Monday, August 22, 2016

Comforting News

For anyone who was afraid that a President Trump wouldn't surround himself with qualified, serious advisors, worry no more!

Michele Bachmann: I'm advising Trump on foreign policy

Oh, what a relief! I was afraid he'd go with someone monstrously unqualified!

Tea Party firebrand Michele Bachmann says she is advising Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump on foreign policy. 
The former Minnesota congresswoman attended a fundraiser in the state for Trump on Saturday, where she revealed to the press that she has his ear on foreign policy. “He also recognizes there is a threat around the world, not just here in Minnesota, of radical Islam,” she said, according to MPR News.

Oh my God, really? Because all this time I was thinking it was just Minnesota! Are there really other places in the world where Islamic radicals might be a problem?  I mean, you should really be advising both candidates with that kind of inside knowledge!

God, imagine being "advised" on foreign policy by this nut!

The person whose approach to diplomatic relations with the state of Israel is based on fear of being cursed.

Who wouldn't want to be advised by a woman so astute that she thinks this guy is heterosexual?

I imagine a lot of conversations like:

"Mr. President, there's a situation brewing in the Middle East!"

"What is it,  Secretary Bachmann? And don't say the Anti-Christ!"

"Oh. Um, never mind Mr. President."

Could you imagine? You're the President of the United States, you call in your foreign policy advisor to ask about rumors you're hearing about a possible new terrorist threat and you get something like:

"Now think carefully, Mr. President. Did this beast have seven heads or ten? And were there crowns upon each of his heads when he rose from the sea?"

'cuz if it's this guy, we're fucked!