Thursday, December 8, 2016

Fun with Headlines

All headlines via Yahoo! News

Tina Fey Has One Answer For Why Hillary Clinton Lost The Election

Does it rhyme with "Schmillary Schminton is a schmerrible schmandidate?"

Report: Illegal Immigrants Using 'Magic Words' to Instantly Enter US


Washington Times reporter Stephen Dinan said Tuesday that illegal immigrants have been coached to use so-called "magic words" when apprehended by U.S. Border Patrol agents in order to be temporarily released into the country.
Hmm. . . I don't know. FOX isn't the most reliable source in the, , ,oh, wait! They're citing the Moonie Times?
Well, now I don't know what to think!

No mistrial for Dylann Roof after church shooting survivor calls him 'evil'

Because of the longstanding legal principle of Duh!

Um, the one who was a little girl is now an adult? Oh, I can't believe it!
And everyone else is dead, so. . .

Bears, Lions have been totally different teams in fourth quarters

Yes. The Bears and the Lions are, in fact totally different teams. Hence the different names.

Celebrities Caught Doing The Walk Of Shame

Oh, fer fuck sake! Are we seriously still using that expression?

Confucius Say "Do This And Live Without Suffering"

 And that one too?


Klan leaders charged after stabbing ahead of pro-Trump rally

Goddammit, those sons of bi --  

Two leaders of the Ku Klux Klan group were set to appear in court on charges of stabbing a fellow white supremacist before a parade to celebrate Donald Trump's presidential election,
 Oh. Oh, okay then. Never mind.