Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Everything That's Wrong With American Culture in One Headline

Brandi Glanville's Dad Said Her Oscar Dress Showed "Way Too Much Boob"

Oh, my God, so many, many things wrong here.

First: There is a headline about a person named "Brandi Glanville" and the name is just plopped in there like the US Weekly people just assume that you know who she is. Apparently, she is one of the loathsome "Real Housewives of some place or other," one of those despicable people who agree to act like drunken louts in front of TV cameras in exchange for being treated as tough they had accomplished something. And for some reason, this repugnant person is walking the red carpet at the Oscars. The Oscars!

 Granted, the Oscars have lots of problems, they're certainly bloated, overlong, self-congratulatory and boring as fuck, but they do still reward people who have reached some pinnacle of artistic achievement. How did a "real Housewife" get invited to the proceedings? Who knows? Well, probably a lot of people do, but I don't and I'm certainly not willing to invest the time to find out.

Secondly, Did someone really ask her father to comment on his daughter's bosoms? And instead of responding with "How dare you, sir? I will bid you good day! I Said Good Day!" this creep answered the question? "Yeah, I thought my daughter's boobs were a little over the top!" Apparently, attention-whore disorder runs in the family.

Okay, I made the mistake of reading a bit of the article, and it turns out that no one asked ol' dad about his daughter's breasts. He just decided to volunteer the information. On Twitter.
Now, he could have taken his daughter aside and said "Dear, don't you think that dress might be a bit too revealing?" or some such thing, but that would be stupid when you could just post that shit on Twitter so everyone can see!

And she proudly re-tweeted his message because obviously her "fans" are going to want to know what her dad thinks about her tits! Because our pop culture is irredeemably fucked up.

Hey brand, we looked for you on the oscars saw you in the dress. Beautiful dress but way too much boob looked like you fall out any time.Dad

I imagine that when this tweet hit the tweeterverse, Jesus looked over at his father and asked "This? This is what you wanted me to save? For this I left Heaven?" and then they both wept.