Remember back in the early days of President Cartman's administration (like what, 10,15 years ago?) when he put out that video of the cabinet meeting where they all went around the table taking turns telling President McCheese how honored they were to be working for him?
And I figured "well, they know he's a fragile narcissist and that flattering him is a sure path to job security and if they don't kiss his ass they'll probably get fired, so I assume none of this is actually sincere." Oh, sweet, naive younger me!
Well, it turns out I was wrong, because the letter we are about to explore comes from Scott Pruitt, a man who is resigning and therefore has no professional need to stay in Cheeto Mussolini's good graces. I mean, he can't go around telling the truth about Il Douche because that would cut into his wingnut welfare opportunities, but he's got no need to suck up to Orange Julius Caesar.
And yet. . .
Okay, first of all - you weren't serving Donald tRump. I mean, you weren't really serving anyone except the extraction industries and big corporate polluters, but you were SUPPOSED to be serving the American people.
Truly, your confidence in me has blessed me personally
Okay, that's the first use of the word "blessed." (we'll be counting how many times some form of the verb "to bless" is used.) In most religious traditions, blessings come from God. Not from a bloated orange narcissist. So if you're telling someone that they have "blessed" you, that's getting into cult territory.
Truly, your confidence in me has blessed me personally and enabled me to advance your agenda beyond what anyone anticipated at the beginning of your Administration. Your courage, steadfastness and resolute commitment to get results for the American people, both with regard to improved environmental outcomes as well as historical regulatory reform, is in fact occurring at an unprecedented pace and I thank you for the opportunity to serve you and the American people in helping achieve those ends.
Again you were not serving him. You were supposed to be serving us. But thanks for adding us on as an afterthought there at the end.
That is why it is hard for me to advise you I am stepping down as Administrator of the EPA effective as of July 6. It is extremely difficult for me to cease serving you in this role first because I count it a blessing to be serving you in any capacity,
Jeezus! He counts it as a "blessing" (2nd use) to serve this man "in any capacity?" Waylon Smithers doesn't kiss Mr Burns ass this grotesquely.
but also, because of the transformative work that is occurring. However, the unrelenting attacks on me personally, my family, are unprecedented and have taken a sizable toll on all of us.
And there's the obligatory conservative crybaby victim-card-playing.
My desire in service to you has always been to bless you as you make important decisions for the American people.
There's that word again.
I believe you are serving as President today because of God’s providence.
Hmm, you're saying the one in charge is God's chosen one? Yeah, that's not culty at all.
I believe that same providence brought me into your service. I pray as I have served you that I have blessed you and enabled you to effectively lead the American people.
Stop blessing each other! You're not God and neither is he! And neither of you are blessing anything, you're both a scourge on humanity. If God's providence (and by the way, the word providence means:
And that's 4 "blessings" in a three paragraph resignation letter.
So that's a cult, right? People believe that their leader is sent by God to bless them and they are honored just to be allowed to serve the leader? How is that not a cult?