Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Hank, you're a successful professional athlete. You have money, muscles and I'm told that you're considered pretty easy on the eyes. Plus you seem pretty charming and charismatic.You must have had countless young women vying for your attention.
So, I gotta tell you, you are actually in a position to marry someone who:
A) is not as dumb as a bag of rocks.
B) has not been seen naked
by every teenage boy
who ever skulked into a Barnes & Noble
C) has not been surgically mutilated
and D) has not been defiled by this lecherous mummy:
Seriously, Hank - what the fuck? Was Tila Tequila not available? The "Rock of Love" girls not returning your calls? Missed your chance at Anna Nicole Smith?
No, but she seems nice, though. Mazeltov.
If you live in Georgia or know someone who does, pass this plea for help along to any teabaggers you may know:
Calling all John Galts in Georgia
Wed Sep 23, 2009 at 05:00:31 AM PDT
We really need your help.
As you may have seen in the newspapers, radio and the intertubes, much of the state of Georgia is underwater. People have lost their homes, cars and other precious things (like children and loved ones, but I know those are not quite as important to you folks...).
But foolishly, they are looking to the Government for help.
Starting with our Governor Sonny 'rugged individualist' Perdue, they are now calling on the Government to help.
That's where we need you John Galts and teabaggers who really, really want the Government out of all our lives.
Please call Rep Price and tell him to stand fast to his principles of no Government intrusions in our personal lives. Remind him of how steadfastly he shares your belief that the Government is never the answer.Also, we are looking for some volunteers to go into Douglas County and tell the homeowners in the area that they should fix their flooded homes themseleves.
Please remember to picket the fire department to remind people that they are depending on a 'Government service' to show up in boats to help them leave their flooded homes. Ideally, in a free market economy, the market should determine what it is worth to you to be saved by a boat.
The full article is a little longer, read the full text here: (LINK)