Friday, September 28, 2012

Seems A Little Harsh

Play by spudboy67

Not ever?

Thursday, September 27, 2012

She Gets Paid to Write Things

The Washington Post, once one of our nation's most respected journalistic outlets, pays this hack real American moneys to write things. So, sure, life is totally fair.

Right Turn

Obama debate questions

Well, since there is no evidence to suggest that Iran is any closer to getting a nuclear bomb, I would have to say "no." I think maybe a better question would be "since the people who keep insisting that Iran is on the verge of acquiring nukes are the same hacks who insisted the same thing about Iraq, why should we give any of them any smidgen of credibility?"

After insisting on a settlement freeze and showing more daylight between the United States and Israel, there are no bilateral talks ongoing, and the Palestinian Authority has gone to the United Nations for a unilateral declaration. So isn’t your approach to the peace process a failure? And why is it you haven’t cut off U.S. aid to the Fatah-Hamas government?

Well, since the main obstacle to any serious bilateral talks would seem to be the hawkish Bibi Netanyahu, I would have to say that it is his policy that is the failure. And I guess my reason for insisting on a settlement freeze would mainly be that when one country builds homes inside the borders of another country, that's not all that conducive to peace ever breaking out. Just like if your neighbor built a garage in your front yard, you might have some difficulty getting a;long with him. And I haven't cut off aid to the Hamas government because I don't like the idea of people starving to death just because they elected a government that you don't approve of.
Also, why shouldn't theer be daylight between the US and Israel. This may come as a shock to you, but the US and Israel are two completely separate countries! And our interests don't really overlap all that much.

After Sept. 11, 2001, there were no terrorist attacks on the United States, but during your administration there have been the jihad-inspired Fort Hood massacre and the killing of four Americans in Libya, so isn’t your anti-terror record worse than Bush’s?

Okay, why do you think that the Bush administration gets a mulligan for 9/11? Also, after 9/11, there were the anthrax letters, the El-Al shooting at LAX, the shoe bomber. . . But how could anyone's anti-terror record be worse than George W. Bush's? He was president on 9/11. He ignored repeated warnings about al Queda, he neglected to have NORAD scramble fighters when the planes were hijacked, and when the towers were hit, he was busy reading "My Pet Goat."
The Fort Hood massacre claimed 13 lives, the Libya attacks killed 4. How is that worse than 2,977 killed on 9/11?
Why do the Bushies think they can just re-write history to suit their narrative?

Then there is domestic policy. Here, aides should be preparing Obama for these sorts of queries:

Why is the recovery under your presidency worse than any other recovery since WWII?

Maybe because Republicans in the Senate have blocked every piece of legislation that might have strengthened the recovery?

You had big majorities in the Congress for the first two years, yet you did not pursue immigration reform, entitlement reform or tax reform. Why?

Maybe because none of those things really need "reforming?" I mean, the tax code certainly needs reforming, just not in the way that you righties think it does. The tax code needs to be reformed so that, for instance, unearned income like stock dividends, capitol gains, etc. are taxed at at least the same rate as income earned by the sweat of one's brow. But maybe spending a lot of time and effort reforming those things might have taken away from the reforming of health care which absolutely did not go far enough (single-payer) but is making a big positive difference in a lot of lives.

The public, by significant majorities, doesn’t like your health-care reform, Congressional Budget Office updates show it does not adhere to your promise not to add “one dime” to the deficit, and the CBO also reports that some 6 million Americans, including those making well below $200,000, will be hit by the statute’s tax, so why shouldn’t the statute be changed or repealed?

Because all those thing that you just said are lies? The public doesn't think they like "Obamacare," but when asked about the actual provisions in the law, like no more denial of coverage for pre-existing conditions, or letting parents keep their kids on their plan for a few more years, people respond very favorably. The "Obamacare" that they don't like is the fake one with the death panels and the aparatchiks in the doctor's office that you righties have made up. They like the real one. And the only people who will be "hit by the tax" are people who could afford to buy health insurance but choose not to. And fuck those people.

In 2010 you agreed to extend the Bush tax cuts when the economy was growing more than it is now. If tax hikes are anti-stimulative, why not extend the cuts again?

Yes, why not make the same mistake again? Because history has shown that tax-hikes are absolutely not anti-stimulative. Oh, sure, they could be, if you jacked up taxes on working stiffs by a large amount so that they had significantly less money to spend, but that's not what we're talking about here. You need only look back as far as the Clinton administration to see an example of tax hikes that definitely did not impede economic growth. Remember? Remember how well the economy was doing back in the '90's? Remember the "new economy?"  Of course you do.

Any way, there's more to Rubin's bullshit post here, if you're interested. Suffice it to say that Jennifer Rubin provides a perfect example of the phenomenon  of conservatives absolutely refusing to have an honest argument. If they want to talk about terror, they pretend that 9/11 doesn't count. If they want to talk about tax rates, they pretend that the tax cuts grow the economy, even while they complain that even though Obama extended the Bush tax cuts, the economy isn't growing. They either don't feel the cognitive dissonance or they just choose to ignore it. But they will never ever ever argue honestly, because they know they can never win that way.

9 Awesome Ladies that Deserve Your Support

And you get cake!

(via Positive Press)
They call themselves “The 9 Nanas,” and have been secretly whipping up, and delivering hundreds of pound cakes during the middle of the night in a grand scheme to help those in need. And then before anyone can catch a glimpse of them, they quietly and quickly disappear back into their daily lives in West Tennessee.

Mary Ellen, one of the nine women, who are all aged between 54 and 72, told The Huffington Post: ‘We give new meaning to the term drive-by. “We drive through low-income neighborhoods and look for homes with fans in the window. That told us that the people who live there don’t have air-conditioning. Or we see that there are no lights on at night, which means there is a good chance their utilities have been turned off. Then we return before the sun came up, like cat burglars, and drop off a little care package.”

The women started eavesdropping at the local beauty shop or when they were picking up groceries, and when they heard about a widow or a single mother who needed some help, they would anonymously pay a utility bill or buy new clothes for the children. The Nanas would find out where the person lived and send a package with a note that simply read, ‘Somebody loves you,’ which would always include one of MaMaw Ruth’s special pound cakes.

For three decades, the ladies’ good deeds went undetected.


Now selling over 100 of MaMaw Ruth’s pound cakes daily online at Happiness Happens, The 9 Nanas can take on bigger projects.
Recently they donated more than $5,000 worth of pillows, linens and personal care products to the YWCA shelter for survivors of domestic violence. This August, they will celebrate their second ‘Happiness Happens Month’ by sending a cake to one person in every state who has made a difference in their own community. Sometimes, they also pull out the phone book to send pound cakes to complete strangers. 

Okay, now here comes the part where you get to contribute AND you get cake. Simply go to and order a cake, or several cakes, for yourself or for anyone you know who could use a little cheering up. The money will go to a damn good cause and you will get cake! And your friends will get cake. CAKE!

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Okay, Who's Paying for This?

Because there's no way Pam Geller has enough money for this, right? Please, God?

These horrible, blatantly racist ads have been put up in NYC subway stations by Pam Geller and some bullshit organization she runs. They had to sue the NY transit authority to make them put up these ads. But that's got to be some pretty expensive ad-space. I hate to think that this nut is making enough money from her retarded website and frequent appearances on FOX to be able to afford this ad buy.

**Sigh**  God Damn it, CNN!

This woman's entire Raison d'etre is that she hates Muslims and Arabs and Arab Muslims. 


How much money can you really make from a website that just every day posts "Damn Muslims, they're horrible!" every day? And how much can she be getting paid to show up on FOX every now and again?

Oh, God Damn It! Was it at least Morning Joe?

Is that why I'm not making any money on this blog? Because I don't call Muslims "animals" and "savages?"  I'm certainly willing to cal Pam Geller an animal. Not a nice animal like a baby deer or a puppy or something, maybe a loathsome serpent, or a crocodile or something? A Naked mole rat? 


Yeah, that seems about right. Pamela Geller is the Naked Mole Rat  of political commentators. 

Oh, God, now I'm going to get traffic from the kind of people who do Google searches for "Pam Geller + Naked."

Pathetic line of the Day

From a CNN Documentary entitled "Romney Revealed"

In 1968, France was a dangerous place to be for a 21yo American but Romney was right in the middle of it
France. In 1968. France was a dangerous place for a 21-year-old American boy? You know, if France was too dangerous for him, he could maybe have tried some other country like, Oh, I don't know, Vietnam?

It's not like anyone was forcing poor old Mitt to be in France, he was there because he was classifying himself as a missionary to avoid going to Vietnam. But I'm sure he must have had serious moral objections to serving in the war, probably. 

Oh, right!

So what was so horrible about France in the 1960's?

. . . a time that Romney once described as “tough” because the French were “not happy to see Americans, because we were in Vietnam at the time.”

Yeah, I got news for ya, Mittens, no one in any country is ever happy to see Mormons knocking at their door.

Oh, God, here they come. Quiet everyone, kill the lights! 
 . . . all those dying Americans were causing protests in France, and as a result, says Romney's fellow missionary Mike Bush, “There was no train service, there were no buses, no newspapers. The electricity would go off from time-to-time.”

Oh. That must have been rough!

“There were no letters from home,” Bush continues. “The money at the time came via check. That was our lifeline was getting letters from home.”

Seriously? You're telling me that George Romney, head of American Motors and governor of Michigan didn't know how to wire money to France?  I'm sure Mitt could've taught him how to wire it to Switzerland. Or the Caymans. Or Bermuda.

Damn, CNN! You're really airing this nonsense? You do know that how ever far you bend over backwards to accommodate the right, they are never going to be your friends, right? Even if you go to these pathetic lengths, portraying a man who supported the war as long as someone else was fighting it as somehow heroic because there were protests and marches in France? You know where else there were protests and marches in 1968? EVERYWHERE! Certainly all over the US. This is what 1968 looked like in Chicago:

The 1968 Chicago Democratic National Convention

In San Francisco:

In Detroit:

Well, you get the idea.

From now on, CNN, you need to run everything past Soledad O"Brien before airing it, okay?

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

How to Almost feel Sorry for Mitt Romney

Watch this video of ol' Mitt trying to cajole a crowd into chanting his name:

Also, is it my imagination, or did he just refer to Paul Ryan as "it?"

I'm pretty sure he said "that's quite a guy, isn't it?, Paul Ryan!"

Monday, September 24, 2012

What the Fuck, Texas?

Texas School Wants to Make it Easier To Spank

Officials at a Texas high school plan to ask their board tonight to change a policy requiring that spanking punishments be administered only by employees of the same gender as the student to receive the punishment. That proposed request comes on the heels of outcry after a male vice principal in the district administered legal spanking punishments to female students.

So, let me see if I have this straight. A man paddles a couple of high school girls. There is understandable outrage. And your reaction to the outrage is to change the rules to make this okay? 


"The Texas Education Code and our local policies state that if a parent or guardian does not want corporal punishment administered to his/her child, for each school year the parent or guardian must provide the district a separate written and signed statement to that effect. Otherwise, the use of corporal punishment is permissible," Mike Kelley, superintendent for the Springtown Independent School District said in a statement.

So, unless the parents specifically demand otherwise, you think that it's perfectly okay for school officials to beat children with a wooden paddle?

Yeah, you must be proud of yourself and your ability to hit a kid with a club.

Her mother, Anna Jorgensen, agreed to the punishment as long as her daughter was OK with it, but was surprised the spanking was administered by a man, she told local ABC affiliate WFAA.
As far as Jorgensen knew, she said, school policy mandated that males spank males and females spank females.
She said her daughter's buttocks were red and appeared blistered due to the force of the spanking.
How is this acceptable? What kind of lesson do you think that girl is going to learn from this? That the people who supposedly care about your well-being can be expected to blister your butt now and again if you displease them?

Seems like the perfect approach, assuming you want these girls to grow up like this:

The day after her daughter's paddling, Jorgensen called the vice principal to complain, but was told it was "normal for her bottom to look like this after receiving swats." 
You know, it's normal to look bruised and bloody after a car wreck, too, but that doesn't mean that car wrecks aren't horrible things which should be avoided at all cost.
 Another student, Jada Watt, said she mouthed off to the same male vice principal, and received the same punishment, which was observed by a male police officer.

A police officer? The cops in this town have nothing more important to do than watch teenage girls getting paddled?

Her mother, Cathi, said she "wasn't expecting a bruise."
"A swat is a swat, yes it is and they do sting. But to bruise a child? If I had done that, they would have called CPS on me," Cathi Watt told WFAA, referring to Child Protection Services.
"Two men giving her a swat behind closed doors, that is creepy," she added.

That is extremely creepy. Underage-S&M-porn creepy. 
So what is the school district's response to this potential sexual abuse-prone situation?

Springtown ISD Superintendent Mike Kelley told WFAA that he will ask the board to eliminate the requirement of same gender spanking.
He said the same-sex spanking policy can be difficult to observe in smaller schools where aren't enough female administrators around to mete out punishment to female students.

Oh, well, if the requirement is making it inconvenient for you to blister the buttocks of the children left in your charge, then by all means!

 Watt and Jorgensen object to any policy change. They don't believe men should hit women under any circumstances.

Great. How about adults shouldn't hit kids of any gender? 

Thursday, September 20, 2012

Crazy Redneck is Crazy

So this showed up at the home of some nutbag in Austin, TX:

And in light of the empty chair/Clint Eastwood thing, some people suspected that maybe this might be the homeowner's retarded way of hanging the president in effigy. So a reporter from Burnt Orange Report called the guy up and asked him about it.

 I called the homeowner to ask about his display, citing my concerns as a fellow Austinite. He replied, and I quote, "I don't really give a damn whether it disturbs you or not. You can take [your concerns] and go straight to hell and take Obama with you. I don't give a shit. If you don't like it, don't come down my street."

Sure, that's just about the type of reasoned, rational response I would expect from a person who would lynch a folding chair.

I wouldn't be surprised if this really had nothing to do with President Obama. This guy could actually be pissed off at chairs.

Thet thar sumbitchin' chair had no right to talk to Mr. Eastwood thet way!  Tellin' him to go do stuff to hisself, thet ain't right! Goddamm smartass chairs, always talkin' 'bout shit what they don't know about. Thet goldurn chair was the worst character on Pee Wee's Playhouse, I tell ya wut! Chairy! Chairy my ass, more like Fairy if'n ya ask me. Any o' them smartass chairs start sassin' me, I'll fuckin shoot hiz ass!

Oh, and now the homeowner has fixed the problem with the display. He has added a miniature American flag to the chair.

oh say can you see

Which really just clarifies nothing. Is he lynching America? Is it only American-made chairs he's mad at? Who knows.

Wonkette adds this interesting little tidbit to the story. Apparently, in 2010, the homeowner was awarded "Yard of the Month" by the neighborhood homeowners association:
 It was August 2010, at the head of Teatard Mania, so he hung a man made of teabags with a “watermelon flavor” sign around the neck and, in case you didn’t get it, a small sign underneath that said “The Slow Drip of Liberty” and then next to it, “For Whites.” SUBTLETY.

Now I'm really confused. If the homeowner is a teabagger, why would he hang a man made of teabags? Wouldn't that represent him and his fellow knuckle draggers? And if the teabag man is the villain, why does liberty drip from him? I'm starting to think this guy might not be all there.

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Weird Headline of the Day

(via Yahoo!News)

Will Humans Eventually All Look Like Brazilians?

I did not doctor that. The headline totally reads: Will Humans Eventually All Look Like Brazilians?

I, for one, am looking forward to my new look!

The article starts off with a weird, creepy story  that is decidedly not Brazilian:

It really happened: Six generations of inbreeding spanning the years 1800 to 1960 caused an isolated population of humans living in the hills of Kentucky to become blue-skinned.

Apparently, this is a real thing, because I found this picture on Google images:


Hahahaha, just kidding. I found this one:


Yes, the blue-skinned product of 100 years of incest has a girlfriend.
 In Kentucky, he's considered a "catch!"

 Dennis Stacy, whose great-great-grandfather on both his mother's and father's sides was the same person — Henley Fugate — offered a simple explanation for the rampant interbreeding: In the old days in eastern Kentucky, Stacy said, "There was no roads."

Yeah, I don't care how many roads there weren't, I'd hike through every holler in Kentucky in my bare feet before I'd marry my fuckin' aunt!
Seriously, at least one guy married his aunt:

The hematologists' attempt to trace the history of the mutant gene revealed a gnarly Fugate family tree, contorted by many an intermarriage between first cousins, aunts and nephews, and the like over the generations.



According to Stephen Stearns, a Yale professor of ecology and evolutionary biology, before the invention of the bicycle, the average distance between the birthplaces of spouses in England was 1 mile (1.6 kilometers).

Bicycles? Before bicycles? It seems to me that the pre-bicycle world had a pretty decent method of transportation that would take a young, single fella to where non-related women lived.


So, anyway, what does this have to do with us all turning Brazilian?

Stearns says globalization, immigration, cultural diffusion and the ease of modern travel will gradually homogenize the human population, averaging out more and more people's traits. Because recessive traits depend on two copies of the same gene pairing up in order to get expressed, these traits will express themselves more rarely, and dominant traits will become the norm. In short, blue skin is out. Brown skin is in.

Except that most people tend to pair up with someone of the same race. No matter how much immigration and globalization there is, no one is requiring people to intermarry. 

Already in the United States, another recessive trait, blue eyes, has grown far less common. A 2002 study by the epidemiologists Mark Grant and Diane Lauderdale found that only 1 in 6 non-Hispanic white Americans has blue eyes, down from more than half of the U.S. white population being blue-eyed just 100 years ago.

And so the logical next step is. . . Brazilians!

Although, based on this scientific sample, no two Brazilians even look like the same ethnicity. 
I see at least 5 different skin colors in this picture of Ipanema.

A population forged from the long-term mixing of Africans, Native Americans and Europeans serves as an archetype for the future of humanity, Stearns said: A few centuries from now, we're all going to look like Brazilians.

Except them.

Well, I think it's great. Maybe we'll finally be able to win a World Cup!

U-S-A!  U-S-A!

Happy Birthday, David Bromberg

Musician David Bromberg turns 69 years old today. An amazing guitarist and underrated vocalist. I don't remember how I initially stumbled on to his records, but I do remember seeing him about 20 years ago at the Great American Music Hall in San Francisco, and he did one of the best shows I've ever seen. Anyway, if you're not already familiar with Mr. Bromberg, you're welcome!

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Soledad O'Brien Destroys another Idiot

This time, it's Rep. Peter King (R-)

Does every Congressman have a sash?
I have never seen a Congressional sash before.
Was he Miss New York?

He came on O'Brien's show and trotted out the tired old "apology tour" line. Soledad O'Brien was having none of it!

Me? Oh, nothing. Just sitting here being awesome!

KING: President Obama's policies in summer of 2009, he took his apology, I believe have not helped the United States. They have weakened our position in the Middle East. They have provided -- sent a very mixed message, a confusing message. Combine that with the way he treats Netanyahu and Israel, and the pulling troops out of Iraq without getting status of forces agreement, the apologies. . .

O'BRIEN: But you've been talking about an apology tour. . . Where do you see an apology? You called it an apology tour. You said the apologies. What apologies are you specifically talking about?

KING: I would say when he was in Cairo in 2009, when he was basically apologizing for American policies, saying American policies sometimes have gone too far --

O'BRIEN: Never once in that speech, as you know, which I have the speech right here. That was -- he never once used the word apology. He never once said I'm sorry. 


Okay, now Pete King is not going to let facts get in the way of a good narrative!

KING: Didn't have to. The logical -- any logical reading of that speech or the speech he gave in France where he basically said that the United States can be too aggressive --

O'BRIEN: That was on April 3rd in 2009. Right. But that's not apology. People --

KING: It is. I do consider it -- we're apologizing for -- we have nothing to apologize to the Muslim world at all. We have not sacrificed our ideals. 

True, if our ideals include torture, indefinite detention, illegal wars of aggression, secret prisons. . .

O'BRIEN: Everybody keeps talking about this apology tour and apologies from the president.

KING: It is.

O'BRIEN: I'm trying to find the words I'm sorry, I apologize in any of those speeches. Which I have the text of all those speeches in front of me. None of those speeches at all, if you go to which we check in a lot, they all say the same thing. They fact check this.

KING: I don't care what fact check says. 

Goddammit, I want this to be true! I don't care what the facts are!

O'BRIEN: There are fact checks. You may not care, but they're a fact checker. I'm reading the speeches.

KING: No. Soledad, what I'm saying is any common sense interpretation of those speeches, the president's apologizing for the American position. That's the apology tour.

There's a certain special way that these Republican men have of saying her name. It's so condescending, so smug. It's like "now, Soledad, you should know better than to argue with the grownups." It's really sickening.

That's the way it's interpreted in the Middle East. If I go over and say that the U.S. has violated its principles, that the United States has not shown respect for Islam, that's an apology. How else can it be interpreted?

O'BRIEN: I think plenty of people are interpreting it as a nuanced approach to diplomacy is how some people are interpreting it.

Feel the burn, King!


King is pretty pathetic. I think someone told him to use the catch-phrase "apology tour," and he's bright enough to remember that and repeat it, but no one told him that he might have to back it up. "don't worry, Congressman, no one will ask you to explain what you mean, Oh, crap! He's going on the O'Brien show?"

Winner and still Champion!

The Balls on this guy!

Submitted without comment, except to say , stolen from Wonkette:
Oh, and he's referring to the Romney "47%" video:

Sorry you couldn't go to the convention because of your parole

What did Bill Clinton say? It takes a lot of brass!

Monday, September 17, 2012

Everyone loves a Fake Terrorist

Apparently, one of the more popular speakers at the Value Voters Summit was a con artist who peddles a story about having been a jihadi terrorist prior to converting to Christianity and so pleas pay me huge speaking fees and buy my book.

He goes by the name of Kamal Saleem, which is not his real name because if his former employers in the Muslim Brotherhood or Al Queda or whoever found out who he really is, his life would be in danger which is why he makes public appearances talking about his past life and, according to MoJo, His real name, Khodor Shami, is readily available in media reports and on the 990 forms of the nonprofit he publicizes at every opportunity.

So who would fall for such an obvious phony?

Oh, right!

 If you're looking for a good laugh, read the whole interview over at Mother Jones. Here's a little taste:

 "I was wondering," I asked, "which law enforcement agencies and intelligence agencies you've worked with?

"The majority of them," he said. "It was in Homeland. There were a whole batch of them."

Any specifically?

"Whole batch of them. All of them. Homeland."

That's a lot of agencies.

"Yes, it was a panel."

Curious, I asked where and when the panel had been held.

"I can't tell you that," Saleem said.

Oh, you know, all of them! Where have we heard that before?

So what kind of gibberish is Kamal peddling? Some crazy conspiracy theory about Barack Obama handing over America to some Islamic organization that will shut down all the churches and synagogues and, you know, the usual.

SALEEM: And when we surrender to them authority, and we apologize to everybody over there, in Islam that is a victory, and that is the start of the march now somewhere to take over the land, take over your country and fulfill your purpose and become united Islamic nations!

Because once you apologize to someone, there's just no way to stop him from taking over your land. He basically owns your ass. I apologized to my neighbor recently about the state of my lawn, now he keeps his dog in the master bath. His mother-in-law is moving into our garage next week!

 And, yes, I know, the "apology" thing is a bunch of bullshit. I know.

This is what happened. Egypt is the capital of the OIC -- the OIC meeting here in America with Hillary and her staff! You are about to introduce U.N. Resolution 1618, the hate crime bill, which will subjugate American people to be arrested and put to jail, and the churches and synagogues shut down and go underground. And if they still go they will be put in jail and be fined big time. Which will break the First Amendment and Second Amendment. 

Yeah, the Second Amendment isn't the right to bear Torahs. How would banning churches and synagogues violate the gun amendment?
Also, UN Resolution 1618 calls for protecting religious freedom. What kind of lunatics would possibly think that it could somehow be implemented in such a way as to close down churches and synagogues?

Oh, right!

This is about to be put as early as January. As early maybe as March, at most. Right now, it is on the table to be put together. We got something to fight for, and that fight is for our children, for our grandchildren, for our liberty! For our freedom! For the future! For the nations!

This was said at the same conference, by the way, that Paul Ryan addressed. And the same conference to which Mitt Romney sent a video greeting. These people are no longer the fringe. This is the new mainstream of the Republican Party.

Sunday, September 16, 2012

Quote of the Summit So Far

Rick Santorum bemoaning the fact that their message doesn't appeal to "smart people."

(You don't say!)

Santorum: 'We Will Never Have the Elite, Smart People on Our Side'

You'd think that if you realize that no smart people agree with you, that maybe that indicates that you're wrong, but no. No, Rick will never realize that.

Friday, September 14, 2012

It's the most wonderful time of the year!

It's time once again for the Value Voters' Summit!

The occasion when all of the nation's most horrible wingnuts gather together to, um, do whatever it is that they do, I don't know, other than providing fodder for smart-alecky bloggers. And there's always a chance, with them all gathered in one place, that they will all be summoned up to the mother ship, or Raptured, or something.


Anyway, so the first bit of information I've seen coming out of the Summit concerns an organization called "Modesty Matters," who have decided that with all the various ills troubling society at this moment, they are going to focus on the scourge of cleavage.

They have been handing out literature at the Value Voters Summit stressing the importance of non-revealing clothing.
According to MoJo, Modesty Matters is 
A "back porch thing" run by Woolwine and his wife, Modesty Matters is a somewhat quixotic effort to "move the media back to modesty," which Woolwine believes could be a compelling nonpolitical issue that people on all sides could agree on.

Folks on different sides of the political divide may not agree on much, but they can all join together to condemn shameless hussies!

Woolwine is also distributing a "Resolution for Women," which asks women to make a number of pledges, including "I will champion God’s model for womanhood in the face of a post-feminist culture."

God's model for womanhood, hm? Interesting. Because the one He made was stark bare-assed naked. 

And it's only going to get better. Just look at some of these scheduled speakers:

 Rep. Michele Bachmann
U.S. House (R-Minn)
Speaking to the 1% of the population who believe that Michele Bachmann is fit to hold public office

Gen. William Boykin
(U.S. Army-Ret.), Former Commander, Delta Force.
The man who thinks he's fighting for God's army against the army of Allah, and so far it's taken God about 10 years and He still hasn't won, so maybe just shut up about the whole clash of the gods thing, General?

Gov. Jan Brewer, the person Arizona uses to make Joe Arpaio seem reasonable.
Frank Gaffney
President, American Center for Security Policy
and current record-holder for "Person most scared of Muslims"

Gov. Mike Huckabee
TV Host.
Along with a picture of Mike Huckabee from 10 years and 50 lbs ago.

Majority Leader Eric Cantor
U.S. House (R-VA)
The reigning "pretending these people don't hate Jews" champion.

Lila Rose
President, Live Action.
Winner 2012's "organization whose name sounds most like an internet porn site" and "Value Voters Summit participant whose name sounds most like a porn star.

Tom McClusky
Senior Vice-President, FRC Action
and professional George Costanza impersonator. 

Steven Crowder
Fox News contributor, writer, & comedian.
Isn't that redundant?

Genevieve Wood
Vice President, Marketing, The Heritage Foundation.
Why would a non-profit need a VP of marketing? Also, runner-up Value Voters Summit participant whose name sounds most like a porn star.

Dr. Rick Scarborough
Founder, Vision America.
Recently named Right Wing America's Second-favorite Scarborough.

Melissa Ohden
Saline Abortion Survivor.
Really? Is that even a thing? That's not just some cruel joke? Okay.

Gov. Bob McDonnell
Accompanied by the Transvaginal Ultra-Sounds!
If there's not a band with that name yet, there should be.

Star Parker
Author and President of CURE.
And a black lady! Neat!

Kirk Cameron
Actor and Producer.
And banana enthusiast. Seriously, ask him about bananas!

BTW, almost everything he says about the banana is also true about the human penis. Food for thought, Kirk!