Thursday, March 12, 2015

People Who Will Never be President

Lindsey Graham

Sen. Lindsey Graham, testing presidential waters, to make first trip to Iowa

Test the waters all you want, sir. You will never ever be President.

First of all, this guy. . .

. . .  is not going to get the nomination of a party that thinks Uganda has some good ideas.

And the Tea Party base just haaaaates him. Maybe because they remember when he used to be a teensy bit reasonable?

Seriously, there's a Facebook page called "Conservatives against Lindsey Graham that features shit like this:

You will see irrefutable evidence that places Lindsey Graham in rare company as one of history’s most...

 And it's not like they don't have a point. I mean, clearly Graham is both ultra-liberal and a huge Nazi who supports Barack Obama.

Plus there's just the general weirdness:

Lindsey Graham: I've never sent an email

I don't know which would be weirder, if he actually has lived this many years without ever having sent an e-mail, or if he thinks this is something about which he needs to lie. Either way, weird!

But for some reason, someone asked the man who got a whopping zero point one percent in the CPAC straw poll what he would do first if he was elected President.

And here's the first thing I would do if I were president of the United States. I wouldn't let Congress leave town until we fix this. I would literally use the military to keep them in if I had to. We're not leaving town until we restore these defense cuts. We are not leaving town until we restore the intel cuts.

Oh my Gawd! Your first act as President would be to stage a military coup?

You would bring the military into Washington DC, in clear violation of the Posse Comitatus Act, to force Congress to vote the way you want them to? You would hold Congress at gunpoint until they restored whatever cuts you think were made to the military and intelligence budgets?
The US military would be holding the United States Congress hostage until they agreed to fork over more money to the military?
That's what you would do as President?

Man, oh man, it is a good thing that you will never ever ever be president!