Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Thanks, Yahoo! News

Sometimes it takes a story like this to really bring home the tragedy:

TODAY - February 16, 2010

Scarlett Johansson (Mike Marsland/WireImage)

Johansson hit by housing slump

Scarlett Johansson lists her home for millions less than she paid for it, even before renovations.

Ah, Hell Yeah! It's About To Get All Crazy Up In This Shit!

Dammmmm, son! The GOP is down with the youth!

Don't believe me?

Check this shit out, brah!


Aw Yeah! My man B-Hume!

Yes, it's X-PAC! Because if you want to appeal to young voters, you gotta go X-TREME!

Quantcast Conservative Family Values, Bitchez!

When should you register? How about NOW, fool?

Your assignment, should you choose to accept it is to go to CPAC for the speeches, and *chill* at XPAC to recharge and boost for the next day. From the “Epic Nights at XPAC” to the late night comedy sessions XPAC has it all. Movies, Video Games, Wifi and Food. Nightly receptions with the biggest names in Conservative America, and you, the next Difference maker in training.

You wanna chill, don't ya? Yeah, you better, cuz it's gonna be EPIC!

Capital Gains Tax Cut!

XPAC is here!

If you love CPAC for the speeches and information,[and what kind of loser doesn't love spe-zeeches and informatizzle, you heard?] you’ll love the XPAC Lounge for the pop culture personalities, entertainment, music and laid back programming that brings a whole new experience to CPAC! Get your tickets today!

Pop culture personalities! Just check out this lineup, dawg!

View ImageThere's a nasty, foul-mouthed old lady!

http://www.itickets.com/parts/aimages/5842.jpgThere's a washed-up has-been actor. With emo hair!

http://patterico.com/files/2009/12/Giles-and-OKeefe.jpgThere's that kind of cute girl who dressed up as a hooker!

And hold on to your hats, your backwards-facing baseball caps, that is!
It's the HUME-Inator! http://www.speakersonhealthcare.com/images/speakerphotos/Brit_Hume_SOH_Photo.png

All the hip kids are down with Brit Hume!

Think we're done? Hell nah!

There's a weird, middle aged black guy!

http://d.yimg.com/a/p/ap/20100128/capt.d201c9a562cc4469970ac3edd7ba0bc5.republicans_hawaii_hiet103.jpgHe's black. That counts for something, right?

Deregulation, Yo!

http://www.freedomsphoenix.com/Uploads/Graphics/004-0226173926-napolitano-fff-thumb.jpgAnd Andrew Mutha-Fukkin Napolitano!

Huckabee's even bringing his daughter! http://img.timeinc.net/time/daily/2007/0712/sarah_huckabee_1211.jpg
Now that's youth-appealing!

“10 Questions with Stevie B. featuring: Sarah Huckabee”
Stevie B! That's Steven Baldwin to you squares!

Seriously, yo. It's gonna be RADICAL!

"I wouldn't be surprised if somebody of Joe-the-Plumber stature came in three times a day to come in and rally the kids," CPAC spokesman Ian Walters said.

Aw shit! It's on now!

11pm – XPAC “Late Night” – “Music Jam”
sponsored by Parcbench.com
LIVE MUSIC PLUS Special performances by:
Rappers: Hi-Caliber, Young Cons*, and many more!

Late Night? 11 PM? Dude, that's hella late!

Awesome! Seriously check it out: http://www.xpac2010.com/

But don't blame me if you wet your pants from laughing so hard.

Um, I mean from the super-extreme radical awesomeness!