order a beer, and then say "No, I don't care what it tastes like." Who would say that? What would be the motivation for saying that?  Of course, maybe the most absurd facet is the idea that someone who cares about the taste of their beer would order Miller Lite. What, were they all out of aquarium water? No saline solution around? Run out of Pruno?

But yeah, if you're not interested in Miller Lite, you're probably all gay or something. Or European! And we all know how silly and effete Europeans are!

And I don't know what the Hell is supposed to be going on here:

I guess they just went to all that trouble so they could get away with sorta calling the guy a "pussy?"

Well This is Insane!

You thought it might be a good idea to maybe not destroy the entire planet? Wrong, Heathen! You're just another tool of the Green Dragon! The Green Dragon will destroy us all and send us all to hell or something equally unpleasant! And it has the nerve, the nerve! to use Fear-Mongering! Why aren't you scared yet? They'll force your children to um, recycle things! And they'll convince you to I don't know, drive a hybrid or something! Afraid yet? No? What if I told you the One-World Government was involved? Would you be scared then? Well so what if the One World Government is just a figment of the fevered imaginations of paranoid conspiracy buffs? Does that make them any less terrifying? Oh, it does? Oh. Okay. Well, it's still pretty scary, know why? 'Cuz it's a dragon. No, not a real dragon, that would be silly, but still we're calling it a dragon, so ergo ipso facto, it must be pretty goddamned scary, don't you think? Here, just check it out:

Resisting the Green Dragon full promo from Cornwall Alliance on Vimeo.

(via Wonkette)