Friday, September 25, 2009

Whack A Wingnut

Copied From Zaius Nation

This SOB Stole My Joke.

Look at this!

Look Familiar?
If you've been following the Daily Irritant (and why would you? Seriously, don't you have better things to do with your time? I don't, but come on.) it should look familiar

(Click Here)

I don't know who this cartoonist guy is, but i swear to God if I ever catch the son of a bitch, I will give him the frowning of a lifetime! Do you know how long it takes to create a visual joke like that when you can't draw for shit? I had to download pictures, upload them to, type the words, then upload them back to Blogger. Oy. If I had known, I could have just waited for this comic strip to come out and stolen it.

Only At "Renew America!"

Click to enlarge

Lisa Fabrizio

Lisa Fabrizio took the time to write a column stating basically, "I'm not a racist, I hate the homos way more than the ethnics!"
Only at "Renew America" would this be considered a legitimate defense.

Here's what she had to say for herself:

Last week, former president Jimmy Carter, sounding much like a man desperate to reclaim his relevance in a world that's passed him by, told NBC News: "I think an overwhelming portion of the intensely demonstrated animosity toward President Barack Obama is based on the fact that he is a black man, that he's African-American."

Ok, good. You made it through the first sentence without saying anything stupid, offensive or demonstrably untrue. Keep going!

Now, putting aside the fact that he, a very white man, was on the receiving end of much intensely demonstrated animosity during his days in office, since when, you ask, is Jimmy Carter an expert on U.S. racial relations?

The fact that a lot of jerks hated him should be set aside as irrelevant. But not before being prominently mentioned!

And by the way, I'll wager Jimmy Carter has forgotten more about U.S. racial relations than your dumb ass will ever know.

But cut him some slack. After all, he did unite the country in a way not seen in decades; after only four years, almost all of America joined together in sending him on his failed quest to become our greatest ex-president.

Yes, almost all of America. If by almost all, you mean 50.75% of the popular vote. OK, technically, 59% voted for candidates other than Jimmy Carter. 50.75% went to Reagan, 6.61% went to John Anderson, 41% went to Jimmy Carter, with the remainder going to various fringe candidates. (SOURCE) So, yeah almost 6 out of 10 Americans who showed up to vote (and turnout was under 60%) voted against Carter. If my math is right, (and that's always possible) that adds up to a whopping 35% of the American voting-eligible public who joined together to send Jimmy Carter packing. So, um, yeah. . . good point.

But are Carter and those of his ilk correct? Are conservatives bigoted louts or are they truly colorblind? In a way liberals are right; about this conservative anyway. Colors and the noxious movements they often represent do affect me in many ways, most of them bad. And maybe I'm not alone in detesting these oft beribboned symbols of latent hippydom which hurt my brain as well as my eyes

You know, I never saw the point of putting ribbons on one's car, but now, I think I'm going to cover my car, and everyone else's I can find, in ribbons, ribbons ribbons!!! Just to hurt Lisa Fabrizio's so-called "brain!"

Among those hues that particularly rankle are:

Purple, pink or whatever this week's badge of homosexual self-esteem might be.

And there it is. People different from me have no Goddamn right to have self esteem!

Is there anything worse than not only having to witness attempts at the perverse gay and lesbian assembly to subvert our culture to theirs, but then to have these forays labeled as examples of 'gay pride'?

Yes, having to listen to homophobic cretins like you, for one. Also listening to you try to use big words. The word "subvert" means to undermine or overthrow. You can not subvert TO anything. One could subvert our culture, theoretically, but not TO another culture. It's just grammatically impossible.I think maybe you mean "subjugate"? At any rate, it's just pathetic that nincompoops like you have this irrational fear that "the gays!" are going to somehow take over and, what, force breeders to learn showtunes and decorate tastefully?

As if the embrace of rampant, unbridled and unnatural sex is good for our nation; so good in fact, that it must be taught to our children as an acceptable and even desirable 'alternative lifestyle.'

I don't know what's more pathetic, you obvious envy of the wild, unrestrained sex that you imagine the gay people having, or your paranoid delusion that children will be taught to desire gaiety!But go on, what other colors do you hate?

Yellow, as in journalism. Probably nothing has more hastened the advent of our present mess as the corruption of the great majority of our media into shills for the socialist agenda.

That is so absurd as to barely merit comment.
But, yes. Obviously the mainstream media is the propoganda arm of the politburo. That's why I can't open a paper, turn on the radio, or watch a Sunday Morning news show without running into.
George Will.
or Pat Buchannan.
or Charles Krauthammer.
or Jonah Goldberg.
or Bill O'Reilly.
or Sean Hannity.
or Joe Scarborough.
or Rush Limbaugh.
or Glenn Beck.
or William Bennet.
or David Brooks.
or Thomas Friedman. Well, you get the idea. And if it's Sunday morning, they're probably interviewing Newt Gingrich or Dick Cheney.
So, yeah. obviously total pinkos.

Any other colors bother you?

Green, as in the Earth-first, humans-last movement; one of the most insidious examples of the use of yellow journalism of our time. As outlined above, eager graduates of journalism school learn not to report the news, but to make it, by propping up the pseudo-science of like-minded liberals who prey on the fears of gullible Americans.

Right, the pseudo-science of EVERY LIVING NOBEL-PRIZE WINNING SCIENTIST who signed the "open letter to humanity" warning about global warming, needs to be propped up by pinko journalists. That's what's going on.

Which brings us to the hue that causes the most bile to rise in conservative craws: red. We conservatives pride ourselves on our steadfast determination to keep, or conserve, that which we hold dear, namely our system of a constitutional republic; one that has served our nation well for over 200 years. Yet liberals are, in many ways, even more stubborn in the opposite direction: they seek to embrace systems of governance that have time and again proved to be murderous regimes and/or outright failures; communism and socialism.

That is just not true, but I don't have the energy to go on with this argument.

And the fact that we have in the White House a black man who is a champion of nearly all of the above is irrelevant. Conservatives have felt the same way about Jimmy Carter, Bill Clinton, Al Gore, John Kerry or anyone else that favors the red
without the white and blue.

So, I get it. You're not a racist. You would equally despise any white man who didn't have sufficient hatred for gay people, or contempt for the environment, or who wants to use the government to help people. Well, I apologize, you clearly are no racist! You're just an awful, angry, bitter, delusional, paranoid, nasty little person. But not a racist.

The Best Band in Atlanta

According to the well-respected local weekly with the really dumb name, "Creative Loafing," there are two candidates for best band in Atlanta.

The editors chose Gentleman Jesse and his Men, while the readers selected The Black Lips. Both of these bands are pretty damn great, so let's put them head to head and see if we can't pick an ultimate winner.

First up, it's Gentleman Jesse.

Now the Black Lips.

Gentleman Jesse.

The Black Lips.

Who could choose between them? It will taker a wiser person than I.

Leave your vote in the comments.