Friday, October 29, 2010

Report Finds Halliburton Knew Deepwater Well was Unstable. Also, Sky is Blue.

Halliburton admits skipping test on Gulf well cement

Commission finds BP, partners knew formulation was unstable staff and news service reports

updated 10/29/2010 8:06:00 AM ET 2010-10-29T12:06:00
Halliburton Co. acknowledged late Thursday that it skipped doing a critical test on the final formulation of cement used to seal the BP oil well that blew out in the Gulf of Mexico.
Halliburton said that a successful test was performed on a mixture different than the one eventually used. While some tests were conducted on the new formulation requested by BP, those tests did not include a foam stability test, the company said.

Halliburton Co. made the admission in a statement issued Thursday in response to findings by the presidential oil spill commission.

A commission staff letter issued earlier Thursday said BP and Halliburton knew weeks before the Deepwater Horizon explosion that the cement mixture they planned to use to seal the new well was unstable but still completed the work.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

New Rules

On the way home from work the other day, I heard on the news that one of the prisoners at Guantanamo had been convicted of terrorism. Then the news guy said that the crime this person committed was throwing a grenade at an American soldier. I thought I must have heard wrong, because throwing a grenade at an enemy soldier really seems like exactly what you're supposed to do during a war and not terrorism at all.
But no, that's apparently what happened.

WASHINGTON — A former child soldier being held at the military prison at Guantánamo Bay, Cuba, pleaded guilty on Monday to terrorism-related charges, averting the awkward prospect that he would be the first person to stand trial before a military commission under the Obama administration. The defendant, Omar Khadr, 24, a Canadian, admitted to a military judge that he threw a grenade that killed an American soldier during a 2002 firefight (emphasis added)

So I guess the new rule is that if your country gets invaded by a foreign army, you are not allowed to fight back. At least if that army is American. If you're invaded by America, you'll take it and like it. Honestly, if I weren't so emotionally stunted, this story would make me weep.

The centerpiece of the charges was not a conventional terrorism offense — targeting civilians — but killing an enemy soldier in combat. Usually in war, battlefield killing is not prosecuted. But the United States contended that Mr. Khadr lacked battlefield immunity because he wore no uniform, among other requirements of the laws of war.

New Rule #2:
If you are a Democrat in Virginia, it is apparently illegal for you to be in the same room with Eric Cantor:

A Louisa County man was arrested at a rally for Rep. Eric Cantor, R-7th, at Louisa Courthouse yesterday and charged with trespassing, resisting arrest and creating a public disturbance.
Jon Taylor, a Democrat, said today that he feels he was "manhandled" by Louisa authorities.Taylor said Cantor had promoted the event on his website, so he assumed it was a public event. "We RSVP'd," he said.
He and three other Democrats went inside the coffeehouse with the intent of asking questions ofCantor who has declined to debate Waugh.
Taylor said the Democrats were asked to leave by the coffee shop's owner. When they refused, authorities escorted them outside.

A spokesman for Cantor said: "The voters of Virginia are going to reject this thuggery." which sounds sensible until you read the full quote.

  Ray Allen, Jr, a spokesman for Cantor, said "this was a clear attempt to disrupt the meeting. The voters of Virginia are going to reject this thuggery."

So going to a meeting intending to ask questions of your Congressman is now considered "thuggery." 

New Rule # 3:

If you live in Connecticut, and you want to vote for Linda McMahon for whatever reason, you are now allowed to go to the polls dressed like your favorite rassler.

WWE garb allowed at polls, Connecticut judge rules 

WWE CEO Vince McMahon sued to make sure supporters of his wife Linda McMahon wouldn't run afoul of electioneering rules if they wore WWE merchandise to the polls.

On Wednesday US District Judge Janet Bond Arterton ruled that Nutmeg State election officials must allow voters to wear World Wrestling Entertainment-themed clothing to the polls.Such garb cannot be considered political advertising for former WWE CEO and current Connecticut GOP Senate candidate Linda McMahon, said Judge Arterton

 Because sure, why should the most basic building block of democracy be treated with any respect? Why shouldn't voters maintain the same level of dignity when voting as they do when attending Comic-con?


Dude, High Five!

Clouded leopard cubs jardin des plantes 2 rs 

Don't leave me hangin' Bro!

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Why Ken Burns, for God/s Sake?

During the intro to game 1 of the World Series, they had a voiceover guy read a Ken Burns essay about baseball. Almost ruined the whole thing for me.

I've loved baseball for as long as I can remember, but Jesus Christ, Ken Burns! It's a fucking game. It's not an allegory for life. It's not a metaphor for America. It's a game.

And really, if you want a game that really represents the American ethos, I think you gotta go with football. Football is a game based on the principle that I'm bigger than you, so I'm going to impose my will on you. I'm going to knock you down, run you over and invade your territory. What the fuck you gonna do about it?

That's America!

Crazy Candidate of the Day

Today's crazy candidate is Florida's Allen West

Mr. West is running for Congress from Florida's 22nd District.

West was a Lt Colonel in the US Army, which is pretty impressive. What's less impressive is this:

(From the Boston Globe)

US officer to resign for assaulting Iraqi

A disciplinary proceeding found that the actions by Lieutenant Colonel Allen West were serious enough to "merit a court-martial." But the military said in a statement that mitigating circumstances -- specifically, the "stressful environment" of combat -- and West's distinguished service record prompted the Army to instead relieve West of his command, fine him $5,000, and order him back to the United States, where he will be allowed to retire.

Yeah. He was kicked out of the Army. The only reason he wasn't court-martialed was that the Army figured he had just snapped under the stress of combat.

"Frustration and anger overcame his professional ethics and personal values, and he performed what he knew to be illegal and immoral acts," said the statement issued by the Army's Fourth Infantry Division.

So, hopefully being a member of Congress won't be too stressful, or he might just kick someone's ass right there in the chamber.

Just kidding! No, Allen doesn't need to get violent anymore. He has goons for that now.

Video: Allen West's Biker Supporters Threaten and Harass Dem Staffer

Apparently, West has some sort of ties to the Outlaws Motorcycle gang.

Last night, NBC News reported that Allen West has ties to an infamous motorcycle gang, the Outlaws, and was “proud” to have been guarded by the Outlaws. The Department of Justice has said the Outlaws are a gang known for making and distributing meth, committing homicide, and prostitution.  The Outlaws have been called “organized crime” syndicate.  The Outlaws have a history of denigrating women and considering women property –actually branding women like cattle. [Justice Department, National Gang Threat Assessment 2009, Published January 2009]

Columns written by Allen West, a former Army officer who is running against Democratic Rep. Ron Klein in a race that has become a national battleground, have appeared since 2008 in "Wheels on the Road," a racy and sometimes lewd biker magazine. Photos from the October issue include ads promoting an upcoming event with text written on a scantily clad woman's bottom along with sexually explicit columns.
The Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee cited one of the magazine's writers who said women exist "to serve man" and suggested they should wear "slave chokers" as accessories. They also allege the magazine promotes the Outlaws, a motorcycle gang linked to criminal activity.

Read more:

The WOTG website is here if you're interested.

Anyway, if that weren't enough reason to vote for whoever is running against West, there's this:  

EEEEEEWWWWW!!!!!!! Pam Geller!

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Irritate Your Friends!

So this is new. Well, new to me anyway. Now there are buttons for Facebook, Twitter, etc. under each post. Just click on one to post a link to your Facebook account or whatever.

You think people hate you now? Just wait until you start irritating them through social media!

Rand Paul and FOX are Disgusting

In the intro to this piece, the FOX on-air person refers to a "brawl" outside of the debate. This was not a brawl. This was one woman being attacked by at least 3 men. Calling it a brawl implies that there were fists being thrown on both sides.

This is a brawl:

Several men knocking down and stepping on one woman is not a brawl, it is assault and battery.

Then Rand Paul comes on and everyone talks about how they sure hate to see such incivility, as if the three men had insulted the woman or called her names or wolf-whistled at her. This was not incivility, this was a crime. And Paul's line about how passions were running high on both sides is just utter bullshit. Passions may have run high on both sides, but only one side got violent. How dare he pretend that there is some shared culpability for this incident?

Why won't he just condemn this? How hard is it to say "These guys don't work for me and I want nothing to do with them because they are obviously violent criminals who should be prosecuted." Why can't he just say something simple like that? Is he that worried about losing the misogynist thug vote? Just apologize! No one's blaming you directly. You were inside at the debate, you weren't orchestrating this assault, just say that you're sorry and tell your followers that this kind of behavior is unacceptable. By dancing around it you're giving tacit approval to your supporters to act like thugs. It's wrong, you know it's wrong, just say so.

ADDENDUM: According to Countdown w/Keith Olbermann, the asshole who stomped on the lady DOES work for the Rand Paul Campaign.

Monday, October 25, 2010

The Darling of the Tea Party Scene II

The Darling of the Tea Party
Act I
Scene II
Enter Sarah Palin surrounded by Todd, Bristol, Track, Piper, Trigg and the other one.

I am the queen of all the bees
I an the leader of the tea parties
The champion of God and guns

And we are her husband and her daughters and her sons,
Her husband and her daughters and her sons!

When at a tea bag rally
I'm the lily of the valley
For the spotlight's glare I never shun

And neither do her husband or her daughters or her sons!
Her husband or her daughters or her sons!

But when the press comes near
I simply disappear,
And run off to the land of the midnight sun

Or hide behind her husband and her daughters and her sons,
She hides behind her daughters and her sons!

Erick Erickson Could Not be Fuller of Shit

“All Catholics Are Pedophiles” — The Democrats’ Closing Argument

Posted by Erick Erickson

Okay, obviously no one has ever said this. Obviously this is something that Erickson just made up. Because no one has ever said "all Catholics Are Pedophiles." No one has ever even said "all Catholic priests are pedophiles." Nobody is saying this, much less making it the "closing argument" for an entire political party. So obviously, Erickson is so full of shit that some of it has leaked out into his silly little website.

But surely, he must be able to cite multiple instances of Democrats painting the entire Catholic Curch with the pedophilia brush to be able to make such an inflammatory claim, right? Well, no. No, not really. He does have this, though:

This is not the first time the Democrats have gone this route in this election season. This may, however, be the most desperate attempt.
And where Democrats are doing this in multiple places around the country, we can be sure they have hit on this as a theme within their world view. The theme, of course, being that all Catholics are pedophiles.
Okay, multiple places. Democrats have gone all anti-Catholic in "multiple places around the country," even though Catholics are generally seen a s a fairly reliable voting group for the Democrats( 55% to 44% for Obama), they went all Martin Luther on them in "multiple places," eh? Name one.
This time, in Missouri, Democrat Russ Carnahan has coordinated a smear against his rival Ed Martin. The attack alleges that Ed Martin was complicit in shuffling pedophile priests around St. Louis Catholic Churches while he served at the St. Louis Archdiocese.
That's it? You have exactly one example, and that example is of a single solitary Catholic man being accused of abetting pedophile priests, and you say that amounts to Democrats slandering ALL Catholics as pedophiles? So if I say that I think OJ Simpson was probably guilty of murder, am I calling all former NFL stars murderers? Or all naked Gun cast members?
I will say this, though. All people named Erick Erickson who blog on "Redstate" are full of shit.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Crazy Candidate of the Day

Today's Crazy Candidate is Arizona's Jesse Kelly.

Jesse Kelly is a teabagging Libertarian running for Congress from Arizona's 8th District. Jesse don't like no government regulations, and if a few people have to get Salmonella, well that's just their problem.

Via C&L:
During a question-and-answer period, a voter asked Kelly about the recent salmonella outbreak, which led to recall of more than half a billion eggs.The voter asked if Kelly, if elected, would he help pass a law that would allow the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) and other government agencies to shut down companies that have too many safety violations, such as the companies that allowed millions of eggs that sickened people to be sold to the public.

Sounds reasonable. Sounds more than reasonable, it really sounds like a no-brainer. Why aren't we able to shut down companies like Massey Energy, Deepwater Horizon, and Farmer Bob's Salmonelleggs when they have demonstrated repeatedly that they don't give a shit about safety?

Kelly responded that he doesn’t “believe what we’re lacking right now is more regulations on companies,” complaining that “you could probably spit on the grass and get arrested by the federal government by now.”

We don't need any dang guvmint reg'lations, and to prove it, here's a blatantly untrue scenario I just thought up!

When the voter followed up by asking, “Who’s protecting us?” Kelly responded, “It’s our job to protect ourselves.”

Seriously, if you don't have the scientific acumen to be able to test your food for salmonella before you eat it you really have no business eating eggs!

And when the lady asks “Am I supposed to go to a chicken farmer and say I’d like you to close down because all of your birds are half dead?” Kelly first demonstrates a stunning level of ignorance saying "I don't know much about chicken farmers or salmonella outbreaks. I really haven't heard much about that" (paraphrase) as if that's a defense. Then spouts some ridiculous completely untrue bullshit about regulations:

But I know this: Every part of our economy that is regulated by the government doesn’t have fewer disasters, it has more”

Does he have any evidence, any statistics to back this up? No. He does have a bizzare interpretation of the recent oil spill to offer as support for his stupid bullshit argument.
Kelly claims that the BP oil spill was the fault of the government because they wouldn't allow the oil companies to drill directly in the offshore fisheries. Never mind that BP consciously decided to violate safety procedures. Never mind that their penny-wise approach led them to omit a blowout valve that might have prevented the disaster. No, the real problem is that they couldn't just set up an oil derrick next to Bubba Gump's shrimp boat.

Check out the video:

This is what we're going to get if, as predicted, the teabaggers and their allies in the "mainstream" Republican Party retake the House and/or Senate this year. No regulations, if you get salmonella it's your own fault. Better a few people die of food poisoning than our libertarian ideals be compromised! No rules for oil companies, they can drill wherever they want and we'll just trust that they know best. And no matter how fucked up things get, we'll just wrap ourselves in the comfortable delusion that government interference would make it even worse.

Someone Just Said Something Dumber Than George Will

George Will is not off the hook, because this someone was Kim Kardashian, exhibit A in the case of Eevrything That is Wrong With Modern American Society. George is supposed to be intelligent. We almost expect an empty bikini like Kim Kardashian to say smothing like this:

"I hate when women wear the wrong foundation colour, it might be the worst thing on the planet when they wear their make up too light," she says

Famine, disease and warfare might also contend for the title of "worst thing on the planet," but yeah, the smart money's on women wearing the wrong foundation. Great going, Ray-J's urinal! Way to identify the big problems facing the planet.

George Will Makes the All-Time Dumbest Political Prediction


Northern Iowans are Minnesota Twins and Minnesota Vikings fans. This fact could be portentous 16 months from now when the Iowa caucuses occur and
Minnesota's two-term governor, Tim Pawlenty , probably will be seeking the
Republican presidential nomination.

Seriously? Are all Iowans this retarded, or just Republican Caucus participants?
You really think that Iowans are going to look at the slate of candidates and think, "Hmm, Pawlenty, he's from Minnesota, right? Hey, so are the Vikings! He's got my vote! I was going to vote for Newt Gingrich, but I really hate the Falcons!"

Now he may end up being right in a way, Pawlenty might do well in the Iowa caucus, but if he does, Will better not say "I told you so." That would be like saying "I knew the Giants would beat the Phillies because Orange is a way stronger color than red!" If I had predicted the Giants win for that reason, I would still be an idiot even though they did win.

Oh, but the stupid isn't done yet. Because Will goes on to add this:

His mild manner seems to appeal to some jalapeño-flavored conservatives. A new
biography of Rush Limbaugh says that, so far, Pawlenty is second only to Sarah
Palin as Limbaugh's choice for 2012.

So how does that bode well for Pawlenty? Seems like anyone idiotic enough to let Limbaugh influence their vote would go Palin. Assuming that he hasn't quit the race before their state's primary.

Oh, and also this:

Tall (6 feet 3), slender and rarely strident, Pawlenty probably is the only
potential president who will announce: "I'm not exactly Lady Gaga."

One would assume that no candidate would feel the need to point that out.

Saturday, October 23, 2010

The Giants Win The Penant

The Giants win the penant! The Giants win the penant! The Giants win the penant! The Giants win the penant! The Giants win the penant!

Crazy Candidate of the Day

Today's Crazy Candidate is Texas' own Stephen Broden.
The fact that Broden is a frequent guest on the "Glenn Beck Teabagging Himself Hour" would ordinarily be reason enough to assume that this candidate is crazy. But no, Broder went and took this to a whole other level:

from the Dallas Morning News:

GOP congressional candidate Stephen Broden says violent overthrow of government is 'on the table'

09:06 AM CDT on Friday, October 22, 2010
In a rambling exchange during a TV interview, Broden, a South Dallas pastor, said a violent uprising "is not the first option," but it is "on the table."

Oh, well as long as its not the first option, that seems reasonable to--HUWHAAAAAT???

That drew a quick denunciation from the head of the Dallas County GOP, who called the remarks "inappropriate."

Inappropriate? Inappropriate? That's it? That's the level of denunciation you have for this remark? An inappropriate remark would be something like "My opponent is a real weiner."
"If I lose, I'm gonna start shooting me some guvmint officials" is a little more than "inappropriate." I think the technical term is "sedition."

In the interview, Brad Watson, political reporter for WFAA-TV (Channel 8), asked Broden about a tea party event last year in Fort Worth in which he described the nation's government as tyrannical.

"We have a constitutional remedy," Broden said then. "And the Framers say if that don't work, revolution."

Watson asked if his definition of revolution included violent overthrow of the government. In a prolonged back-and-forth, Broden at first declined to explicitly address insurrection, saying the first way to deal with a repressive government is to "alter it or abolish it."

"If the government is not producing the results or has become destructive to the ends of our liberties, we have a right to get rid of that government and to get rid of it by any means necessary," Broden said, adding the nation was founded on a violent revolt against Britain's King George III.

Watson asked if violence would be in option in 2010, under the current government.

"The option is on the table. I don't think that we should remove anything from the table as it relates to our liberties and our freedoms," Broden said, without elaborating. "However, it is not the first option."

Friday, October 22, 2010

If Gilbert & Sullivan Were Alive Today

The Darling of the Tea Party
Act I
Scene I

Christine O'Donnell enters and walks to center stage.

Behind her is a chorus dressed in tri-corner hats waving "don't tread on me" flags.

Christine waves to the chorus and begins to sing.

When I was a girl with big '80's hair

I told people not to touch themselves down there.

That mean Bill Maher seemed to take offense

And everybody had a laugh at my expense.

Everybody had a laugh at her expense.

I didn't seem to notice that they laughed at me,

And now I am the darling of the Tea Party!

She didn't hear the audience go "hee hee hee"

And now she is the darling of the Tea Party!

Orchestra: dum-didee dum-didee dum-didee dum-didee

When the primary race had reached culmination

I found myself with the nomination.

Headed to the college for the big debate

I didn't understand the thing 'bout church and state

I grasped so little they rewarded me
by making me the darling of the Tea party!

She understood things so infrequently

That now she is the darling of the Tea Party!

So wingnuts of tomorrow you should study my case

There is no greater asset than a pretty face.

Don't go to Oxford if you want to get ahead

Go on late night television shows instead.

Go on Real Time with old Billy Maher instead

Just smile and advocate theocracy

And you may all be darlings of the Tea Party!

Baseball Look-Alikes

FOX Announcer Tim McCarver

Is starting to look like

Famous war criminal Donald Rumsfeld

Giants pitcher Tim Lincecum

Looks like

SNL character "Opera Man"

Phillies outfielder Jayson Werth

Jayson Werth watches his solo home run head over the right-field wall in the ninth inning, giving the Phillies a 4-2 lead. Werth also threw out the Giants´ Cody Ross at third base in the fourth.

Looks like

Doonesbury Character Zonker Harris

Giants reliever Sergio Romo

is starting to look like

Coffin Joe

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Kathleen Parker is Not a Witch. But she is Awful.

In an apparent attempt to accelerate its downward plunge from respectability, the Atlanta Journal Constitution has started running the syndicated columnist Kathleen Parker. I don't know what we did to deserve this. Her most recent turd of a column ran under the headline

Sisterhood's Perils: Women as dumb as men

and it opens with this line from MacBeth:

- Fair is foul, and foul is fair. There's something witchy in the air.

because you can't dicscuss women in politics without a bunch of "witch" references! That would just be silly!

"I am not a witch," insists Delaware Senate candidate Christine O'Donnell in an ad that forever will provide the exclamation point on a bewildering political season. Not since Salem have we witnessed such witchification of women who dared stray from the cauldron of the sisterhood.

There are so many things wrong with that 2-sentence paragraph one hardly knows where to begin.
Perhaps one might begin by pointing out that NO ONE has accused Christine O'Donnell of being a witch. No one has "witchified" her. The only person who brought up witchery in relation to Christine O'Donnell was Christine O'Donnell. Parker's implication seems to be that O'Donnell was treated as a witch or subject to "witchification" because she dared to break with I don't know, feminist orthodoxy or something which has upset the feminists who are, of course, the real witches. To sum up, how dare you call someone a witch? Now get back to your cauldron, you hags!

The only way Parker's above paragraph would make any sense is if she saw the "I'm not a witch" ad, had no idea to what O'Donnell was referring, was too lazy to google "O'Donnell + witch" and just assumed that someone must have accused her of witchery, else why would she feel the need to deny being a witch? And since O'Donnell is a right-wing-nut, it must have been those darn feminists, that "cackle of rads" who were responsible! That's just journalism101!

Now, we hear, female candidates aren't witches after all. Too rhymey with the B-word in these enlightened times.

Yeah, that's why. It's not because witches don't exist (at least not the cackling, cauldron-stirring spell-casting brides of Satan type of witches. I don't know whether Wicca priestesses refer to themselves as witches, can anyone enlighten me?) But yeah, it turns out that female candidates aren't witches for the sole reason that the word "witch" is too close to "the B-word." That's the reason. Although I would suggest you consult with the secretary of State as to how reluctant commentators are to use the "B-word" in reference to female politicians.

Do some of the women running on the GOP ticket make us cringe with embarrassment? Let me answer that question with a 2007 quote from O'Donnell:

"American scientific companies are cross-breeding humans and animals and coming up with mice with fully functioning human brains."

Double, double toil and trouble, indeed


No! Not indeed. What does O'Donnell's nuttiness and ignorance have to do with witches? Why even throw that in there? You've already impressed us with your familiarity with MacBeth, you don't need another quote.

Alas, it is not the first time a political candidate has become befuddled by facts beyond their ken. To which fact one hastily adds: Female and male.

Although it probably is the first time any candidate has said anything that bizarrely insane and still been considered a serious candidate.

. . . men and women can be equally dumbfounded and equally "mean," if in sometimes gender-tilted ways. What is gratifying about this season is that we have enough women running that we can criticize them without resorting to the old catfight canard.

Yes, we can skip over the old "catfight" canard and go straight to the "coven of witches" trope. I can't wait 'till we move on to the "harpies" meme or the "Medusa" allusion!

Some women, just like some men, are simply unqualified and should be "refudiated" on their merits or the lack thereof. That Queen Bee Sarah has led the hive of busy benefactors, meanwhile, should be cause for a celebration of sorts

How so? What is there to celebrate about this development? Palin has made it easier for women to be taken seriously as political candidates as long as they are inane, insane, and abstain in vain?

I'm 3-for-3!

That Queen Bee Sarah has led the hive of busy benefactors, meanwhile, should be cause for a celebration of sorts -- and would be if the brewing brood were Democrats.

Really? Seriously? That's what you're going with? You're gonna stick with that, then? If a Democratic woman had threatened "Second Amendment Remedies," another democratic woman had claimed that Hezbollah agents were traveling to Mexico, learning Spanish and jumping the border, and a Democratic woman had claimed that the CIA was performing secret experiments on the people of Kansas, that would be a cause for celebration? Willfully ignorant, empty-headed lunatics being taken seriously as candidates for high office should not be celebrated no matter the lunatics' party affiliation, gender or whatever. We already have enough brain-dead loonies in positions of responsibility.

. . . and would be if the brewing brood were Democrats. Why, a swell of liberal women threatening to take over the Congress with tough, manhood-withering talk would have the sisterhood in cackles.

Again with the cackles?

It is a testament to feminism that we have so many female candidates.

Of course, that's not going to stop me from trashing those darn feminists!
Freakin' witches!

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

This Thomas Lady Has Some Freakin Balls!

Nearly two decades after their "she said, he said" public battle, Anita Hill and Justice Clarence Thomas are back in the news. The reason? Thomas' wife, Virginia "Ginni" Thomas, left a voice mail message seeking an apology from Hill

An apology from Hill?

Oh, yeah, sorry Mrs. Thomas. Clearly I was in the wrong for being both a woman and attractive, thus forcing your husband to drool creepily on me, show me porn, and joke about gross pubes. I sure hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me!

In a statement to CNN, Virginia “Ginni” Thomas said: “I did place a call to
Ms. Hill at her office extending an olive branch to her after all these years,
in hopes that we could ultimately get passed [sic] what happened so long ago.
That offer still stands

Um, I don't think you understand what the term "olive branch" means.

Extending an olive branch would go something more like "Hey, I know my gross creepy husband got all skeevy with you a while back, but that doesn't mean you and I can't be friends!"

Or "I'm really sorry that my husband is a predatory pig-man. And I'm sorry that telling the truth about his loutish behavior resulted in your being slandered and defamed in a lot of horrible ways. Say the word and I'll kick him repeatedly in the balls while shouting 'this is for Anita!'"

Asking passive-agressively for an apology from the woman your husband mistreated, not really an "olive branch."

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Why is Massey Energy Still Allowed to Run Coal Mines?

You would think that causing the death of 29 of your employees would make you take safety a bit more seriously.

Feds: Inspectors Cite Dozens of Mines in
Feds find hundreds of mine safety violations in W.Va., Ky., other
states during September

Federal inspectors issued nearly 600 citations
for safety violations found at 30 problem mining operations across the country
in September, the Mine Safety and Health Administration said Tuesday.

"We are beginning to see signs of improvement at some mines, an
indication that these impact inspections are making a difference," MSHA director
Joe Main said. "Some continue to violate standards and place miners at risk."

Among those are Massey, Main said.

A Sept. 28 inspection
uncovered serious safety violations at Richmond, Va.-based Massey's Seng Creek
Powellton Mine, about 40 miles south of Charleston. Among other things, a
foreman acknowledged skipping mandatory tests for explosive gases.

"With over 7,000 trained members, some still make errors in judgment,"
Massey spokesman Jeff Gillenwater said.

Errors in Judgement? You know what an error in judgement is? Me deciding to eat ice cream last night. That was an error in judgement. Deciding to put lives at risk by intentionally violating the law? That's not an error in judgement. I don't know what to call it, but it's a little more than an error in judgement. By your standard, John Dillinger made a lot of errors in judgement every time he entered a bank.

You know, when you say shit like that, you make it pretty obvious that you're just not taking this seriously.

Although maybe you don't have to. Maybe you're just stalling for time until Rand Paul and the rest of the loonie libertarian anti-government teabagger brigade comes to Washington and makes it completely legal to kill your employees in the name of increased profits.

And the righties will still complain that there's too much regulation.

Monday, October 18, 2010

Happy Birthday, Chuck Berry

84 years ago today, one of the all-time greats in the history of American pop music was born.

Chuck Berry will always be remembered for the "duck walk" and the signature riff, but he never does get enough credit as one of the all-time great songwriters.

That's why EVERYONE covers Chuck Berry:

“If you had to give rock’n’roll another name, you might call it Chuck Berry” -John Lennon
“Why should I write songs when Chuck Berry wrote them all?” -George Thorogood

Sharron Angle's Handlers Still Letting Her Speak in Public

From the Las Vegas Sun:

Here is Sharron Angle speaking to a group of Hispanic students:

"So that’s what we want is a secure and sovereign nation and, you know, I don’t know that all of you are Latino. Some of you look a little more Asian to me. I don’t know that. [Note: it's the Hispanic Student Union. The whole room is Hispanic teenagers.]

Because if you want to win over a group of minorities, your best bet is to go with some variation of "Ah, I can't tell any of you apart!"

What we know, what we know about ourselves is that we are a melting pot in this country. My grandchildren are evidence of that. I’m evidence of that. I’ve been called the first Asian legislator in our Nevada State Assembly."

Yeah, I don't think anyone has ever called you that, Ma'am. I think maybe you heard wrong. Maybe they said you were the first Aging masturbator in the State Assembly. Maybe they said you were the first Crustacean in the State Assembly. Maybe someone said that you were the biggest frustration in the State Assembly.

UPDATE: The Angle campaign says she made that remark about being the first Asian legislator because "a reporter thought she looked Asian."

Has no one in Nevada ever seen an Asian person?

It's not that difficult. Check it out:

Asian Man

Hispanic Man

Asian Lady

White Lady

Crazy Asian Lady

Crazy White Lady

I suppose at this point, Angle should get points for not pulling at the corners of her eyes and chanting "Ching chong, me love you long time!"

UPDATE: Crooks & Liars has the video:

She's even stupider than I thought!

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Movies I Have Never Seen

That everyone just assumes that everyone else has seen.

In alphabetical order.


Bull Durham



Die Hard

Fast Times at Ridgemont High

Field of Dreams

Good, the Bad and the Ugly,The

It's a Wonderful Life


Lethal Weapon

Matrix, The *


Slap Shot

There will be Blood **


Top Gun ***

Also, I have never seen anything with Bruce Lee, Only one Dirty Harry movie, and only one James Bond (During high school, my friends and I would go see whatever happened to be playing at the $!.50 theater. That is how I saw "Octopussy," which killed any interest I might have had in seeing any other of the Bond series.)

* I saw a couple of scenes when my friend was showing off his fancy newfangled DVD player. They were awful.

** I know this got great ink, but I hated Magnolia, I wa underwhelmed by Boogie Nights, and I'm just not that eager to sit through, what is it, like 3 1/2 hours to give Paul Thomas Anderson a third strike.

** * I did see part of this at a friend's house. I fell asleep. I don't think I missed much.

Friday, October 15, 2010

The Washington Post is Pathetic, Tony Perkins is an Asshole

So last Monday was National Coming-Out Day. I didn't know there was such a day, but it seems like a good idea. Apparently, the Washington Post doesn't share that view, because their guest columnist for that day was the truly egregious Tony Perkins of the horrible Family Research Council.

There has been a rash of suicides in the news lately. We hear these horrible stories about young people being tormented to the point of ending their own lives simply because their classmates hate them for being gay. Truly horrible. So the Washington Post gets notorious gay-hater Tony Perkins to comment. What the fuck?

Here's the explanation they provided to GLAAD:

GLAAD's initial tweet:
The @WashingtonPost Gives Platform to Anti-Gay Activist #LGBT #gay

Washington Post reply:
Hi @glaad, we're working to cover both sides. Earlier, we hosted Dan Savage of It Gets Better in a live chat.

Yeah. They think that there are two sides to this story. The story about suicide. They had anti-suicide columnist Dan Savage (who is awesome, by the way) so now you have to have, what, a pro-suicide column for "balance?"

I'm not sure when this started, this insistence on "balance." I assume it's a byproduct of the 40+ year right wing assault on the media. Media outlets are so terrified of being labeled "left-leaning" or "liberal-biased" that they bend over backwards and forwards to give the appearance of objectivity to every story. That's why a large percentage of people believe that the "jury is still out" on global warming, because any time there's a story about rising sea levels or melting icecaps the media fell the need to include some Exxon-funded hack scientist proclaiming that up is down, hot is cold, and the icecaps are growing. It's bullshit, of course, but apparently enough people are buying it to make it worth the industry's while to keep funding the bullshit stream.

But this sinks to a new level of disgusting. Take a look:

Christian compassion requires the truth about harms of homosexuality

By Tony Perkins

The media has recently been filled with reports of several recent suicides by teenagers who are reported to have been victims of "anti-gay" bullying. Some homosexual activist groups lay blame at the feet of conservative Christians who teach that homosexual conduct is wrong, as well as pro-family groups such as Family Research Council which oppose elements of the homosexual political agenda, such as same-sex "marriage."

So right away, here comes the "oh, it's not our fault. Just because we teach people to hate doesn't mean we're responsible for their hatred!"

The Christians and pro-family leaders I know are unanimous in believing that no person, especially a child, should be subjected to verbal or physical harassment or violence--whether because of their sexuality, their religious beliefs, or for any other reason. Such bullying violates the Christian's obligation to love our neighbor as we love ourselves, and receives no support from the pro-family political movement.

Except for the verbal harassment they get from the pulpit.

Where bullying has occurred, the blame should be placed on the bullies themselves--not on organizations within society who clearly oppose bullying. I suspect that few, if any, such bullies are people who regularly attend church

Riiiiight. No one who attends church would be hateful towards the gay kids. Also, none of the Klansmen I know would ever be mean to black folks.
Look, I grew up in one of these conservative churches, and I know the contempt in which they hold gay people. And they're not shy about admitting it. They really seem to have this idea that people say to themselves "hmm, I'm evil, but I feel like I could be eviler. What could I do to really show my hatred for God and all that is good. . . I know, I'll be gay!"
Religious faith and a return to traditional family values are more likely to be a solution to the problem of bullying than a cause.

See, if you gays weren't destroying the family, maybe you wouldn't be getting bullied. So really, it's your fault!

However, homosexual activist groups like GLSEN (the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network) are exploiting these tragedies to push their agenda of demanding not only tolerance of homosexual individuals, but active affirmation of homosexual conduct and their efforts to redefine the family.

Exploiting these tragedies? Trying to prevent future such tragedies is not exploiting these tragedies, you asshole! How do you see a group of people that are trying to keep young folks from despairing to the point of suicide and think "how can I discredit these people?" What kind of horrible person thinks like that?

There is an abundance of evidence that homosexuals experience higher rates of mental health problems in general, including depression. However, there is no empirical evidence to link this with society's general disapproval of homosexual conduct.

Now I don't know why he included that link, because here is what it links to:

The results of several breakthrough studies are offering new insights on gay men, lesbians and bisexuals. Among the key findings:

  • Several studies suggest that gay men, lesbians and bisexuals appear to have higher rates of some mental disorders compared with heterosexuals, although not to the level of a serious pathology. Discrimination may help fuel these higher rates.

  • A study found lesbians reported equally strong levels of mental health as their heterosexual sisters and higher self-esteem.

  • A new study of gay and lesbian youth finds that they are only slightly more likely than heterosexual youth to attempt suicide, refuting previous research that suggested much higher rates.

So the article he links to actually seems to be saying the opposite of what he is saying.

And it includes this quote from Susan Cochran, PhD, an epidemiologist in the University of California, Los Angeles School of Public Health, who authored or co-authored many of the studies.

"these are certainly not levels of morbidity consistent with models that say homosexuality is inherently pathological." For another, the data simply don't prove either pro- or anti-gay arguments on the subject, whether it's that the inherent biology of homosexuality causes mental illness or that social stigma provokes mental illness in LGB people, she says.

You know, if you're going to lie, you really shouldn't link to a page that shows that you're lying.

Within the homosexual population, such mental health problems are higher among those who "come out of the closet" at an earlier age. Yet GLSEN's approach is to encourage teens to "come out" when younger and younger--thus likely exacerbating the very problem they claim they want to solve.

This time, he doesn't even bother trying to back up this claim with any sort of evidence.

This next paragraph might be the most disgusting:

Some homosexuals may recognize intuitively that their same-sex attractions are abnormal--yet they have been told by the homosexual movement, and their allies in the media and the educational establishment, that they are "born gay" and can never change. This--and not society's disapproval--may create a sense of despair that can lead to suicide.

So, one group of people tell you that you're an affront to God and you have to change a large part of who you are in order to be acceptable. A second group tells you you're fine the way you are, and don't bother trying to change because even if it were a good idea, it doesn't work anyway. And you're going to sit there and tell me it's the second group that causes despair?
The most important thing that Christians can offer to homosexuals is hope--hope that their sins, just like the sins of anyone else, can be forgiven and their lives transformed by the power of Jesus Christ.

Translation: brainwash them into thinking that they can and should pray the gay away. Tell them that being the person that they are is inherently a "sin" and that they need to change into a different person or they'll burn in hell. That's considered hope? Hope because you're going to lie to them and say that this kind of change is possible?

I knew a guy years ago who was trying to do this. He was trying to force himself to be hetero, he dated at least one girl that I know of. And he was miserable. And when he would call my friend "Joe" asking him to come to a gay bar and pick him up because he was too drunk to drive home, some people I knew said he was "just confused." I didn't know this guy very well, he was sort of a friend-of-a-friend or whatever, but I'm pretty sure his family disowned him. He had Christian bumper stickers all over his car and talked a lot about God, but no amount of religion was going to turn him into a breeder. I wish I had been more sure of myself back then. I could have taken him aside and at least tried to give him some support. I don't know where he is now, I don't even remember his name. I barely knew him, as I said. I just hope he's come to grips with himself and embraced his identity.

Anyway, Perkins' disgusting bullshit screed goes on in this vein for a while longer, I can't stand to even look at it. The article is here, if you want to read it. It's not a fun read, but it's a pretty good insight into how these people think. Also, at the end, the Post is kind enough to provide a link to the FRC, in case anyone reading this article would like a second dose of ugly hatred.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

It Might be Wise to Stay Out of Concord, NH for a While

Johnathon Irish of Concord, NH is either a member of, or is affiliated with the Oath Keepers.

The Oath Keepers, if you've been fortunate enough to not be aware of them, are a very scary offshoot of the militia movement. What makes them scarier than your average militia group is that their raison d'etre is to organize military personnel, veterans, and law enforcement officers around a promise to resist what they seem to think is incipient totalitarianism.

Well, recently Johnathon Irish and his already-married-to-someone-else fiancee, Stephanie Taylor, had their baby taken away by social workers.


According to John, they took the baby because of his affiliation with oathkeepers, which is totally true except for the "oathkeepers" part.

According to the Concord Monitor:

. . . according to an affidavit provided to Irish by the state Division for Children, Youth and Families, state officials took the child because of Irish's long record of violence and abuse. According to the affidavit, a judge determined that Irish abused Taylor's two other children. She is still married to the father of those children. . .
The affidavit also says that the police in Rochester report a "lengthy history of domestic violence" between Taylor and Irish, and that she accused him of choking and hitting her on more than one occasion. According to the document, Irish failed to complete a domestic violence course as ordered by the state, and that a hearing was held last month to terminate Taylor's parental rights over her two older children.

So, mainly it seems it was the whole domestic violence thing that concerned the State of New Hampshire more so than the oathkeepers thing. But you know, to-ma-to / to-mah-to.

Although, the whole Oathkeepers thing had to be cause for concern as well. Here's what Johnathon Irish's father had to say on the subject:
(via Crooks & Liars)
The reason they are concerned with Oath Keepers is that Johnathon has a fanatical attitude that Oath Keepers is an organization that is planning to overthrow the present government, and bring us back into strict accordance with the Constitution. And Johnathon's feeling on that is he needs to be acquiring weapons to be ready for that overthrow.

So, yeah, being a violent paranoid nut with a lot of guns might not really make you the best choice to be raising a baby.
Irish, 24, said in an interview yesterday that he had never abused his fiancee or her other children. He said he was unemployed and collected disability because he is blind in his left eye from a childhood accident.

"Ah hate thet ther dang ol' guvmint!" he did not add. "Now 'scuze me while ah go cash mah dis'billty check!"

Oh, but the reason you might want to stay out of New Hampshire for a while? This:


Oath Keepers plans rally

The director of a self-described anti-totalitarian group is urging supporters to rally outside a New Hampshire courthouse this week in support of an Epsom couple whose newborn was taken last week by state social workers.

Oath keepers and courthouses are generally not a good mix:

'Oath Keeper' under arrest after driving to Tennessee to take over courthouse, conduct 'citizens arrests' of public officials

A Georgia man has been arrested in Tennessee--authorities say he headed to Madisonville, armed and prepared to take over the courthouse.

Darren Huff stands charged of traveling in interstate commerce with intent to incite a riot and transporting in commerce a firearm in furtherance of a civil disorder.

The FBI says Huff traveled to Tennessee armed with a pistol on his hip and an assault rifle in his truck, intent on carrying out citizen's arrests of 24 federal, state, and local officials, and on seeing that another man did not face trial for trying to do the same.

And these people are freaking serious. Here are some comments from the Oathkeepers website referring to the New Hampshire baby case:

it is an outrageous crime against humanity and we all have to stand up against any of this – peacefully but firm!


I personally believe that Americas problems with government oppression began when black people were allowed to participate in the process. They have no respect or value for the law or the constitution and are the source of all of our problems.

It is quite apparent that this Country is under tyrannical rule. Yet, here we are day after day, letting the atrocities continue. ILLEGAL ORDERS ARE FOLLOWED EVERY SINGLE DAY AGAINST THE CITIZENRY! Yet nobody comes to their defense.. Many of you here, and you know who you are, are nothing but traitors and hypocrites. Not all of you, but a great majority.

Dear Oathkeepers,

Do not allow this to cause you to shrink from your righteous cause before humanity, there are things you can do to protect yourself.

1- Homebirth.
……there are more childbirth and mother accidents and deaths in the hospital slice and dice procedures that home birth….study it. There are some O.B.’s that work with midwives. Or you can get a licensed midwife who has credentials equal to an O.B. Husbands, and wives, you too can take courses in home birthing. Don’t give your families into the hands of the monsters.

2- Find an O.B. who supports the standing of the oathkeepers and notify all oathkeepers which family doctors can be trusted. Don’t give out information on your pregnancies/ due dates to extended friends or family.

3- If you have older children that are outraged at this rediculous persecution. You MUST give them a chance to speak to the herd out there. Give them a chance to go before the media and tell the herd that their parents are heroes. The media cannot demonize children.

4- Homeschool your kids. Homeschooling alone can make you a target but do it anyway. There are excellent online programs and you can take your children for academic testing to make sure they are ahead of the general public education system.

5- Prepare for an event like this by having some Oathkeepers get their homes preprepared to take in foster care of other oathkeeper children. Find relatives who support you as an oathkeeper and if a child is suddenly and deliberately being taken you can request to the state to have them removed immediately to your relatives home.

***You will find that the gov will do the same thing in the public schools. One day your child won’t come home from school and you will find they were picked up from your public school.

This is the mentality of the "Oathkeepers." And they are made up largely of active duty and retired military and law-enforcement personnel. In other words, guys who have guns and know how to use them. And now they have a cause and "martyr" to rally around. This is not going to end well.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Crazy Candidate of the Day - Joe Miller

Miller vows silence on questions about personal background

SCRUTINY: Candidate complains he's being mistreated by media.

Apparently, there's something in the meth up there in Alaska that makes political figures think that the media should only ask them the questions which they would like to be asked. It's sort of like a batter saying to the pitcher, "well, if you're going to throw sliders, I'm just not going to play. I told you to throw straight fastballs, chest high, and not too fast!"

Republican Senate nominee Joe Miller said Monday he will not answer any more questions about his personal background for the rest of the campaign.
"We've drawn a line in the sand. You can ask me about background, you can ask me about personal issues -- I'm not going to answer," Miller said.

Now, if by "personal issues" he meant, say, his love life, then sure, he would have a valid point. But of course, that's not what he means. It's more about stuff like this from The Alaska Dispatch:

U.S. Senate candidate Joe Miller confirmed Monday night that his wife -- once hired to work as a part-time clerk for the same Alaska court in which he was serving as a U.S. magistrate judge -- went on unemployment after she left the job. . .

. . . Miller critics have suggested Miller was forced to fire his wife, calling the couple's working relationship a form of nepotism prohibited by court policies at the time. . .

Miller is running on a self-described constitutional conservative platform, arguing that the nation must return to the principles and powers penned by the founding fathers to save it from bankruptcy. Putting an end to entitlements on a national level and empowering states has been a key message in his campaign.

Still, in recent weeks, Miller -- also an opponent to Social Security and Medicare -- has acknowledged utilizing federal programs, including subsidies, over the years. In the 1990s, he received more than $7,000 in federal farm subsidies for land he owned in Kansas, where he grew up. In 1999, he applied for and was granted a $77,400 state loan to buy 1,000 acres in Delta Junction under a program aimed at promoting the development of Alaska agriculture.

Miller and his campaign have fired back at critics who have called him a hypocrite, saying things like the farm subsidies were long ago and do not reflect on his positions today.

"If you suggest that anybody that has received federal payments is excluded from the dialogue on where we are at today as a federal government, then (that means) nobody can participate," Miller said in an Alaska Dispatch interview last month.

Um, I think I could. But whatever. No, I think what is being suggested is that it's kinda bullshit to suddenly develop an aversion to government money once you're no longer in a position to be receiving it.

So, questions like "how do you square your opposition to federal spending programs with the fact that you and your wife have both been the recipients of monies from these programs?" are apparently totally out of bounds to Miller.

Miller said he has been the victim of "journalistic impropriety."

Which is educated-wingnut for "gotcha journalism."

Miller asserted Monday that "members of the media have gained access to my confidential file, my personnel file from the Fairbanks North Star Borough. It is clear violation of law, the access to that file."

Miller did not offer evidence for his assertion that the media had gained access to his personnel file, or cite the law that had been broken.

Maybe Sarah can get the "department of laws" to look into it.

"We are calling upon all responsible members of the media to focus on the issues, the legitimate issues and not repeat basically the lies and innuendos, not repeat the clear violations of law, but to focus on the issues at hand. Now I'll admit, and I've said this before, I'm a man of flaws, there's no question about it. You know, I wasn't born with a silver spoon, I haven't been born wealthy," he said.

"Nor was I born with a knack for grammar," he did not add.

But, Okay, you want to look at the issues? Fine. Let's go to the "issues" section of your website:


Government Spending

I will work to limit Washington to the constitutional powers anticipated by our Founders.

Oh, good thinking. Let's limit the government to only those things whaich were anticipated by a bunch of slave-owners in powdered wigs occupying 13 tiny colonies clinging to the Atlantic seaboard whose very survival was dubious. Surely they could have anticipated the needs of a 21st Century Superpower.

A slave counts as 3/5 of a person? Doesn't that seem like an awful lot?*

Hey, here's an idea. Let's have the healthcare reform debate settled by a group of men who had doctors come to their homes for bloodlettings!

I support the repeal of ObamaCare. First and foremost, there is no Constitutional authority for it.

Oh my God! I was kidding!
I will support reform legislation that is market-based and incentivizes individual responsibility. One major aspect of this reform must include allowing and promoting a system of robust employer and/or self-funded tax-free health savings accounts.

There is no Constitutional authority for Federally mandated Healthcare reform! There is, however the "Health savings account" provision of Article III. That's totally in the Constitution! As my law-school professors used to say, "the Constitution will only allow the government to do the stuff that we want, not stuff the other guys want!"

I strongly oppose the unconstitutional Cap and Trade legislation. The science supporting manmade climate change is inconclusive.

No. It isn't. Just because you don't like the conclusion doesn't make the science bad. I'm not crazy about gravity, but that doesn't mean Newton was wrong.

Really, your "issues" page is pretty light on actual um, issues. Basically, you're against Healthcare reform, (although also for healthcare reform, just a different healthcare reform), against cap-and-trade, pro-life, pro-family, then you add this to sort of pad it out:

A Time for True Change

Ronald Reagan once said, “A government big enough to give you everything you want is big enough to take away everything you've got.” We have little time to restore constitutional limits on federal power. I will be a catalyst to move those in Congress to make the tough, principled decisions needed to bring Washington back to the limited role anticipated by our Founders. We must act now.

Wow, now that's what I call vague! "I will make those tough, principled decisions, you know, those unspecified decisions that I will make in a principled way. Oh, they will be tough, I'm sure, but they will definitely be decisions of some kind, and I will toughly make them. Oh, and also, Ronald Reagan!"

It seems odd that your website doesn't mention that you'd like to abolish the minimum wage, privatize Social Security and phase out Medicare. Seems like you had plenty of room. Room that you filled with, for instance this comical sentence:

Prior to the Democrats’ takeover of the Congress and the White House in 2008, the Republicans ushered in the largest expansion of federal spending since the hay days [sic] of Lyndon Johnson’s Great Society in the 1960s.

Yeah. I think you mean "heyday" Hay Days is a snowmobile festival in Minnesota. (really) And no matter what Sarah tells you, they are called "Snowmobiles" not "Snow Machines" Snow Machines are what ski resorts use to make artificial snow when there isn't enough actual snow. Not that any of that is relevant, but I'm just sick of that airhead acting like Alaska is the only place on the planet with fucking snow, so Alaskans get to decide what to call snow-related things. Fuck you, snowbilly! Words mean things. You don't get to change the definition of words just because you think it's cute.

*if you are the person from whom I stole this joke, leave me a note if you want me to take it down or credit you. Tell me where it was first published, so I know you're really him or her.