Monday, January 3, 2011

Attention Citizens Of Earth!

The following practices are to cease immediately:


It's been what, 25 years since the New York Giants started dousing their coach with Gatorade to celebrate a win. Since then it's become the worst kind of cliche'. Even my high school team did it once. ONCE.  It's been done to death, you need to come up with something new. When you're the millionth person to do something, it's just not clever anymore.


We get it. His name is "Focker." It sounds kinda like "Fucker." We get it. It's just not funny. It wasn't funny the first time, what the hell makes you think it's going to be funny the hundredth time?

3:  The use of the pseudo-word "Ginormous" Unless you are a re-run of Elf with Will Ferrel, there is no excuse to use this moronic "word." The word "enormous" will do just fine.


Nobody cares how many kids you have or what activities they enjoy. Okay, your friends and relatives might, but they already know. The guy behind you at the stop sign doesn't. What is the purpose of this?  And then there are the people who put the kids' names along with the stick figures.

Now that is something that some people may be interested in. Mainly guys like this:

 If you wish to maintain your standing in the community of planets you will cease these activities immediately. That is all.