Thursday, September 15, 2011

Bad Ads -- Consumer Cellular

What were they thinking?

First of all, they lead off with "The McCann Twins for Consumer Cellular," as if we're supposed to know who they are. (or who he is, I suspect both parts are played by the same master thespian)
As if they were the Yin-Yang Twins or the del Rubio Triplets, or the Dion Quintuplets. It doesn't make any sense since no one knows who they are, I don't think they're even real people.
They sure don't seem like real people. Could they have found a creepier actor(s)? If you saw one of these guys walking toward you, you'd cross the street. Then you'd pull out your smart phone and look him up on Megan's List.

Then there's the actual ad. An ad apparently designed by your great aunt Tillie, because it assumes that most people watching are completely overwhelmed by the complex intricacies of the cellular telephone.  And the ad seems not to realize that no one has made the "hey, guess where I'm calling from? Out on the Street!" call since about 1993.
Oh, they're complicated, oh they're expensive, oh the long-term contracts! Um, no. Have you been to Target lately? You can buy a phone for like thirty bucks and pay for. . . well why am I telling you? You're not a creepy white-haired freak with a rigor-mortis grimace where your smile should be. Of course, you're also not the sort of person who accepts "hey, ugly" as a substitute for witty banter either, so you're probably not in their target market.

Who Sarah Palin Boinks Is None of our Business.

Report: Palin, hoops star had 1-night tryst in 1987

MIAMI — A new book about “tea party” darling Sarah Palin has a salacious revelation about her sex life involving a well-known Miami sports star. 

 There are plenty of aspects of Sarah Palin's existence that can be criticized, mocked, or condemned. But who she may or may not have had sex with is not one of them. Even a person as awful as Sarah Palin is entitled to a private life. Whether or not she slept with a basketball player has nothing to do with any of the things that make her just awful. It's not relevant if she was a blushing virgin bride or whether she bedded the entire NBA.  Neither scenario makes her any more or less of an intellectually lazy, dimwitted, theocratic grifting quitter. No matter how many of her grandkids were conceived out of wedlock (two so far!) she is still the same amount of terrible.  There is no number of men she might have fucked that would make her any less monstrously unqualified to hold public office, or any more likely to ever hold one again. So let's not even discuss this.