Saturday, December 5, 2020

Weird Op-Ed of the Day

Today's weird op-ed comes from DNI John Ratcliffe via the Murdoch-owned Wall Street Journal.

China Is National Security Threat No. 1

Resisting Beijing’s attempt to reshape and dominate the world is the challenge of our generation.

Oh boy. Here we go. They're going to dust off all the old Red-scare tripe and just replace the word "Russia" with "China," aren't they?

As Director of National Intelligence, I am entrusted with access to more intelligence than any member of the U.S. government other than the president. . . . If I could communicate one thing to the American people from this unique vantage point, it is that the People’s Republic of China poses the greatest threat to America today, and the greatest threat to democracy and freedom world-wide since World War II.


If you all hadn't spent 50 years screaming that the Russkies were going to attack at any miunute and the last 20 trying to convince us that the Muslims were going to kill us all, it might be a bit easier to get us worked up about China.

Anyway, this is prettyrun of the mill boilerplate red-scare/yellow menace tripe until you get to this:

US intelligence shows that China has even conducted human testing on members of the People’s Liberation Army in hope of developing soldiers with biologically enhanced capabilities

Like this, only Chinesier.


You expect us to believe that the Chinese government is condux=cting genetic experiments, not on infants or fetuses, but on full-grown adults? In order to create some kind of extra-athletic soldiers? At a time in history when wars are fought with missiles and drone strikes from thousands of miles away? That's what you want us to believe? Really?

. . . today we must look with clear eyes at the facts in front of us, which make plain that China should be America’s primary national security focus going forward.


Why would China attack us? Half their economy is based on manufacturing goods for US companies and the other half is based on selling shit to US consumers. They have no reason to attack us. Plus, if the best they can do is genetically-enhanced "super-soldiers," I'm not sure we would need to worry that much about them.

Monday, November 16, 2020

Trumpers in the News


Small-Town Trump Rally One Of Many Unreported By Corporate Media

The corporate media gave little to no coverage of the organic Trump rallies that erupted in cities and towns across America in solidarity with the DC march.

Hmm, a small-town Trump rally? That certainly seems news-worthy.

Tens of thousands of Trump supporters flocked to the “Million MAGA March” surrounding the Supreme Court in Washington, DC Saturday. 

See, now that would be impressive if you hadn't promised us a million.

 While corporate media did their best to belittle the march by falsely claiming only “hundreds” attended, 

Wait, is that true? Did the mainstream corporate media really claim that only "hundreds" attended? Well. I clicked on the provided link, and it took me to this:

A claim from Brit Hume that one minor outfit may have claimed hundreds? 

Well is that even true? Here's the first headline from Politico that came up when I googled it:


Thousands rally behind Trump, believing he won race he lost

Trump loyalists converged on the nation’s capital to protest the election results and falsely assert the vote was stolen.

And that's the only article that I could find on Politico that mentioned crowd size. Did I spend a long time searching? Hahaha! You've seen the slapdash quality of this blog. No I did not. But I did look.

. . . they similarly gave little to no coverage to the organic Trump rallies that erupted in cities and towns across America yesterday in solidarity with the DC march.

Okay. . . should they have?

My God, there must be upwardss of fifty people there! How did the networks not cover this?

One such event in Marathon County, Wisconsin brought in a crowd of about 150, who gathered at the county courthouse. 

Oh, 150? One would think that LeMonde and Al Jazeera would be there!

 Despite a cold drizzling rain and slightly above freezing weather, the rural Wisconsinites came out to wave American flags, peel and burn out their Trump flag-waving trucks, and honk their horns in support of the president, demanding a fair and free election.

My God, the headlines write themselves! "Trump supporters support Trump." 

"Supporters of Trump Refuse To Accept Reality In Surprising Turn."  

"Trump Fans Not Smart Enough to Come In Out of the Rain."

The thing is, and I'm not a jouirnalist or anything, I'm just a regular Joe, but I 'm not really sure any of that constitutes what they call "news."

You want to get media coverage, you need something like this:

‘Million Maga March’ Ends In Stabbing, Arrests 

See the difference?

Since many in the corporate media, the Republican establishment, and the Democrat Party simply don’t understand the purpose of the Trump rallies, here are some Wisconsinites ready to explain.

No, we understand. We just think it's stupid.

We are here to “support the president who has been working pretty darn hard for us in the last four years,” said one woman. 

See what I mean? Stupid. 

Unless you consider golfing and rage-tweeting "work," Trump has probably done less work than any President since Harding.


“And we believe in him. And you know, we the people deserve a fair election and we feel like it’s stolen from us.”

Oh, you "feel like" it's been stolen? That's what you "feel?"

This is the problem one of the many problems with the right today. They think their "feelings" are a substitute for facts. So if they "feel" like they don't need to wear a mask, they think that feeling is more valid than the scientific research done by experts. And if they "feel" like the world isn't getting any warmer, that they believe that "feeling" more than the findings of scientists, the easily-read charts and graphs and the evidence of their own idiot eyes and ears when Miami Beach floods every god damn day and we just set a new record for most hurricanes in one season with a half amonth still to go.So now you geniuses "feel like" the election is getting stolen? Do you have any evidence to back up that "feeling?" Hahahahaha, just kidding. I know you don't have any evidence and you don't need any evidence and you don't have to show me any stinking evidence!

So how do you think that the Dems pulled off this "steal?" 

Let's look at my state, Georgia.  The governor is a Republican. The Secretary of State (who is in charge of elections) is a Republican. Republicans hold a 30-seat majority in the State House and a 14-seat majority in the State Senate. So how do you think the Democrats were able to rig the election? And if they could rig the election for Biden, why wouldn't they have done the same for Ossoff and Warnock? (Our two Dems running for  US Senate seats) There's no logical answer to either of those questions, but I guess logic is a lot like evidence in that your "feelings" override it.

Those attending the protest expressed deep frustration with corporate media, Democrat politicians, and the Republican establishment, who have written off the MAGA marches and rallies across the country, declaring them an affront to American democracy or too dangerous due to COVID-19.

An affront to American Democracy?

Who said that? 

You don't have link for that? 

I mean, I'll give you "too dangerous due to COVI-19. Anyone with any sense feels knows that these gatherings spread viruses faster than a Bangkok brothel.

 But if you're going to claim that the press, the Democrats and even the REPUBLICAN establishment has called dumb people exercising their First Amendment rights dumbly for a dumb reason an "affront to American Democracy," you really ought to have at least one example. Becaue Google and me can't find a single instance of anyone saying that.

I know, I know, no stinking evidence, you "feel" like they say that, yada yada yada. . .

“Get a backbone,” Julie said to the Republican establishment. “Stand up for us for once and quit sitting. We’re out of our houses, we’re speaking up. We need you now more than ever. Otherwise, we will vote you out.”

Oh please oh please oh please!!!

Oh PLEASE let 2022 be a repeat of 2010. Please let the MAGA q-anon lunatics nominate ladies who are "not a witch" or men who talk about "legitimate rape." Or hell, in today's political climate, you'll probably nominate candidtates who swear that the Earth is flat, vaccines are Satanic and Hillary Clinton runs a child molesting ring out of a pizzeria. 

To his state and federal representatives, another man looked directly into my iPhone camera and stated: “We’re holding you accountable. We want you to work for us. We’re going to remember what you do and don’t do.”

Oh please oh please oh PLEASE! Please vote out every Republican who isn't willing to die on Conspiracy Hill!

Folks in Marathon County are proof that Trump has struck a nerve with working Americans in rural “fly-over” America. 

Yes. Such a nerve that an entire county with a population of 135,000+ people turned out a whopping 150 to support him!

This election proved there is a deep divide between America’s elites and the populist movement of Trump supporters. Look at a map. Rural and small-town America voted overwhelmingly for President Trump. The people who came to these rallies are angry. They believe there is evidence of fraud via mail-in ballots and other anomalies and they are ready to fight for the president.

Oh they "believe" that, do they? Believing something definitely counts as proof, right? 

Look, there are people who believe that Stanley Kubrick made "The Shining" as a way of confessing his role in having faked the moon landing.

Seriously, check out this documentary 

Anyway, we don't go around saying that Kubrick may have just wanted to make a psychological horror film but maybe also he wanted to let us know about the whole moon landing thing. We just roll our eyes at these people and go about our business. We don't insist that they be taken seriously because they really really believe it.

Trump has transformed the Republican Party into the working-class, multiracial party. If elected Republicans don’t pay attention to their new base, who unabashedly love the president and have reason to suspect fraud, they might find themselves in very tough primaries soon.

Okay, first of all, "multi-racial? Seriously? Because he got a few more black and Hispanic votes than your standard Republican doesn't make your white supremacist party "multi-racial." It just means that there's a sucker born every minute and a few of those suckers speak Spanish

Also, elected Republicans have done nothing but kiss Trump's doughy amprphous ass for four years. How many Republican campaign ads were there whenre the candidate boasts of how often s/he votes with Trump? I didn't count, but there were a lot. But please, feel free to primary them all. Please please PLEASE primary them all!

Monday, November 9, 2020

Reasons for Optimism.




Peter Burfeind


5 Reasons Conservatives Should Have Hope For The Future

We might be in an Obi-Wan Kenobi moment, wherein striking Trump down will make his movement more powerful than anyone can possibly imagine.

Hoo boy! Here we go. Buckle up folks, things are gonna get stupid!

1. Final Liberation from Establishment Republicans

At some level, the left has to be jealous. For any chance of defeating Donald Trump, look what they had to settle for: a dementia-addled, 78-year-old fossil who’s spent 47 years in the Senate as a pandering politician straight out of Central Casting. But the Democrat establishment pushed him because he polled best against Trump and, as Democrats are so quick to remind us,                                                                                           “science and data.”

Oof! Where to begin? I guess for starters it might be worth pointing out that the 78-year-old foddil just kicked your guy's ass.

Secondly, no he didn't poll best against Trump. Mike Bloomberg did.


New Poll Shows Every Democratic Frontrunner Beating Donald Trump in 2020 Election

The Democrats weren't forced to choose Biden. They chose him because he was the candidate that the donor class felt most comfortable with. Remember :

Ah, I remember those days. I remember hearing the smart set tell us how a Herman Cain would be an abject failure as a candidate or president, so we’d better go with a traditional politician, such as John McCain, Mitt Romney, and Jeb Bush.

Yeah, he would've been. He was a deluded political  dilettante with zero qualifications. He's Trump without the racism.

Then came Trump, dismantling the entire paradigm. One of the most beloved politicians in our history, 

So beloved that his approval rating never hit the 50% mark!

 he showed us how a successful American with a love for his country can do great things, things politicians have been promising for years, such as lowering unemployment for minorities, increasing wages for the working class, sticking it to communist China, creating peace in the Middle East, giving us energy independence, restructuring bad trade deals, withdrawing from foreign entanglements, and revolutionizing the federal judiciary.

Oh my God! Again, it's hard to know where to start!

First of all "a suucessful American?" He spent more time in bankruptcy court than he does on the golf course. And when he wasn't declaring bankruptcy, he was getting bailed out by his daddy.
Second, "love for his country?" You're not serious. Trump loves no one and nothing, He is incapable of love. It could not be more obvious.

Third, he didn't do any of those things. There is no peace in the Middle East. Wages haven't risen for the working class. We certainly don't have energy independance. What kind of fantasy world do you people live in?


Meanwhile, the Democrats get to watch a doddering hack grapple with the wily Sen. Mitch McConnell for four years, while trying to pick up the pieces of an economy they tanked to get Biden elected president and nothing else.

Oh right. THEY tanked the economy. They who control one half of one branch of the government are obviously in a position  of such great strength when it comes to manipulating the economy. 

And Mitch McConnell isn't "wily." He's just shameless. "Wily" implies cleverness, sneakiness, deception, etc. McConnell announces ahead of time what he's going to do then he does it. And because Republicans are in the majority, no one can stop him. There's no wiliness required to say "we're not going to approve any judge that the black president might nominate because I'm a dick and I hate him." If he was "wily," he would convince people that he was perfectly willing to observe norms and confirm an appointee, just not Garland because of some reason. And then not the next one for some other reason and so on. . .

You almost have to laugh. While they’re locked into “establishment mode” for four years, pantomiming gravitas with their whole “adults in the room” schtick to impress the seven remaining people watching CNN, the right will be having a blast retaking the House, nurturing a new generation of Trump-like candidates, and choosing another unconventional leader for president in 2024 that we actually like and don’t have to hold our noses to select. 

Wait. . . I thought he was "one of the most beloved politicians in our history?" Now you're saying you didn't like him and had to "hold your nose" to vote for him? I know you guys love to re-write history but Jeezus, you don't generally do it halfway through an article!

Okay. That's one reason why the right should supposedly be optimistic or whatever. There are supposed to be fgour more, but my brain hurts after just one. Maybe we'll revisit this in the future.

Sunday, November 8, 2020

Fun With Headlines


FOX News Videos

McCarthy: Trump must flip Pennsylvania, two other states to take back election

Uhhh. . . . . yeah. And the Atlanta Falcons just need to undo the fourth quarter in order to win the 2017 Superbowl!

The election is over, dude.

CBS News Videos

Election law expert David Becker says Trump's recount strategy "likely to fail"

Gee, ya think?

You think his baseless accusations of fraud and threats of meritless lawsuits might fare better?


Nothing will happen. There are no consequences for failure in politics. Donna Brazile ran the most incompetent campaign in history, losing to dimbulb failson George W Bush and they made her the chair of the DNC. Mitt Romney gets to be an elder statesman in the GOP. Newt Gingrich is on TV every Sunday and he doesn't even have to have a job, his wife got the all-time sinecure ambassadorship for no reason other than that she is married to the disgraced former Speaker whgo resigned under a cloud of scandal. So nothing will happen to the GOP. They will do to Biden what they did to Obama and in 2024 they will come back with someone who makes Trump look like a moderate and there's a 50% chance they'll win.


Stacey Abrams says Democrats will pour resources into key Georgia Senate runoffs

Well, yeah. . . There are no other races. What the hell else would you do with any resources you still have available?

Oh, yeah. That could fool anyone! That totally looks like a real live human face.

Fox News' Chris Wallace says there 'doesn't seem to be much reason to believe' Trump's election lawsuits will succeed

Yeah, they have the same chance as my suit against the girls who wouldn't date me in high school. But it never hurts to try!

QAnon-supporting Republican accuses a former Navy SEAL lawmaker of having a 'loser mindset'

Republican Marjorie Taylor Greene of Georgia, a newly-elected congresswoman who faced scrutiny for espousing conspiracy theories, accused Rep. Dan Crenshaw of Texas, a former US Navy SEAL, of having a "loser mindset."

Well, he did go crying to NBC to make Pete Davidson apologize for mocking his eyepatch, so she may have a point.

Um, divorce court.

Friday, October 23, 2020

Fourth Annual Halloween Dance Party

Okay, I know I haven't been around much lately, but dammit, I am at least going to keep up this one tradition. Welcome to Professor Chaos's 4th annual Halloween Dance Party!
Ready? Let's dance!

The Addams Family Dancing GIF

The Addams Family Television GIF

(cw foor this next one: mention of attempted rape)

Addams Family Dance GIF

Related image

Tuesday, September 29, 2020

Can't we have one nice thing?


God Is Dead. So Is the Office. These People Want to Save Both

Oaky. . . . first of all, how are you gonna save something that is already dead? 

Also, you say God is dead, but irrespective of whether a god exists or not, do you have any idea how many people pack the churches on Sunday mornings? Not to mention the mosques, synagogues, temples etc. on the various days they hold services. It's been the conventional wisdom for the last few decades to say that religion is didappearing because all the major denominations are hemorrhaging members, but what no one ever seemed to take into account was the rise of the non-denominational mega-churches whose memberships tend to be in the thousands. And it's not just the Creflo Dollars and Kenneth Copelands of the world, just try to drive down Peachtree Street in Atlanta on a Sunday morning. You'll see why the intersection of Peachtree and West Wesley is referred to as "Jesus Junction."

The Cathedral of Christ the King, Second-Ponce de Leon Baptist Church and the Cathedral of St. Philip have Peachtree Road addresses and are all within a block of each other. Sunday usually draws about 20,000 people to the intersection of Peachtree and East Wesley roads and Andrews Drive.

This is just one block of one city, a city that also contains the 13,000 member Mount Paran Church, the Northpoint Community Church who see an average of 30,000 people attend services each week at its seven different metro Atlanta locations, the Word of Faith Family Worship Cathedral, which meets in a former Sam's Club building, etc etc etc.
So, I'm not really sure that "God" needs saving. Seems like he's doing just fine. He has what, like three different cable channels devoted soleley to seperating the faithful from their money? He's fine.

Aaaaaanyway. . . .

Let's see what this article is all about, shall we?

God Is Dead. So Is the Office. These People Want to Save Both

Divinity consultants are designing sacred rituals for corporations

"Divinity Consultants."
That can not possibly be a thing.
Can it?
Please tell me that's not a real thing. 

Also, who the Hell wants "sacred rituals" in their corporations?

In the beginning there was Covid-19, and the tribe of the white collars rent their garments, for their workdays were a formless void, and all their rituals were gone.

Okay, you're already veering off into fantasyland. You really think people miss going in to the office? You think people are working on their laptops in their homes thinking "I wish I had to put pants on and endure the asinine small-talk of my dull-witted co-workers?"

The adrift may yet find purpose, for a new corporate clergy has arisen to formalize the remote work life. 

Yeah, that's what people want. They want their work-from-home experience to be more "formalized." 

They go by different names: ritual consultants, sacred designers, soul-centered advertisers. They have degrees from divinity schools. 

Any Divinity School graduate who enters into the fieled of  "ritual consulting" or "soul-centered advertising" should immediately have their degree revoked.

Imagine you were a professor of theology and you look up some of your former students on Facebook and you see oh, Bill Smith is preaching at First Baptist, good for him. And Mary Jones is teaching at St. Andrews. That's nice, she always did like kids. And John Weaselman is. . . bringing sacred ritual to the corporate boardroom? What the FU---

In simpler times, divinity schools sent their graduates out to lead congregations or conduct academic research. Now there is a more office-bound calling: the spiritual consultant. Those who have chosen this path have founded agencies — some for-profit, some not — with similar-sounding names: Sacred Design LabRitual Design LabRitualist. They blend the obscure language of the sacred with the also obscure language of management consulting to provide clients with a range of spiritually inflected services, from architecture to employee training to ritual design.

Their larger goal is to soften cruel capitalism, making space for the soul, and to encourage employees to ask if what they are doing is good in a higher sense.

Do you really waant your employees asking that? Because there is almost no one who could honestly answer "yes" to the question "is what you do in your non-to-five job 'good' in a higher sense?" Do you want half your staff to realize how meaningless their work really is and quit to go backpacking through Tibet or join the Peace Corps or something?

Having watched social justice get readily absorbed into corporate culture, they want to see if more American businesses are ready for faith.

Where on Earth do you get the idea that "social justice" has been "reradily absorbed" into corporate culture? Just because sensitivity training exists? Because companies a re worried about lawsuits so they have to teach their male employees not to comment on their female co-workers' bustlines or their white employees not to assume that new hire Jamal is the new janitor when he's the new regional vice president of sales? I'm sure some of the language of "social justice" has been co-opted by corporate America, so sure, there might be money to be made by helping companies co-opt spiritualism or rewligion or whatever.

“We’ve seen brands enter the political space,” said Casper ter Kuile, a co-founder of Sacred Design Lab. Citing a Vice report, he added: “The next white space in advertising and brands is spirituality.”

Spirituality is the next "white space" for "advertising and brands." Can't we have anything nice? Can't we have one single solitary aspect of our lives that isn't turned into a revenue stream by some rapacious ghouls?

Ezra Bookman founded Ritualist, which describes itself as “a boutique consultancy transforming companies and communities through the art of ritual,” last year in Brooklyn. He has come up with rituals for small firms for events like the successful completion of a project — or, if one fails, a funeral.

No, you do not have a fucking funeral for a business project. Funerals are for people. And sometimes for beloved pets. But fuck you, they are not for having lost the Schmenckman account.

And you sure as fuck don't need a ritual for the successful completion of a project either. You order pizza. You maybe hand out bonuses if you're that kind of company. You give everyone a pat on the back a hearty "well done" and a celebratory thumbs up.

Companies have been doing this shit for years, no need to re-invent the wheel. Especially not by cheapening religious rituals.

“How do we help people process the grief when a project fails and help them to move on from it?” Mr. Bookman said.

Employees really should not be so personally invested in the company's projects. Most of us get paid the same whether the company meets its arbitrary goals or not. It's only natural to feel a bit disappointed if something you worked hard on fails, but if you need help processing grief and moving on from a failed sales pitch, you should seek professional help, not a creepy charlatan with a made-up ritual.

Messages on the start-up’s Instagram feed read like a kind of menu for companies who want to buy operational rites a la carte: “A ritual for purchasing your domain name (aka your little plot of virtual land up in the clouds).”

Why would you think you need a ritual to purchase a domain name? Don't you just . . . purchase one? I had a website briefly and I purchased a domain name and I did it without calling in a priest or rabbi or shaman. I just typed in the name I wanted and when it said it was taken, I typed in something else. It's not hard. Is rthere some kind of voodoo that this company can do to ensure you get your first choice? Because otherwise this seems like a pointless waste of everyone's time.

The sacred consultant trend might be led by the co-founders of Sacred Design Lab — Mr. ter Kuile [sic], Angie Thurston and Sue Phillips. They met at Harvard Divinity School, where they remain affiliated as inaugural Ministry Innovation Fellows, and founded their organization as a nonprofit in 2019.

Their backgrounds vary. Mr. ter Kuile [sic], who lives in Brooklyn and co-hosts a popular Harry Potter podcast,


Oh, a Harry Potter podcast! Oh well then you know he's a very serious person.
A guy who has that much time to dedicate to the discussion of a series of children's books is obviously someone whom you'd want to consult about important things like your spritual development!

Mr. ter Kuile [sic], who lives in Brooklyn and co-hosts a popular Harry Potter podcast, wrote a book on how to “transform common, everyday practices — yoga, reading, walking the dog — into sacred rituals.”

Yoga. Transforming yoga into a "sacred ritual." Didn't yoga begin as a sacred Hindu ritual?  Isn't that why fundamentalist Christians are so afraid of it? This is the worst kind of whitesplaining colonizer mentality I think I've seen since an Englishman said to my wife that yes, they had tea in India before the British arrived, but they didn't know how to drink it properly.

“The question we ask is: ‘How do you translate the ancient traditions that have given people access to meaning-making practices, but in a context that is not centered around the congregation?’” Mr. ter Kuile said.

The nonprofit says it has been thinking of sacred designs for companies like Pinterest, IDEO and the Obama Foundation.

You know, it's bad enough that they want us to think of the company as a "team." It's worse that they want us to think of our co-workers and bosses as a "family." Now they want us to derive religious meaning from the soulless corporations that siphon our life-force into their profit-making machinery? Can't we have anything to ourselves?

Ms. Phillips doesn’t see corporations replacing organized religion — but, she said, she does see an opportunity for companies to bring people some of the meaning that they used to derive from churches, temples, mosques and the like.

She talks about her work like a pastor would. “We spend a lot of time doing witness and accompaniment of our clients,” she said. “We listen to their stories. We want to understand their lives. We want to understand their passion and their longing.”

You want to understand their passion and their longing? They passionately long not to be there. They long passionately to be home with their families, out with their friends
 anywhere but in a god damn office.. And if they want a spiritual experience, they will go to church. Or they'll take up meditation or qi gong or study theology or philosophyor do anything other than participate in some sort of soul-crushing corporate ritual.

Evan Sharp, the co-founder of Pinterest, hired Sacred Design Lab to categorize all major religious practices and think of ways to apply them to the office. They made him a spreadsheet.

A spreadsheet.
They reduced all the religious traditions of the world into a spreadsheet. 
Wow. Now that's a metaphor!

Workers have achieved measured success recently in pressuring employers to address systemic racism — some companies are making Juneteenth a paid holiday, for example, and investing in Black- and minority-owned ventures — and the sacred design consultants are wondering if employees might also begin to demand spiritual goodness.

No no no, look. There are things that people want from life. That doesn't mean they want to get them from their employer. Sure, some things like hey could you maybe be less racist? you might ask your employer for, but others. . . like, for instance, people want love and romance in their lives, right? But they sure as hell don't want to come into work and see candlelight and hear soft music and have their creepy lecherous boss present them with a single red rose. 
Likwise for "spiritual goodness." If people want that they'll go to church. Or read sacred texts. Or do peyote or I don't know, anything but demand it from their bosses. Work is work. There is nothing you can do to make it spiritually fulfilling or psychologically uplifting or not soul-crushing. It's what we do to finance the good parts of our lives. And we don't want our employers trying to co-opt those good parts. Can't we just have one nice thing?